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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/kathryn_face on 2023-10-01 23:56:21.

Been working in healthcare since 2017, and the last two and a half years have been as a nurse in CVICU.

This is definitely pervasive in other specialties but I’ve noticed the vast majority of women choose or request to go to a cardiac rehab facility and cite to staff they just don’t want to be forced to care for their husbands.

It absolutely baffles me that a woman can have her chest split open, ribs broken and mended together, and still be expected to care for someone at home directly after recharge.

Nurses of other specialties, what’s your experience?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/AndWhatBeard on 2023-10-01 22:59:42.

Original Title: This makes me so upset. "The coroner was told that elderly patients presenting with similar symptoms would usually be X-rayed, but due to Zana's age, gender and the risks to her fertility outweighing the benefits, medics decided not to scan."

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/nlima2688 on 2023-10-01 21:50:38.

So I(f35) went through my texts recently and realized that all of my friends have not text or called me but I reach out to them often. Unfortunately I have been going through some hard things and well turns out I don't have many who care enough to check up and say hi. I text all of the people I concerned to be good friends (some were best friends in highschool) back in July....not a single one has reached out since. I feel like I have to chase my friends to have an actual relationship. I am so tired of it and so sad. Does anyone else feel like their friends only talk to them if they need something? Why is it so hard to find friends who care ?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Tall-Chicken1887 on 2023-10-01 20:54:20.

I knew women who stayed in unhappy marriages (often abusive marriages) because they couldn’t afford to leave. They quit their job to be homemakers and became fully dependent on their husbands. And they couldn’t leave because they’re unable to support themselves. How will they support themselves and their kids with no job? And it’s not easy to get a job when you went MIA from the workforce for years. Employers hate gaps on resumes. This is why I will never depend on a partner 100% financially

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/sleepy_little_panda on 2023-10-01 20:01:05.

She did not say it was a fibroid. She did not say it was a polyp. She did not say it was a cyst. I’m scared because she really said nothing at all and referred me to a women’s hospital for surgery. Looking back, I think I was too shocked to say much myself. I didn’t ask any questions.

The surgeon I saw later said that he believes it’s benign because it appears smooth and doesn’t have jagged edges — something often seen with malignancy. He didn’t say much else except that it has to be biopsied to ensure it isn’t. It’s reassuring, but I know his opinion isn’t enough.

The biopsy is next Thursday. Each day is a battle against fear that it’s something horrible.

Any stories to share? Any reassurance? Wisdom?

Symptoms I’ve had since June/July:

• abnormal heavy bleeding
• the need to change super tampon/pad every 1-2 hours
• periods of light bleeding followed by gushes with multiple blood clots the size of my fist
• bilateral leg cramps (isn’t so bad)
• pelvic fullness/low back pain
• anemia due to high volume of blood loss
• general fatigue

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/throwawayta3031 on 2023-10-01 19:58:36.

Im a queer woman in a relationship with another women, and I tend to get really excited for holidays and her birthday. I always try and get things in between. From Squishmallows big enough to be pillows, to her fav snacks.

Whenever I post online, I see a lot of men saying it’s going overboard to be doing it so often. Some have even said it’s a waste of money.

Which I never get. I think of my girlfriend where ever I go. Like when I travel for work, I’ll get her something that reminds me of her in a bigger city. So long as it’s in budget, I don’t see why not. Especially when you’d be spending the same money with friends/family.

Feels like they don’t care if their partner feels seen and I think it’s discouraging.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/ManateePub on 2023-10-01 18:25:40.

I don't think I fully understood just how bleak the dating scene was until last night. Men my age (24) have not only weaponized incompetence, but honed it so perfectly that it could probably split atoms.

My friend group invited a guy over for our Saturday movie night who they were "sure" I would like. On his recommendation, we watched this movie in which Harvey Keitel plays a corrupt cop who SAs women, shoots stuff, and yells racial slurs while he drives around NYC. Drawing heavily from the depths of his college sophomore education, this guy I was "sure" to like lectured me on how the movie was "Like, a metaphor for religion and stuff." As a sort of bonus, he pounded beers all night and finally threw up all over my friends' kitchen. He slept it off. We cleaned it up because he was "going through a rough time" after not being accepted to the police academy (DUI, battery).

