Transfem

Firstly, I don't mean any harm by this post and if you think any of this is wrong please let me know. This post is based of my own research, but not necessarily my own experience, as I haven't done all of these, YMMV.

Contents

• Gaining/Losing Fat
• Gaining Muscle
  • Strength Training
  • Cardio
• Artificial
  • Clothing
  • Hip Pads
  • BBL

Gaining/Losing Fat

There's no problem with simply gaining some bodyweight especially if you're underweight or gain within the 'healthy' range of BMI. In that case you might instead see some benefit from losing fat for a smaller waist to ass ratio. But do keep in mind that if you are currently not on Estrogen/T-blockers, gaining weight might add them to the wrong places, or places you might not want like your gut/ or arms. Estrogen also makes you gain weight, but this usually does this to the butt and legs, which makes gaining weight when estrogen more reliable, but even if you're not on it you might have some good results without being on E depending on your genetics.

Gaining Muscle

Whilst this might not be something you initially think can make you more fem, it does work. I recommend some form of Resistance Training(Weights, Calisthenics). Personally I like Weights due to simplicity of structure, but you can and will gain muscle with both. If you're AMAB consider risks of training your upper body since androgen receptors there are more dense and you can more easily gain upper body mass. For unrelated reasons(testosterone being anabolic(muscle promoting) you can also more easily put on muscle if you're not on hormones. If you are on hormones, then you still can gain muscle but less than if you weren't.

In regards to specific workouts I can only speak from my own experience. My personal preference is for training with weights. If you're looking for something simple and full body, then Allpro's routine is pretty good. You can also check reddits /r/fitness for their recommendations. If you want to do just legs, then you can check out /r/strongcurves. Personally I prefer the fewer workouts from Allpro, so I just don't do the upper body but following the same progression scheme, and I added in a more leg work(Hip Thrust + Hip Abduction machine). Exercising takes time, but it is a sure fire way to increase the size of your butt/thighs. On a side note cardio is incredibly healthy for you to do and great for burning calories, but too much will make you have slower leg gains relative to just strength training. If you go from sedentary to cycling/running/any cardio you will still gain leg muscle. RP Strength is a great resource for info on this.

Other

I would like to preface this by saying that I have no experience from the below two, hip pads or BBl, and that these are just a couple of things that came up in my research.

Firstly are hip pads, you can buy these, or make your own, They work. BBL is a surgery where they take out fat from somewhere else (usually your midsection) and then re-implant it into your butt and thighs. I found the Mamaswole video on this to be informative

The easiest and fastest way is with clothing, you can make you legs seem wider by E.g. wearing baggy joggers, or skirts which flare out at the waist, or jeans which start high and are loose at the hips, or with flared bottom accentuating legs. ICKY has some great videos on this.

TLDR: Workout, Clothes are your friend, and other options exist if you want even more.

That was it, the extent of my knowledge. Since I don't have reddit I'm okay with this being cross posted there for more eyes on lemmy. Any other tips are appreciated!

So today I'm getting chest dysphoia really bad, and I feel sad and upset. I'm hoping I can get on HRT soon but I know it'll be a long time, especially since I just came out. So I wanted to ask, how does everyone here who hasn't started HRT yet cope with chest dysphoria? Is there something I can do to maybe feel better, even just temporarily?

Yes I included beard and mustache stubble on purpose. I like my little fuzzy bits of beard and mustache and I plan to keep them even as I transition and become more feminine, though I'll likely always present and act more masc since that's what I like.

My only real source of dysphoria at the moment is towards my flat chest and the fact I lack any breasts, it makes me sad and I hope I can get on Estrogen soon so I can begin to change that.

I've been closeted for years now. It's not safe for me to be/express who I really am, and I have no idea if or when I'll ever be able to develop into an actual person. I intend to survive anyway, if only for the hope that I might somehow, someday make existence a little more bearable for others.

I find that I'm a bit more motivated to keep going when I've watched/read/listened to stuff that reminds me why I even try. Stuff that's beautiful and/or believes that it's worth it. Stuff that reminds me that I'm not the only one to do this, that I'm connected to everyone who came before and will come after, and that we're not alone.

