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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/mysterious_flea on 2024-01-23 12:38:38+00:00.
My (20m) girlfriend (19f) have hit an obstacle regarding 2 upcoming events next week Wednesday. On Wednesday I have a concert which I bought tickets for during December last year, around then i also told my girlfriend that I would be attending this event and that I am very excited for it. However, a week ago, we were at an event and my gf saw a reminder of my phone for the upcoming concert and she said that she had a performance showcase coming up (she does the performing arts) and turns out that it is taking place on the exact same Wednesday night next week. i was made aware of the showcase in question at the beginning of this year, however the specific date was never really mentioned until the notif. my concert goes from 8pm-12am and her showcase has 2 events with the times ranging from 8-9pm and 9-10pm
i asked yesterday what was going on next wednesday for clarification. she asked if i would be able to ditch my concert to attend her showcase which i outright refused since i thought it was unfair for me to flake on an event which i had booked prior to finding out about her showcase. then she asked if i would be able to at least come late to the concert to attend the 8-9pm event so i can at least see her performing on stage, which i refused. she got upset about it and compared it to an infant child in school performing and being sad because they can't see their parents in the crowd and how i was the mean parent not being there for their child. at the event im going to partake in recreational drugs which is preventing me from driving; IF i had my car it would be alot easier to drive to the venue after her showcase which wouldve made it viable
now she is claiming that i am ditching her to do drugs and that if i really supported her i would at least try to compromise by coming to this concert a few hours later. to be clear; i understand just how important performing arts is to my girlfriend and i am extremely supportive of all of her endeavours and love her very dearly HOWEVER I have been looking forward to this concert for a very long time and transportation arrangements have already been made; everything would be knocked out of wack and i would be very stressed attempting to get to the venue in time. so now i feel like im at an ultimatum; choose my gf or this concert
my girlfriend is extremely upset and i feel terrible because i wont be able to support her on her big night. she insists that this is a once-in-a-lifetime experience and that my concert would always be available next year and the year after that etc. i think that we are both at fault for communication issues; i should've asked for the date of her showcase much earlier and she should've told me much earlier to keep the day free
i feel terrible for not being able to support my girlfriend on her special day but at the same time its not my fault that she made me aware of this showcase until recently
AITA for not compromising my concert plans to attend my girlfriend's showcase?