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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/LeatherDonut8436 on 2024-01-22 19:34:07+00:00.
Original Title: AITA for consistently asking to exchange the gifts that my brother gets me, as well as, wanting to exchange a drone he got me for Christmas? My family has called me selfish, inconsiderate, and ungrateful everytime
For the past three years, my brother (25 M) and I (22 M) have exchanged Christmas/B-day gifts. We live in Canada and with the housing crisis, moving out isn't really an option. This year, he surprised me with a drone. I Spent $100 on a white Nike cap, brown Raptors Toque, Hat Organizer, and Leafs lanyard. He's always stressed about misplacing his hats and wants more of my style.
I was shocked when I opened the drone gift. I was also worried that it was very expensive, so I asked how much he spent. He reassured me that he spent a similar amount.
However, I couldn't shake off the disappointment and anxiety, as I felt the drone wasn't something I'd use. I feel like he always gets me things that he wants for himself. My brother admitted in front of me, my mom, and his girlfriend that the gifts he buys me are also something he can wear and use.
I acted happy and grateful but my girlfriend sensed my discomfort, knowing this is something my brother would love and that I’ve never shown any interest in.
Some Examples (you could skip this):
- He gave me bright Red 550 New Balances. He already has the exact same for himself in blue “he liked both so much and couldn’t pick so he got the red ones for me” - I eventually asked for a receipt to make an exchange, no receipt and he has worn them.
- One b-day he gave me Purple Vans with a “One Piece” design (this is his favourite anime). I enjoy the show but I've NEVER worn anything like this (I have a very minimalistic style, I can provide a link to the shoes). This 100% was something he wanted for himself (no receipt provided). At the time, I felt really bad bc I knew I wouldn't wear the shoes and he would notice. I thanked him for the gift but told him how I felt. I then asked him to keep the vans (he was very happy and wears them everyday), while I kept my gift to him - a custom “One Piece” poster of his favourite character (he wanted posters for his room this year).
For the past 3 years it's just been more of the same. I feel he doesn't put in effort, I ask for a receipt, and my family calls me ungrateful. While my gifts are always so personal to him.
My girlfriends noticed this trend and how increasingly rude he's been with me over the years. I don't feel close with him - like she does with her younger brother (4 years apart, we're 3). My gf asked me to make this post bc I've been extremely conflicted
My parents call me ungrateful. Sometimes I think my brother gets me stuff he likes, thinking I'd like it too. However, it's difficult to communicate with my brother. He reacts angrily to simple requests for advice. He says he's a responsible older brother but I don’t even feel close with him. I can give more examples of other shitty things he does
So, am I being the asshole by always asking for a receipt? And would I be the asshole again, if I ask to return the drone? I know that it will cause an argument/greater rift between us, and how my parents would react.