Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Bibihabibi_papergirl on 2024-01-02 23:33:48+00:00.

As I was preparing a plate of food I heard a loud passing gas sound and I was convinced it was my husband and it sounded like one of his farts. Hes always been immature and farts and thinks its funny. But on Xmas Eve he farted while we were at the dinner table to annoy his brothers but I honestly thought it was beyond disguting. Obviously we were infront of his whole family and his mom and grandma already scoulded him so I didn’t say anything to him. Fast forward to today, I’m in the living room with my husband, our sons and my husbands grandma, i hear a loud farting sound and I just lose it! I start yelling at my husband telling him he’s disgusting and that I lost my appetite for his fault, I throw my food in the trash and storm off. Everyones just silent looking at me. I then get 7-8 messages from my husband telling me that I’m an asshole and I shouldnt react without knowing because it wasnt him but his grandma who has colon cancer and consequently has a bladder bag and she can’t control her passing gas. Now i feel like a horrible person…

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Cold_Orange_8367 on 2024-01-02 21:22:01+00:00.

I (15M) have a sister (18F) who just turned 18 a few days ago. She wanted to have her birthday at a stable with a party that you would throw for an 8 year old, because she's very immature. She has some kind of disability, I'm pretty sure it's some variation of mental retardation but my parents won't clarify to me. This is important.

So while we were at the party I was trying to enjoy myself with all these childish activities but it was boring. My parents favor her a ton and will treat her like a precious baby, she is the golden child. We invited a bunch of kids from the neighborhood that she hangs out with because none of her friends who are her age wanted to go to a kids party.

Anyways, we were on the bouncy castle because she dragged me there, and she ended up peeing herself. It was really gross. I yelled at her to get the fuck out of the bouncy castle and dragged her over to our car and made her sit there for an hour. Because I couldn't stand the pee smell. It was embarrassing as hell to be around.

My parents realized when it was time to cut the cake and sing happy birthday, that she was in their car. Because of her disability she didn't know how to get out and was crying.

My parents were furious with me for some reason, even though I was giving my sister a proper consequence for pissing herself. They are selling my PC and getting in the way of me being able to do well at school.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/blackdanelover on 2024-01-02 20:19:11+00:00.

I feel bad being upset with my husband over Christmas, but this is the worst one I have had for gifts from him. He was very thoughtful on our 10th anniversary; I got a tin rose and an engraved rock glass. For my birthday last year he only got me a breadmaker. I explained to him "personal gifts." This is something I feel I should not have to do after all these years. He then got me a new MP3 player. He never even loaded all the music, just some. This Christmas was bad. I kept thinking I would get something later or it was hidden under the tree too well. He got me a blu-ray movie and a dvd series, plus 2 records. One albumn he already got me 7 years ago and the other I told him several times last year since summmer I did not care for. He said he would return the albums. No mention of getting me anything else. I got him things he wanted and really likes, though not expensive. I do not need alot of money spent on me, I would just like something a bit more personal than movies. Even his mother got me a novel and cooling racks. That was good for her. My often thoughtless, narcissist father always does better for my my mother. He has gotten her quite alot of nice jewelry over the years. My husband once got me tiny cultered post pearl earrings from Kay. That is the only jewelry he has ever bought me aside from my engagement ring. Am I being silly? The more time that passes the more I am upset. I fear bringing it up since it annoyed him at my birthday.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Vektor2023 on 2024-01-02 19:17:40+00:00.

I (16M) have a little cousin (12F) she convinced herself that she wants to get a tattoo. I’ve tried explaining to her that the tattoo is a horrible idea because she just started middle school. She is in the sixth grade and personally I don’t think it’s a good idea for her to get a tattoo at least until she’s 17 because a tattoo (and I have explained this to her) is permanent and it will never go away. She could laser it off, but the scar will still be there and I don’t want her to make some stupid mistake simply because some eighth graders or her friends influenced her to do it. I really care for my little cousin and I care for my family but when she makes this stupid decision (and I think it might be her boyfriend doing this, I have no idea) it will stick with her forever. I’m scared that she’s going to regret it and then she’s gonna have to deal with that regret for the rest of her life and now I’m thinking of telling my grandmother, her mother, her father, her sister, all about the idea that she wants to get a tattoo and that she’s planning to get a tattoo so that they can convince her not to do it. Am I the asshole?

(Btw we do have a professional in our family that does tattoos, we have always gone to him for tattoos and he’s said that with parental permission he will be allowed to give her a tattoo, this is why I’m concerned)

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ThrowRAbridetobee on 2024-01-02 18:53:47+00:00.

I'm getting married to the love of my life this summer -- I'm so excited and I can't wait to have the perfect day. My fiance, Alex, and I both have so many amazing friends and family who will celebrate with us, and everyone is really happy for us.

