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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Wizgod007 on 2024-01-23 20:25:48+00:00.
I (54M) and my wife (44F) have a 4 bedroom home - 3 on the second floor and one in the basement. On the second floor our 9 year old sleeps in the master bedroom with us in her own twin bed. My wife's parents are in one bedroom while my 19 year old is in the other room.
My 9 year old has been telling us that she want's her own room for some time now but upgrading to a new house with more bedrooms is not an option with the finances and current house price and housing prices in general.
The bedroom in the basement is my home office (I'm an applications developer) which also has access to the boiler/furnace room. The furnace room contains all network hardware as well as 3 servers. The space in the room is completely taken up by 2 additional servers, 2 development machines and 8 monitors, filing cabinets, and accessories (printer, etc.). The basement is the only area that is wired in the house with CAT6 network cable. This information is just to show that I cannot move the office anywhere else in the house.
My wife just told me that we will give the master bedroom to my 9 year old and that we would go sleep in the basement since we only need it to sleep - most likely on a mattress on the floor. The king bed in the master bedroom has a mattress specifically for my back issues so sleeping in the basement will require me to get another mattress. I told her that wasn't an option and that a 9 year old shouldn't have a master bedroom all to herself.
The basement contains two other larger areas that are used for the pool room/collectibles and a theatre room. The pool room is small - not even big enough to shoot from the sides (have to use the short TroubleShooter cue) and the theatre room is rectangular but not very wide. If I were to create a hallway from the stairs to the office to try to turn either into another bedroom, there wouldn't be enough useable space to be used as a bedroom.
I can't move the in-laws into their own place not just because of finances but culturally it's not an option.
Anyways, I told my wife no way that was going to happen and she told me I was being stubborn.
I look forward to suggestions for solutions but AITA?
Edit: I should note that we know the daughter needs her privacy and being in the same room is not the best and we have been trying to come up with solutions. One of the problems for making a room in the basement is that she is afraid of being alone downstairs and is not willing to do so.
Edit 2: The issue is not that I am not willing to give up the pool/theatre rooms for my daughter, I am, and I have suggested it to my wife. The problem there is neither wants to move downstairs.