Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Jimi_Mayne on 2023-12-28 18:19:39+00:00.

AITA: I am on holiday and I am spending a few days at my GF's apartment. While my GF was at work today I cleaned the dust off of everything in her front room, vacuumed and mopped the floor (even under the and behind furniture), and cleaned the heater so that it is no longer an eye-sore. Once I was done cleaning, I returned everything to its original l position.

After she came home from work, she thanked me, but thenentioned that the carpet and an end-table were not in the correct position. She then gave me a speech about how she hates it when I move things, told me that she didn't ask me to clean, and then stared that I won't be able to move furniture in our joint apartment because it has real wood floors.

I told her that I was just trying to be nice. She then stared that we are moving in a few weeks and that I don't need to clean anything anyways. Am I the asshole somehow?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Inevitable_Archer_79 on 2023-12-28 18:19:01+00:00.

So me and my best friend are using our new M3 Macs which are the same which we bought together and he spills a whole cup of coffee with milk on mine. I have maybe double the income that he has. Is it ethical and fair to ask him to give me his Macbook and I give him mine? My heart has shattered, I have only had it for a month💔

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Particular-Country-7 on 2023-12-28 18:17:41+00:00.

My Boyfriend 40m and myself 28f live together, own a farm together, and run a business together. Yesterday was his birthday. This entire past month has been extremely stressful with our business, and we were looking forward to the holiday and just relaxing at home.

This entire past month I’ve been getting frustrated and resentful about our work schedule and how the house chores are split. I tend to make and keep track of the work schedule, and handle all customer communication, and keep things on track. He however is chronically late. Also lately almost all the house work is falling on me this holiday season. I spent the entire Christmas holiday cooking and cleaning up without his help and I and don’t feel like I got a break. The 27th is his birthday and I did my best to make it a good one even though he just wanted to stay home. I asked him to do the dishes for me the night before to make the next day easier for me since I wasn’t going to ask him to do any chores on his birthday. The next morning when I got up the dishes were still in the sink much to my annoyance.

I made him a tiramisu and we had a nice birthday dinner for him at home. Last night I then cleaned the entire kitchen (including the dishes he never did for me the night before) and I started to feel pretty annoyed and aggravated because my back is sore from leaning over the sink cleaning and cooking the entire past week, and my fingers are cracked and peeling from all the dishes (we don’t have a dishwasher). I can’t help but feel I wouldn’t be so frustrated if he were doing more of his part, and I’m tired of asking him to do chores and still finding them not done the next day. I ended up mentioning it and asking if we could clean the house together tomorrow, or if we were going back to work, and I couldn’t get a serious conversation out of him because he was tipsy and had been drinking beers all evening. Eventually he called me as asshole for bringing it up on his birthday and he slept on the couch.

To be fair me insisting on having the house clean is something I’ve only more recently become insistent on because I now see how much more productive it allows us to be. He had been complaining about us living in a somewhat messy house in the past so I’ve started trying to be better about chores, but I’m realizing now that I don’t think he was ever doing his part even when he was complaining about the messiness more often.

Am I the asshole for bringing up chores and work on his birthday?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Which_Ad_5787 on 2023-12-28 18:12:43+00:00.

so we have a friend group getting together at city X for new years, a 5 hour drive from our home town. 2 of our friends live there now, and the other friend (we’ll call her sarah) and I will go back home after.

sarah and I are similar in that we have both totaled our cars before lol. but she hasn’t driven as many far destinations since her accident, and she’s had like 3 smaller ones as well. so driving 10 hours total with her kinda makes me nervous.

I have airline privileges thanks to my mom, so it’s honestly very easy and preferred for me to fly to this destination. I wish I had a buddy pass to give to sarah, but I don’t.

I never 100% agreed to drive up with sarah, but I guess it was implied. she told me she’d prefer I at least drive up with her, i’m not sure if she’s as comfortable realizing she would do the entire drive alone. I don’t want to upset her but I also feel much safer with my life flying there.

