cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/22098369
(found this community more fitting because im a lesbian, also because I see people get downvoted a lot in advice communities despite being made for advice)
she’s just not a very active person online. when she is, shes only active in group chats with her friends.
usually, she talks about video games, and is actually offline because she plays video games almost all the time.
is there any way to salvage the relationship? she’s too focused on her interests to be interested in mine, and like I said, is almost always playing games so we barely talk aside from: “hi ❤️” “Hi sweetie ❤️” “hru??” “Good, just playing games, you?” “good :)) im listening to music” and then the conversation ends because she doesn’t message first and is busy with the other stuff.
(i have tried talking to her and she says she’s usually busy. shes either genuinely busy, busy with games, or in a bad mood and doesn’t feel like talking [sad/tired])
she either types
“oh!”
“…/.”
or
“erm what 😨” when i say smth
also, shes quite dry around me, often giving like one word responses and only being super energetic around her friends and when posting about video games.
idk if she’s actually just busy or making excuses, since shes usually talking to her friends or other partner (open relationships)
I feel the "consumed by video games to the exclusion of all else", one of the reasons I don't date is I don't think I could give a partner the time and attention they deserve and that it takes to make a relationship work. Also, I find it difficult to spend time with people without a shared activity to do. ADHD and/or other neurodivergent problems. Does she know you feel she's neglecting you?
idk, she seems to give her other partner attention and plays the games w her. they have the same opinions and interests so even tho my gf said she likes my interests, she never is actually interested in what i like :( only what she does
Hypothetical question for you. If she behaved like that when you first met her, would you want to date her? It sounds like she's no longer interested in you but isn't comfortable breaking it off or doesn't even really realize it herself. I'm not a good person for giving advice, so I won't, but ask yourself if your relationship with her is something you really want to continue.
no, not really, to be honest.
i dated her bc she paid attention to me and treated me right. we’d talk about our interests, she’d say she liked my interests and that my autistic ramblings are cute
she would sometimes talk abt movies or video games, i’d also take an interest in them.
we would pick out stuff that reminded us of our relationship
she’s kind of a “lgbt right winger” last time i heard and her gf somehow has the same interests as her, exact same opinions, plays the same games with her, and doesn’t respond outside the group chat just like her…
Either her girlfriend is extremely brainwashed too or the same person
WHAT?
Sorry. I used to be a Trumper (I didn’t like Clinton, that’s why), but this was back when I was straight, and I did somehow “advocate for LGBT rights”. Anyway, most genuine “LGBT” Trumpers either want an excuse and aren’t even part of that community, or just don’t like the Democratic candidate.
That then is your answer, friend. It's time to move on. It sucks, but it happens and it won't feel as bad later if you just end it now.