Relationships

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Entire-Pen-1680 on 2024-01-12 00:44:50+00:00.

Me (23F) and my boyfriend (26M) have been together for a year now, and he finally introduced me to his parents. He first told his parents about me just over a month ago, but now I’ve met them I’m disillusioned with the relationship and realised i’ve been mothering him all along for nothing in return.

My boyfriend messages me late the night before that he’s going out clubbing (he usually goes clubbing twice a week, and doesn’t bother giving me a heads up) but he says he “won’t be going hard”. Obviously I’m disappointed but not surprised, yet I know there’s nothing I can do. The following morning I check my socials and see pictures of him & friends posted at 4am of them at an “afters”. So much for not going hard. I don’t hear from him so shoot him a “what’s the plan?”. He responds with “grab a coffee somewhere and have a wander. Or maybe we go get a meal” and ends up asking me where I want to go. Now I’m getting frustrated because he had a whole month to organise this.

By this point I’ve already done a few hours of errands, I’ve done my hair, makeup, I go to a nail appointment for a fresh set and on my way to town I pick up a bouquet for his mother.

As I’m walking up to my boyfriend and his parents it feels like a slap to the face. There I am in a silk dress with my hair and makeup done and there my boyfriend is, hungover, wearing the same dirty outfit he wore to the club the night before. His mother makes a comment that she “practically had to drag him out of bed this morning because he still hadn’t gotten up by the time they had arrived”..

My boyfriend doesn’t have a clue what the plan is. He decides Wetherspoons is the best idea (UK chain pub). In Wetherspoons you order on a mobile app, my boyfriend orders his parents meals and pays for all 3, to my surprise I have to order & pay for my food and drink separately. That aside, I am coeliac and the menu in this pub isn’t very allergen friendly. At the time his father makes a comment about how small the portion sizes of their burgers are, and my boyfriend suggests we go to another chain pup around the corner after this - but my boyfriend took me there once for a meal and the only gluten free coeliac safe option they had was a side of mashed potato. That’s seriously it. It really upset me that he raved about how good the food was at that place and wanted to bring us all there next when he knew exactly how upset the experience made me. (Visualise him eating a loaded burger and me hungry with nothing lol) I’m not sure how he forgot, so I sat quietly wanting the ground to swallow me whole.

After the meal we go to an arcade and had a lovely time. His parents are amazing folks who I’m honoured to get to know, especially as his mother is battling terminal cancer and it was very important to me that I meet her at some point.

Overall I’m left conflicted and confused. I have so many questions. He’s 26 and I feel like it’s ridiculous that as a 23 y/o I have to tell him to “dress nicely” or that he didn’t bother to make plans and tried to make me sort something out the morning of. This man has never once paid for my meal, let alone organised a proper date that isn’t buying him a Lego set from a toy store. I feel so dumb for maybe expecting a dinner reservation or a trip to a nice cafe. Or at least for him to pay for my meal this time? Let alone remember that I’m coeliac… he is a career chef. It’s not hard.

A side note, I’m not mad he went clubbing! I’m just confused as it was objectively a bad decision to be hungover when introducing his parents to his girlfriend of 1 year. I know that’s not too much to ask.

Anyway folks what the hell do I do. I feel rotten as this whole meeting has disillusioned me. This felt like the last straw for his low effort and lack of… common sense? I realise now he is incapable of making these adult decisions and directing himself properly. He’s still battling dumb teenage boy impulses as a nearly 27 year old man that has lived by himself since 18. this isn’t the sort of thing that will get better. but I’m stuck in the guilt of having met his terminally ill mother. If we break up I’d feel terrible if she passed away soon after and I’m not sure how to navigate this? Sick and tired of holding on to hope it will get better. Pls help, I’m at a loss and don’t know where to start.

TLDR; my boyfriend didn’t bother making any plans, showed up hungover, forgot I’m coeliac, and made me realise I’ve been mothering him for nothing in return.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/pasios_finest on 2024-01-11 23:37:06+00:00.

This post is very hard to make but I really need advice.