Where does one even find normal, respectful men now? It's not a rhetorical question. Any hopeful anecdotes or suggestions?

P.S. Apparently members of an incel forum are downvoting my posts. A friend who's infiltrated them sent screenshots. I sort of figured that a safe space for women online was a big ask. Oh well. Dreams are still free everyone.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/misstempt on 2023-10-01 18:10:45.

I feel like I can't catch a break. Every man in my life has turned out to be a horrible person with deep flaws. My ex who I dated for three years turned out to be a full blown narcissist who was cheating on me the entire relationship. He topped it off with attempted sextortion. I've cut contact with my brother after he told me to kill myself in a minor disagreement. My best friend has turned out to be a pathological liar and takes advantage of our friendship. My own father has become an immature drunk who constantly argues with my mother. Even coworkers can't just be my coworker without crossing boundaries. And then you meet up with your girl friends for drinks and they all have similar experiences. What is going on with these men?? I've almost completely given up on trying to date or meet new people. I don't know the words to describe how I'm feeling. Defeated? Exhausted? Confused? Traumatized? I mean this is so obviously a man's world we're living in but I feel like something is so wrong here. Does anyone else understand this?? Have I just been so naive my entire life and somehow surrounded myself with the worst possible men?? Sorry if this type of post isn’t appropriate. I’m not trying to sound like a misandrist just venting a little bit. I posted this is another sub and only got one response from a man ofc.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/tryingdandelion on 2023-10-01 16:17:33.

Men (and some lgbtq+ women for that matter) are just not ready for a woman who’s confident and doesn’t feel bad about putting herself first. I’m feeling myself more than I ever have and I’m SO HAPPY with my personality, my body, my sexuality... It feels so good to not have to adjust to other people at all times because my top one priority is me.

The consequence: oh my god my bar for romantic/sexual partners is waaaay higher. I refuse to put up with certain things the way I did and men HATE that! No matter how studied on feminist they think they are they really do prefer us docile. Most would rather we just smile and go along with whatever they want.

Why this all came up? A bad ex said I was way more fun back then and when asked what he meant by that he said I was just more agreeable. Uh… I was more fun when I was depressed and wanted to die? Sad to think you only loved a version of me that loved you but hated herself. Good thing that that poor girl is being well cared for now. I think this all made me feel a little objectified in the sense that I spent so long in a relationship with a man that didn’t actually care for me, but that’s on him. Welp, can’t wait to meet someone that respects me and loves me as much I do them!

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/scorpiorising29 on 2023-10-01 16:26:39.

Are they hoping this rule will stop them from cheating? Because it won't. If people are going to cheat, they will cheat

If they don't trust their partner, why are they with them, just screams control to soothe their insecurities

Also, surely that means they need to get rid of all their own friends who are the opposite gender to their partner because their friends would want to have sex with their partner too...

so they just be left with each other.....

Now I think about it, that level of possessiveness is a lot of people's goal.... jeez that was a whirlwind realisation

Like, one of my exes from YEARS ago demanded I stopped seeing a male friend because apparently he only hung out with me in a hopes he'd get lucky.... funny how when we broke up both of his closest mates bad mouthed him, sent me unsolicited dick pics and did their very best to get me to sleep with them.... they all fell out big time about it but apparently it was my best friend who I'd known since pre school who was the threat....

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/neuroflix on 2023-10-01 17:04:31.

Off the back off a post in this sub in which the OPs mum woke her because sleeping without a bra was "whorish". I'm wondering what other peculiar things women have been told makes them look like sex workers?

For example, I once bought and wore an anklet. I was really happy with it. My Mother, however, insists "anklets are for prostitutes" and I'm advertising myself by wearing it.

(Clarity, this is not intended to shame sex workers, rather weird attitudes to items women wears, things women do and weird morals people hold)

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/justlikeaknife on 2023-10-01 16:48:49.