WIBTA to still fly to and from?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Brownssuperbowleasy on 2023-12-28 18:09:01+00:00.

I called off of work today cause I think I have Covid and my mom's been driving my grandpas truck to work because her car broke down. Today she asked me if she could drive my car to work and I said no I'm sorry because I know she's not a good driver and has crashed/totaled multiple cars. I got this car 4 years ago and have been paying for it monthly it's in fairly good condition so I don't want the risk of someone wrecking my car and not myself. I work a full time job and would not be able to drive to my job if she did wreck it. She still has access to my grandpas truck I just think she'd rather not drive it. So Aita for not letting her drive my car

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/newschoolsupplies on 2023-12-28 18:00:50+00:00.

I (13f) mostly live with my brother, his wife, and their kids (2, 3, 6, 8). Technically my mom has custody of me but they have 14 people in a 2 bedroom house and I don't have my own bed so I try not to go there.

I don't know if my brother's rich but if you ask for something he'll probably get it and I have my own room (it's technically his wife's office but she's usually done with it by the time I get off the bus and she moves her stuff off the desk so I can use it). I try not to ask my brother for too much stuff because I feel bad but a lot of my clothes and school supplies are really old and don't fit and he asked if I want new stuff a few times and I always said no but I finally said yes and he got me new clothes and a backpack and lunchbox and mechanical pencils and gel pens and pretty notebooks and everything and it wasn't even my Christmas present.

Some of my siblings and cousins go to the same school as me and they saw my new stuff and they asked where I got it from and I said my brother got it for me and now my moms mad at my brother because he got me nice stuff and not her other kids and she's threatening to make me go back to her so I wanted to know if I was wrong for letting him get me new stuff.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/heretoread369 on 2023-12-28 17:58:52+00:00.

Little background story. My parents just met and started their life together,2 months later my mother found out that she is pregnant. She was really young(21) and did not want a child(me). If it wasn't for my father mother to stop her, she would ab*rt me.

But here I am, 20 years later with a life long trauma, divorced parents and damaged for my whole life. When she gave birth to me she got postpartum depression and did not get any help as she was too scared to ask for one.

Everyone spoke for her, her opinion did not matter and she just gave up. She blamed me, so she would be absive towards me, kick me out of the house. She also became an alchcolic and nictine addct. Whenever she was without some of those things I was the one to blame and get beat*n.

I had no one, my father was working all the time and when I told him he thought he cleared that up with my mother,but no. He went to work for 3 months and she made sure that I'm gonna pay back for telling,since then I never spoke about that until they split up.

It's been 10yrs, I've moved on(kinda) and finally found the right one. My mother also got married(recently) and found out that she has uterine fibroids. Even tho everyone says that is normal I have that gut feeling that tells me is not normal. She has received chemotherapy and is scheduled for surgery in 2 weeks. That is what scared me,because if includes chemotherapy and surgery it is serious.

We rarely hear from each other and I never start the conversation first, but she does. Although she was a bad mother (not her fault), I want that contact with her. She sent me a request and I can see that she has lost a lot of weight and is not well.

I love her still, but I can't forget all that. She never said sorry to me and I still forgave her. What is the right thing to do?

So, WIBTA if I don't accept it?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Present-Nobody-5661 on 2023-12-28 17:57:27+00:00.

I (17M) live in a living group for teenagers and young adults. There are six of us, all 17 years old. We live in three flats, two on the same floor, one on another that therefore needs another key to enter. Everyone has their own room and I live in one of the two on the same floor. The flat I live in got a washing machine, the other one a dryer. The flat on the other floor also got a washing machine. Because for a time my parents couldn't really feed me well, I've got some stomach issues.

So a few months ago, another girl, "Vera" (17F), entered the picture. She's got ADHD and autism and she likes to use it as an excuse whenever she needs it. Because of her behaviour, she already got into fights with the other teenagers. Especially if it's about forgetting stuff, she likes to say that she has ADHD and then doesn't clean properly because she forgets it.

