Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/freyaoe on 2024-01-14 14:52:01+00:00.

EDIT As weird as this may sound (and he is aware and accepts that I do this albeit thinking im a little crazy)- I try every single treat and food before I give them to my animals. Do I enjoy them? Not really. But if it tastes off or bad I do not give it to my animals and only buy treats etc. with high quality ingredients and higher end things. I do realize that they are still not made for human consumption.

I have been dating/living with my partner for almost 3 years. We are 31 and 39. I can honestly say I have never pulled a prank on him before, and that it was out of character for me. My grandmother just passed away a few hours before, and I had been struggling with her being in bad shape, and even more so after her death. I had to take my harder core anxiety meds to cope with the continuous crying/anger/grief feelings. He knew all of this and how tough things have been for me.

I went out with a friend somewhere new and brought back my partner a cool tea to try. I often bring him things to try- and surprise "feed" it to him by bringing it over and towards his mouth to voluntarily eat and then I explain what it is and get a reaction. Pretty normal stuff. Well, for some reason I was looking at these cat treats I had that look and break like chocolate. I took a very small piece and decided to fool him and tell him I got new chocolate for him to try with the tea. I recorded his reaction just to share with my sister who is also dealing with our loss. For what it's worth, I also tried the cat treat begorehand and it's pretty nasty and bitter with a weird candle wax texture but nothing world ending. I'd say akin to eating a weirdly savory piece of bakers chocolate.

He acted shocked and said "Wait, what's wrong with this chocolate?" after few seconds in and I laughed and told him I tricked him and it was actually a cat treat. He proceeded to spit it out all over the floor dramatically and walked into the kitchen (not sure what he did) and looked very angry and said nothing to me. That was the first thing that made me annoyed because I felt that was disrespectful to spit it all over the floor and furntiture and not clean it up. I did say out loud, "You're spitting it all over the floor?!" He went upstairs and brushed he teeth and was a little dramatic and gagged a couple times. He never came back down. Came to get his phone hours later and didn't speak to me. I was busy grieving the loss of my grandmother but was crying on and off and just having one of the hardest days I've had in a long time.

He had said earlier in the day that his leg was hurting and seemed to be in a relatively bad mood and I had to ask him multiple times to come downstairs before the prank- which isn't typical. We have a really great relationship. I couldn't believe that he would act thus way after an innocent prank and thwart all my attempts to lighten things up then and before hand. He ignored me when I said I warmed up his tea and its still sitting there. AITA?

Also, not that it may matter, but I was so upset by his reaction and already dealing with so much I left and drive around and spent the night in my car in a (legal) public space. It sucked. But, this morning he still hasn't reached out to me. I didn't even want to be around him and I didn't want to kick him out or even speak to him, so I left. All of this is just compounding how upset I am in general. Again, AITA for pulling this prank?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/rottentilthecore on 2024-01-14 11:17:42+00:00.

My uncle weirds me out. Has been so for quite some time. He visits often, and stays for a couple days, or vice versa. I would have no problem with that, since I don't even try my best to interact with relatives often, but thats besides the point.

However he is touchy and I hate it so so much. It catchs me so off gaurd, I get so disturbed and uncomfortable. I avoid him as much as I can, if mum lets me and doesn't remind me to get in touch with relatives(forcibly) or visit them.

I told very few family members about it, and I wasn't really clear about it to be fair, it's agonizing to talk about, and all I got back was that I was overreacting, he's just a playful uncle, and that I'm being weird and or looking too deep into it. I never said anything again, and they never do when he asks me for unnecessary kisses on the cheek throughout the day infront of them.

Recently I started borrowing 4-5 hundred out of his wallet(idk why he carries this much cash, not complaning.), I wasn't keeping it or anything, I don't want to go to prison at 15, so I js hid it somewhere in the house, so it went missing. This resulted into the maid finding it sometimes.

He brought it up during one random family dinner, everyone on the table agreed she may be stealing some, while acting as if she found some, including me. I feel guilty, she doesn't deserve it probably, but if that's what he does with me, I wouldn't be surprised she gives him extra services.

Only asking because there is a highhh chance she's getting fired. I think I'm doing her a favour, getting her away from that creepy unwed guy. Still I could be ruining her life too since they could call the police, but we don't cameras to prove that(which they're installing), I brought up the idea to some he's just careless, but they doubt it.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Rivalry- on 2024-01-14 10:47:51+00:00.

