Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Noonehere79 on 2024-01-19 06:19:15+00:00.

My girlfriend (32F) and I (41M) have an online relationship and have done so for about 6 months.

We meet up when we can but most of our communication is via FaceTime, phone and text.

She lives in a rural area and due to a complete lack of rental accommodation she still lives in the same house as her ex finance (38m) with their two kids. They separated 2 years ago after he cheated on and had a 12 months relationship with another woman in secret. They have separate bedrooms and live separate lives but work together on raising the kids.

Recently she mentioned she was taking the kids away on a vacation. It had been planned for months but she hadn’t mentioned it to me. It wasn’t until after the trip started that I found out she had taken the ex with her. That detail had not been mentioned once in any discussion around the vacation. I’m told this was a last minute change due to him being able to get time off work.

When I came to the realisation that he was there with her I voiced my concern at not having been informed that she was taking her ex on a trip with her. I expected some acknowledgment that this was, at the very least, a pretty significant oversight on her part and some sign that she understood going on vacation with her ex was absolutely something I would expect to be told and that I was justified in feeling upset by the omission.

The reaction was very different. She informed me that what ever steps she takes to allow her children to spend time with their father is up to her and none of my business. She thought she had told me but in any case the situation doesn’t affect me and it’s up to her what she does. She also informs me that by starting an argument over this I have ruined part of a vacation that I know she needed and is now refusing to speak to me until she calms down.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/d_reverence on 2024-01-19 06:18:49+00:00.

(For context, we live in a college town where parking generally is pretty difficult and most places have either visitor parking, or metered parking).

EDIT: (FURTHER CONTEXT, my apartment has designated yellow visitor parking spots. Most of my friends know this since they have been here before, although he's been here a lot more.)

My friend and I were getting together to play a card game, and we decided to do it at my place (an apartment) rather than his (a house that he rents). There wasn't really any reason; I just didn't want to drive and asked him to come over instead and he said sure. He's been to my place multiple times before but not for extended periods of time or when I pick him up.

After we decide to call it a night, he asks me "Your apartment doesn't tow, right?" to which I respond "Yes, they do. I saw someone being towed recently." He goes outside and he doesn't have a car. He comes back in and instead of asking what we should do about this, he flat up tells me multiple times that I will be paying the whole amount.

I understood he was upset so I didn't argue or respond really, I just dropped him off at the towing place as he wanted to get it tonight (there is a $100 after-hours fee, but since we have a snowstorm he'd prefer it now). He tells me that I need to Venmo him $275 (the cost of the towing) and he would cover the after-hours fee.

He later texts me that I owe him 275, to which I respond that I don't agree, and after I had some conversations with my roommates, they suggested maybe splitting the cost with him (me paying $150). I texted him that I would pay 150 if he wanted, and he responded with things like "Don't speak to me till you send my money," "Pay me my money to don't fucking talk to me," and "That 150 can count towards the 275 you owed me." I told him to sleep it over and think about me offering $150 and he told me that he decided to unadd him on everything and not to contact him till I "paid him his money."

(For added context, although this might not be fair to him, he dropped me off at my place yesterday and I mentioned that I saw someone getting towed here and made a joke to which he responded.)

I understand that I might be partly liable and should have checked again when he showed up, but if he's going to keep being an asshole about it am I in my right to refuse to pay him anything? My patience is already pretty thin.

Thanks!

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Myheadhurtshelp6014 on 2024-01-19 06:06:50+00:00.

I work at a liquor store. For context it is against the law where I live for a minor to handle liquor inside the store and if I’m caught allowing that to happen I could get in a lot of trouble and the store I work at could get fined a shit ton of money.

This mother came in with her two kids, the daughter looked 8ish and the son looked 15 max. (Legal age is 18). I greet them in passing and they say hi but when they come to the till I notice the son is carrying a bottle of wine and he sets it down on the counter.

I say to both him and his mother “I’m sorry but unfortunately minors are not allowed to carry alcohol in the store.” He immediately looks taken a bit offended and says “I’m not a minor.” At this point I feel a little bad for being presumptuous but even if he is of age I still need to check his ID at this point since he has already carried it to the till, even if he is technically not the one paying for it.

I reply “oh ok, do you have ID on you?” He replies “it’s not for me, it’s for her” pointing to his mother. I say “yeah but if you’re carrying alcohol in the store you do need to have your ID on you.” The mother quickly snaps back and me and angerly repeats a few more times that he’s not the one buying the alcohol he was just carrying it for her because her hands were full holding her daughter’s hand. I tried to explain to her that it doesn’t matter who is paying for it or that he’s her son, he cannot carry alcohol in the store without being prepared to show ID. I cannot get any of my thoughts out at this point because she keeps cutting me off and repeating that it’s for her not him. Eventually she gives up, says “ok so you don’t want my money” and storms out with her kids in tow. It’s hard for me to explain in text how angry she was but she was getting really really angry and combative, basically yelling at me. I couldn’t explain my side to her because she wouldn’t let me speak.