It’s the same old scenario - a guy hits on you and you don’t react the way he wants, so he flips on you and calls you ugly. Or a guy you used to know in school contacts you out of the blue, and when he finds out you’re taken or otherwise not interested, you’re dead to him from that point on and he’s trash-talking you to anyone who will listen.

Why do they have to swing so drastically from one end to the other? Why does the woman automatically have to become the devil when they don’t get their way?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/BitterPillPusher2 on 2023-10-01 16:41:09.

I'm loving this trend. For those who don't know, some women were poking fun at themselves with a Girl Math trend on social media. It started on Twitter (or X), and bled over to Tik Tok. It was things like, "Girl math is when an item costs $20 but is buy one get one free, so I saved $20 rather than spent $20." It was all well and good until, to absolutely no woman's surprise, men inserted themselves to talk about how stupid women were.

So women started a Boy Math trend absolutely owning men. And I am here for it. Not only are women hilarious (which we already knew), but it is spot on. Some of the favorites I've seen are, "Boy math is saying all women are gold diggers, but his mattress is on the floor." And, "Boy math is saying you have 50/50 custody and only see your kids 5 days a month." Loving it.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Nickel03 on 2023-10-01 16:40:58.

I (35F) and my husband (36M) have been together for 8 years, married 3 years and have a new baby together. I'm only 4 months postpartum, and I've been having a lot of pain during/after sex, so I told my husband I no longer want to have sex if it's painful for me, because obviously I'm not fully healed. It isn't enjoyable, and I then have pain for the rest of the day while caring for our baby. But he will not stop bringing up the lack of sex and how it's making him miserable. He now wants a blow job a couple of times a week. I just started pelvic floor physiotherapy, so hopefully that'll help, but I had a stage 2 tear and I'm pretty sure my bladder is slightly prolapsed.

A little back story, I have a low sex drive and he has always been the initiator when it comes to sex. I probably initiate 2 times a year. Before baby, we probably had sex 2-3 times a week. More than I would really want, but I compromised because he would probably want more than that (and we were trying to get pregnant). He has not always taken my "no" to sex seriously and sometimes would keep pestering me and I regrettably did give in many times. Or if I said things like "why do you want to have sex with someone who isn't interested" he would say that I made him feel bad, or like he was a bad person.

We didn't have sex for 8 weeks after the baby was born, and I had covid during that time, so there was a 10 day stretch of me staying in my room and only coming out to feed the baby. He complained about lack of sleep then, but doesn't seem to understand that I haven't slept a good night since the baby was born. He often sleeps in a different room, so it's just me up multiple times in the night feeding/changing the baby. The tiredness and the lack of alone time (baby constantly around me) has made me want sex even less than before.

I guess I'm just wondering how can I make him understand where I am? Also, he rarely hugs me/cuddles, even though I say that's what I need without any sex being initiated or expected. He has said in the past this is difficult for him because it makes him horny. We had a big argument the other day that resulted in me saying "what if I posted our situation in reddit, how do you think people would respond" to which he said he doesn't give a "f*ck" about reddit or what my family thinks, which really upset me. I just don't know how to go forward with this. Every day he says I need to get this physio figured out so we can have sex again and how he is so horny all the time. He literally masterbated and not 2 hours later was saying that again. It's really frustrating and pissing me off.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/walkitoff23 on 2023-10-01 15:30:36.

Whats good everyone. I made a post yesterday about men not wanting to do home chores and how my brother don’t do shit around the house. I deleted the post because it got overwhelming lol. Ok so i talked to my brother and he literally said

“ well home chores is for women, you can just say help us out and not cover it as a ‘life skill’ i got to learn. I don’t have to know how to use the laundry. I can have it washed”

I said “you will eventually marry someone, or leave alone at some point. Whatchu gonna do.”