Basically, we had an argument as my roommates noticed I (25M) worked long hours/unpaid overtime and work way above my job description as a legal administrator for a law firm. I voluntarily taken on paralegal/trainee solicitor tasks on top of my role as an admin to gain experience as much as possible regardless of the title and pay; experience is my priority, and even if I get paid as a admin regardless of working as a paralegal every now and then, I’ve never had an issue and don’t care about title or pay at the moment as that will come along when I decide I’m ready to move up. My company has never crossed my personal life, and I have never had an issue when it’s come to my wellbeing.

However, my roommates badger me saying I’m just being used and exploited, and what I’m doing is basically pointless and won’t get me anywhere, to which I’ve told them that they’re just lazy employee and unambitious, and that they won’t understand as they’re not motivated. They still try to give me advice, but I just don’t listen at this point… am I missing something here? Am I just too complacent?

Update: I see this point brought up a lot. I’ve explained to my roommates that I don’t feel exploited or used because the company is accommodating in my situation. I can take on more work when I need to for experience, and the company allows me to WFH, shorten working days during the week, and adjust my workload if I need to. Management frequently meet up with me regarding progression, and are happy for me to take my time.

I’ve apologised to my roommates regarding my comments, and we’re all back on good terms as we’re all close friends for years!

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/that_will_do_123 on 2024-01-14 07:47:15+00:00.

My boyfriend bought me an iPad a couple of years ago. I bought a pink case for it right away and put a couple stickers on that case. I ended up not really using the iPad so he started using it instead. He had been using it for at least 6 months at this point. He took it on a work trip and ended up taking off one of the stickers (it was Yuffie from FFVII) and threw it away.

Today while he was making dinner he asked me to grab the iPad and put on a show so we could watch in the kitchen. I went to grab it and noticed my sticker was gone. I asked him if he took it off and where he put it. He said he threw it away. I gave him a really upset look and left it at that.

Then he came over and started justifying why he threw it away. He said the sticker was lewd (it was her in game outfit) and he was on a work trip, he didn't think it was a big deal because it's disposable, I had many stickers already and he thought the ones I care about I don't use. I told him that it was a sticker one of my artist friends drew and it was mine so he shouldn't have thrown it away with out asking me first. He said it was ridiculous that he had to ask me for permission to throw away every insignificant piece of trash. He compared it to spoiled food in the fridge. I started getting really mad at this point and started yelling at him that he didn't respect my stuff and I always ask him before I throw anything of his away like receipts and stuff. He acknowledged that I have never done that before, but he said he still doesn't think he did anything wrong and doesn't need to apologize. I ended up screaming at him and even if he felt like it was trash it wasn't his call to just throw it away especially since it has been on that case since he first got it.

If he was that uncomfortable with it he should have brought that up earlier so I could have taken it off. He then started yelling that he was the one that bought the iPad, and he paid for almost everything in the house and he is bringing it up now because I'm making a big deal about the sticker being mine. I screamed that I never mentioned the actual iPad or anything else. I was just mad that he threw away my sticker with out asking me.

Now he's not talking to me and I'm feeling bad that I yelled at him, because really, it's just a sticker. I just wanted him to apologize.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Apprehensive_Owl5134 on 2024-01-14 03:58:21+00:00.

I (21F) have health conditions that make day to day life difficult My boyfriend Trey (26M) is healthy

The dog (Sam) was a boxer/Jack russel mix the size of a boxer and energy of a Jack russel I did not know this when we got him he ended up being too much for me to handle

Trey and I had been dating 6 months and wanted to get a dog I found sam and we went to adopt him. He was small when we got him (he got big fast) and we were told he was perfectly behaved

Sam was a maniac destroyed everything had accidents in the house was stronger than me I couldn’t control him gave my roommate a black eye

Trey refused to help with Sam and said it was my responsibility I would ask him to watch sam while I shower and he would put sam in the crate He complained if I asked him to do anything for Sam

I was at the end of my rope trying to take care of sam by myself so I talked to Trey about finding a better home Trey refused and said if I got rid of the dog he would never forgive me

I said I didn’t want to either but I couldn’t handle him anymore I told him that if we kept Sam he would have to either help me pay to get him trained or take him to doggy daycare He came up with excuses to my suggestions he didn’t have the money for training (he made $32 an hour as a engineer at a factory and living rent free in my apartment) and he didn’t want to get up early to take the dog to daycare because it was 15 minutes out of his way.