I didn’t say this to her but imo having her hands full is a bad excuse because people come in here all the time carrying toddlers or with multiple young children and still manage to carry their own booze. Unfortunately the law doesn’t care if her hands were full. They don’t care about context. All they care about is that a minor/ a young adult with no ID was carrying alcohol in the store and that I sold it anyway. She could’ve asked myself or my coworker for help or had her son hold the hand of her daughter instead so she could carry the wine.

Where I think I might be the asshole is off the bat assuming he was a minor instead of just asking for ID. Maybe they would not have been so combative with me if I hadn’t offended them by assuming but he really did look super young. I get why that would offend people but I wasn’t trying to offend them. I can’t help but think I should’ve said something different.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Iucr on 2024-01-19 05:55:06+00:00.

There’s this childhood "friend” in the circle of friends and family. Always trying hard and being competitive. Me, with my social anxiety, who didn't have many friends. I took insults and humiliations lightly. I thought it was normal.

I grew up in a toxic circle. I was never the best at studying. And this friend was able to join the reserve force and study engineering. He always mentioned his achievements, sometimes exaggerated, with pride. Of course, I congratulated him, as I always do.

I went my own way, and computer science wasn't for me. Fortunately, I started out in aviation and was well qualified to become a commercial pilot.

That's when he openly tried to discourage me. He told me it was too expensive and too risky. When I told him to shut up, he started texting me to let him know when I fail life. We'd laugh together. I didn't know anyone could harbor such hatred. I remember that becoming a pilot was probably his top 3 dream, but his 3 or 4 medical class/history won’t allow him. Now that I realize it, he's always had a grudge against my overall existence. I know it's weird.

He started taking my "bad" pictures and editing them, making memes. He is always playing with my image, literally. He's a social media and attention junkie apparently. He tries to attack me every chance. I ignore and he plays with my picture now.

I happened to find a picture of his dorm where he took a pic as a joke. I wondered if I should retaliate. He was wearing a prayer clothes with the military vest. You can imagine. He tried to terrorize my reputation and dominate me at this point.

Edit: I needed to write it to off my chest. Thanks for the replies. I really hate my crush seeing his edited pictures of me tho.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/OJ_FreshSqueeze on 2024-01-19 05:48:54+00:00.

I (M) am in college and recently got assigned to a group project with a girl in my class (let's call her Jane), which is entirely online. I was under the impression that we had to meet up via zoom in order to record this project together, so I asked Jane when she's available to meet. She gave me times and I didn't do anything out of pocket except for calling her homie one time (I didn't mean anything by it, but I can understand the discomfort).

I asked the professor for clarification as well and she said that meeting like this would be ideal. I sent my professor's response to Jane and she asked what it was in response to, so I said that I asked if we had to meet up and do it together (I didn't specifically say on zoom, but I already implied this earlier) or do it separately.

Next thing you know my phone gets blown up by her boyfriend (let's say John) calling me 9 times in a row and being abrasive when I asked who he was, neglecting to actually tell me the problem and threatening me instead. A mutual friend let me know who John was and I told him he had nothing to worry about. I said sorry and let Jane know I wasn't trying to cause any problems and I still haven't gotten a response, so I'm hoping we can work this out before the deadline.

I can understand being a little uncomfortable about something like this, but this seems like an insane overreaction and I would've much preferred an actual discussion instead of this girl telling her boyfriend and me being treated like this over what is essentially a non-issue. I should also mention I’ve never met Jane and had no idea about her boyfriend. At the same time, I'm conflicted since I might've seemed a little forward and I'm genuinely wondering if I did something that deserved this reaction.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/aitaxxxxxxxxxx on 2024-01-19 05:42:03+00:00.

I think it’s mostly in my title. I keep a very clean house and am a big time germaphobe. One rule I live by is that everyone who comes into my house HAS to take their shoes off at the front door. I definitely don’t want street dirt in my home.

I recently held a small gathering for a book club that I recently joined. The club rotates who hosts the gathering once a month. Last week it was my turn.

Here’s why I’m wondering if I’m an AH-

One of our members, Sandra (not real name) uses a wheelchair. She’s a lovely person and is very capable. When she came over to my house, I politely asked everyone to take their shoes off, and asked Sandra to leave her wheelchair at the front door.

She got very upset and asked how she’s supposed to do that. I told her that she can use our computer chair and I could push her around. She argued that that is not at all the same. I told her those are the rules of my house, and I’m not allowing someone to basically drive a car in my living room.

Sandra decided she was just going to leave, and a couple of our other members said I was disgusting and left too. I just think it’s rude to put dirty tires in someone’s house. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/aitaxxxxxxxxxx on 2024-01-19 05:42:03+00:00.

I think it’s mostly in my title. I keep a very clean house and am a big time germaphobe. One rule I live by is that everyone who comes into my house HAS to take their shoes off at the front door. I definitely don’t want street dirt in my home.

I recently held a small gathering for a book club that I recently joined. The club rotates who hosts the gathering once a month. Last week it was my turn.

