LadyAutumn

joined 2 years ago
MODERATOR OF
mtf
 

If you're out of the loop or intentionally avoiding social media and the news cycle, then I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this. Two executive orders were written yesterday by Donald Trump that specifically target transgender rights and freedoms. One targeting the rights of transgender members of the military, another targeting the healthcare rights of transgender youth. These orders state in no uncertain terms that trans people are unsafe evil liars deserving of contempt and exclusion. This is not an exaggeration, and the shift in the narrative behind these executive orders is extremely alarming and likely to be seen again as the basis for further attacks against us.

There is a narrative created by these two orders. A narrative that trans people are dishonorable, that trans people lack selflessness and humility, and that we are liars. That we are wrong that our existence is wrong. That it doesn't matter whether transition decreases our suicide rate, whether it allows us to live happy, fulfilling lives. That death itself is preferable to the existence of an adult trans person. That being transgender is by itself wrong and makes us worth less than cisgender people. A narrative that children must be protected from becoming transgender people, even if it means they die. That no one can be allowed to think that being transgender is alright, that it's okay to be a transgender person.

This cannot go unchallenged. It's not enough for trans people to resist alone. This has to come from as man voices as possible. The writing is on the wall. This amounts to dehumanizing persecution intended to foster perceptions of us as inhuman. It is going to get worse. This is week 2. What awaits us in a year no one can say for sure. We need protests we need civil disobedience. We need to help our most vulnerable get out. We need to protect trans youth.

Please refer to the transgender resistance network for mutual aid and help. I had tried last year to organize something here but was not capable of it due to problems in my own personal life.

We need solidarity. We need to help each other. And we have to resist. Not just these orders, not just this narrative, but we have to resist the fall into hopelessness and acceptance. We have to fight. Our lives have value. Our lives are worth the same as anyone else. Don't let them get to you, don't believe in the narrative. Transition saved my life, maybe it saved yours too. Transitioning and seeing others transition has been the most beautiful and rewarding experience of my life. I refuse to accept a reality in which we are forced into closets, forced into hiding. I beg of everyone to join me in refusing that outcome.

[–] [email protected] 22 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Lol, nope. You actually have it entirely backward.

Nazis can never win arguments. They can't. Their ideology is not based on reality. It's not based on material conditions. It's not based on convincing others to join them with hard data or well reasoned positions. Nazis win people over by talking to them. They win people over because people who are privileged are opposed to any recognition of that, and above else want to continue to be privileged.

You will never lose a rational debate with a Nazi. It's not really possible, because the nazi will never make rational arguments with you. Nazis instead will allude to conspiracies. They will allude to secret shadow societies that control everyone and that have the explicit goal of upending class hierarchy to take away privilege. Pay attention next time you see a Nazi argue something. See the language they use and see the way they position reality. Nazis lose rational debates. So they never have them to begin with.

Nazis will instead reach for the nearest loudest microphone and will scream their bigotry as loud as possible. They print newspapers, they do interviews, they famously were highly intertwined with radio networks, and so on. The method by which their ideology spreads is by subversion. It's by creating fear of a secret other controlling everyone. The sad fact of the reality is that you cannot argue against that subversion. The argument isn't rational to begin with, rationality cannot disprove it in the minds of those who believe it. A core part of the conspiracies are actually that anyone who argues against them is a part of the conspiracy. Any opposition to Nazism comes from those secret shadow society elements, and so any argument against it can be immediately dismissed.

Simply put, no. The marketplace of ideas is actually perfect for Nazis. If Nazis can't create mass subversive fear of minorities then they cannot recruit. The KKK has largely been expelled from society for the past century (not entirely). You'd think that in a hundred years if, recruiting from the shadows was better for them, membership would be most of the country. Say what you will about American fascism the average voter definitely doesn't think positively about the KKK.

Speaking with a Nazi posits that their ideology has the same value as yours. By engaging in a debate with a Nazi, which they won't win but will instead use the opportunity to further spread Nazi ideology, you legitimate Nazism as a valid position to take. Now someone can be a Nazi, it's okay to be one you can be a Nazi and still deserve the respect of an audience.