So I kept dealing with Sam by myself until the last straw

Sam had had an accident and peed in the bedroom floor that day I cleaned it up while Trey made a comment along the lines of “the dog is going to regret that later” I didn’t think much of it Trey made empty threats all the time

that night I woke up at 2AM to the sound of stumbling and running water I sit up and see Trey peeing on Sam Sam always sleeps in his kennel with the door latched so he doesn’t destroy anything at night I immediately jumped up got Sam out of the kennel and away from Trey’s stream gave sam a bath and took him downstairs to sleep with me on the pullout couch since I couldn’t put him back in the kennel

The next morning I went off on Trey and he claimed he was ‘sleepwalking’ (even though he hasn’t slept walked in years and made a comment about ‘getting back at the dog’ for peeing in the floor)

That day while Trey was at work I took Sam to me parents house and texted the girl we got him from to see if she wanted to come get him (She said if we ever got rid of Sam she wanted him back) she came that afternoon and picked him up and i went back to my apartment I didn’t tell Trey because I didn’t want him to interfere and try to stop me

When trey got home I told him I got rid of Sam and gave him the reasons mentioned above Trey went off He was screaming at me for how I was a terrible person for getting rid of the dog he loved and was attached to

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/StrictConflict8526 on 2024-01-14 03:54:30+00:00.

I (30F) recently offered to help my sister and her husband (27F, 29M). The day after Christmas he was diagnosed with tumors in his leg and he recently started treatment. Our parents have been helping with cleaning their house, organizing rides to treatment, going over to cook for them, etc. I wasn’t really sure what I could do that they aren’t already but I told them if I could fill in somehow then to let me know.

My sister reached out in our family chat today and mentioned they needed some groceries. Our parents are out of town so I said I could pick them up for her. She sent me a list and I said I’d drop it off this evening. It was a list of about 20-items. I didn’t pay attention to how many things were on her list until I got to the store. I was also doing my grocery shopping at the same time. Both lists wound up being WAY more than I planned on spending. I did not get about 10 items from my sister’s list that didn’t seem like essentials.

When I got to her house she asked if the store was out of things. I told her the truth and she seemed miffed. After we got the groceries put away she said she didn’t understand my point because she had sent me money via an app to cover the groceries. I did not know this until she said something about it.

She asked if I could go back since I had the money and started guilt tripping me about their situation. I still needed to get home to put my own groceries away, so I told her I could just send her half of her money back and she can get it delivered or something.

A while later she texted me and said “they” were hurt (I don’t think this is true because her husband didn’t say anything while I was there) and she said she wouldn’t be asking me for help anymore. I said she’s being demanding and people have been more than kind to her, so she should be thankful, not critical. We argued back and forth and she insists I am in the wrong.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ProjectGameVerse2000 on 2024-01-14 03:00:48+00:00.

I have this friend who is very religious and very into God. I told her I do not believe in religion and I don't have time to sit around fearing some mythical being we think exist. She kept on sending me things about God and I told her to stop countless times. So finally I text her and told her how I felt.

"I know you mean well, but I don't believe in any of this. I never believed in religion since I was indoctrinated into it. I hate having to repeat myself to ask you to please stop doing this. I respect you all the time, but you do not respect me back. You always keep saying, "I am not your girlfriend," and "We can not date." And I never think about that. But you do all the time, apparently because you keep saying it. If you don't respect me which I do for you all the time, why am I even around you"?

And shortly afterwards, she decides to block me and I was astonished at first. I was like, did I do something wrong? Like this is a person I have been friends with for years, we went above & beyond for each other. But the minute I had an opinion about not believing in God and why I left church, she turned into a different person. For the past weeks, I been feeling that it was my fault. Maybe I should have kept quiet. I just don't know anymore at this point. Was I wrong? I did everything to be a good friend. I helped her out when she had nothing, I went out of my way to make sure she ate and I bought food because I didn't like to see her sad is all. Was I wrong in telling her off about God?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Narieljess on 2024-01-14 01:24:09+00:00.

Sorry in advance but this will be a long post.

TL:DR we both work in Asia and he is getting a job offer from somewhere in UAE, which I don't have any job opportunities there. If we move, I won't be able to find a job. Also I don't want to live separately in different countries and or move and end my career. On the other side, I want to have a kid and he doesn't want.

This is a huge problem that we are having at the moment. I also have generalised anxiety disorder and depression and my therapist says staying alone is not an option for my mental health. AITA for not wanting him to take this job offer?

Long Post: My husband and I have been working in Asia for 8 years now. He has not many job options here due to his job being extremely niche. I am working in reinsurance sector which is booming. He recently had an online interview for a job in UAE and they are considering him for a really good role which on the paper, really good for his career. In the meantime, reinsurance sector is almost non-existent there so there is a high chance I will be unemployed.

I do suffer from GAD and depression and my life turned upside down in the last month. I am not able be alone, scared of being alone, left alone etc etc. I am anxious and depressed 7/24. I am not able to sleep properly and lost quite a bit of weight.