Here’s why I’m wondering if I’m an AH-

One of our members, Sandra (not real name) uses a wheelchair. She’s a lovely person and is very capable. When she came over to my house, I politely asked everyone to take their shoes off, and asked Sandra to leave her wheelchair at the front door.

She got very upset and asked how she’s supposed to do that. I told her that she can use our computer chair and I could push her around. She argued that that is not at all the same. I told her those are the rules of my house, and I’m not allowing someone to basically drive a car in my living room.

Sandra decided she was just going to leave, and a couple of our other members said I was disgusting and left too. I just think it’s rude to put dirty tires in someone’s house. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/throwaway-aitahh on 2024-01-18 21:37:50+00:00.

So my brother(m39) is very very angry with me(f40). He has been with his fiancée (f25) for 2 years and since then every family gathering with them included has been 100% vegan and the reason is that his fiancée can’t “be around meat”. Honestly, I never found it an issue, I love vegan foods and I don’t believe one vegan meal would kill you. We have had one vegan Christmas at my parents (the other Christmas they celebrated with her family) anyway not all were indifferent about that as I was and I heard gossip and complaints. I just usually grab some popcorn.

Unfortunately the drama this time is about me. I’m turning 40 in two weeks and I have made reservations in a restaurant. I sent the invitations. My brother immediately answered that I have forgotten “the rule”. On further inquiry he explained that the restaurant wasn’t vegan. I said that I knew that but that it had vegan options that looked delicious. One of my closest friends is vegan too and I put her and SIL in mind when choosing but most importantly I put myself in mind and I really liked the restaurant.

He called me angry and yelling telling me they always knew I didn’t like her. What are you talking about of course I like your fiancée. Now family is in the middle siding with me vs little bro. His fiancee is very upset at him as well as at me and saying I never liked her. Even told him that she couldn’t be with him if his family hated her like that so he is very angry and telling me I am ruining his relationship

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Ultimate_Hunter_G on 2024-01-18 21:25:59+00:00.

Gonna keep this one brief.

Me, I am a College Student, so I had a way of signing up for Peacock Premium for a reduced rate. I originally got it for the FNAF movie, but I have branched out. They also have La Brea, which is a mom and I show. Plus I have engaged in some of my guilty pleasures. [Trolls movie series]. That said, since FNAF holds a special place in my heart, the PFP I set for myself is Freddy Fazbear himself.

Either way, this is not about that. You might be wondering why my Aunt has my Peacock Account. The answer is my Uncle.

My Dad, my Dad's Fiance [Maria], and I went to go visit my Grandparents, and turns out my Uncle Jerry was visiting from out of state. We visited on football night, so my grandfather, my dad, and Uncle Jerry were trying to watch the game. Bad news: whatever my Grandpa uses to get his channels on his TV failed.

Uncle Jerry said we could use Peacock to watch it, but since they don't have an account they'd need to pay for it. This is where I came in. I signed in on his ipad and they watched it a bit on there, but then they wanted to scale up so I signed in on my Grandparents' Firestick. Simple as that. They enjoyed the game and then soon we left for home.

A few days pass and I don't hear anything, but then I get a text from my Aunt Melinda [Jerry's Wife] saying "You need to change the picture on your peacock account. It's too scary for me and the kids."

Uncle Jerry has two sons, and they're 10 and 7 respectively. They're also very much of the Christian Faith, so I bring that up because their household is not conducive to horror. However, Freddy holds a dear place in my heart for many reasons that I won't outline here.

I told Aunt Melinda that I didn't want to and she said that I still need to. I then told her "If you don't want to see Freddy every time you open Peacock, get your own account." and stopped responding. Aunt Melinda isn't a particularly vindictive person, so I think that's why she didn't respond directly to me after that.

Later on, I got a call from Dad asking what happened, and I had to explain. He wasn't mad per se, but wasn't exactly proud.

Here's everyone's position:

Aunt Melinda: Wants me to apologize and change my profile pic.

Uncle Jerry: Says I should consider doing it for Aunt Melinda and the boys.

Dad: Says that I have a point and that it's my prerogative, but says there will be an impact.

Maria: Says that since I'm the one paying for the account, I have the final say.

Mom: Told me I wasn't in the wrong at all and I should change my password and sign out of all devices that aren't mine.

I am mentally at a stalemate personally. Should I give this up? Should I just change it? Think it'll blow over?

Reddit: Am I the A-hole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Pretty_Cycle_3807 on 2024-01-18 22:45:52+00:00.

