this post was submitted on 19 Jan 2024
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Am I the Asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/OJ_FreshSqueeze on 2024-01-19 05:48:54+00:00.


I (M) am in college and recently got assigned to a group project with a girl in my class (let's call her Jane), which is entirely online. I was under the impression that we had to meet up via zoom in order to record this project together, so I asked Jane when she's available to meet. She gave me times and I didn't do anything out of pocket except for calling her homie one time (I didn't mean anything by it, but I can understand the discomfort).

I asked the professor for clarification as well and she said that meeting like this would be ideal. I sent my professor's response to Jane and she asked what it was in response to, so I said that I asked if we had to meet up and do it together (I didn't specifically say on zoom, but I already implied this earlier) or do it separately.

Next thing you know my phone gets blown up by her boyfriend (let's say John) calling me 9 times in a row and being abrasive when I asked who he was, neglecting to actually tell me the problem and threatening me instead. A mutual friend let me know who John was and I told him he had nothing to worry about. I said sorry and let Jane know I wasn't trying to cause any problems and I still haven't gotten a response, so I'm hoping we can work this out before the deadline.

I can understand being a little uncomfortable about something like this, but this seems like an insane overreaction and I would've much preferred an actual discussion instead of this girl telling her boyfriend and me being treated like this over what is essentially a non-issue. I should also mention I’ve never met Jane and had no idea about her boyfriend. At the same time, I'm conflicted since I might've seemed a little forward and I'm genuinely wondering if I did something that deserved this reaction.

AITA?

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