I asked him to not go (very selfishly I know), I told him staying apart is not an option for me as I will have a further breakdown. My therapist also said, me being alone is not an option at this stage of my mental health. I started on medication but as of first week, it's been quite rough. I do realise, asking him to not go because I am not mentally healthy or I am not able to find a job is extremely selfish. But I also feel like I do have a serious health issue, and he wouldn't leave me if this was a physical sickness or condition.

I am scared to go with him because I don't want to bury my career as of yet. And it's because I want to have a kid and he doesn't want to. And I am not sure, If I go with him and end of not having a kid, I will be losing both my dream and my job. Him and me are both adamant in our kid decision and he asked me to give him a year to think about, but I do not think he will change his mind.

So my question, AITA for asking him to not go?

Edit: just to clarify, he is not happy in his job here and doesn't see any future for him. There are not many options in the country we live in currently.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/dommymommy79 on 2024-01-14 00:48:14+00:00.

I male 16 have been doing gymnastics and anything to do with flips and tricks for about 9 years and I was at my local tumbling place with a tramp wall and a balcony and all this other stuff and I am on the trampoline wall looking down at the foam pit when I see a young girl (about 5) and an older girl (about 8) standing on the balcony looking down as well so I asked them if they were going to jump to prevent us from both jumping and getting hurt but they both just stare at me so I think that maybe they didn't hear me so I ask again."hey are you guys gonna jump" still no response at this point the 8 year old girl turns and walks away and the 5 year old girl turns her head away from me, so take this as a no and walk backwards get a running start before jumping off and turning and having my bad face the foam pit now as I do this the 5 year old girl jumps as well (unexpected by me) and then as I land in the foam pit she lands on top of me with her legs on my chest and the rest of her Body in the foam pit she then says "why did you do that" and I said "I asked you twice" to witch she replies "whatever"and she then climbs out of the foam pit and goes to the administration office to which I am then called to and she is crying and has an ice pack on her back and the main woman pulls me aside and says "tell me what happened" (I then told her what I just told you) she continues with "well her mom is on her way to get her and her dad is planning on taking her to the hospital to see if she is paralyzed" she then makes me fill out a whole bunch of paperwork and give her my phone number after I did that my friends and I left and it's I'll been thinking about (one of my friends watched this all happen) so I'm asking now am I the Asshole

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/whinydaughter on 2024-01-14 00:22:29+00:00.

I (58M) have a daughter (32F) and a son (35M).

My son is a lot more successful than my daughter and has a marketing degree and works for a bank and is happily married.

My daughter on the other hand has been very unstable, she did a comp Sci degree than got a job and claimed it was boring and quit then did a PhD in AI that made her broke and then worked at Google briefly and got laid off.

Her most recent failure after that was taking a job at a small company abroad which promised her high pay. She paid for her move, sent her 2 cats and TVs computers etc from America to the UK even though I advised her not to and after moving there got laid off once she created a prototype for then after just 2 months with no severance pay as she was on probation. Incredibly dumb for someone with a PhD to fall for an obvious scam.

She calls me crying about it and all the money lost and still having months left on her lease but after hearing her take bad decisions so many times and whine about it I was not having it and i told her maybe she should have taken smarter decisions and not fallen for the scam or just worked the boring job years ago instead of wasting Time on a PhD. She also always has something else to blame when things go wrong and her go to excuse is that she is a woman.

AITA here? I can understand if it was the first time but I've watched her do similar things for years.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Pitiful_Raspberry152 on 2024-01-13 23:51:23+00:00.

I (16F) And my mom (35F) Have fought a lot since I turned 16. On my 16th birthday she wouldn't even let me talk, she would interrupt me. She would then yell at me if I tried to speak to my aunt (33F) which was talking to me first, My aunt seemed mad about this and started to ignore her. However my mom did not take this very well she made everything about her, and then talked about my autism, and saying that is why collect plushies and some toys, which is not really the case I just think they are cool and never had stuff like that as a kid. Plus They are cute.

A few months later my mom and I had gotten into an fight, nothing physical but I could tell she wanted it to, for not agreeing with her. But she had the audacity to say that I made everything about me yelling at me and calling me a selfish bitch. And that she had to drop everything to set me up doctors appointments, or listen to me complain about something. Which is not true, a little background information. I have a weak immune system so I get sick a little too easily, so it was hard for me during Covid and stuff. I also don't do well mentally and even my mom has been told I need therapy but she hasn't even put me in it. She then went on about how I can't make everything about me, and that I need to grow up. She puts herself and my two brothers (7M) and (10M) Before me, but says she has no favorites. When my cousin came to pick me up after I texted my aunt crying asking to stay with her because of everything my mom has said, my mom looked at my cousin (17F) and said "I don't know why she had to go running to your mom because we got into a fight" But just before my cousin was there she tried to make me change my mind. And got mad and stormed out of the house when I ignored her. I cam back a few days later, and she didn't change. She was still disrespectful towards me..

