Technology
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You know, when I asked for a guillotine, this isn't exactly what I had in mind.
(is it okay to joke about this? hopefully it is, if not then I apologize)
He's a cop. Perfectly fine joke to make, in my opinion.
Cop loses his part of his thumb and suddenly he needs someone to help him to go the bathroom, shower, brush his teeth, get dressed... and how has great difficulties with doing chores like laundry and washing dishes. Yeah, right-- this guy's just looking for a payday.
While I'm here, I'd like to point out that it's pretty interesting that a chief deputy rolls around in a 2020 Mercedes SUV that starts at $60k USD. Must be nice. Cop gets his thumb stuck in his gaudy luxury SUV's door and now he needs his wife to wipe his ass after taking a shit? Fucking please, give me a break. This is peak America.
Since he's a pig, inherently a bad person, seems likely he's making stuff up and playing the system to his advantage. At least his community is slightly safer with him slowed down some
Tbf that's how the system works as far as I'm aware. You start off going for as much as you possibly can and the defense will try and bring it down and make a deal.
also
feels like a really weird train of thought
Are we going to pretend cop culture isn't rife with corruption and officers turning a blind eye to all kinds of heinous cover ups?
No?
So why would you say it's a weird train of thought for someone to consider a cop to be inherently a bad person who likely is making up stuff?