When we were planning our wedding party, I had a list of friends I wanted to include, and so did Alex, and he wanted his brother to be his best man. I'm really close to my brother, James, he's a nice guy and he just got married this year, but I was looking at all of the groomsmen and people in his party and I realized James would just stick out in all of my photos. I love James, but he's on the heavier side, and he transitioned about ten years ago. I'm worried that if he's in the wedding party, he will take away the attention from me and my fiance, and that he won't fit in with any of my wedding party events. I don't know what the events will be yet, but it's just a concern. Alex and all his friends ski and James doesn't, stuff like that.

James messaged me about a month ago asking if we had suit or color schemes to plan for if he was in the wedding party, because he and his wife, Erica, were booking fittings with tailors for outfits, and that's when I told him that he didn't need to match with the wedding party, because he's not in the wedding party. He asked if Erica was in the bridal party, and I said she wasn't either, but I told him that I wanted them to read something special at the ceremony for us, like a poem that means a lot to me and Alex.

James has been really helpful with helping me with my wedding cake, dress fittings, and going over menu and venue options, and he's been really upbeat and positive about all of this so I was surprised when he got mad at me -- he asked if Alex's brother would be a groomsman and I said yes, and he said he was surprised and upset, and that it would be "unconventional" for one brother to be in the wedding party and the other not to be.

I told him that I was sorry for how he was feeling and reiterated that we wanted to give him a special role by reading something that was special to us as a couple, but I really don't think I'm going to change my mind about the wedding party, it would just give it a different vibe and I think it would be more fun with just my friends and my BIL. But James still seems really upset and he hasn't responded to my text about the reading, but then he said that he wasn't going to help me more with planning elements, and I'm really stressed because I was really relying on his help. My mom thinks it's fine because my brother only had immediate family at his wedding, so there was no wedding party.

AITA for wanting to have my friends in the wedding party, but still have James help me in a different role?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/LivingRefrigerator53 on 2024-01-02 18:40:27+00:00.

TW: Transphobia, Racism, Sexism

Me (M32/white) & my wife (28/Black) got married in June after being together for six years. 10 months before June, my sister Amber (30) started dating Zeke (24/white). 5 months into their relationship, they got engaged. On our wedding day, my other sister (trans woman/31) informed me that she found Zeke's Twitter, which was filled with problematic content.

After the wedding, we looked into Zeke's tweets. They ranged from sexist and transphobic comments to racist identity attacks that me and my wife—the only Black member of my white family—found concerning: things like "Native Americans were not going to advance/deserved to have their land taken", "Black culture is inherently criminal", "The idea that Black people in the US are regularly discriminated against is BS", "Black people don't know what's good for them/need to vote right-wing", "People who call themselves feminists are weak", "Michelle Obama is a tr*nny with man hands", an extremely harmful comment about trans people I can't spell out here, and more.

I visited Amber to have a conversation, something my parents supported (they were also uncomfortable with the tweets). I expressed my concern for Amber, ensured she knew what Zeke believes & says, told her I felt uncomfortable & protective of my wife, said we may not be comfortable spending time around Zeke, & let her know I was sad my relationship with her could be affected. I avoided trying to teach, educate, or convince her to do anything. She was sad but took it fairly well in the moment.

A couple days later we sent a non-accusatory, calm email to my parents & Amber with some educational resources about racism due to comments they made, including that the racist tweets were not more of a concern than Zeke generally "not being nice". We asserted that it's difficult to deny that some of Zeke's tweets had racist ideas/were based on racial biases, & that their deflections created an awfully dismissive experience for my wife.

Everyone thought we were being unfair & unreasonable. Amber said Zeke was unfairly judged, we should've tried to get to know him better, the tweets were just "stuff on the internet", he's no longer transphobic, etc. We were reminded repeatedly how much Zeke & Amber were crying, how hurtful our messages were, how remorseful Zeke was (he even deactivated his Twitter), etc.

Despite how hard it was for us to bring all this up, there was little empathy for us & no curiosity about my wife's experiences. We feel like we can't expect my family to be able to handle conversations like this. My wife was shown we can’t have a safe conversation about her race with my family. It felt like there was a double standard; we were being asked to try harder to understand, accept, & accommodate Zeke, but my family was not willing to do the same for us, even though I still think our concerns, approach, & boundaries are completely valid. We were villainized and Amber & Zeke were made out to be victims. AWTA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/BackgroundPhone389 on 2024-01-02 17:42:28+00:00.

I (29M) have been dating a woman named Olivia (28F) for three years and we recently became engaged. Olivia has a best friend named Ava (27F).

Olivia and I have (or rather we used to) have a good relationship. However, recently I have become concerned for my own safety.