I (33F) am a lawyer and my husband (34M) works in an office, I earn the most money so when i got pregnant we decided that my husband would stay at home with our daughter, at least until she was a little older. It’s been 2 months since i gave birth to our daughter and i’m planning on going back to work next month. My husband told me last week that it would be better if i quit my job and took care of the baby and he could provide for us. I told him no because there is like no good reason to do that? I earn more than him and i actually like my job where as he hates his job and earns a lot less than me. Plus we literally agreed that i’d work and he’d look after our daughter i don’t understand what’s changed? He called me a bad mom and he’s been really upset with me since. We’ve been fighting about it a lot because he keeps bringing it up. It was his idea to have a child and he told me he was happy to be a stay at home dad I don’t understand why he doesn’t want that anymore.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Blooptyfloop on 2024-01-18 22:29:28+00:00.

okay, so i'm a stay at home mom, 36. We thought it would be a nice experience to host an exchange student, so a person from argentina has been staying with us. For the most part, things have gone great. She's in her sophomore year at a university nearby, and so she usually gets back from classes around the time my sons get home from school and we'll have dinner together, maybe do some tourism stuff on the weekends.

There's just one problem. one very awkward problem. For whatever reason, she doesn't seem to wear pants that fit her. That's the polite way of saying that her thong is always hanging out. I'm talking like manny santos levels of whale tail going on. I had no idea that it was back in trend, I had thought I had left those treacherous days behind me, but apparently it's back with a vengeance.

and just to be clear, I don't mean that her underwear is visible every once in a while when she bends over. I mean that her thong is right there, every time we get dinner in a resteraunt, or go golfing, or meet friends. This places me in a pretty awkward position. she's 18, and she's not my kid, and it's against my general moral compass to tell other adults how to dress. however, I'm awfully tired of looking at a random persons bum floss in my own home.

I did try talking with her about it, but she brushes it off as if it was just an accident. 10 of 15 minutes later, I see her casually lift the band of her underwear so that it's back to being above her pants.

So, here's what I did about it. I needed to go run some errands and give her a ride to the the post office. Only, as soon as we arrived at the grocery store, her eyes went wide when I stepped out of the car. In the back of my drawer, I had found the loudest most bedazzled thong that I owned, and was wearing it a proud several inches above my own pants. I knew that the best way to make it uncool would be to adopt it myself.

I could see her dying inside, but I pretended not to notice and told her how seeing her thong made me remember back to the 90s, how it was so cute and I was inspired to try it again, how fun it would be to whale tail together etc etc. Needless to say, she didn't say very much for the rest of the evening. If her thong wasn't out of her pants, I would act pouty and tell her that it would be fun if we were matching.

Since then, she's been really stand offish with me, to the point that other family members have noticed (nobody but me knows about my little prank). It's making me start to wonder if perhaps it was too far.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/bw2082 on 2024-01-18 19:44:30+00:00.

I was shopping on the pasta aisle minding my own business when this lady who looked like she was in her 50s rammed me in the back with one of those electric scooter/carts for the handicapped. I turned around real fast and said, “what the fuck! Watch where you are going!” Then she called me an asshole and said she’s handicapped. I said, “ you can’t walk but you’re not blind!” Then she told me to f off and went max speed down the aisle. I don’t think I’m wrong here but my coworker thinks so.

Edit: To those who said I should have situational awareness, I don’t have eyes behind my head or a crystal ball, nor do I expect to be rammed by a rogue scooter while shopping for fusilli!

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Zealousideal-Tax6301 on 2024-01-19 03:59:30+00:00.

AITA female 22 for leaving my fiancé male 26. In the beginning of our relationship for the first year and a glad everything was perfect. We would cook together clean together and we were genuinely happy. But soon after moving in together after he proposed things quickly changed. The entire 2 1/2 years we were together he only got my flowers twice. He would always argue with me over things that I would tell him and would say “you didn’t tell me that” because he was so stuck on his games. He would occasionally get food for dinner without offering me anything. I couldn’t have any friends. I couldn’t dye my hair without him and his family judging me for wanting to be me. Because “un-natural hair color isn’t professional” he was such a home body he didn’t like to go anywhere. I couldn’t have any of my friends over at the house and was made to block and stop talking to many friends. I couldn’t wear my tube tops or anything of the sort unless he was with me. When he thought that I was sleeping he would either go through my phone or lay in bed beside me and jack off. Should I also add in that the sex was so awful that after we would have adult fun time and he’d go shower I had to go and get my toy to finish myself. For the last few months of being with him I was so unhappy that everyone in my family could see it but I was constantly making excuses for him because I was so scared of being alone. All though I finally made the decision to leave it still hurts like hell and sometimes I feel like I made the wrong decision and think I should have stayed with him.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/UsedToasterr on 2024-01-19 03:55:35+00:00.

I have been In my position for almost a year and a half. For some reason my manager and assistant manager(a.m) want me to do more training. I had done four different training shifts as is back in Nov/Dec.

well, I didn't look well enough at my schedule as I was scheduled for even more training shifts after being made to think I was finished. I missed both of my scheduled shifts that were day shift as I work nights and didn't even know I had them. After realizing I was put on for more training, I emailed both the manager and assistant manager.

My first email said: "I realized I had missed more scheduled training, I didn't come in on the 15th or 16th, because I didn't look into the new schedule as I assumed it would be my normal schedule, and was made to think I was finished, and wasn't made aware that id still have more training days. If it is absolutely necessary and mandatory, ! will come in for the training on the 29th and 30th, but I also have prior obligations those days, and need to know if this training is necessary. I do understand that training can be helpful, but I'm still unsure as to why I keep being scheduled for it as I personally don't believe I need it. I've been here a little over a year, and am confident and sure of how my performance is. Thank you."