She did not change and in fact our fights got worse, like if one if my things went missing after i had it in a certain place after she had cleaned it she would have no idea where it would be at. She would then manipulate me into feeling sorry for her, and she then made me feel worse.. But AITA for wanting to leave again??

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/bramblefirespooks on 2024-01-13 23:17:09+00:00.

I 32(f) and my husband 40(m) have 3 children (all under 11).

We struggled during the pandemic, my husband lost his job and I was self employed I managed to get a ‘proper job’ and my mums house came up for rent, so we moved in to a different part of the county with the feeling (which we discussed) that she wouldn’t kick us out should we struggle to pay rent. My husband then managed to get a job here and our kids have settled into a school they love.

Cut to recently, I’ve had an incredibly tough 6 months with various different things affecting me (bereavement, difficult work issues, more financial stress – we’ve never missed rent though, which we pay her the going rate for) I confided in my Mum about all of this.

Recently my Nan (her Mum) became really poorly, I made the dash up to see her (she lives 5 hours away) and tried to support my Mum as best I could in her last few days.

We’re two weeks away from her funeral and my Mum announces that now my Nan has died she wants to sell the house we live in so she can use her inheritance and the money from the sale to buy a flat in London, saying she needs us out in 6 months.

She knows, as she has commented in the email, that there is little housing in the village where we live, and that if we are made homeless we will likely end up rehoused by the council and put in a hotel. My daughter will also be in her last year of primary school, so will have to move schools again, only to then change schools for secondary.

She commented that she did not promise us the house for any set period of time, but we have only been here three years (the shortest tenancy of my adult life) and clearly would not have uprooted ourselves thinking we’d be here such a short space of time. Beyond that we’ve built a life and have a community around us here.

I also run my own business, which I would not be able to do from a hotel, and it would be unfeasible for us to commute to work from our nearest city (where we would most likely end up). I’m utterly devastated, we thought this was our forever home and I’m terrified for the affect this will have on our children – our youngest is only 4.

But she wants a nice flat in an upmarket area of London, she’s in her mid 60s and doesn’t currently have a permanent base, so I get that she wants somewhere permanent.

I feel betrayed, and utterly devastated for my children. My Dad is livid and has offered us all his spare capital, but it’s not enough to buy the house, I can sell my business (approx half the value of the house) but I need a yearish to find a buyer (which I won’t have if we’re made to leave in the 6months she’s giving us).

Iatah for expecting her to let house stay? Or at least until our eldest has finished primary school?

EDIT: I am the asshole, for expecting us to be able to stay.

I am not however a mooch or a leach, we pay the rent set by the agency, the same as any other Tennant.

. I obviously will do everything I can to find us somewhere else to live, I have spoken to both the council and shelter who have advised that until evicted were low priority and upon eviction its likely the only place they can house us is in a hotel in a city an hour or so away.

I will also, obviously sell my business if it means we have somewhere to live, but I've got to be realistic about how long that may take and also have to find another way of making the income it currently provides.

My husband only works part time because of our children, childcare costs more than his wages so he works nights when I'm home and I work days, we don't see much of each other but I think that's the reality for lots of families.

Again, I'm clearly the asshole, but I'm a very sad and worried asshole so if everyone could treat me with a modicum of kindness I'd appreciate it.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Extension-Path-4576 on 2024-01-13 23:01:33+00:00.

We recently discovered that our 4 year old son is red-green colorblind, which is a trait inherited from my FIL. My wife has explained to him that he has "special eyes" that can’t see red and green. This doesn’t quite sit right with me because his eyes are defective, not special. Obviously I don’t use the word defective around our son, but I just think it’s more accurate to acknowledge that his eyes function differently because he has a disability, rather than using terms like "special eyes".

He confidently misidentifies colors a lot, and I correct him whenever he does. However, my wife told me me to stop correcting him because it will diminish his confidence and he doesn’t see the same things as us so no amount of correction is going to change what he sees. But I told her that correcting him is the best thing to do because it will help him learn what things are actually what color.

I just think it’s beneficial to correct him and tell him how things are so that he has the same information most people have, but my wife disagrees and wants him to embrace his colorblindness.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by [deleted] on 2024-01-13 22:44:27+00:00.

Edit: To be fair, I was helping her move out of an apartment she was living in with an ex so the insecurity had built up over months. Also, I went back and bought the strainer.