Olivia is a fan of a YouTuber called Mr.Spicygremlin and she showed me one of her videos a couple of days ago because she said it reminded her of her and her best friend. It shows two women stalking their crushes' social media pages to find out where they are going to be. I find it to be weird and disturbing. Here is a link to it

I got annoyed and asked her what she meant. She said that before we started dating she had a crush on me and Ava used to look on my social media page and tell her stuff about me. I felt so betrayed and weirded out. Olivia also was friends with my brother before we started dating and I am now worried that she only became friends with him to get close to me.

Later that night I told Olivia I was going out for some fresh air and went to go stay at my friend's house.

Olivia called me later on that night. She asked me why I lied and I explained that I was worried she wouldn't let me leave if I told her the truth and I had to do it for my safety. I've spoken to my friends about this but a couple of my friends think I overreacted.

AITA for prioritizing my own safety?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/PB7083 on 2024-01-02 17:09:44+00:00.

Throwaway account for obvious reasons but here is a summary of the situation. I need some advice from women or older women in the group. I know you can judge me all you want but I need to discuss it.

I am a 26M and have been married to my 25F wife for 6 years now. We met just before college and dated for 2 years before getting married. While we were dating, I met her family and parents and got to know them very well. I would go over quite often to watch movies, lunch/dinner, or drive around to stores/malls. Everything is going great in our marriage, we have intimacy regularly, and now have two kids. I love them very much.

Well I always felt a connection with her mother, who is 49F and very friendly to me. I was always shyer and did not talk much, but a few years ago, her mom and I began talking more and she really tried to make me feel welcome. We've texted or snap chat almost daily now for 3 years, and she opens up to me about work, how she feels about things going on, and everything. I have started to grow pretty attached to her as well as she is a close friend after so long of talking and hanging out. She regularly will text me first and ask how I slept, how my day is going, or just how work is. Sometimes our conversations are brief due to busyness, but sometimes we talk all day until 11-12.

Well a few months ago, we were both at our respective homes with a day off and she said how hungry she was, and I asked if she wanted to go on a quick date. She was pretty excited and said yes but said we shouldn't tell anyone else or her husband since they may think it's weird. I picked her up and we had a good time talking and eating. We hugged after and she immediately texted me and said how nervous she was at first but had a great time. She promised that it would be our secret. We still text daily and have meaningful conversations, but anytime I offer to take her back out when we are free, she declines or wants to schedule it out.

Her parents still come over and visit quite often and before they leave I always notice her smiling at me and she always makes sure to come hug me even if no one else. I do think she is attractive and she compliments me often, but I am not dumb enough to act on it. One night my wife said that her mom told her that her parents had not been intimate for years and that she gets sad about it sometimes. I have never touched her or attempted to, but I am confused if she wants to keep getting to know me. It is hard for me to read her.

I am not sure if she wants more, to go on more mini dates, or what. I really do like her and don't want to mess it up, it just is hard

Any advice would be great.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/CFPUWAITATHROWAWAY on 2024-01-02 16:54:44+00:00.

I'll (34M) preface this and then get to the point. I am on an airplane home from New Orleans.  My wife turns 30 on January 8th. The same day that my beloved Washington Huskies are playing in the national title game. I'm still a season ticket holder even though I don't live in Seattle.  I grew up in Seattle (live elsewhere now), and grew up going to Washington Husky games.  Met some of the best friends of my life tailgating and going to football games.  Our college years literally had a winless season. 

My wife makes a big deal of her birthday and her turning 30 is a big deal to her and wanted   But going to the national championship game is a big deal to me.  She's known that Washington playing in this game has been a possibility for a while.  When I broached the topic of going she shot it down.  However, now that it is a reality she really doesn't want to go.  and I quote "I don't want to fucking spend my birthday in Houston".  

My friends are going and its been a lifelong dream to watch UW play for a natty.  I've purchased a flight and am in the group of tickets with my friends. I've promised to make it up to her, but its icy in our house right now. We've had a few arguments.  She'll have a birthday next year, UW might not get to this level for a long time.  AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Throwaway-2024-NYE on 2024-01-02 16:46:17+00:00.

On NYE my husband (40m) and I (40f) went to my parents house (61f and 69m) and brought our kids (9m and 7f). My daughter wanted to sleep over with her cousins (10f and 8m) at my parents, and my son wanted to go back home. So I asked my parents if they were ok if we left my daughter overnight (she’s slept there before) and we would get her in the morning, and they said “yes absolutely.”

We left around 930/10pm as my daughter and her cousins were getting ready for bed.

When I called the next morning at 9am to see how everything went, my mom said all the kids were still sleeping. I was kind of surprised since my daughter wakes up around 630am, so I asked what time they went to bed. My mom says she doesn’t know because she went to sleep around 1030pm and the kids were still up. I said uhhh what? How do you not wait until they go to bed? She said my dad was up and he was watching them. They finally wake up at 930am.