Nazis should be expelled from society in their entirety. Neoliberal propaganda has convinced you that all ideas have value. They do not. Killing minorities is inherently wrong. Spreading ideology that advocates the genocide of minorities is inherently wrong. Nazis should be met with a fist. Their media should be dismantled, and they should be imprisoned or expelled from society. Time and time again we arrive at this same place. When I wonder will anyone actually learn?

[–] [email protected] 7 points 3 days ago

Yeah. It's hard to balance the need to know if i need to flee immediately with the massive amount of psychological damage from being aware of how dire the situation is. Like if I'm not well informed it could mean becoming stuck in a situation that is rapidly deteriorating. However if I am well informed then I just deal with constant panic attacks, worsening depressing, and spiraling mental health. I'm compromising by paying attention for a couple hours every few days and deliberately avoiding all news in the interim.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (1 children)

Deleted what I had written in this comment. It's just not worth it to invest energy going over this again. America is fucked and that especially includes people like me. The trans community is already facing widespread institutional violence like we never have before. Thanks to the rise of fascism. I wholeheartedly reject the need to blame a minority group for the problem and not those in power who actually ran on conservative pro-colonist ideology. This reality was arrived at with a Democrat in power. Electoralism doesn't work.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

I never said I was happy with him. I am saying that it's not the fault of Palestinians refusing to vote for people committing acts of genocide against their people. It is the fault of those people refusing stop funding and arming genociders.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (3 children)

Yeah mhm you're so right. Demanding that the party that's supposed to be progressive stops committing acts of genocide against their people was so childish of them. How dare they. Yup. It's totally not the fault of the democratic party for continuing to commit genocidal acts, nope no not at all never they're always in the right, actually. We really need to defend the poor leaders of the democratic establishment 😔 they only had a whole 13 months to stop committing acts of genocide by arming and funding genociders. Those damn Palestinians, it's their fault that the democratic party had to keep committing genocide against them. If only they hadn't complained so much about being genocided. 😡

/s though again I should hope it isn't necessary

Yeah. I don't think the democratic party would have stopped arming the Israeli military if they had won the election. There is no evidence of that whatsoever. Gaza is so utterly destroyed it is hard to comprehend.

It is extremely gross of you to blame the outcome of the election on a minority of a minority ethnic group who refused to vote for people who were actively involved in committing genocide against their community. That's just the most wildly inhumane response to this situation possible. Nah, it was and continues to be the fault of the democratic leadership who committed themselves both to genocide and to a move to the right. You might as well become a Trump supporter if you want to blame minorities for everything. They hate Palestinians, too. You'd be right at home.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago) (10 children)

Yeah. You're right honestly, it was too much to ask the Democrats to stop funding and arming a genocide. It's not their fault at all, no sir no way. It's the fault of the Palestinian Americans who refused to vote for people committing genocide against their communities.

Youre so smart. So principled. You know exactly who's fault this situation is. It's those damn Palestinians not wanting to vote for people arming genocide against them. How dare they.

The democrats had no choice. They HAD to keep committing genocide against Palestine. Poor Joe, he felt so bad for the Palestinians whenever he signed off on the next missile shipment to Israel. :( He even shed a little tear each time. The poor boy he just had no choice he had to keep arming genocide. He really felt so awful about it the whole time 😔 he'd sometimes even forget that it was happening at all and then remember and feel bad all over again.

It's so normal that you blame the Palestinian Americans who wouldn't vote for people arming the genocide of their people. Yup. There's NOTHING the Democrats could've done differently. You should just keep on defending them forever. You know what, you should do one even better and support them as they continue to slide to the right. Instead of fighting for the party to change, you should continue to blindly support them even as they support the indiscriminate slaughter of starving Gazan children.

I should hope the /s isn't needed here. I'm so fucking tired.

