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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AffectionateBake4034 on 2024-01-23 17:46:42+00:00.
To preface: Me (31F) and my husband (33M) had our daughter Mary (16F) at a very young age. She was an accident and it was very hard at first, but we managed to raise a wonderful young lady.
In middle school, Mary had a best friend Dan (16M). They were really close and since we’re neighbors, we encouraged them to hang out together.
However as they started high school, Dan started running with the wrong crowd. He befriended a kid who would sneak out, drink, engage in destructive activities. Together they started bullying Mary. Since then I have some sort of a slow beef with Dan’s mom (44F). We are on speaking terms, but things are somewhat rough between us. I personally consider her parenting style a little too lax, she thinks I'm being too strict.
It escalated when this kid pissed in Mary’s car’s gas tank. To say I was fuming was an understatement. I turned into a full-blown momzilla. I was ready to sue his whole family, luckily it didn’t happen since his mom was cooperative and compensated for the damage. I also told Dan’s mom that her kid’s friend destroyed my daughter’s property. No reaction.
Obviously, things escalated further. Dan and his friend committed a felony. To be honest, it was expected of his friend, but the fact that Dan was an accomplice shocked me deeply. He’s a gentle and kind guy and it was horrible that he fell under bad influence. Dan’s mom was shocked as well, but to be honest it was something that she could expect after finding out that her kid got under bad influence, doing nothing about it, buying him substances so he could share with his friends. We live in CO btw, but still weed isn't something I'd introduce my child to.
That was what I openly told her after she complained about “how come my precious baby commit a felony” and “how did you manage to make Mary avoid the sketchy stuff”. I told her that if she was slightly stricter with her parenting, she’d avoid Dan having legal troubles now. She told me that I’m being hypocritical since I did quite an amount of stupid stuff in my youth too. I did, and I’m not proud of it. But I’ve never touched substances and I’ve never committed a felony. I took the responsibility and accepted the consequences and managed to raise a decent human being who won’t repeat my mistakes.
I’m an insightful person and I’ve been thinking now whether it was worth it to drag the conflict for all this time and escalating it into an open confrontation.