When I get there at 11am to pick my daughter up, she had yet to eat breakfast. My mom said they didn’t want to eat, they weren’t hungry. Then I find out they didn’t go to bed until 3AM!!! She is 7 years old! My dad claimed they didn’t want to go to bed so he didn’t force them. I get it was NYE and they wanted to stay up with their cousins, but is this not irresponsible??

I got so mad - when I left my daughter I assumed they would take care of her, assure she got to bed on time and feed her breakfast when she woke up. Neither happened. She finally ate about an hour and a half later when I was there waiting for her to finish breakfast.

My dad got mad at me and said I don’t appreciate them. I said I entrusted my daughter in their care and they failed to keep her rested and fed. He said he was with them all night and it was fine (apparently they all ate cereal at 2am). But she was a total zombie on New Year’s Day, was super tired and complained she was very dizzy. She went to bed at 6pm last night and woke up at 8am today.

So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Familiar_Income_5987 on 2024-01-02 16:38:11+00:00.

Every year my (19F) mom goes all out for Christmas. I mean, it’s extreme. We have three trees and our whole house is filled with Christmas stuff. She works in a very demanding industry (music) and December is the only time of the year that is really “slow” with her office being closed the last two weeks of the year, so she goes nuts baking and decorating and basically pretending to be a 50s housewife since it’s the only time she really can.

We did have nice birthdays and when we got older she would take us to musical festivals, but they were always genres I really didn’t like, but I guess it was fun going backstage.

Every year we also do a “Christmas craft” on Christmas Eve. We have done it since me and my brother (16M) were little. Things like doing gingerbread houses or making ornaments.

This year is my first year away at college. I still live in the same city as my parents, but I wanted some independence so I decided to live near campus. My parents supported this and do cover my tuition and rent. My friends were not going home for Christmas so they decided to throw a party on Christmas Eve. I told my mom I wanted to go to the party instead of coming over Christmas Eve. She sounded bummed, but I told her I was getting too old for her Christmas obsession anyway and wanted to do my own thing. I went to the party and had a ton of fun with my friends.

I went to my parents house for Christmas day. I admit I was a bit later than I said I would be because I was hung over, but I still went. I asked my family what they ended up doing for the Christmas Eve craft and I found out they made wreaths out of a bunch of my mom’s ornaments as well as vintage ones she went around to thrift shops to find. I was upset. My mom keeps the craft a surprise and if I had known it would be a special one I may have shown up! I asked my mom why she didn’t tell me and she said “You know it's always a surprise.” Since she had already bought the supplies for me to make one before I decided to go to the party, my mom ended up making two. I asked her if I could have one of the ones she made and I would keep it up in my apartment all year. She said no because she “likes hers and wants to keep them.”

I also noticed she didn’t put up my Christmas stocking with everyone else's. I had the gifts I would normally get, but the stocking was put away. I asked why and she said “I thought you were too old for my Christmas obsession.”

I got upset and told her all this Christmas shit annoys everyone and she is being petty. My brother and dad said not to speak for them because they like doing the Christmas craft every year with my mom and like all her decorations. I told my brother that maybe once he grew up some he would also want some independence and not want to waste his Christmas Eve gluing shit.

Christmas was awkward of course, and I ended up leaving before NYE. My brother still says I’m being an asshole, but I think he’s just sucking up to mom, so AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ghostpenalty on 2024-01-02 15:42:31+00:00.

I (30M) have been married to my wife (29F) for 6 years but have known her and her family since high school. For the last few years my wife and her mom have been on and off with arguing and settling disputes. Recently, there was a major fallout between the 2 concerning childhood trauma that her mom would consistently disagree with stating "I had it rougher in my day" going on about how my wife would remember things wrong or it was hard on her mom since she was a single mom who never married. Though, according to my wife, she CHOSE to stay single since her mom is one of those "I don't need no man" and considers my wife and I a weakness since my wife "gets help" with raising our own kids.

Generally, during these arguments, I would sit on the sidelines mostly trying to mind my business. I do listen, of course, and I feel if I said anything that it wouldn't be my place to step in. My wife would almost always say I need to defend her against her mom and I still don't know if I should. I am all for defending my wife and I am on her side. I just do not feel like it is my place to get between a mother/daughter dispute. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/TheBeastLukeMilked on 2024-01-02 15:41:39+00:00.

I was on an airplane recently, and midway through the flight, the man sitting in front of me reclined his seat the entire way back. Since that left me with basically no room, I reclined my seat shortly afterward. In the seat behind me was a woman, and immediately, as soon as I reclined my seat, her husband sitting next to her asked me to put my seat back up.

I did as he asked, but before doing so, I said in a rather upset manner, "Why do I have to be the nice guy here? You should've told the guy in front of me to put his seat up, he was the one who started this". He nodded his head but didn't do anything.

A few minutes later, once I'd calmed down a bit, I asked the guy in front to put his seat up. He had headphones on, so I had to get up and walk over to him to get his attention. He complied without saying anything. That was the end of it.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/CelebrationSuch4445 on 2024-01-02 15:21:02+00:00.