Now before I sent that email(1/17) I asked about 9 different people if it was rude and they all said no.

The a.m replied "I discussed the issue with 'manager', we feel there is no need for additional training."

My manager responded with "If lab leaders decide you need the training, you will need to participate in that training. If you need it to be deemed absolutely necessary, it is. You do not dictate or decide the terms of your training or work schedule. I'm disappointed in your disrespectful email, lack of communication and attention to detail. I had communicated with you that I thought your training was complete, maybe not. I will give you an opportunity to send a respectful and appropriate email to 'a.m' and I that consists of a proper apology for not reviewing the posted schedule, and "assuming" that your prior plans are our priority when it comes to your training needs. I look forward to reading it tomorrow."

I apologized more than I wanted to with my reply to them, "I'm sorry that my email came off as disrespectful and rude, as it wasn't my intention. And regarding the schedule, I must not have read/seen it correctly, I do apologize for that. However, I didn't mean to assume that my Prior obligations were the lab's priority when it comes to training needs.

I also had 'Tech' read the email just to have a second opinion on my email, and she agreed that it was okay to send. I also would like to ask if I'm still supposed to come in on the 29th and 30th for the scheduled training days. Again, I'm sorry that my email came across as rude and disrespectful, and I will make sure to take a better look at the posted schedules. Thank you."

So AITA for sending my original email?l

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/FlippyIsKing18 on 2024-01-19 03:55:34+00:00.

I (27M) live in a duplex with my fiance'. The duplex has a single driveway that I share with my neighbors, but they both park their cars in the driveway even though both houses have a garage. I don't hate my neighbors, we both just do our own thing, but I've attempted before to try and be nice and neighborly to them. I've invited them to cookouts, offered help with yardwork, brought them their packages that were left at my door, etc. And nothing I do seems to be enough to get even a 'thank you' out of them.

We've gotten a lot of snow during the cold snap that's affecting half of the U.S. right now. One day, after we had a big snowstorm, I got done shoveling my side of the driveway and I decided to be nice and shovel and salt their side, too. I again didn't get a thank you, even though I waved at them when I saw them getting home.

Then, a day later, we had another big snowstorm. I didn't have time before I had to get to work, so I made plans to shovel when I got home. When I got home, the neighbor's side of the driveway was cleared while mine was a literal mound of powder and ice. I also noticed a snowblower left outside right in front of their garage. I admittedly got a little mad but didn't confront them about it. I'd use one too if I had it, but to leave my side a complete mound that I had to shovel by hand, most of it frozen from the negative weather, and I felt like I could almost hear them laughing at me.

We had yet another snowstorm this morning, but today was my day off and so before my fiance' had to go to work herself, I shoveled/froze my ass off. I only did my side of the driveway. After an hour, I heard a knock at my door. It was the neighbors, both of them looking annoyed and cold. The guy asked if I could help them, as the furthest car down the driveway was stuck, so neither of them could leave (the other car was parked in front of that one). I thought about just laughing and shutting the door, but I just went out and got ready to shovel yet again.

When I stepped out, the guy started berating me, asking why I didn't do their side of the driveway when I was out earlier. The woman, who was in the car, started yelling at me that it was my fault that he was going to be late for work because I could've cleared the snow behind them, but I chose not to. So I brought up the aforementioned snowblower, but the guy said it was 'out of the question' and stated he didn't have enough gas for it or the money to get it because of the high price. I asked if that was the case, I literally have a full gas tank in my garage he could use, but the guy said there was no time and I just had to 'be nicer'.

So I got my shovel out of the garage, gave it to the guy, then went back inside. They were both yelling at me even after I went in, and later on, I found my shovel in the yard. They did get their car out eventually.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Forsaken-Twist-2931 on 2024-01-19 03:54:59+00:00.

There’s a small business in my town that is known for being family owned. During my time working there I enjoyed the staff and the management. However, everything took a turn when the business was sold and a new family came to run the place. (This was a year and a half ago.) Everyone was nervous but welcoming to the new owners and manager. It all started to take a turn as we slowly started realizing they cared more about their own family and status than their actual staff. In the time they’ve owned the place, they’ve lost all but 2 original workers (there used to be 10 of us) half their staff over the summer, and mentally abused one worker to their breaking point before finally firing them out of nowhere. Over their time of owning the place I’ve collected receipts and testimonies from the workers they’ve lost, and are still there. On one hand I’d feel bad exposing them because one of the workers is very close to me, so if I exposed them and the business shuts down they could lose their job. But on the other hand, I’m such a small platform on any of my socials that me exposing them might not do anything and it will continue the way it is. I won’t ever name the business, though I’m in such a small town that the people who live here would probably know where I’m talking about. So, AITA for wanting to expose them????

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Throwingawaylater0k on 2024-01-19 03:44:51+00:00.