He went “i will hire help if i can and when i get married, i can help but house chores are for women. That’s how it’s always been. Why do you want it to change.” wtff🤯

I ended the convo with “because it’s not the 1800. Our parents were wrong to raise you this way. hopefully you will change after time.I wouldn’t want to marry a guy who cant do the basic stuff around the house. Look it up and see how other men feel about. get other perspectives. Be progressive” and mentioned his friend(B) who brushes in the same sink he washes his dishes and hair all over his shower drain, living like a caveman. The only thing B talks about is how he went to a private school and his rich friends, the cool car he drove back home and how he was raised by a maid. Whoever dates him will block him after seeing how he lives. My brother knows he can’t live with someone like him and yet he doesn’t make an effort to be better. Thats him if he lived alone so yeah

I’m literally blown because we have never talked seriously about this before so to hear how he actually feel made my skin crawl. I’m APPALLED.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/FreedomAnarchy on 2023-10-01 11:13:24.

My bf is a very social butterfly. Love it, he makes friends everywhere he goes and it’s lovely really. Glad he can feel comfortable everywhere. I don’t mind the female gender being in his friend groups. I really couldn’t care less.

It’s the weird ones that pop up every month. Like him befriending a girl he called “hot” before to his friends.. and then having deep conversations in DM right after. While he rarely even wants to text me, he dms them and talks to them for days/hours on topics he’d say to me: “idk what u want me to say” it’s almost as if I’m a stupid puppy dog. He can’t hold a conversation with me to save his LIFE so often yet he loves talking to women he calls hot and other things to his friends. He loves befriending peoples crushes, it’s freaking creepy.

Whenever I mention “oh didn’t u call her hot asf last time, and u said you wouldn’t add her anywhere. Why is she in ur dms?” He would rage and lose it on me. “I never called her hot!” It’s literally …… what???? While his friends know damn well

Not only that, it has happened before where he had a female show him her nudes for a nude art book she made of herself. And fought me that it’s okay?.. she was the same woman who said “marriages don’t stand when someone has enough lust ” TO HIM

Not only that, there’s so many weird cases

Yet he pleads he loves me and wants to marry me.. I’m confused.

Like the relationship goes great until he starts talking to a random female he low-key wants to smash but denies.

I’m at a loss. He did a lot for me, including saving me from a killing by my family . I do believe he loves me but there seems no way to work on things when he fights instead

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/BurtMaclinsWife on 2023-10-01 15:03:55.

My husband and I have been arguing about the mental load I carry and his general “incompetence” for years now. I have tried gently to explain that he constantly half asses everything he does when it comes to caring for our children and our home. I’ve shown, explained, directed, made notes and lists and nothing works. I told him it feels like weaponized incompetence at this point and he seemed hurt. He says he “genuinely” doesn’t know what he is doing wrong. For example, yesterday was my day to sleep in (barely since my little one has baseball at 9am), so I got up to take a shower while he took care of the kids. He comes into the bathroom right after I get out and asks what little one needs to wear, I stood and stared at him in disbelief. Little one has been playing sports for the better part of 2 years and always wears nearly the same outfit. I asked him if he was serious and he instantly was offended. I said what would you wear to baseball? Trying get him to come to his own conclusion, but no, he continued to not have a clue what to dress our kid in. I finally caved and, with an attitude said, “a tshirt, shorts and a sweatshirt are you serious?” He was so upset because of my attitude he stormed out and said he just needed help and why can’t I be a nice normal person. I yelled back NOBODY TOLD ME WHAT HE NEEDED TO WEAR TO BASEBALL!!! I’m just so sick of feeling like I’m married to an imbecile or a manipulator. I just don’t know what to say anymore. This probably sounds mild but it’s just a constant barrage of “I don’t know how” or “where is this” or “I didn’t know”, or finding my jeans stuffed into my pajama drawer because he “DoEsNt kNoW wHeRe ThEy gO”. Even though I have kept them in the same drawer for 6 years. Ugh, just over it.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/forwardseat on 2023-10-01 14:27:54.