Now, a few weeks ago, I was sitting on the toilet in my flat and watching YouTube on my phone. I heard her entering the flat (she lives in the other flat across the hall, the one with the dryer). She tried going into the bathroom but I was there. So she decided to sit in front of the door until I'd come out. Because I've just went into the bathroom, it took me maybe about 15 minutes. So I wash my hands, go out and she's sitting there, on the floor, mad. She asks me if I watched YouTube and I said yes. She started yelling at me that some people want to do their laundry and that I block the bathroom and that I'm a bad person for not looking after others and that she's got better things to do than sit on the floor and wait for me. I told her that I didn't force her to sit on the floor and that she just could've gone back to her room and she said: "I've got ADHD."

She then proceeded to shove her laundry into the washing machine angrily and took off.

Since this happened, she's always passive aggressive towards me. I tried talking to her but she demanded that I ask her if she wants to do laundry before I go to the toilet and stomped away and I couldn't even finish a sentence. The social workers that look out for us said that they cannot take any sides, only a room to talk things through.

So, AITA for blocking the bathroom?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Illustrious_Wear_561 on 2023-12-28 17:56:00+00:00.

I'm a 25 year old female, currently 8 months pregnant with my first baby. I have a full time corporate job that is very demanding and find myself working overtime everyday during peak times. However I work 80% at home with flexibility around when to complete my work (day or night ). The father of my child also works full time- at the office, we stay together and he has been 100% supportive throughout the pregnancy. He also has every intention to raise baby together as a family.

Now when I told my parents that I was pregnant, they were happy and excited for this new addition to our family. The problem is that my mom automatically assumed that she would take care of baby while I'm at work since I work long hours and she and dad both agreed on this..I'm probably the asshole here because I did not voice my opinion. For context around why I kept quiet, I was raised in a very strict setup, was never allowed to voice my opinion and was taught that my father makes the decisions at home. As an adult I've struggled a lot to stand up for myself, even went to therapy to try an unpack the underlying issues. My dad fits all traits of a narcissist, and my mom goes with it 100% of thr time. My mom also was hestybrokem when my sister took her first daughter away to raise herself ( mom raised the child from birth while my sister went to college) , she cried amd made it all about her.

Me on the other side would like to raise my son, my very first baby myself with his father. There is a lot that I am still trying to overcome from the way they raised me, I do not want to subject my son to the same issues. Amd I just want to be there for him from day 1 ,no matter how tough.

The issue is that I do not know how to best break the news to my mom, will I be TAH if I tell her it's not gonna happen and possibly "break her heart"?

Also important, my parents stay like 4.5 hours away from where we're staying and I'm only able to go home on long weekends ,probably 4 times a year. So leaving my son there does not make sense, I don't want him to grow up without me. We discussed this with my partner and having a day nanny is on the cards.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/anxious-wreck on 2023-12-28 17:53:10+00:00.

I (26M) have a drinking problem and I am aware of it. My sister (29F) trauma dumps on me because we have an alcoholic mother. She makes me feel horrible, I have no energy after talking to her because every single day I'm there for her. I hold her when she needs it, I talk her out of her triggers, I support her on everything, but all she does is criticize me, monitors me and scans my room to see if there's a drink somewhere.

I get that she cares, but I'm not a trash can for her to trauma dump everyday (it is everyday) and talk shit about our mom, victimize herself and act like nobody helps her or understands her (like hello I'm literally here), and the topic is always around our mom and how my sister is a poor victim. She doesn't realize she manipulates us so much and uses us to her convenience.

I know I have a drinking problem and I'm working on it as hard as I can but it's so hard. It makes it even worse when she bombards me with the topic, it makes me want to drink more and I've told her that. I want to tell her to stop, that she's being an emotional vampire and that she's manipulating me, to please just fucking stop because I'm not stupid and I'm doing my best to navigate through life.

Like, please let me work on myself, stop controlling me, stop monitoring me, it harms me. I'm on the verge of tears typing this because I love her so much but she's acting like a burden.

AITA for wanting to tell her to stop harassing me?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRAfaory on 2023-12-28 17:51:53+00:00.