[–] [email protected] 46 points 1 week ago (9 children)

Illegal immigration is principally a clerical issue. A problem of documents. If you give them documents, then they're not illegal immigrants anymore. They're already doing the labor. They should be given legal recognition and protection.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 week ago

You can post a gofundme here. In the post please describe what the money is for and who it is going to. Doesnt have to be legal names or compromising information. Just like, it's for my rent and prescriptions or you know anything like that. I have previously considered more rigorous verification process, but as long as you are transparent about what the funds are being raised for its fine.

[–] [email protected] 40 points 1 week ago (1 children)

Cool. Fuck off then.

[–] [email protected] 54 points 1 week ago (10 children)

Youre the one who said that this has been being done to Republicans for 4 years. Prove it or admit you can't.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 week ago (1 children)

I'm not an American national. Just a trans person. I wonder why it would matter to me when all major social media websites start allowing people to call for genocide against my community.

 

Like in 2016 a rising tide of conservatives emboldened by the Republican victory are starting to crop up online. Hate speech and random attacks directed at the trans community in online spaces will continue and most likely grow louder in the coming weeks. For our safety and mental health I encourage everyone to avoid online spaces that are not strictly moderated. Avoid social media where transphobia and misogyny are tolerated. The effect of constact exposure to hate speech is profound and horrific. We need to shelter ourselves from it as much as possible. I know it doesn't sound very brave to say that but its the truth. We need to look after each other of course, but first of all we have to look after ourselves.

Like everyone here I've been through a chaotic mess of emotions over the past couple days. I am furious, heartbroken, terrified, and sick with anxiety. I have picked apart everything thats happened in the past few months and tried to make sense of how this could happen. The hows and whys of it dont matter though. This is the reality we are confronted with and we have to exist within it. There is no use in praying for a different world. There is no use in lamenting the reality as it exists.

Trans people have made it through so many eras of open hostility towards us. Our community is built on the foundations laid by those who came before us. We persevere because of our solidarity, our empathy and our unity. We must now turn our attention to how we can fight back against this system. We must move our focus to how we can persist within a new world. Trans people still need hormones. We need ways out of hostile communities. We need protection and we need security. Our focus must change to how we can provide those things without the help of institutions. We need networks of supportive cisgender people throughout deep red states. We need supply chains for bringing hormones to people who cannot access them. We need communities online oriented around supporting our most vulnerable.

I am committed to this community supporting all of those efforts, and am looking to become personally involved in organizing efforts as time goes on. Channel your anger and your fear into action. Process your feelings together, support each other, and remember that youre not alone. We are not alone. Things aren't okay. They won't suddenly be okay tomorrow. But we can look after our community. We can push back. It's our duty to do so, for trans youth and vulnerable trans people who can't advocate for themselves and are subject to the whims of the system.

 

I don't know what comes next. I don't know what to expect. It's serious. It's real this time. Prepare for the worst-case scenarios and do not assume anything. A lot has been said about how this administration plans to handle queer rights. It could mean anything. No level of institutional violence against trans people is off the table as of now. Medications can be banned, non-conformity with assigned roles can be criminalized, conversion therapy can be accepted as widespread policy. I don't know. The end result is it's not good. Whatever this change in power means for us, it's not good. I don't want to downplay the seriousness of what's at stake here.

That being said, as escape and resistance efforts materialize, this community will support them. We will persevere as queer people have always had to. When the systems fail us, we rely on each other. Grassroots efforts will come together in the coming weeks and months. I encourage people to do what they think is right and to do what they think will keep themselves and their families safe. We have to stay together and we have to love and protect each other. No matter what happens. Unity and queer power doesn't stop now. Today is a day to mourn the loss of a safe world for so many queer people. Tomorrow, we should begin to steel ourselves for resistance.

I hope the best for everyone. This community is here to support us all as this unfolds. I'm so sorry. I wish there was more I could say or do. The waves of anxiety and fear have been washing over me for the past couple of hours. Let's mourn together, I guess. And get ready for what comes tomorrow.

There's some crisis lines in the sidebar I encourage anyone to make use of if you're unsafe right now. Those are all explicitly trans affirming support lines.

 

I havent gone swimming in around a decade, and now that I'm a little over a year post up I really want to but I'm still so nervous to actually go and buy a swimsuit. 😅 there's something intimidating or nerve wracking about the process.

