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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/thenileindenial on 2024-01-23 20:55:14+00:00.
A brief context: my (33M) family thought I was crazy when I applied for art school 15 years ago, and some of my aunts made openly snarky remarks when I decided to specialize in make-up design (with the risk of sounding judgmental, they were all born and raised in a small town with backward values, and the thought of me - A MAN! - becoming a make-up artist was more than they could handle without making some "scandalous" assumptions about my sexual orientation).
Now I’m steadily working as a VFX make-up artist and my resume includes a list of independent movies and mainstream TV productions. That line of work led me to meet and interact with some famous people here and there. But what I just realized when I went back home for my mother’s (60F) birthday is that she is actively “showing me off” to our family and her friends, always mentioning some famous person I got to meet as a conversation starter.
I asked her (in private, not in front of her guests) not to do that; it makes me uncomfortable and it leads to people asking for juicy stories that I’m not willing to share. My mother says she was just proud of me and there’s no harm in her talking about my “success” (her words, not mine – I never called myself successful). I got the feeling that she also wants to rub my career in her sisters' faces (the ones who so loudly criticized my choices) - if that's the case, this is something she is doing for her own reasons, because I don't care about that and don't need my mother to defend me.
I told her all of that, and to make sure she understood I was serious, I said I wouldn't go back home so soon if that's what I have to deal with when I'm there. Later, she told my father (62M) about our talk, and he told me she was very upset that I called her out over a simple “proud mama” behavior. Was I the AH to say anything? Maybe I should just let her have her fun.