What helped you survive what you went through? What helps you now?

Can be anything really, as long as it's something I can get my hands on via the internet. Preferably stuff without too much of a time investment (neurodivergence means I effectively have very little productive time), but honestly, I just want to hear from you.

I feel like the world has placed an challenge on my shoulders I cannot and will not overcome, from a young age I’ve been considered unattractive, people treated me as if I wasn’t human, people used to use tissue paper to hand me things, make faces at me and treat me as if I was sick. On top of this I have abused by my father, when I was 14 I realized I was a women and thought hrt would fix me if I just held out long enough to start it, unfortunately after 3 years hrt, a year on injections many elements of myself are horrible, the only difference is I get the same treatment mixed in with transphobia, i feel like the only reasonable conclusion I can come to is death. I’m sorry I feel like the world wanted me to prove you don’t have to be attractive to be trans. Unfortunately that weight has proved way to much, I’m sorry to my friends I know they tried and tried, but I know normal people can only do much. I’m sorry to society, I know my life was supposed be some learning lessons but fuck I’m a human bein

I currently need something like that but there is no equivalent I've found on here (Lemmy)

"OutFront has worked with people from 20 states, including states like Texas and Missouri, along the Interstate 35 corridor and southeast states Florida, Tennessee and Georgia, Rohn said.

Minnesota’s relatively strong job market and economy are a draw for those seeking access to care"

Due to confounding factors, I can only say this is probably a good statement for those arriving with some savings, or had the time to find a job before the move. I have not had this level of luck myself, but this is the first city I've ever lived in where I have felt a desire to set down roots.*

"A November attack on two trans women at a light rail station in downtown Minneapolis, with cheers from onlookers, deterred a few people Charley spoke with who had been considering a move to Minnesota. He said it was hard on many members of the Twin Cities Transplant group. 

“To me, (bystanders cheering) was the most devastating part,” Charley said.

A place to call home

Housing is a considerable obstacle for many transplants — the housing crisis in the Twin Cities affects everybody, but the absence of a dedicated LGBTQ+ shelter is a risk for anyone relocating without guaranteed access to housing, Charley said. 

“And you can’t sleep in your car,” Charley said. “I talked to a transplant last year who was talking about doing anything to get out of Texas and mentioned in February living in a car.”

Charley said the “Catch-22” of finding a job without a local address is another challenge because employers might eliminate out-of-state applicants. To secure an apartment, one needs a job and proof of income, he said."

I don't know for sure if I am the actual person this interviewee said they had spoken to, but I may be since every description fits, and am willing to share and answer and questions you may have down in the comments.

To start off with what was mentioned in the article:

• There actually are dedicated services for unhoused younger transpeople (the oldest age that is included by any of the groups is 25).

• I have been living in my vehicle at various areas around the MN metro since bailing on Texas becoming a decent place July 4th weekend 2023 (more detail im the comments)

• I have had 0 interactions with anyone here that made me feel LESS safe due to my identity or presentation. And after learning some terrifying lessons on some things to not do, I haven't had any interactions at all overnight with the exception of 1 police check up every 1-2 months for the last year...(notes and qualifying stuff in comments)

If you are wondering If Minneapolis, or Minnesota overall, is worth the move, then I would say yes to anyone with a well laid plan and a small savings for comfort.

And you're saftey is at risk because you live in the worst areas, I can say 1.5 years of car life in MN has without a doubt been way better for my mental, physical, and spiritual help than 1.5 years back in texas under even a million dollar roof(frankly because I'd be hanging from it one way or another long before the year mark)

I've been 10months on HRT so maybe it's still too early to tell but I genuinely believe I won't pass unless I get FFS, my face was quite masculine before HRT and I think it's not possible to change some stuff without surgical intervention. I have a prominent brow ridge, my jaw is square and my chin is cleft. No matter how hard I try with makeup, voice, eyebrows and hair, I still get sir'd once people see my face. Sorrowfully without much hesitation. It makes me feel terribly illegitimate to call myself a woman when I look like this.

My dysphoria has lowered a lot since starting though and I actually feel alive for once in my life. But maybe it would be better identifying as a femboy until I can get FFS...

Hii,

I am a freshly cracked mtf egg.