Am i the asshole for wanting more attention?

Hes really mad at me im not sure. Should i apologize or should he apologize? Am i being unreasonable

So i (mid 20s) have the covid and my boyfriend (same age) does not. Ive been stuck at home and since none of my family has the vid im stuck in just my bedroom only allowed to leave to use the restroom. (I gotta mask up and wear gloves to use the toilet in my own home 🙃) I havent gone to school or work in over a week and i developed an eye infection on top of all of this.

My boyfriend doesnt live with me and is admittedly a very busy guy, but i know he makes the time to do a group call with his gaming buddies nightly. I started getting upset today because he was replying to my messages like an hour or two after i sent them and the only thing i got from him was an "i miss you" snap chat sticker. And that really set me off and i was like "ive been trying to start a conversation with you if you miss me would please talk to me more than a single word every two hours" and he got really angry and said he is not doing that and i apologized emphasizing that its probably just me being stir crazy and i get that he's busy but that i really could use some extra attention this week because ive had no human interaction besides my family asking if i need water.

And then he told me he didnt wanna talk to me and isnt replying to me anymore on any apps. Its been a few hours

I really love him and i understand i was being needy but i think hes being insensitive. I showed my friends the messages and they said hes just sending autoreplies throughout the day.

Am i being unreasonable or is he being mean?

Tldr: I got covid asked boyfriend to text me more and he got offended

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Otherwise_Moment_811 on 2024-01-19 03:37:09+00:00.

So long story short my best friend since 11th grade (21f)and I (21f) had a falling out. I thought it was respectful and mutual decision but I was wrong a few months ago I noticed she blocked me on tik tok So I sent her a long heartfelt message about my feelings towards her and how we’re at different points in life I just started a family I have a 1 year old daughter with my boyfriend and he has a 4 and 5 year old as well so I basically went from having no kids to having three and being a stay at home mom. My ex bsf has always been in a lot of drama since I met her and I unfortunately was the one who always stood up for her and fought her fights (wrong yes I now know) she’s always been in some kind of drama and it was exhausting she would FaceTime me for hours and I feel bad for saying it but all she would do was complain about her family and her problems I tried to be a good friend but after I had my baby I didn’t have much time for that I lived close to her so she would come over all the time and we would hang out basically all the time at this point in time she was still in a lot of drama 24/7 but I told her that I had a baby and I couldn’t be involved with that kind of stuff now. Fast-forward to this past summer it was her 21st birthday I had already let her know that I wasn’t sure if I was gonna be able to come or not because it was on a Monday night And I probably wouldn’t be able to find anyone to watch my daughter( I could’ve asked my boyfriend her dad but he gets up for work at 5:30 in the morning and at this time I was breast-feeding and she was a very colicky baby so it wasn’t easy) I didn’t get to go after that we didn’t really talk too much just here and there every so often and then a few months later out of nowhere I noticed she had blocked me on TikTok and I was just kinda over the friendship so I took her off of all my other social media But today, a mutual friend of ours shared with me that she had posted a video that’s private to where only her friends on TikTok, can see it basically exposing lost of my secrets, that I’ve told her 100% in confidence as well as some other lies, accusing me of using drugs, and using her when she was the one who would come over to my house because she was in so much drama that people were looking for her around her apartment, because they wanted to fight her, but backtracking a little bit Sorry she had posted that video before I sent her that long heartfelt message about how I really felt and how I think we’re just at different points in life I had unblocked her on iMessage and completely went off I said some hurtful things, but nothing compares to what she posted for everyone Who’s on her TikTok to see and she will not respond to me at all. I’m not really sure why I’m posting this here. I guess I just want some outside input I honestly feel heartbroken. I think this is worse than a break up. Also, regarding to how I started this post, it’s a lot longer than I thought it was going to be.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/fdgae on 2024-01-19 03:36:50+00:00.

I rather tell an uncomfortable truth than a comfortable lie. So, when someone asks me if they are fat or if I think they have gained weight I do tell them the truth. Or even when people say: oh I'm fat I should work out, I say: yes you are, and yes you should. And then they start getting so defensive and try to give excuses like they don't have the time to go to the gym, they have thyroid problems, I even heard people say they do everything but they are still fat. My response is always the same: I don't have the time either, and yet I wake up at 5ish to work out and pay a personal trainer, I don't have the energy after a whole work day and yet I drive 30 minutes to go and play squash at least 1 hour and a half minimum, I have thyroid issues, I do intermittent fasting for 16 hours, and I'm not skinny, I'm just thing, and I recommend a good nutritionist. And if they can't commit to losing weight then they should go on Olympic. And that would start a fight or they would start crying. Why did you ask me if you don't like the answer? Should I lie to you so you get fatter and fatter? I'm not even saying it's easy, I'm just saying it's possible and that if I can do it, so can they. Also I'm a doctor so I say the same thing to all my obese patients. I just don't understand how sensible they are about a topic that has such a simple (not easy) solution. And I always say: look you don't look bad, but it's a matter of health, this is only going to get worse, you have only one body, you need to take care of it. I don't say anything in a condescending tone, I'm more like giving them a lot of tips than can help them. So: from now on, should I lie or omit the truth and stay quiet? One other thing: why is it that my friends can criticize my body because I'm thin therefore is ok, but I can't say anything about them being fat? That double standard is ridiculous.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ElectronicAd2846 on 2024-01-19 03:32:22+00:00.