A couple weeks ago, I (M29) was helping my girlfriend (F27) move into a new apartment. While unpacking her things, she mentioned that she still needed to bring a pile of “old” clothes to the donation center. I was putting her sweatshirts away, as instructed, and I found a couple old, ratty men’s sweatshirts. I assumed these were part of the “old” clothes she was taking about and added them to the box. I brought them to the donation center with the rest of the things, again like she asked.

It turns out those sweaters were her dad’s favorite. When he died a few years ago, she had to go back to work the next week. Her sister had the month off, so she took what she wanted and donated everything else in his house. Apparently, the sweaters were the only things she got besides an envelope of post cards that her sister got rid of.

Now she is barely speaking to me and said I was an AH for getting rid of her stuff without asking. I understand that they were important to her but I feel like she’s being kind of dramatic. I told her this morning and she hasn’t gotten out of bed and has been staring at the wall ever since. I was only trying to help her get rid of “old” clothes and the sweatshirts were by far the oldest things there. Plus, I really didn’t like her having another guys clothing and didn’t know it was her dad’s. She still has one wool sweater but says it doesn’t “have the same memories.”

Was I really an AH? I was trying to help.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/22eh95 on 2024-01-13 22:10:19+00:00.

We’ve lived together for a year and adopted two kittens five months ago. Before we got them I told him I was happy to on the condition that they do not go into the bedroom at night with us. He agreed to this and everything was fine.

But now he is insisting and trying to guilt trip me into letting them into the bedroom. I work 12hr shifts I’m tired I get up early and I have very poor sleep on the best of nights so I do not want two cats who like to play a lot and move around in bed with us.

They don’t have access to upstairs during the day and we don’t spend time upstairs during the day for them to be used to being in the bedroom with us so I don’t feel mean about this as it’s not something they’re used to.

He try’s to tell me that he loves them and he wants to hug them when he’s sleeping and that I don’t love them and he feels mean. He says I’d rather not have them and also “they don’t wake me up so why would they wake you up”. (He knows this because when I’m working he lets the cats into the bedroom when he goes for a nap)

He sometimes chooses to sleep downstairs with them, like tonight all because I said that they’re not coming upstairs.

We have tried them in the bedroom a few times but they are so disruptive. I’m such a light sleeper whereas he isn’t.

Am I wrong for this?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/LowerMemory3419 on 2024-01-13 21:36:40+00:00.

I am serving in the Air Force and there is a possibility that I will be getting orders to go to Korea for a short tour. I could do a short tour in S. Korea for 1 year without taking my wife with me (aka unaccompanied tour). If I were to take my wife, we would have to be in Korea for 2 years (aka accompanied).

I don't want to go to Korea either way but to spend less time there, I would want to do the 1 year tour and come back home. I would also want to take that time to spend by myself. My wife is not having any of it and wants to come with me. She wants to have the experience of Korea together. She also just doesn't want to be alone for a year. She would be around family and friends so she would have a support system. We don't have kids so no issue there.

Those who have done their time in Korea know how work/life balance is there. I just want to do my time and come home. I have told her that I don't want to take her with me and that has caused a lot arguments and her being upset. I understand that this is asking a lot on her part but would I be the asshole for not taking her with me?

EDIT: Y'all I'm not trying to run away or divorce my wife. She is the love of my life, we have a healthy relationship with good communication. We support each other, this situation is just new for us. The time alone is to have the time to decompress from the tempo of being in Korea. The ops tempo is a lot faster and requires significantly more time at work. I would want that time to handle everything healthily and not take that home to her. I can see I didn't word or explain that statement well, apologies.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/helloh314 on 2024-01-13 20:50:57+00:00.

Background : This morning I was feeling rlly rlly low…. Didn’t feel like smiling and shit. In my family, I am the youngest and always expected to smile and be super positive and sweet. When my aunt and grandma come over, I am always expected to smile and laugh and hug them whereas my cousin who everyone does not expect to be positive and sweet, has no obligation to do so. Anyways, I was feeling rlly low today morning.

So what happened : I accidentally bumped my stepdad when I was pulling out a shelf tray and he said ‘ow’. I asked him ‘are you ok’ maybe my tone wasn’t that warm or something, but my mum got angry at me for my tone (which was apparently rlly cold) and for forgetting to apologise. I felt really bad … but thinking I always get bumped like that and never get apologized to and adding the fact that I was feeling like a worthless piece of shit today morning, I just stayed quiet and washed the dishes.

My mum came up to me and just started insulting me and scolding me. Yes I acknowledge I should have apologized but I really wasn’t in the mood to. Normally I do, and I asked him ‘are you ok?’ My mum started calling me useless and worthless, and ungrateful. She said that if it weren’t for her, my relationship with everyone would be crap and implied that no one would like me. I apologized for my behaviour today morning but she kept going. I don’t know how but I just started bawling (screaming plus crying) and she looked at me in disgust. My stepdad came over and asked me ‘what is wrong’ not in a caring way but like a ‘shut up’ manner. Again I apologized for screaming.