TLDR at end

My parents are raging transphobes. Like the level of crazy where both are anti vax, one is flat earther, and I've had arguments with them where they claim that there are a lot of people out there who identify as a helicopter and people who identify as something they weren't born as should be in mental asylums.

My youngest sibling won't be an adult until 15 months from now and still lives in their house. I don't know what my parents will do once I'm out, but I doubt it will be supportive and I'm sure it would ruin my sibling's life. They're immigrants who hold citizenship in another country, so leaving the US ("which infected me with the woke mind virus") with my youngest sibling is quite possible. Which is why I want to pass in boymode until they graduate high school (may 2026) and can get out.

My question is, when do I start HRT and at what dose? Do I start low dose at x months before I want to be out? Do I start regular dose y months before I want to be out? I plan to move to a blue State in a few months, so I would be living in a different State for the last few months before my youngest sibling gets out. So I can make excuses and not go home and just need to pass over video call after about feb 2026.

omg, that was so so long. Feel like I had to get some of that off my chest. Thanks for reading!!!

Additional info to consider:

• My weight is about 25% of the way from the lowest normal BMI to the highest normal BMI.
• My natural voice is already androngenous and I've been called m'am on the phone many times, so any vocal changes will likely fly under the radar.
• My hair is receding, idk if starting a low dose earlier instead of an avg dose later would help me keep more of it?
• I would be 23 for most of 2025. I heard the body can keep developing until 25, so does that mean I need to start earlier to make more of that last stage of development go in a fem way instead of a masc way? Or does it not really make a difference?

TLDR: trying to pass in person for ~12 more months and pass over video call for ~18. Heard something (maybe myth?) that it would be better to start earlier since I'm still in my low 20s. When do I start and low dose or normal dose?

It's been a bit over a year since I last shared my transition progress on here so I thought I want to update you all.

Here is my last post: https://phtn.app/post/lemmy.dbzer0.com/7781431

Forgot to add:

• first pic is 0 laser sessions
• second pic is 6 laser sessions
• third pic is 9 laser sessions

(This is a throwaway alt for my main lemmy account because I don't want to doxx myself. I'm an ally, and my daughter is transfem, but I understand I am not. If I need to remove this post, please let me know.)

Hey all

Early this year I came out as enby. The day I came out, I decided to do something with my mid-back length long hair to feel more femme. As I combed it and actually looked in the mirror for the first time in years, I saw I had thinning hair, looked with an additional mirror/my phone, and sadly came to the realization I had the first few steps of male pattern baldness. I can still 'hide' it by combing my hair back, using a small-tooth comb, etc, but soon I won't be able to hide it.

To my surprise this caused me a massive amount of dysphoria, and I realised that I had only ever been 'clocked' as feminine due to my hair, so I had made the connection between the two. I can't use the hair foams because they are toxic to cats and I would rather die than hurt my cat. I tend to react negatively to a fair number of medicines so the pill options are pretty scary, particularly with 'permanent E.D.' being out there. My doctor said I was a good candidate for microneedling/hair transplants, but those are far, far too expensive for me.

My male friends just told me to buzz it off and be done with it. My female/enby friends told me to keep it long for now and go back to my hairdresser when it becomes harder to hide.

I wanted to reach out to my transfem sisters and siblings to see:

Do if any of you had any advice for someone who feels at least part feminine, but doesn't know what to do to be more femme when shaved headed, or like when to shave their head, etc? Should I just work on my makeup/earring/accessory skills?

Thank you so much <3

Forgot to say I am from Canada if that helps any.

So, uh, hi. I've never posted here before, and I'm not entirely sure how I wound up here to begin with, but, well, details. I'm here for, well, maybe some advice but also to share some positive news when so much is going on in the US and UK.

On some level, I've known I was trans since, god, probably 2006...but for various reasons I never really moved forward with things, instead trying on various personas and occasionally crashing into severe alcoholism, then basically spending 2017-early/mid 2024 as a miserable urban hermit, just autopiloting to and from work. At that point, something in Baldur's Gate 3 of all things tripped something in my head, the drive to Do Better. This led to taking better care of myself, vitamins, better antidepressants, some lion's mane, and...well, it wiped out the fog that had been in my head for so many years. And without that fog, and refusing to drink again, I had to eventually do something about the black hole of dysphoria.