I (f22) live with my partner (m29). We both work from home with jobs that are well paying but can be stressful at times, most days we both have multiple meetings. I work in sales so when I’m on a call a lot of the time commission is on the line.

Two months ago we had new neighbours move in upstairs. Immediately we were overwhelmed with how much noise they were making. My partner went up to let them know that we would appreciate it if they could try being quieter as we both work from home and she told him it was their washing machine. Unless their washing mashing grew legs and was training for a marathon it was not their washing machine. Since then I have been up 4 times to ask them to keep the noise down in a very understanding manner. Each time we are ignored and it continues. They have a child around 3 but it’s from 7am to about 1am the noise and it’s definitely not a child all the time but I get how a child can make a lot of noise

Today I snapped. All day it was relentless. It’s so loud at times our flat shakes like they are jumping off of furniture. I went up and I said I didn’t expect this to be the time they learn to respect their neighbours but we are going to be moving because of it and they better hope that whoever moves in has the patience of a saint. He said that it’s the child and I said “I don’t care, I don’t have kids so I don’t think I should have to listen to yours in my own home” this is where I think I may have been rude but it’s how I felt at the time. AITA

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Boring_Letterhead254 on 2023-12-28 17:48:57+00:00.

My fiancé (24M) has a best friend who recently got engaged. I (26F) cannot stand his fiancé.

She’s been very mean, demanding, & extremely bossy to the best friend. Not letting him play xbox with my fiancé is one reason of many. They share a room in her father’s home. The best friend works out of state every week & only comes home on weekends. She doesn’t work, only goes to nursing school. She destroys the room during the week and demands he cleans it when he gets home. She will cut the dogs hair and demands he cleans up the mess. Those are just a few examples. She tells him he has no responsibilities.

Shes grown up with a silver spoon and hasn’t had to work for anything. Granted, she’s in nursing school which is a lot of work, but it’s also not a job, yet. Every chance she gets, she likes to bring up Daddy’s Money. I’ve done things on my own from a very young age & wasn’t blessed with using my parents money for anything. It doesn’t bug me that she receives help as many people do. Times are hard & I take help as often as i can get it. But what drives me crazy is that she is constantly bringing it up. I’ve known the best friend for some time & i’m very comfortable with expressing my opinions to him (he isn’t really my friend, just my fiancés) I told him, her talking about her financial business is really annoying & i wish she wouldn’t. The next time we saw them she brought up how she “only buys $20 shoes from walmart” & refuses to spend more than $12 on wine. It felt like she was pretending to be poor to make me feel better.

She’s also very tone deaf. The 4 of us were taking about our younger selves & old drug habits. She brought up her love of c0ke & i said “i used to love it until it almost killed me” with an uncomfortable tone, hoping she would get the point. Nevertheless, she continued to drag on & on about her love of the drug. I just changed the subject. She nudged several times that she wanted to be a bridesmaid but wasn’t quite understanding that i didn’t want that. She knows my bridesmaids are in pink and she said she wanted to wear pink to the wedding. I told her (since she was asking my opinion) I’d rather her not as that’s the color my bridesmaids are in. I also have issues with people touching me unless i am VERY close with them. Especially hugging. We have all told her multiple times i am uncomfortable with her hugging me every time she sees me. She still forces me into a hug.

Shortly after that they got engaged. The best friend said he would buy our plane tickets (the lives 15 hrs away) to the wedding. My fiancé is the best man so he has to go, & he wants to. Neither of us think they should be getting married but that isn’t our place.

I told my fiancé i’m not going to the wedding & to tell the friend to not buy my plane ticket. I told him “he isn’t really my friend so i don’t have to support it” My fiancé wants me to go because he doesn’t want to go with me, which i understand. He’s upset that i’m refusing to go.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/my_mom_hella_gay on 2023-12-28 17:48:37+00:00.