I don’t know. I don’t know. I guess I feel like it’s my fault because I should have apologized to my stepdad in the first place, but I really thought it was ok.

Also, sorry if my communication isn’t so good…..I’m not the best at communicating……

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/NaturalHead699 on 2024-01-13 20:24:43+00:00.

First reddit account, and this situation has been bothering me for a while and my friend advised me to ask here.

My (33f) husband (35m) are working on growing our family. We have one child already, and I'm 20 weeks pregnant with a second. My husband has been very supportive of this, and because he is quite well off, I can take as much time off of work as possible.

The reason for this post is the fact that while growing our family is great and all that, one of the main obstacles right now is the car my husband has. It's big I guess, but it's only 5 seats. I was thinking that by the time our second kids come, we could have a 7-8 seater car. The size hike would be convenient for us in my opinion. I talked to my husband about it, but he's not exactly on board with the idea. He thinks his current car is big enough for 4 or even 5 people. I can see why he might not want to trade in, given that he's only had for 3-4 ish years, and he only paid it off about a year ago, but I proposed the idea of just trading in. With the car that he has, buying any full size SUV will go for about 15,000-25,000 after the trade-in value.

The discussion turned into more of an argument, and one thing led to another to the point where I said that he doesn't seem to care about me or my future kids wellbeing and I left. I didn't actually mean what I said, but I was just really upset.

AITA? I don't think im that wrong for my ask

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/diestupid on 2024-01-13 18:53:21+00:00.

me and my boyfriend have had multiple conversations about this girl on tiktok he follows. he follows four of her tiktok accs and 3 insta accounts. about a week ago i found a vid of her working out with mainly her ass and other stuff in his hidden. we had a conversation about this and he blocked her on everything. well today about an hour ago i was on his tiktok because i was bored and accidentally clicked on his search and once again she was at the top so out of curiosity i clicked on it and what a surprise he follows her again. this is where i think i might be the AH i got annoyed,deleted her from his search history and blocked her. after about 10 mins i decided to come clean about it as i felt guilty we had a convo once again about it he admits he likes her and her ass and said it’s no different than following a girl on twitter but imo it is. so i asked him have u unblocked her again and he says yes. i ask him why and he says it’s his tiktok and he can follow who he wants. but i feel like he’s not taking my feelings into consideration.So reddit AITA???

EDIT: we’ve been dating a year now.when we first started dating he always said he’d unfollow anyone who makes me uncomfortable.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Few_Recording2837 on 2024-01-13 18:51:23+00:00.

My husband (32) normally goes to bed around 8 every weeknight because of his commute to work. I (27f) stay up later and watch my shows or read in our living room. Thursday night he wanted to watch a movie in our room since he wasn’t working the next day. I brought up food, water and settled in. It was so comfortable. The movie ended up not working so he said he was going to bed. His going to bed is putting his favorite show on as background noise. I said okay, put on my show and got even more comfortable. He turns around and says that I have to go downstairs because he doesn’t like my show and my food is gross. We go back and forth. I tell him it’s my room too. I don’t want to go downstairs tonight, I’m super comfortable. He says that he’s tired now that we aren’t going to watch the movie. That he has to get up earlier than I do on the weekdays so I need to let him sleep and stop being selfish. I end up going downstairs but I think he was being the asshole not me. He was going to stay awake for the movie that was over 2 hours long.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Yingadinga233 on 2024-01-13 17:20:17+00:00.

A few years ago I had a ring made with my grandmother’s aquamarine in the middle and two of my husband’s grandmother’s diamonds on either side. In the past we had discussed that eventually the ring should go to our daughter, since it would essentially be an heirloom of two of her great-grandmothers.

Now he has filed for divorce and my heart is broken and I want to sell the ring. He claims that it’s marital property and I don’t have the right to sell it while the divorce is pending, and he thinks it should still go to our daughter. I feel like it’s my property and I just want to get rid of it on FB marketplace. Especially since there’s another one of my rings that wasn’t with all the other jewelry he gave back to me when we separated and I think he stole it. He says he doesn’t have it, but I don’t believe him.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Embarrassed_Bake2674 on 2024-01-14 06:37:51+00:00.

I (F57) just want to start by saying that my daughter's (F20) boyfriend (M20) is a lovely person. He's kindhearted, upbeat, respectful, polite, and just generally a good-natured soul. The only thing that throws me off about him is his appearance. He looks like Spongebob personified.

