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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/CaptPickul on 2024-01-23 06:27:53+00:00.
On mobile forgive any errors. I (m) (ages don’t matter), work in the disability industry in a group home. We recently had a new worker join our house (f, not new to industry). I have worked with her on two shifts. First shift I thought she was fantastic, fresh faced, bubbly and attentive; everything you need in a coworker. Second shift she was shut in the office with the door closed for an hour and 20 minutes after I started my shift. The rest of the shift was her on her phone, quiet, barely talking to clients and staff, moving between the office, lounge rooms and kitchen. She was entirely unapproachable and reserved and did not communicate what she needed if anything. She is also very frequently calling in sick to many shifts - I don’t have an issue with using personal leave, but our industry is very understaffed so finding replacements is difficult; so I now see her as unreliable. Among the rest of the staff we talk about everything, other staff included, everyone talks about everyone; it’s just the way the industry is. We all want to know what everyone else’s experience is with each other so we can aim to work better, and also to know if they are good to the clients. Anyway it got back to her that I was “gossiping” about her, and she took great offence, called our manager crying etc. Keep in mind we all talk about each other. More context is that I have never bought her up in a conversation, as I don’t know her well enough to initiate any conversation about her with others. But when I’m in that situation I talk about my experience with her; the positive and negative; always my truth. So now I’m in mediation with her and my manager and I want to know if what I did is deserving of an apology. However, I do not believe it’s possible for me to only not talk about her in conversations involving other staff when we talk. So AITA that I talked about her with my other coworkers?