I started my OnlyFans page about six months ago, and it's been going pretty well. Recently, one of my subscribers caught my eye - let's call him "Alex." Alex is in his mid-20s, and lives in another state. We hit it off right away, and before long, we were talking every day.

Things took an interesting turn when I stumbled upon something on instagram that made me question whether or not I should continue selling content to Alex. It turns out that Alex is actually married! Now, I know that many people use fake names on OnlyFans, so at first, I wasn't too surprised. But then, I did some digging and discovered that the profile picture Alex used was indeed a photo of himself... With his wedding ring clearly visible with his wife !

At this point, I felt conflicted. On the one hand, I don't condone infidelity, and I certainly wouldn't want anyone else finding out what I do for work if my husband was still around. On the other hand, Alex has always been incredibly kind and generous, and our conversations have become a real source of comfort during these isolating times. Plus, I could really use the extra cash right now, especially since business hasn't been as good as usual due to the pandemic.

So far, I haven't said anything to Alex about his marital status, and he doesn't seem to suspect a thing. Part of me feels guilty about continuing to sell him content while knowing the truth, but another part of me just can't bring myself to cut ties with someone who's brought so much money into my life lately. What would you do in my shoes, Reddit? Am I the asshole here?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/defencelessthrowaway on 2024-01-02 14:26:49+00:00.

This is such a stupid issue but it’s really becoming a huge thing and I need some outside views on whether this is a real problem.

Background - My (25f) dad has a best friend, “Steve”. Steve has two kids - “Jane” (24f) and “Nate” (26m). Jane and I have been best friends most of our lives, while Nate and I have never got along. As old as we are, we get “revertigo” around each other, and tend to bicker over stupid things. I’m not proud of it, because i am generally a calm person and I take a laissez faire approach to life and conflict, but there’s something about Nate that just irritates me, and he’s the same. Both super calm people, we just can’t stand each other.

Me and my boyfriend “Eric” (26m) were staying with my dad and his wife over Christmas, and Steve (who has a house nearby) was hosting Jane and her family, and Nate, so we all had a Boxing Day meal together. After lunch, Jane, her husband, Nate, Eric and I were sitting in the den, when Nate made a snide comment about me. I fired back and we got into an argument. It got quite heated, but it was still just childish insults.

During the argument, Nate called me an idiot, and Eric snapped back that he shouldn’t talk to me like that and called Nate uneducated (technically true but an incredibly nasty and below the belt thing to say, given context). I told Eric to butt out of the argument, which kind of fizzled out after his comment.

That evening, we got into a fight about it, because I was embarrassed about what he said, and how he waded into the conversation. Eric said he felt like he had to defend me and was very offended by what Nate said. I told him what Nate said wasn’t a big deal, but him commenting on the education level of someone he doesn’t know, when he wasn’t even involved in the argument, was unnecessary. I don’t need defending, not from him and not like that.

Eric is still sulking about it and making passive aggressive comments about how he doesn’t want to do anything for me because I clearly don’t need him. As put off as I am by his behaviour, a couple of my friends have said I was wrong to go off on him for being protective of me. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/bigbooby_baggins on 2024-01-02 11:06:07+00:00.

I can assure that I (along with the rest of the world) know that my wife that she’s so jaw droppingly stunning. This wasn’t a matter of my wife being not attractive, just that her sister has a resume and career build on being attractive. My wife’s family is hot. My wife is gorgeous. However, her sister was a literal Victoria secret model in 2010. And that’s just not something us normal people can compete with in all honestly. And, it just kinda came up incredibly inconveniently…

So my (M36) wife’s (F28) family (parents, sister, brother in law, and their newborn) stayed with us over the holidays. We switch off every year, and sometimes we even have both our family’s together which is awesome since everyone surprisingly has so much fun.

This NYE, I will concede got a bit out of hand. I personally had a few too many shots and cocktails, but it was New Year’s Eve and everyone was celebrating and having a good time. I certainly wasn’t the only person slurring my words of the end of the night. Anyway, after midnight the adults were gathered around playing some sort of funny new game my wife found at target, my wife literally sitting on my lap. We had all been having a great time, my brother-in-law giving me shit and teasing me all night , me trying as best I can to keep up with his wit. The room always full of laughter. That sort of vibe.

Well it all came to a crashing halt when my MIL picked up a card “hottest person in the room” and it was my turn to answer. Immediately, I answered her sisters name but It was obvious to the whole room what an honest answer would be. I love my wife and think she’s so hot, but I don’t think it’s fair to hold her beauty In competition with a VS model. Which just happens to be her sister, sitting directly across from me. Yes, maybe I shouldn’t have been so honest but I was drunk and we’d all been saying crazy stuff and joking around all night I guess it just felt safe? My wife has barely looked at me since and won’t let me try to apologize and explain my perspective and validate that I think she is literally a goddess in my eyes. None of her family seemed to be overly bothered by it besides an awkward laugh, but everyone can feel things are tense between me and wifey.