I live in a place that doesn’t have the best sound but I’ve almost never heard any noise from neighbors around me. Except the upstairs neighbors. It’s obvious they have a small kid because I always hear them running for like hours every night and on weekends. For the last couple weeks I’ve started pounding on the ceiling, which started as a light tap to say “hey can you please chill” to “oh my god when will this hell end” I just want to not have my apartment shake for one evening! So tonight and the last few days my taps have gotten harder with not any effect on the neighbors noise levels whatsoever. I go up and knock on their door and just express how loud and that my entire apartment shakes and my dog often seems scared of the shaking. As I’m expressing to her I get it kids have energy but literally allowing them to run for like hours in the apartment is not normal to just let it happen if neighbors are bothered. She all of a sudden goes victim as her other kid a baby starts crying. She claims she tries to be quiet and the kids are in bed by 8 (sometimes it goes until 10) Then I basically start apologizing but say its really hard because I don’t know the solution but I don’t want to continue banging I just want some quiet. Am I the asshole? I can see it’s hard to get kids to listen and like not run but to allow them to like it’s a normal thing was weird to me. I’ve never had an apartment shake all the time like this.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Your-homegirl22 on 2024-01-19 03:30:40+00:00.

Ok. Honest opinions. I've been married almost 3 years. My engagement was super unconventional in every way. My husband gave me a small promise ring as a "promise" and then never proposed we just one day decided to start wedding planning. I wore that promise ring our entire 2 year "engagement" if you want to call it that. (The time before we got married) 1 weeks before our wedding him and I went to a Jewlery store to pick out my engagement ring and wedding band. Since it was 1 week before the wedding I had to make a decision on what was in stock and at our one local Jewler. I admit I wasn't thinking logically or practically I just loved how big and shiny it was. and I had only had it on for maybe 2 minutes before buying. So didn't realize how heavy it was. We BOTH decided that day on a ring. This ring is STUNNING. It's a real earth grown ring, 125 diamonds total, it has a double halo, top and bottom bands, it was almost $13,000. It's beautiful. But it's SO heavy and SO uncomfortable. I seriously never wear my ring. If I leave the house I put it on and within seconds of getting home I take it off. In the beginning this bothered my husband but now it's our norm. It's heavy and just not practical at all. Over the years friends have gotten engaged and I've tried other rings on and they feel so comfortable almost like I can't tell it's on! All my friends also tell me my ring is so unbelievably heavy. And over all my style is just totally changed. I like gold- I like dainty- and just from "live and learn" if you will I clearly think a smaller ring suits my lifestyle better. Our jerwler store has said they will buy my ring back. So I'm not asking for an additional ring/ in fact we will probably get money back as the rings I've looked at are only $3000-$4000. I mentioned this to my husband and I think he was so hurt. Needless to say he said no. AITA? I just feel like I will have this for the rest of my life I should like it & feel comfortable with it on and WANT it on. I hate having such an expensive piece of Jewlery sitting on our counter all the time. (I'll also add I've had it sized and it's not a sizing issue. It just is that heavy, bulky, and high set) Thanks in advance

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/ArtichokeVast2111 on 2024-01-19 03:23:18+00:00.

I wanted to sign my kids up for soccer. However, I will be stationed out of state for 1 month during the season. My husband told me not to sign them up because he didn't want to take them to practices or games and if I wasn't home to do it I shouldn't sign them up. Well I signed them up after being told no. I paid for the registration and all the gear nothing will come out of his pocket. The only thing he has to do is take them to practice for a couple of weeks. AITA?

yes they requested to play and brought me the registration form.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Happyisastate on 2024-01-19 03:18:22+00:00.

I set up a nonprofit club . Donated money to it just cos I could . I had a prodigy student “X” who was ok to start with … loved competing and winning and did win most of the times . The club paid for the X’s interstate travels and other fees for competitions as X was representing our club.No other clubs did that . I had . X turned into a moody, teary arrogant&entitled teenager. The mother of X’s did not tell me of any of the mental problems student “x” was having .X would come to class have a cry before the class,Not say hello to anyone or not smile. Everyone else would chitchat ,laugh play around and X would not participate. X would sometimes offer to help with my kids class which I let … but then X would undermine me and contradict me . And so I said I was fine when help was offered again in the future. Plus I couldn’t handle student X’s moods .

After three years, they decided to get extra help from another club and teacher to get better at comps which i didn’t mind … but then 2023 starts and they sent me a message instead of calling … saying X didn’t want to attend my adults&teens class anymore, but wanted to help out with my children’s class . X will do online class with the other club instead .