There's a new "hot coffee" lawsuit making the rounds, and a lot of people think it's hilarious, in an "OMG people will sue for anything" sort of way. A woman visiting Disney went down a waterslide and experienced an "injurious wedgie." Sounds funny right? Suing over a wedgie?

This woman had LACERATIONS. Likely permanent damage to her internal organs (her bowel was protruding through her abdominal wall, according to the suit). When she stood up to get off the slide she had blood pouring out her. These were serious injuries but every single article and story about the suit calls it a “wedgie”. And you know what? She is only suing for $50k and mostly wants Disney to make safety shorts available and warn guests more clearly about the risks and safety protocols. Almost every story about this calls it a “painful wedgie” and barely mentions the extent of her actual injuries. Comment sections everywhere are making fun of her, of course.

So ladies: cross your legs on water slides. There’s other things to take away from this, especially around how our culture treats female pain and gynecological injury, but…

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/oddchexmix on 2023-10-01 13:51:21.

My mom interrupted my sleep to complain about me wearing no bras. Asked me to give her a full explanation about why it's considered to be associated with whorish behavior. She doesn't give a full answer, but insists that you're looked upon as a prostitute ("street walker") in her home country and the United States.

Why do older women still insist that people care about whether they wear a bra or not?

There's more concerning matters like weirdos who harass you (whether you're braless or not), unequal work pay, and being able to pay rent next month.

Culture context: I'm from the US where older women generally badger their female relatives to wear one at home and/or going out.

Update: Corrected spelling and grammar.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/waterlust87 on 2023-10-01 06:32:43.

Recently my (36F) self-described feminist partner (33M) of 1.5 years has suddenly become defensive whenever we discuss anything feminism related that is slightly nuanced. He sends me social media content and asks questions that seem to be trying to poke holes in feminist theory, and expressing doubt when I’ve told him about sexist micro aggressions I’ve experienced recently (eg mansplaining type incidents, he says “yeah you were condescended to but how do you know it was because of gender?”). These conversations have escalated into arguments where he is angry and defensive and I am in tears because I feel like I am defending my humanity. I think at the root of it all, he thinks that I’ve been indoctrinated/radicalized by the extensive feminist literature I’ve read. He said that when you think you’re a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

I don’t know how to get him to understand that it’s been a lifetime of misogyny that radicalized me. I’ve had my achievements been minimized, been ignored, been dismissed, been humiliated, been assaulted, been fucking r*ped by men. My life experiences radicalized me. Feminism healed me by showing me that it wasn’t my fault. It gave me the context I needed to process my experiences and let go of the lifetime of shame and guilt that I held onto because of the things MEN did to ME. Feminism SAVED me.

I am so heartbroken that I’m in the position where I feel like it’s necessary to ask this question. But up until the past few weeks I would’ve told you we had an incredible relationship and bond. Now I’m honestly afraid I might need to walk away from this because I don’t trust him to fully understand me as a human being and to love me the way I need to be loved.

Any advice? I’d really really like to think I don’t have to end this. I want to build a life with him.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Bland_Boring on 2023-10-01 04:43:03.

BIG VENT; THANK YOU.

I'm on my way home. I heard on the radio that his team didn't make playoffs and I DREAD getting home.

Men are always complaining about women being emotional, or the classic "How is she going to close the deal if she gets her period?" type of bullshit that happens in the work place...

...but they conveniently pretend like there isn't an inordinate amount of assholery, emotional heaviness and emotional drama around their sports teams winning or losing that weighs on the whole family. I can't even stand being in the room with the utter despondence that I know I'm about to walk into. Their sports team winning or losing will determine the mood of the home for days, but men aren't emotional LOL.

B.S. What's even worse is that they're being emotional over nothing!

With baseball, their team will still play 162 games next year. ONE HUNDRED and SIXTY TWO GAMES IN ONE YEAR. but they still act like wittle babies. This double standard around emotions is gross.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Old_Calligrapher1563 on 2023-10-01 03:30:17.

I used to constantly wet the bed out of fear nightly until I was like 8 or so.

Since about 1 in 5 women are molested or assaulted by age 18 it's safe to say my reaction wasn't typical.