Okay be honest, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Vast-Experience5133 on 2024-01-02 10:20:21+00:00.

Hope this makes sense, not good at words and english is not my first language. I (18F) have two cousins, Clara (25F) and Maya (22F), they are sisters.

Maya is an absolute angel and honestly one of the coolest people I know. Clara is a bit of a menace and has a very unique personality, so she kind of doesn't get along very well with most of the family including me.

They have a very complex dynamic. When Maya is going through a rough time, they are friendly. Like, Maya has gone through some hardships like being bullied and institutionalized, and when those things were happening Clara was generally sympathethic.

Buuuut when Maya is doing fine, or god-forbid better than Clara is doing, Clara turns into an absolute monster. My personal guess is that she starts seeing her as a rival and then goes "destroy mode", but Idk exactly why. She starts picking fights every chance she gets, bad-mouthing her sister, and basically doing insane shit to try and ruin her sister's life.

The problem is that in recent years Maya has been THRIVING, and Clara is dealing with it as she usually does: making every family reunion absolutely miserable. The mere sight of Maya is enough to set her off these days, and her most recent stunts have made Maya basically go low contact with Clara and their mom.

I was dreading the New Year's Family Reunion because I knew Clara would probably start more drama (it can start literally any way: someone will greet her sister more warmly than they did with her and then she'll start yelling about us liking her sister more and how she's not that special, things like that). And then my dad told me that Maya was going to bring her boyfriend, which made everything worse because Clara has a whole thing about stealing Maya's boyfriend and it didn't work with this one and it was going to make everything even more uncomfortable.

I decided to take action and texted Maya after Christmas begging for her to not come because her sister would cause conflict again and I just wanted peace for the New Years. She texted back that she was sad but understood. I offered to pay for her flight back but she just said she would go to a nearby beach with her boyfriend.

New Years Eve happened and I could mostly sucessfully avoid being anywhere near Clara and didn't have to hear yelling, so I consider my plan a success. Maya posted an Instagram story about her having fun at the beach with her boyfriend so she was happy too. My siblings however, have discovered what I did and think I was extremely out of line and that I robbed everyone of Maya's presence.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/bemert1 on 2024-01-02 06:20:04+00:00.

I 44f have an uncle Willie 65m who most of us dislike. He’s a mean drunk and a huge jerk at most times. Surprisingly, this story is not about him. 2023 has been a train wreck for our family. I had an emergency hysterectomy in sep. and a double mastectomy last week. Willie was diagnosed with colon cancer and my two favorite uncles also had life changing medical events. All this has been super hard on my mom (she’s actually my great grandmother 96f)

While the rest of us have been focused on being positive and caring to one another, my uncle Marshall 62m has become a raging ah. I literally cried for Willie yesterday because even he doesn’t deserve to be mistreated for simply going to the bathroom. I know what it’s like to feel like a burden and I wouldn’t even wish it on Willie. Mom is constantly jumpy around him and I have panic attacks just thinking about going over there.

My bio mom 60 f had a talk with Marshall and things are slowly improving but I want to tell him off because he’s making everything more difficult for everyone else. I get that he has pent up anger but he’s making everyone suffer and I desperately need my mother sometimes. Am I being selfish to just want a little peace when I’m there?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/badbilliam on 2024-01-02 06:03:28+00:00.

Hi, I asked my girlfriend if I could have one of her chocolates from a box of chocolates. She said something along the lines of "yes". I proceed to visualize what each one would taste like, before deciding on a nice round one that looked great, it happened to be a coconut filling chocolate. To my surprise, she got upset with me for eating that specific chocolate because that one was her favorite.

She feels justified that it was sufficiently inconsiderate to warrant getting upset over, and on the other hand I feel as though if she said yes to my request to eat a chocolate from her box of chocolates, that I should be okay to pick any one of the chocolates in there and eat it.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Impressive-Ad-7226 on 2024-01-02 23:34:33+00:00.

Me and my girlfriend have been going through a lot of arguements and we're just going through a rough patch in our relationship. I love her more than anything but there is something I'm really uncomfortable about. She has all of her exes gifts and clothing stuffed into a corner of her closet. I have known for a while and I just thought she would donate and throw them away over time. But one day we were going to go out for a walk and she gave me a jacket to wear because it was cold, but she said "dont ask whose that is". As you can guess it was her first serious relationships jacket. I found it disrespectful and told her she should get rid of it and never offer me one of her exes belongings again. I didnt let it ruin our day though so we went out for the walk and had a good rest of our day. Now a month later it got brought up again because I was starting to get more and more uncomfortable with it so I asked her what she was going to do with all of there belongings and she told me that she is going to keep them to show her kids in the future. I was not on board with this idea at all. We had an arguement and I was being a little harsh to her but I was trying to get my point across. I think it's weird and makes me uncomfortable. I know if she were in the same position I am like if I had some bracelets, or cologne or some clothing that me and my ex used to match, then she would immediately get mad at me and want me to throw them out. AITA??