I've always envisioned my daughter with someone that's easy on the eyes or at least average, but I guess my visions were wrong. She's truly in love with this guy and I am very happy for her, so I didn't want to say anything. When she asked me for my opinion on him the next day over call, I said he seemed like a nice guy, but he was a little goofy-looking and that he resembled Spongebob a bit. My honesty pissed her off and she hung up on, didn't talk to me for the rest of the day. I told my husband about what happened, and he agreed that she has every right to be mad and that what I said was completely unnecessary.

I understand that I shouldn't have said what I did, but I feel like my daughter is overreacting a little too much. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/NoSlide4102 on 2024-01-14 04:31:53+00:00.

My (45m) daughter (12f) recently made a racist comment about an Asian transfer student at her school. I corrected her on this and gave her a long and stern lecture on why assumptions are bad. I did not punish her but warned her that if I ever recieved a report that such comments were made at school or towards the boy she would be severely punished because assuming things about people is wrong

Last week my son (17m) was worried because for his team to get a higher "seed" another team would have to lose to an awful team. Apparently this happened and he was really excited last week, so I knew he would be this weekend to. So, this morning I asked him if his team was playing. He said no but that the game today was going to be cold quote "like -5 degrees or something and like -30 with windchill or something like that". I was shocked at such temperatures and asked what teams were playing. He said Kansas City, so a team in Missouri, and Miami. I said where was the game. He paused when he was about to put cereal in his mouth and gave me an almost "are you serious" sort of look. After maybe 5 or so seconds, it clicked that the second team was from Miami, Florida and thus the game was obviously not there due to the temperature.

So I said, oh the Missouri place, and he nodded. My daughter, who was also at the dining table and asked why I "assumed" the game would be in Missouri. I said well Miami will propabalyl never be that cold. She said, yeah but you assumed that. I said no, I just know that Missouri is much colder then Miami, and Miami is hotter then Missouri but a cold game would happen there. She said, so you assumed. I said no, I know, it's a simple fact. She said how come my assumption wasn't then. I told her that that was it and I was taking away her phone for the whole week, even at school.

She said that that was unfair. I said that I had already warned her about making such comments and she was talking back. She yelled some unkind words, so I made it 1 week and the next weekend. And she stayed quiet and went to her room. My son thinks that maybe I went overboard and I'm thinking hes right

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/myburneraccount1357 on 2024-01-14 01:00:10+00:00.

My gym only has 1 lying leg curl machine and it’s a packed Saturday morning. I follow a program and have that machine on program. I noticed the girl sitting on it talking to someone so I go ahead and do another exercise. I finish and she’s still talking. I do another exercise and finish and go ask how much she has left.

She says she’s just starting so I ask can I work in with her since I noticed she’s only here talking while I’ve done 2 exercises waiting for her to finish. She says “No I can take as long as I want, it’s a gym” I get pissed and say “yea it’s a gym, not a social club, you’ve been here talking this whole time when there’s only one of these machines”. Some dude tells me to back off and leave them alone, so I try to say I’m trying to use this machine but can’t cause they’re just talking and he goes “i don’t care back off.” And she says there’s plenty of machines to use at a gym. I set my bottle down and wait for machine. When she finally finished she says don’t disrespect me so I say “I apologize but-“ and she cuts me off and says “I’m not talking to you, don’t disrespect me ever again” so I just put my headphones on and continued my workout.

AITA? Everyone near us was staring and that guy telling me to back off made it seem as if I was the aggressor when I’m literally trying to workout while they’re wasting a machine just chatting away. Really ruined my mood.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/M426fdn on 2024-01-13 23:03:47+00:00.

For context, my husband and I moved in with my grandmother while searching for a home to buy. We ended up falling in love with her home, and decided to buy it from her. Since then we have been updating the kitchen, bathrooms, bedrooms, etc. Purchasing the home angered my aunt as she wanted to sell the home when my grandmother passed to get the money for herself, and my father just wanted the home to stay in the family.

My grandmother is in her mid seventies, which may seem young for an older person, but she refuses to get out of bed. She hasn’t worked in fifty years and hasn’t driven for that long as well. My husband and I currently take care of her. We cook and clean up after her, but she can still shower and go to the bathroom on her own. My husband and I want to adopt, and have decided in the future when she gets to the point she needs around the clock care it would be best if she goes to a nursing home. I work for the family business that is very demanding, and my husband has a trade job. Therefore, we couldn’t be home to care for her if she was to decline anymore. I will add we have cared for her for the last five years now.

My aunts and uncles are very upset I’ve even mentioned a home as I should care for her until she passes since I bought the home. They are telling me I’m ungrateful and a horrible granddaughter. My grandma doesn’t even like me and likes my husband more😂

Am I the asshole?