I’m living with my gf and her parents and lil sister. I have been for just bout a year now. My gfs sister is 8, is homeschooled, and very spoiled. I help cook, clean, and care for this child. Today I walk into the living room and see that the mess from last night is still there. This wouldn’t bug me but we are trying to get rid of cockroaches… I see that there is an open nacho lunchable that has maybe three bites eaten out of it, a gallon sized jug of tea on the floor, multiple towels on the floor and couch, socks all over the floor, just a mess, ya know? So I look at my gfs sis who just got up from her seat and paused the video on her laptop, I asked her “hey, can you help me clean up this mess?” She looked up at me ( she’s been getting more of an attitude recently) raised her voice at me and pretty much hissed at me “I was gonna get to it!!” I’ve been getting so tired of her attitude. I mean, she helped make the mess, it’s only fair she help pick it up. I said “hey, I was just asking for help, if you’re gonna be mean to me, I’m not gonna ask for your help anymore “. Apparently that hurt her feelings cause when I came back to my room after cleaning the mess by myself, I could hear her mom SCREAMING that if I act like this I should stay in my f**king room, and she’s tired of the child being harassed. Did I harass the child by asking for help and finally stepping up and saying that I’m done with the attitude? Am I the asshole? How bad did I mess up?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/shsnnsjsnxn on 2023-12-28 17:46:29+00:00.

my partner and i are coming up on 5 years with eachother, and will be starting the new year living together for the first time (slow start i know, we are both 21).

i always struggle with what to get him for birthdays or holidays. he is someone who always buys himself what he wants, and he is also someone who hates new things. he has a fear of “ruining” anything new and so he rarely even uses what he buys for himself. he is the type of person who shines his shoes every time he puts them on. this isnt a complaint, i love his personality. its just an insight into what he is like.

i feel like i always miss the mark getting him gifts. if i get him something nice and hand crafted and personalized, he wont use it out of his fear. if i get him something big he could use (ie. desk chair) he isnt happy with it but wont let me return it. if i get him something small, i shouldnt have because he put so much thought into what he gets me and it feels to him like i didnt.

for some more context, i do my best to make a list for myself with both big and small gifts each year. he has never once been able to get me a list. ive been bugging him for 2 months to make one this year. nothing. he ended up getting me one of my big gifts, a pair of real earrings. i havent been able to wear earrings for a long time since i developed an allergy to “fake” metals.

ive been out of work for a few months due to a really bad mental health episode and am working with a really tight budget, i got him a 1L jar of steak spice that i knew he liked. each time he comes to my house he buys huge steaks for him and my dad to share, and douses it in this specific spice we have. his parents dont let him cook at all.

like i said, we will be moving in together and the leaser has left us a barbecue which he has expressed often that he is VERY excited to use. i saw the steak spice and thought about how often he would be cooking. all the dinners we would make and all the memories we would create. i felt it was very symbolic of our new life together.

needless to say, he was very dissappointed. he said that although he understands my thought behind the gift, he felt this year that even people who dont know him that well were able to get him something “closer to the mark of who he is”, and he would have been happier with a tshirt from one of the brands he likes. does that not sound equal to what i got? i am just genuinely confused and at a loss of what to do or what i should have done. im not upset with him, i know the feeling all too well of feeling like people close to me put no effort into getting something i would like. i told him i would make it up to him once i start working again. at this point i dont want to get him anything until he gives me a list.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Inner_You_5373 on 2023-12-28 14:39:11+00:00.

My (20f)'s aunt (40s-Kate) is a self-proclaimed 'cool mum'. We're talking like the 'wet ass pizza' mum but all. the. time. It never stops.

She's obsessed with 'looking cool' for her daughter's friends (who are 16 and 17) but acts pretty inappropriately. Many of Lucy's friends (my cousin) aren't allowed over anymore after Kate sang that '1 margarita' song to them. Lucy confided in me that word gets around and people's parents don't want their kids to go to hers.

Lucy and her younger brother are pretty jaded as a result and are cold to their mother who cannot take the hint. She came over on boxing day and was complaining about her kid's social lives. She said they rarely see their friends anymore and it's worrying her that maybe it's their rude attitudes.