Anyone have experiences buying swimsuits? Is there any tips going in I should know? I think I know what style I want, a 2 piece with high waisted bottoms and a top with an underwire.

 

I was thinking of making a community engagement post last week in the run up to the Easter weekend and transgender day of visibility, but it got lost under a recent promotion at work and a few busy days.

So yeah how was your Easter weekend / TDoV? 😊 Most of my family is on vacation so I just had a quiet weekend at home with my partner. All the drama that went down with TDoV landing on Easter Sunday was.. unsettling to say the least. I hope everyone was able to weather that storm of hate and propaganda safely.

39
submitted 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 

Hello everyone,

Just wanted to quickly add that the finalized format for requesting engagement has been decided. A commenter in the other thread suggested a similar format. (Thank you @[email protected])

At the start of the body of your post, not in the title, the first line should look like the following.

[Requesting Engagement from _________]

For clarity purposes, this is the official way to request specific engagement groups. I'll respect other methods, but this way, it keeps things nice and transparent.

 

Hi everyone,

I've been thinking over how to address large amounts of outside engagement disrupting the safety of our community. As Lemmy is a large space that extends well beyond the borders of our community, when posts hit front page we often start getting a lot of engagement on posts by people outside of the transfeminine experience. Often well-meaning people engage here and say things that are insensitive, require OP to further explain themselves and their experiences unrelated to the topic of the post, or disrupt the safety of the space for transfeminine people.

This is a problem that I'm taking seriously. The purpose of this community as I see it is and has always been to provide a safe supportive community to transfeminine people. So with that in mind posters are now allowed to request engagement from specific groups on their post. This can be gender diverse people, trans people with unsupportive parents, trans parents, people who have struggled with addictions, trans people of color, etc.

I've seen a few people make comments on engagement issues lately and so I've decided that this course of action makes the most sense to preserve the safety of the community while still allowing engagement from other people when that engagement is wanted.

How you choose to make this clear is for the moment up to you. You can add a tag in your title, state so explicitly in your title, or write it somewhere in your post (try and do so clearly as I might not have the chance to fully read your post in time).

Moderator action may be taken per your request. I'm choosing to keep a steady eye on how this affects the community and to ensure that it isn't being weaponized against marginalized people within our community. I ask that everyone is patient and expect some adjustment to this new rule. A certain amount of discretion will also be applied on a per incident basis, this is not a rule banning all non-transfems from the community just providing posters a choice with regards to engagement.

This new change has been added to the sidebar and is considered effective immediately.

Feedback on this change would be great. If you think some aspect of this should be changed or you have concerns please let us know.

 

It's been a while since we've had a general discussions thread, and with the holiday season ramping up, I imagine a lot of us are feeling very stressed and worn out.

Spending time with family members is always a time, to say the least. Getting my family to respect my partner's they/them pronouns has been frustrating and exhausting. It enfuriates me that they can understand and respect my pronouns, but only because I'm binary gendered. Getting very sick of deconstructing the "them is multiple people" argument, as well as the "I'm still a lesbian even though my partner is transmasc non-binary" conversation. 😓

But aside from that, I'm actually excited about the holidays this year. And I hope everyone has something to look forward to, time with friends and family who love and accept us. We all deserve love, compassion, and acceptance, and to be able to enjoy a time of year that should be representative of all those things.

This space is 100% open and welcoming of venting, frustration, whatever you want to post here. And if you see cishet people disrupting you, disrupting the community, invalidating your feelings or opinions please report them and we will deal with them accordingly. I'm not handing out bans to every cis person who has an opinion on anything here, but this is not a space for cisgender people. If you're reading this and you're cisgender, you are welcome to post and contribute here. By all means, do so. But keep in mind that this space is not for you. You are a visitor in this community. How we feel, how we struggle, the experiences we as transfeminine people have come first every single time. I won't change that. And if you're going to participate here, you need to abide by that.

