Sadly, this is not the Onion.

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For true stories that you could have sworn were from The Onion.

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76
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Japan launches drinkable mayo for fans that just can’t get enough (www.thetimes.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Apprehensive_Bat8293 on 2024-11-29 08:37:42.
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Prime Minister Christopher Luxon claims he’d be comfortable living next to new radioactive waste facility (www.nzherald.co.nz)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/S0cXs on 2024-11-27 07:57:19.
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Ontario woman buys van with odometer rolled back almost 100,000 kilometres (toronto.ctvnews.ca)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Creative_soja on 2024-11-27 06:31:16.
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Orca that killed its SeaWorld trainer dies after being forced into incest (www.the-express.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/friendswithbillw on 2024-11-27 06:22:34.
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Reducing Abdominal Fat: Researchers Uncover Surprising Health Benefits of Maple Syrup (scitechdaily.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/miauguau44 on 2024-11-27 04:03:50.
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Cocaine, Chickens Lead to Closing Southside Tavern (urbanmilwaukee.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/mrmadchef on 2024-11-27 03:23:51.
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US says a drug cartel is behind the longstanding problem of illegal fishing in the Gulf of Mexico (apnews.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Leather-Paramedic-10 on 2024-11-27 03:16:58.
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South Korea convicts man over binge eating to dodge military draft (edition.cnn.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/HighestDownvotes on 2024-11-27 02:13:44.
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Fox News guest who slams San Francisco crime is arrested for working as pimp (www.the-independent.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/CLUB770 on 2024-11-27 02:07:23.
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‘See, no touch’ but it could still be molestation in Japan (www.straitstimes.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Icowanda on 2024-11-27 01:48:45.
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Attractive Female Students’ Grades Plummet When Classes Go Remote—Here’s Why (sinhalaguide.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/SabotageFusion1 on 2024-11-27 01:01:47.
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No, Butterball Did Not Issue A Recall Because Workers Were Having Sex With The Turkeys (www.whiskeyriff.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Pleasant_One8771 on 2024-11-26 23:54:59.
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ISPs say their “excellent customer service” is why users don’t switch providers (arstechnica.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/mediumdeviation on 2024-11-26 22:13:50.
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Mother hid child in drawer under bed for almost three years in 'wicked beyond belief’ act (www.bbc.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Kindly-Ad-9969 on 2024-11-26 20:09:40.
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Doctors say it's fine to pee in the shower (www.cnn.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/taradiddlegubbins on 2024-11-26 18:15:52.
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At 17, Sophia Just Broke Her Brother’s Record for Youngest to Pass the California Bar (www.goodnewsnetwork.org)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/-Appleaday- on 2024-11-26 17:39:50.
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Lame duck Biden pardons Thanksgiving turkeys as the world burns (www.theguardian.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/PrintOk8045 on 2024-11-26 09:37:27.
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Drake alleges Universal falsely inflated popularity of Kendrick Lamar diss track ‘Not Like Us’ (apnews.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/More_Application1370 on 2024-11-26 16:50:38.
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Taylor Swift Released 'No View' Seats For Her Vancouver Shows, But Resellers Took Them All (www.iheartradio.ca)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/PabloTheUnicorn on 2024-11-26 16:46:45.
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Cheating on your spouse is no longer a crime in New York after 1907 law repealed (www.the-express.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/TheExpressUS on 2024-11-26 15:31:35.
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Prison appears to be no barrier for Michigan county official who won another term (www.mlive.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/TheLaraSuChronicles on 2024-11-26 15:02:02.
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Supreme Court to hear case on definition of a woman (www.bbc.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/fjhforever on 2024-11-26 11:07:14.
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South Korean man convicted for deliberately gaining weight to evade military service (apnews.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/BoltUp69 on 2024-11-26 06:21:16.
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Stolen shoe mystery solved at Japanese kindergarten when security camera catches weasel in the act (apnews.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Business_Initial_281 on 2024-11-26 03:21:52.
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Florida inmate has 'miracle' baby by using air vent to get pregnant: 'Like Virgin Mary' (www.the-express.com)
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The original post: /r/nottheonion by /u/Kindly-Ad-9969 on 2024-11-26 02:35:19.
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