The first people I came out to were my three older sisters, on US election day. Yes, I know, I'm a comedy genius. But, you know what? Fuck US politics, I'm not letting some shits in Florida and Texas scare me into hiding another 15-20 years, and I live five minutes away from the state with the strongest LGBTQ protections in the country, in case things get dumb and shitty.

Since then, I've...actually a friend made a list, one second. "you went from very nervously mumbling that you thought you were maybe kind of trans to me to, what? Shaking off the post-election doom and gloom? Doing a bit of DIY HRT and confirming, 100%, this is what you want? Coming out to basically everyone you know? Starting therapy and getting good things out of it? Reconnecting with lots of friends you'd kind of ignored while you were depressed and dysphoric? Meeting up with IRL and online support groups? Finding an HRT (or GAHT, I guess) specialist, then starting on HRT for real? All in about 30 days?"

And even better, nearly everyone I've told has been nice at worst and incredibly supportive at best. My boss outright laughed at someone trying to out me, my co-workers have said how much more alive I look and seem, and I actually, gasp, have friends now! Socializing and talking to people is fun! I'm the closest I've been to two of my siblings in...ever, probably. I just can't believe how much having the right hormone for my brain has helped me in every way. And whatever challenges lie ahead, actually being ALIVE for the first time is pretty damn amazing, and makes things a lot more manageable!

Oh, and I was texting back and forth with said siblings, and signed off with a "love ya!" at the end. Both of them were stunned: apparently I've NEVER told either one I love them before. Ever. Yeah, this is the real me. Any lingering doubts I had vanished that moment.

I'll stick a question on here. One of the people I've been hoping to bring to...well, maybe not happy, but at least accepting, is my mom. Thanks to shitty right wing TV, she seems to be hung up on all of this being a sex or fetish thing and not much else. Assuming she's willing, would something like the page on biochemical dysphoria (that's the one that's closest to my personal experience) from the Gender Dysphoria Bible be a decent thing to get her to read?

Oh yeah, the image. It's just a couple of pins I stuck on my vest at work. They're so cute that even the couple of chud-types at my job love them, though they probably have no clue what the colors mean.

Heya,

I've been looking into razors and trimmers to take care of facial and body hair, including sensitive areas. Just looking up these products shows that pretty much anything as explicitly male or female marketed, including not just stereotypical elements like colour and such, but also explicitly calling themselves "for men" or "for women".

Is there anything to this label? Does it actually make any difference or are these just arbitrary visual differences?

Also, do people here have good recommendations for what to go for? It'd be nice to have something that maybe makes it a little easier than using disposable normal razors, as that's associated with some major constant effort and has some less fulfilling results in sensitive areas.

Thanks for reading!

i started hrt through planned parenthood almost 3 months ago, i feel like it was one of the best decisions i ever made, i feel so much more like myself. although it can sometimes be a lot harder, i am much happier overall, and now look forward to life and the changes i can make, and astonished at how much i have already changed.

i didnt really feel safe relying on using planned parenthood for getting my hrt, and i had already explored the option of getting it from my doctor, but they wont even give me an appointment for 6 months, so who knows how long that will take. i ended up going for injections, rather than oral or transdermal methods, given it being much cheaper. i ordered from a seller i found through some recommendations of friends, lots of stock issues, cant imagine why lol. the hardest part was getting the crypto, my payment methods just did not want to work for some reason. after i purchased some, i made an order, and waited for it to arrive. shipping took about two weeks, but i bought from an international seller.

i went to a friends house, they are also trans and have done injections on themselves many times, so they walked me through the process. i had seen people inject all sorts of things, so i was familiar with it, but i just wanted somebody experienced there. im glad i did, because i just couldnt do it, it just feels wrong to stab myself, i just was building it up in my head a whole lot. i asked them to do it for me, it was very simple and over quick. i think that now i have experienced it, i know what to expect, i will have a much easier time doing it to myself.

im happy i took this step, knowing i can do this has helped ease my anxiety quite a bit. im also glad to get off the spiro and start monotherapy. now all i need is some more cute outfits (and things that are considerably less exciting than cute outfits, but nonetheless important) and ill be ready to tackle the world.