I just wanted to get that out of the way because occasionally we get an influx of people from other parts of the fediverse here and they are welcome but I continue to see cisgender experiences being used to invalidate transgender ones. And that's going to be a focus of mine going forward.

What are your thoughts on this time of year? What's been your experiences so far with family, the good and the bad? Let's all support each other through this. And what are your thoughts on how this community has been over the last few months? I'd love to hear it if anyone had any suggestions or thoughts on how our community has been operating.

 

I'm starting to hit a bit of a wall with voice training lately. I can find my resonance, I can adjust the positioning of my vocal cords and where my voice is coming from. I occasionally pass on the phone, and I work all day over the phone so I do get pretty regular indirect feedback in terms of how my voice gets me gendered.

But I am very much struggling with pitch and maintaining consistent pitch. It's just not happening and even when everything else is perfect my pitch will slip, and then I'll get misgendered. I cant seem to find a specific pitch and comfortably rest there. I'm also 8 years in at this point, I've been doing voice training for a long time and I just think when it comes down to it I might be one of the women for whom training alone just isn't enough.

I've done a lot of research into glottoplasty and find myself in a financial position where I could hypothetically afford it. Most accounts from people who've had the procedure seem to indicate they've had great results with it, but there's a lot of people who swear that it'll basically render me mute if I get it done. Its minimally invasive and the surgeon I'm considering has good rapport with his patients and I'm confident he'd do great. But on the whole I'm hesitating a little bit and curious what other people think. I do IT work that involves using the phone quite a bit, but if I had to take time off work for a little while that would almost certainly be fine. I don't sing and really don't have any concerns with regard to vocal range either.

Are you considering vocal feminization surgery? Why or why not? Have you experienced similar things with regards to voice training, or has training alone been enough for you?

Feel free to chime in with whatever thoughts you have on the operation or voice training in general.

 

I'd like to welcome @[email protected] to the transfem moderation team! 🤗 Ada is one of the admins of the lemmy.blahaj.zone instance and a very active member of the transfem community. She has already been providing me with assistance in running the community and answering any questions that I have, she's a perfect fit for our second moderator.

The addition of Ada to our moderation team helps maintain the safety of our community and our readiness for more complex moderation issues. Please as always report any rule breaking you see and we will address it as soon as possible.

Thank you so much Ada for joining the moderation team! 😄

 

I hope everybody's had a great week so far. I wanted to make some kinda post to engage everyone in a casual context. I was originally going to ask in the title "who has been really supportive in your life recently?" So if you want to answer that I suppose you can lol.

I myself have to work all weekend but its the evening shifts so I'll be fine. My best friend has been especially supportive of me lately, she took me out shopping when I was in between paychecks and even bought me a couple crop tops I wanted. I really appreciate her being so willing to do those kinds of things with me even tho she has social anxiety. Having supportive people in your helps a lot.

 

Hello everyone! 😊

I wanted to make a post reaching out to the community after we recently passed the milestone of 2K subscribers! I'm very happy with how this community has grown and become a place for transfeminine people to vent and connect and share trans joy.

With the continued growth of the community and the recent wave of new subscribers we have been having some issues with trolls coming in to the community to bully or harass our users. Please be vigilant of transphobic trolls and report any and all rule breaking content that you see. That includes bullying comments, dismissive comments, gate keeping comments - even if those comments are coming from other trans people. Report them, this community is first and foremost meant to be supportive and maintaining that is a priority.

Along those lines, please don't overly engage with anyone coming here to cause trouble or to bully someone. It's not worth your time and just draws more attention to our community as a space these trolls are drawn to. Its entirely possible at some point in the future we may face brigading or other harder to deal with moderation issues. And to that end I will at some point in the future be looking to add another moderator. As of the moment I dont feel that's necessary, but as we continue to grow and our moderation needs expand I will continually reassess.

I'm also happy to allow image posts in this community, but I did recently add a new rule of no NSFW image posts. And we haven't had any yet, but bear that in mind as any that come up will be removed. I think that having image posts is fine in general, though I'm interested to hear if other people think this should be a text post only community more similar to r/mtf.

view more: next ›