My mum gave me a look that said 'say nothing' but I said 'do you think it's maybe the fact that you try to embarrass them at every opportunity? They're cold because you've ruined their reputations by being the 'crazy cool mum'.

My mum told me to leave the room and her and Kate went outside a few minutes later. After 20 minutes, they left and my mum was not happy with me. She told me to text Kate to apologise because she's very upset.

AITA for telling her the truth?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Nahruu on 2023-12-28 14:29:15+00:00.

Before starting: I write this for a friend who doesn't use reddit much. I will still write in first person to make it clearer for you all.

A little bit of context: I (23F) do horse riding as a hobby/sport and I have a friend (26M) at the stable that I know for around 1 year but we started to practice together and hang out only few months ago. It is purely friendly, no flirt here.

For Christmas, we both decided to exchange gifts. We did go to a horse riding store together and I found him a 25€ gift (it is supposed to be a "small" gift)

For my gift, my friend knew I was looking for a new helmet (my current one is still my teenage helmet). It appears that my head doesn't fit standard shaped helmet, so only one helmet was really fitting me in the store. My friend then offered to give it to me for Christmas.

But here is the problem: I checked the price, and the helmet costs 300€. I said that I'm not comfortable with that and that it is way too much to be a "small" gift between friends. He argued that I currently need a new helmet and that it is the main safety element when practicing horseriding, you should not count the money when choosing the right helmet and so on. I told him that I will buy this helmet myself later when I have the money to afford it (I could have buy it myself in January). But he insisted, took the helmet and moved towards the checkout while keeping to tell me that he is happy to give me this specific helmet, that I shouldn't even have checked the price because it is a gift. I didn't want us to get angry inside the store, so I told him that I will buy the helmet myself now (even if it is not the best timing for me, I am still able to afford it now). At the checkout, he paid everything because he has some premium membership in the store so he get a 10% discount on every items. I asked for the receipt to do a bank transfer of what I owe him (the 25€ for the item I gave him for Chrismas, and the 300€ for the helmet) when at home. He got a little angrier on this last statement and told me that if I pay for the helmet, he will block the transfer with his bank.

Fast forward to now: I'm currently at my house and I messaged him telling that I refuse such an expensive gift but that I'm okay to split the bill so he still offers me a part of the helmet, but not the whole price. He finally "agreed", but he remains unclear about the sharing of the price and told me that if I repay him too much, he will refuse it because he maintains his initial point of view which is he wants to offer me the helmet entirely, even if it costs 300€ and that he knows I'm not comfortable with that.

How much should I pay for the helmet? All of it? Split in half? Pay 275€ so he would be paying 25€ of it, which is the amount I spent to get his gift?

AITA for repaying him a part of the price/the whole price of his gift? Should I just accept the gift entirely, without considering the price?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ok_Inevitable_1170 on 2023-12-28 14:28:05+00:00.

So,

I 23y/o Male, was with my girlfriend 24y/o, out shopping.

We had probably been to 15 different shops by this point being there for 2/2.5 hours, I have not problem with the shopping or time but I was suffering with stomach ache which I do almost 80% of the day everyday

because I have stomach issues I’m constantly needing the bathroom and now I feel guilty taking a poo

We ended up running into my Gfs friends, which one of them seems to not like me for some reason but gf can’t see it.

So I used this opportunity whilst she was talking to go to the bathroom, I get back to her probably 10 minutes later and her friends were saying goodbye.

Turns out this one friend who we shall call Jess she’s 26, told my gf that whilst she’s not around or I’m in the bathroom I text Jess with naughty messages, phots etc, an that she wouldn’t be surprised if I was texting other girls.

Now this is the FIRST I’m ever hearing of this an I’d never do this.

So we get home and argue a little, I explain that this is not true, offer her my phone, all my passwords, everything she needs but unfortunately the arguing must of been to much so she left to stay at her mothers,

Jess is apparently going around tonight to show my gf “screenshots” of my “dirty deeds”

I honestly don’t know what to do but this person Jess thinks is me, is not me.