Looking for a alternative to TikTok right now that has a good wide audience from LGBT people and neurodivergent people. I only ever used TikTok because it always gave me good LGBT and nerodivergent people who can relate to me. Instagram just gives me people who sell things and YouTube shorts just gives me annoying YouTubers.

Anybody have any good suggestions?

Um. So. I've been wearing a lot of tight sweaters recently and starting to show a bit too much nipple, so I bought some bras. Why just now? I guess I felt I didn't really "deserve" one, or I'd be "dressing up", or something, and wanted to wait for a good reason. Or two :3

Anyway, it's super comfortable, the padding really helps with sensitivity, and I looove what it does for my silhouette. BUT. I've been dressing somewhat androgynous up till now to give my hair / face time to catch up, and to me at least this is a big step into "this person is obviously dressing fem (wearing a bra)" territory. Which is kind of scary.

I'm not really sure what I'm asking here, sorry. I like presenting fem; I want to be perceived as fem; but I guess I'm kind of scared I look like a man in drag? Is anybody actually going to notice?

I haven't posted in a bit but I'm now over a year in. Just started injections a month ago, on progesterone since month 6 and been taking spiro of course.

Closed out my social media accounts while I prepare for some pretty major life changes, but I wanted to share my progress again since I haven't for a while. Life has been hard, but I'm happy.

Be strong, friends.

nyaaa nyaa mrrrp

well i understand because my parents will notice if i'm taking hormone blockers

yay?????

So I started DIY a few months ago using estradiol gel for monotherapy (2.5g 0.06% gel applied scrotally twice a day for a total of 3 mg estradiol / day). I saw plenty of expected effects, including nipple sensitivity and no more spontaneous erections (after a month or so even direct stimulation was starting to get less effective). No blood tests, but I conclude estrogen levels are probably OK-ish and testosterone must be somewhat suppressed.

This month, I get on prescription injections instead at last. The standard course here is monotherapy, 10 or 20 mg estradiol valerate (Progynon) as an IM depot injection every two weeks. Different schedules, progestogens, anti-androgens etc are available but I'm probably going to have to advocate for that myself if necessary. First injection, 10mg; I stopped using gel that day. All seems OK, but a few days in, I start getting erections at night again. Weird, but I assume it could be an occasional thing. By day six, they're happening every night, sometimes getting semi-hard during the day too. Nipple sensitivity has pretty much gone so I conclude the injection has worn off and go back on gel. Everything reverts to "gel normal" as above.

Injection two, two weeks after the first, I get 20mg this time. Stop gel again. After a few hours, boom lots of breast sensitivity / swelling. I'm guessing this is a pretty good indicator of E levels. That's slowly dropped down to gel-like levels over the subsequent few days and what do you know, the erections are back again. I conclude peak levels were a bit higher than gel, but dropping off rapidly again and probably not going to last the full two weeks. (This is consistent with the simulator on transfem science).

I'll be asking for blood tests next time and checking with the doctor, but I'd like to get a straw poll: does anybody see random erections even with T suppressed? Am I overthinking things? I'm not seeing a massive return of BO or anything, so I assume T isn't getting that high, but god damn I hate waking up to that thing.

I was at Epcot the other day and suddenly the globe, the trees, the new little park, and all the Magicbands began to glow pink, silver and blue. The globe was an especially obvious trans flag (sorry if that isn't the correct term). I stopped and paid attention to the song that was playing and it was from their flop "Wish".

Have you ever wondered why you look up at the sky for answers?

Well, you don't have to look too hard
We're here for all your question marks
If you're try'na figure out just who you are
Don't look far

In the sky and your front yard
In your heart and in your scars
If you really wanna know just who you are
You're a star

Nice move Disney. 10/10

Hey y'all, transfemby here. I've yet to start HRT (not sure I want to rn), but I really wish I had thicker hips. Today was a shitty dysphoria day about it, and it made me realize how bad I want this. Do you have any recommendations on how to achieve wider hips (and/or hourglass shape) without HRT?