I would have been fine if they said they didn’t want to be part of my club anymore … but to say “we don’t think your class is good enough for me anymore but X wants to teach instead and still be part of the club and keep reaping the Benefits of getting a expenses paid for for the comps “ . X isn’t 18 … doesn’t have a coaching license and wants to teach . Hmmmff . That infuriated me . I just said I didn’t need help in teaching my kids ..more or less goodbye then .

Apparently Student X(&mom) were very upset … but they are doing well with the other online club I think . I still see them around and still say hello .

I’m new at this and not good at reading people or not taking things personally. I put lot of time effort/money in it . I am sad /disappointed in people and wondering if I did the right thing by telling them x(and mom) to bugger off and see if other clubs will do for them as much as I have ( didn’t actually say it … ) . I’m only human and I think about it everyday day and it’s affecting my mental health and and can’t stop being so angry/sad/guilty about all this . I have contemplated shutting the club down and see if anyone else wants to teach … but the thing is there is no one wanting to step up . I loved being a student myself and don’t like teaching as much but didn’t have a choice.

What could I have done or do things differently in future please people .

Maybe I let students get too close to me you think?

Pls be gentle on me … i just joined reddit and it’s my first post . But would like some honest opinions.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/whatislovebaby1234 on 2024-01-19 03:17:41+00:00.

For context we had an arranged marriage. We’re south Asian in our early 30s with kids. He was my first everything. I’d only read about romance or knew about it from my obsession with books. Romantic movies. The courting period we got to know each other was short but great. He was kind and shy and charming.

He wasn’t my type looks wise but my heart told me this was it. We married and the first few weeks he couldn’t stop gushing at staring at me. I was always cold towards boys growing up in order to keep a distance so it was hard for me to express myself but it took days for him to break that Barrier through consistency. We had many issues those early years. That honeymoon period lasted only until our honeymoon. Literally. As soon as we got back to my in laws it all changed. I never saw that version of him again. I remember him specifically changing as soon as I told him I loved him back. I didn’t mean it at the time but it had been weeks of him saying it and I felt bad. Not long after i actually started falling for him though and that’s when I sensed him changing.

Years on we’ve grown as people and a couple. He’s matured in someways and not in others. When we had a massive argument (probably twice in our marriage) and he walked out.. I’ve never been so terrified and scared. My anxiety was through the roof. I feel like that shows I care for him deeply but I’ve never been sure if I loved him. I’m not sure if he’s loved me either to be honest. Although we show gestures towards one another to show we care… it doesn’t feel like a deep love. He’s emotionally quite immature. Can’t talk about feelings or communicate without getting easily triggered. Can’t handle talking Al about serious topics.

We tell each other we love each other once in a blue moon but it feels robotic. I found out a few years back he had an ex before he married me and I found an old email exchange between them that showed a side of my husband that I haven’t quite seen to this date. I know it was short lived but sometimes I can’t help but compare. Although I’m not sure I love him there’s a part of me that is strangely accepting of this because one of the most terrifying things for me is being in a marriage with someone you have a deep connection and trust and love with and being betrayed. A part of me has already mentally accepted that he might one day break my trust or already is and I’d rather not know. Yesterday when I told him I loved him he mumbled he loved me too and I didn’t feel so bad that my words felt as empty as his response.

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Pretty-Peach1 on 2024-01-19 03:13:06+00:00.

I f28 overheard a conversation between my husband m35 and SIL f27 about money. Basically, heard him saying “I will let you know tomorrow that I get paid” I automatically thought, this girl asked for money. A little bit of more information to add - my SIL works up north and gets paid very well, she has no kids, no responsibilities other than her car payment..(she gets per-diem for food and rent) she recently asked for a week off to go to our hometown for legal reasons and visit her mom. Apparently, they haven’t called her to come back to work so she’s staying with my MIL.. it’s already been 2 weeks and still no news about her getting back to work. I honestly thought she had enough money saved up.. now when I overheard this conversation I didn’t say anything I was in the middle of my nap so I just continued sleeping.. when I woke up I got curious and checked my husbands phone, she asked him for $600. I’m extremely confused as into why so much money, if she’s staying with her mom atm, she told me yesterday that she had just spent over $700 on ozempic injections, she also told us last week that she went on a shopping spree with her mom.. so I’m just not sure I want to lend her any money. I’m mostly concerned about the fact that we are on a tight budget trying to get ahead on payments for when I give birth.. oh yeah, FYI I am pregnant with twins (boy & girl) and due date is in 7 weeks and we haven’t even bought a car seat for the boy. I’m slowly bringing things from our storage that we saved from my daughter now 13 months old, but we still need to buy extra things for the baby boy.. We have money in our savings but I don’t think it’s really fair seeing how she’s been spending her money knowing she needed to save up until she got called back to work or at least be prepared if they didn’t. I don’t know what my husbands thoughts are on this.. he hasn’t mentioned it to me and I don’t want to bring it up either.. at this point I’m too pregnant to be worrying about other people. I feel that if he ends up lending her money without talking to me about it, I’d get very annoyed. So, am I being an AH?