So am I the asshole for taking a number 2?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/CodGroundbreaking356 on 2023-12-28 14:26:57+00:00.

I am genuinely confused and a bit upset.

My friend had sold his car a few months ago and since then we stopped seeing each other much due to work and life in general, we live in the same city, however he’s like 1 hour drive away.

Everytime we want to plan something he asks me to drive him, and i dont mind i mean of course but, sometimes the plan is to come over to mine or somewhere close to me and he refuses to use any public transport.

Its really inconvenient for me to drive for 1 hour to go to him and 1 hour back and then having to drop him off again and drive back.

After many plans going to waste due to me refusing he stopped talking to me and wont even go out anymore.

Am i really at fault here?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Infamous-Gear9786 on 2023-12-28 14:14:43+00:00.

I am 36f, my sister is 39 and her partner is 40m. They have been together for 20 years and he always picks on me over everything, I am also autistic so take everything seriously. I have asked him many times to stop picking on me and also asked my family to get him to stop. My sister has told me that i need to stop being so sensitive, but it makes me feel unsafe and unloved. I can't go NC because of my living arrangements, but I have decided not to spend new years at theirs, which we do every year.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ok_Conversation1836 on 2023-12-28 14:12:26+00:00.

I have one of those metal blades for cutting down brush for my weedwacker. I rarely use it, but when I do, it's a pain in the ass to put on. So o barely know how to do it. Last night right before I went to work, my brother called me and asked if he could borrow my weedwacker, and the blade so he could cut down some brush behind his house. I juts grabbed the blade and all of the stuff he'd need to switch the heads. When I got to his house to drop everything off, he was like "oh, you didn't even switch the heads?" I told him I don't know how. He rolled his eyes. Then I left for work. So o left him to deal with it on his own. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Barbie80504 on 2023-12-28 14:10:31+00:00.

I have a shared Instagram account with my husband and we post our lifestyle, food, travels etc. A few weeks ago, my brother in law asked my husband about some FIFA game stuff and they ended up adding each other on Instagram and started to talk and share videos of people playing video games.

Yesterday my BIL wrote about some online tournament and I replied saying my husband is busy and will probably reply this weekend as he is rarely online, and that the best way to contact him is WhatsApp if it is urgent. From this message started a short discussion where he asked me where was my last post taken, and he said my skirt was really nice but « so tiny 🥵 ». I said « it’s not that short 😂🫣 » and I said where was the restaurant. He said « looks like it’s very tiny 😏 » and I said « 😅 » and it ended like this .

This morning my sister (she is 36, I am 26) sent me a 4-minute voice message saying she can’t believe I didn’t tell her that i have her husband on Instagram and she is shocked to see that i text him at night and talk about my outfits and my skin showing. I cried so much and could barely defend myself, and I feel she assumes I am guilty because I had no argument to defend myself. My husband told me to slow down and that we will see tonight after work how we can go back, but I feel so hurt that I thought I would write here.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/AITAtripalone on 2023-12-28 14:05:35+00:00.

My birthday is January 28th (sunday next year).

In recent years, I haven't been able to enjoy properly my birthday because in 2020 I injured my arm, in 2021 with COVID, in 2022 the whole family had a virus. And I love my birthday, in previous years I got a whole day off without doing anything at home, so in 2024** I just want that.

I love my children (7M, 5M and 2M), I like spending time with them, but because I work from home, I am with them most of the time and they can overwhelm me. Even more so with the youngest who are now more "idependent"

For Christmas, my husband gave me a family trip to a place and for me to choose a date, but he strongly suggested the weekend of my birthday.

This disappointed me a little, because I expressed my desire to simply have a free day for him, but I understood that he was excited and I am too, but not for that date.

Today, my husband asked if we could book on my birthday weekend and I was honest, saying that I would prefer to leave it for another weekend and take a mini trip (Saturday and Sunday) to any hotel with a pool on my birthday alone.

He got upset saying that he would like to celebrate my birthday with me at this hote with family, but that I would rather spend it alone than with them. And it would be our first trip after our last child was born.

