Hi-end Xiaomi router, they have WiFi ax and enough ram and support open wrt so you can host your things on it, better yet, do DIY router on orange pi board, there's tutorials you can follow
Selfhosted
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I have a Netgate 3100 that I bought used. Workes fine and at full speed with my 1000/1000Mbit connection.
I can kind of recommend Firewalla. They run all open source software under the hood, but their UI is their own. I'm not super impressed with some of the decisions they've made, but it works and has almost every feature a firewall/router device needs.
Things I like
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VPN client support with selective VPN routing. Beats having to manually maintain a routing table for a VPN interface.
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SSH access with sudo to root
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comes with an Ad blocker, but can run pihole in a docker container. I find the onboard ad blocker paired with NextDNS via TLS is good enough.
Things I don't like:
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UI is a phone app. WebUI is neutered. You will require all three (SSH included) to set up any advanced configs
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SSH access is a pain to use.
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Firewall rule creation is kind of a nightmare. I can see what they were going for, but they missed.
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You can't easily configure the onboard IDS or Adblocker. You can dive into the filesystem if you want, but I don't wanna.
I find DrayTek devices to work quite well.