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Icy_Leopard_7759 on 2024-01-02 21:30:33+00:00.

I lost my daughter Abby 7 years ago. She was married to Scott and had three children with him who are now 11, 12 and 14. Scott and my grandkids stayed part of the family and last year Scott remarried. His current wife is Beth. We all knew Beth for a few years prior to the wedding and she was always very friendly. Though at times she could be a little pushy. Scott would always handle that though. After they got married Beth's pushiness got worse and Scott appears to have lost control.

Beth was upset when she dropped my grandkids off one day that we had not added photos of her to our house and commented as such. In our living room we have a display with photos of our kids and their weddings. She felt her and Scott's wedding should be there.

She was upset when my grandkids spent Mother's Day with us and our extended family and we did not include her. Scott wasn't invited either. Mother's Day is a difficult day for him due to a bad relationship with his own mother. But Beth said we should invite her too because she's part of the family and then she said she's one of our kids too. I asked her what she meant and she told me she is obviously going to be one of our kids now that she's the mother figure for our grandkids. I told Scott what she said and he was embarrassed and told me he would speak to her.

Beth was also upset when my husband posted on Facebook to say something about our kids and she didn't get mentioned as one of our kids, but as Scott's wife (we mentioned Scott and how wonderful he was to Abby and how wonderful he is as a father).

For my grandson's 14th birthday, we were all together and he wanted a "mom's side" photo. Beth attempted to get into the photo and when Scott tried to remind her she said she's part of the family now. He pulled her aside and the photo was taken without her. But she told one of my sons after that she felt like we weren't treating her as a daughter and then said Scott never treated her as a lesser wife.

We saw them a little over Christmas and Beth was upset that we got them a joint gift (for her and Scott) instead of getting her one alone. She told me she's tired of feeling like she's not really family and she said she feels like we always put Abby first when she's here now. I saw red after this and I told her she can never take my daughter's place and the fact she ever thought she could is outrageous. She told me the kids call her mom and they think the world of her so why wouldn't we. I told her the kids have always called her Beth when I hear them and she turned around and said that's our fault because the kids should be calling her mom and they don't. She lost it from there. Beth stormed out and I explained what happened to Scott. He apologized and left the kids with us so he could speak to her.

I think they worked it out but Beth said I was needlessly cruel to imply she's not as good as Abby and doesn't deserve to be our daughter. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ExpensiveOutsider on 2024-01-02 21:19:09+00:00.

Me (24F) and my fiance(28M) has been friends long before we started dating. So 5 years ago he had a girlfriend (26F) and things seemed to be getting serious he spoke about getting engaged to her but she kept saying no, or laughing it off as if he had made a joke. One day they decide to get wrist tattoos together. He still tried proposing to her but she just kept laughing it off. Two and a half years into the relationship and he caught her cheating on him with her ex Liam and they broke up

After a year or so we ended up getting together and everything went well. We got engaged a year ago. I have seen the tattoo before and found it a bit odd but was still fine with it up until I found chats between my fiance and his ex girlfriend, 6 months after we got engaged. He spoke about each time he looked at it, it reminded him of her and the physical scar she left on him. He asked if she removed hers and thats when I found out that she has the same tattoo. They then spoke about the fact that they will always be part of each others lives in a way.

I have asked him to get the tattoo removed or to cover it with another. It makes me uncomfortable knowing that he has the tattoo and makes me feel like I am sharing him with another woman daily. We have been in multiple fights because of this. To me it seems like he doesn't take my feelings into consideration.

I've been trying to find a way to stall our wedding plans as I cannot get married to a man that has a tattoo that reminds him of another woman.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/PoisonIvy9495 on 2024-01-02 21:01:58+00:00.

A few weeks ago I found out I was pregnant. This is my 3rd pregnancy and I have 2 children. Unfortunately, this one didn’t make it. I made my first OB appointment within the week of finding out and had a convo with my husband about keeping the pregnancy quiet until well after the first trimester as I wanted my mental peace. I have had an extremely rocky relationship with my in-laws and I just want my peace at this point. I want it quiet. No drama. I felt some cramping and had spotting which I’ve never had before so this worried me.

I called my OB and asked if it’s normal. She said we can’t really say what’s normal. Every body is different. But if you see any bright red blood, go to the ER. This was Friday and on Saturday, I started passing blood clots. It scared me so my husband and I went to the hospital. We called everyone we could trust to watch the kids and who wouldn’t ask us any questions to no avail.