He and I don't have family nearby or trusted friends (we recently moved) and having a babysitter 24 hours a day for 2 days is very expensive, so it wouldn't be possible for the two of us to spend it together.

I tried to explain that I really needed a break, because our children were on vacation and having 3 children, one of them a baby, is very difficult since I worked from home.

He's really upset with me, I haven't booked the hotel yet, but I'm feeling lost.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Apprehensive-Till163 on 2023-12-28 14:03:16+00:00.

For context, I have a friend group of 10 people and we're only friends because we're block-mates/classmates or have similar interests. that's all. I realized that I don't actually like being with them or relate to them that much. they mostly live in the province and speak our mother tongue fluently while I prefer to speak English and lived my whole life in the city. My problem is that I always feel like I'm the problem, they get along with each other so well and have fun conversations together while I'm just...there. We sometimes do have fun conversations but its not meaningful to me. I can't relate and I feel more alienated when they mention that I don't know this or that because I didn't grow up in the province (alluding to me being more privileged than them). They're really nice to me and try to make me feel included but there's always some awkward interaction with me: I ask a question and no one replies, I can't add much to the conversation because of the slight language barrier and can't relate to their style of humor. Another thing to add is that I don't like their study habits, lack of ambition, cramming work ethic, and lack of outgoing-ness (lmao idk the word). But these are things I can't control :( I don't wanna be alone in college and we all have classes together because we're in the same medical program so there's that. Do I tolerate the fact that I don't seem to have a meaningful connection with them for the sake of companionship throughout our program? Or do I just become a loner until I get a new set of friends (difficult because we are a class and everyone already has a "friend group"). Am I the ahole for not liking/accepting them as they are and not trying harder to get along with them? help pls :((

should i cut them off, keep them as acquaintances, or be a better friend?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Full_story24 on 2023-12-28 14:03:04+00:00.

My sister is getting married start of September next year and I’m pregnant and my baby is due in mid June so will be less than 3 months old at the time of her wedding. Her fiancé told me at Christmas dinner that they don’t want any children at their wedding so I would not be able to bring my newborn baby. I didn’t really say anything at the time as I was so shocked, I expected to be able to have my husband look after the baby during the ceremony (I’m maid of honour) so he can pop out easily if baby needs anything but my baby would still be able to attend. I don’t feel comfortable being away from my baby that early even if it would be left with my husband who I obviously trust. I’ve not spoken to her about this properly yet as I knew I’d just get upset but I wont be able to attend her wedding if my baby can’t come. I get it’s her day and that’s their choice not to have children at the wedding but it came out of nowhere in the middle of a family Christmas dinner. I don’t want to kick up a fuss and cause upset since it is her day but a wedding is a long day especially with all the responsibilities of MOH and I don’t want to be away from my baby that long. I plan on entirely breastfeeding so being away from my newborn for the length of a wedding is just not something I’m willing to do. AITA if I don’t go to her wedding?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/vulpix_ari on 2023-12-28 13:55:49+00:00.

typo in title, his mom

Hi all,

So me [31/F] and my husband [30/M] share a flat. He bought it way before we got married, and now we share it. I have always hated to sleep in the same bed as my partner, so as the flat has two bedrooms, I now have claimed the room which used to be the guest room. My stuff is there, but my husbands office desk is there as well, he still works from home but theres plans to relocate it so I can have my space and feel I have a sense of privacy. So, in a way, the room still doesnt feel fully mine.

Now, his mom sometimes comes visit, she lives in another town. Sometimes she stays in a hotel, but when she stays in the flat, my husband automatically gives her my room and not his room. This bothers me, because I still feel like im a “guest” in my own home, and that he can invade my space with his office and now the mom can sleep in my bed (I bought the mattress by the way, and I feel weird ab others using it). I want to say to my husband that I feel an invasion of privacy, that I dont feel like the flat is my home, but at the same time I fear I may sound like an asshole not giving his mom a space to sleep? Would I be the asshole if I say I dont want the mon sleeping in my room?