Did anyone else have extreme fear?

He for example, threatened mine and my mom's life if I told on him.

I also started peeing my pants in the 3rd grade because I was too afraid to go to the bathroom when we moved and I switched schools.

I had all kinds of extreme fears like of ghosts and stuff like that.

But I was also molested and he scared me too.

Did anyone else have more of an adverse reaction?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Moist_Policy_71 on 2023-10-01 02:10:01.

The second somebody whines about women speaking with vocal fry, it's a red flag. If you don't know what Vocal Fry is, it's that creaky, gravelly vocal tone that's been largely blamed on the Kardashians for "popularizing".

A million think pieces have been written about vocal fry becoming more prevalent in young women in recent years, how it's associated with ditzy, spoiled, rich girls in the publics mind and how numerous studies have proven you NEED TO UNLEARN IT ASAP if you speak like this because everyone hates you for it and you'll never be taken seriously in a professional context.

I have a deeper voice that falls into vocal fry very easily. It's not an affectation, it's just my natural speaking voice and I honestly see no reason why I should make an effort to change it.

What drives me nuts is that I have the female version of my uncle's voice. My uncle was a radio host who was inducted into the Radio Hall of Fame. This guy had a deep voice with intense vocal fry, but instead of being told he sounded stupid, annoying or unserious, he was able to create a career out of it. Nobody had a problem with it.

A lot of men have vocal fry in general. It becomes easier to fall into it the deeper your voice is, so naturally it's even more common in men. Noam Chomsky, Vin Diesel, Johnny Depp, Ira Glass, Bruce Willis, Tom Hardy, Howard Stern, Leonardo DiCaprio, Javier Bardem. All of them speak with oodles of vocal fry. Nobody writes think pieces about how they sound like annoying airheads.

...But you, lady-with-vocal-fry? You need to stop it immediately. For some reason.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/miahbutlerr on 2023-10-01 05:01:22.

I’m 21F and my bf 22M is normally in the mood more than me. We’ve been together for a year and years ago I used to want sex allllll the time but now I’m happy with once a day and even skipping a day sometimes. Today for example my family had a big thanksgiving dinner and I was super full and when I feel like that I don’t enjoy having sex. I was at my bfs and he tried to initiate sex and I told him this and said we could tomorrow. Over the course of watching a few episodes of our show he tried to initiate like 3 more times. Like trying to rub down there a few times or say “can I just give a lick” etc. which I’ve noticed he’s done this often when I don’t want to do it. I just got home and he sent me a text saying he wants sex and is asking if I can send him a tease. Normally I wouldn’t mind but I feel slightly annoyed. My bf is respectful and never gets mean or anything, he treats me good I just don’t like how he lowkey tries to convince me to have sex when I’ve already said I wasn’t in the mood. Am I overreacting?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/daisythrow on 2023-10-01 04:38:19.

I’m turning 28 in 2 months and god I hate it here!!! This is, by far, the worst developmental stage ever. I am one stressful life event away from taking a grippy sock vacation. I am physically the worst I’ve ever looked, I’m broke because I switched careers in 2020, I have zero friends, I have no idea who I am or what I want, and my mental health sucks. I live in a landlord special, old apartment because it’s the only thing I can afford in this expensive city that I don’t even like but I have to live in because this is the only place in the country where my partner can work in his field!

It seems like 85% of everyone I know is doing better than I am. I feel so lost and left behind. I feel like I had so many dreams that are just turning to dust (Sylvia Plath fig tree analogy, anyone?) the older I get. And the worst part is that I KNOW that I feel this way because of the insane expectations society puts on women combined with the fact that when you turn 30 as a woman, public opinion treats you as if your life is over.

I am so tired. I want to run away to live in a cabin in the middle of nowhere and throw my phone into the ocean. I want to wake up tomorrow and be 15 again with all the knowledge I have now. I want a different reality than the one I created for myself.

Can anyone else out there alone on this Saturday night relate? Lay it all out there and vent in the comments, friends💗