So unfortunately we had to ask my FIL to watch the kids so I could go to the hospital. My FIL is nosy and can’t keep his mouth shut about anything. He’s also uneducated so we gave him minimal info that we knew he couldn’t process. 6/7hours after being in the ER, it wasn’t looking good but there was still hope. I had a subchorionic hematoma. Low fetal heartbeat. I started bleeding bright red after we went to go pick up our children from my FIL. He asked my husband what happened and he told him I had a uterine tear. We left and before we know it, he told my SIL and MIL.

For reference, my MIL and FIL are not married and haven’t been for over 12 years. My FIL is also remarried now. They have all mistreated me in some way but all through backbiting and passive aggressive treatment. SIL called my husband and asked what happened to me and he told her even though I explicitly asked him not to.

I’m angry with my husband and I’m still grieving. The sorrow comes and goes in waves. And when the waves come, they hit hard. MIL had two miscarriages so my husband feels like I should let her in because she knows how I feel. AITA for wanting nothing to do with her at all? And being extremely angry and feeling betrayed that he did this? I’d like to try getting pregnant again but later this year and at this point, I feel like I shouldn’t even tell him until I feel ready to tell his family which is after the second trimester or not at all? (I do understand that’s not practical but that’s how I feel)

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Key_Sun_9715 on 2024-01-02 20:28:17+00:00.

My parents named me (15M) Robin and my sister Skye (18F). Our grandparents hate my name. They don't say much about my sister's name other than the name is very new age for them and classic names are way better. But ever since I was young they have brought up that my name is a girls name and traditionally it has always been used more for girls. There were times they tried to convince me to go by my middle name (Alexander) or would try to make me believe kids would bully me or were bullying me already and I was just too naive to notice. My parents would tell them to stop and we took a 4 year break from them when I was in middle school. But even with that and with them apologizing, they have not stopped saying it.

A few months ago I did some research into the name and saw that in past centuries, Robin was was used for way more guys than girls. It seems like it was originally just a guys name but that could be a little off. Now it's totally unisex but more girls have the name.

They brought up my name again and I showed them the stuff I printed off the internet, since they like to read paper and not screens. They dismissed it all as being misleading and saying only girls had naturey names back in the day. And all of them lean more feminine. They then told me Robin will get me mistaken for a girl a lot more in the future and I will notice it more in my professional life so why don't I start using Alexander or pick another actual boys name. I told them they could just call me Rob if Robin bothers them so much. My sister told them to think of Robin Williams too.

They said Rob would only work if my real name was Robert and all sorts of other bullshit and then they told me to accept that Robin is a girls name and do myself the favor my parents refused to do for me. I told them they were stupid for bringing it up so often and refusing to believe the facts I had shown them. I said Robin is unisex and I am sick and tired of them telling me I have a girls name.

My grandparents lost their minds and told my parents, who weren't upset with me, but extended family said I should have kept calm like always.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Specific-Welder8559 on 2024-01-02 20:08:30+00:00.

So my(37f) sister(40f) and I admittedly have never had the closest relationship, she encouraged my being bullied growing up. And don't think she's ever "forgiven" my husband and I for getting pregnant less than a year after she had her first kid and give "subtle jabs" at how I'm a stay at home mom and my "easy life" ever since my oldest was born. Her kids are 15m and 12m.

Anyway for Christmas this year my husband(40m) got himself, both our children(14m and 13f), and myself each a steamdeck for Christmas. He and I have been enjoying ours and our kids have been glued to theirs. Naturally they took their new toys with them to grandma and Grandpas when we went to visit, like most kids do with new tablets and games.

My sister lives with my parents because we'll frankly rent is too dam high for a single mom with two kids in this city. I can't blame her plus then mom and dad have someone close if there's an emergency.

After we got done with our extended family Christmas my kids got out their steamdecks and started playing, and their cousins were playing on the new phones their grandparents got them.

My sister had some sort of attitude once my kids got on their decks, saying how kids should be spending time with their grandparents on the holidays not their toys. Never mind that's what hers were doing. A while later I guess my niblings started bothering my sister about how next birthday they wanted a steamdeck too. I guess this made her mad because she came into the kitchen where mom and I were making supper and started ranting at me about how we spoil our kids and how we should think how that will affect others and their kids and not raise ours to be entitled brats.

I didn't quite understand what was happening nor did mom. Eventually she said she "knew" we only got our kids such expensive gifts to make her look bad and make her kid jealous because I "always" have to one up her after she does something.

I kinda lost it and I told her to shut it, that my hubby and I just wanted to give out kids nice things, we couldn't care less if her or her kids are jealous or not. We are parents not competitors.

It all kind of blew up from there. Mom says I may not have been in the wrong but it would be nice if I had my kids keep their things off of social media and away from my niblings so my sister doesn't have more "melt downs"

Was I TA?