Let me start by saying that I understand it is impossible to be a perfect parent or anything close to it. I can only imagine the weight of that.

My mother is a short-tempered, loud, and high-energy woman in the acting business. While in between work (which can be incredibly barren sometimes), she is constantly on social media writing long posts about her opinions. Her new friends are morons frankly (I could write a whole post about that), and they are a horrible influence on her. She is always loudly verbalizing her thoughts, whether that be things like “okay I need to do the dishes first, then I’ll…” or reading emails, or writing posts. Friends and family love her, which is absolutely warranted - she is an amazing friends and fun to be around at parties - but living with her is something else entirely. The constant badgering and nagging of requests, questions, random outbursts of drawn out stories and opinions is just too much. She preaches about how you should “never let negative energy in,” yet it’s all she does. Even when she’s doing nothing, I am irritated. And sometimes it’s just the way she sighs, or her frantic movements, the way she drives, the way she cries, the way she looks at me, and everything in between. I feel like such scum for all of this.

I have learned to keep my mouth shut; every time I tried to defend myself in an argument, or speak up, even as a kid, it would always turn against me in a “I am your mother! Don’t you dare talk to me like that!” I’ve admitted this to her before, but it doesn’t seem to do much. She loves the sound of her own voice. This is something that I especially resent her for.

…but despite this, I understand how incredible of a mother she is. I would give her the world if I could, because she has given it to me. I quite literally could not and would never ask for another mom. I love her so much.

I always talk respectfully with her, never gives sarcastic comments or low blows - but I can’t say the same for her. She speaks like a child sometimes - and at 26 years old, I’m beginning to realize how childish it is. Recently, the only time we got into arguments is when we have different opinions about something serious.

As you can understand, I am at a difficult crossroads. As a mom, she is incredible - but as a friend, roommate, or someone close in my life, she is insufferable and at times, the root of my anxieties and disgust. She completely lacks the ability to self-reflect and look at herself from a third person perspective.

My father, while plagued by his own mental illness, was unable to take her energy anymore and left. They are in the middle of a divorce. She has been an absolute wreck for the past year, but the sad thing is that I can’t blame him.

My girlfriend is in a very similar situation with her mom too.

I don’t know what to do. I know she can’t change, and I know she’ll probably never be able to dig deeper.

TLDR; The older I get, the more I’m realizing that I don’t really like my mom as a person. Her inability to self-reflect and realize what she’s like to live with is damaging and making me resent her, all the while me learning to keep my mouth shut because she never let me engage in arguments.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/unemotionals on 2024-01-11 22:33:48+00:00.

TLDR: boyfriend of 3 years is rudely demanding his money back since june 2023 and is treating me badly simultaneously.

EDIT: Lots of people are unclear are what I owe him money for. So, basically he uses his credit card to pay for UberEats orders for us, groceries for us, etc. He said he would send me the total of what I owe him at the end of the month, then he didn’t. This continued on and on for months, even though I always offered to pay him half back at the time of the purchase… He would refuse. Then eventually I stopped asking, and he didn’t mention it. I have a life too where I work full time and am in a Masters program, I cannot be micromanaging my partner to do his own calculations he needs to do for himself…

my bf (32m) and me (24f) have been together 3 years. we do not live together, and finances are separate. if he makes purchases that are for both of us (ie: groceries/ordering out), i pay him back 50/50. i make more money than him, he also has lots of debt from the past. he does have a job but rn it’s a shitty help desk job so he isn’t making much.

we have had really rocky times, like pretty much the whole 2nd and half 3rd year of our relationship. we are in couples counselling and have had 5 sessions so far.

i’m also in individual counselling for my CPTSD and anxiety. i’m also medicated. my bf has ADHD but he does not take his medications anymore since he isn’t in university (he graduated from computer science last year).

today, we got into a conflict about him picking me up earlier (completely dumb argument), and we didn’t talk for a while and we decided to cancel seeing each other tomorrow (we had a date planned).

it took him a few hours and he called me back. he apologized for before, but it sounded extremely hollow. then, he brought up me paying him back for all the purchases he’s made since june.

he has ADHD and procrastinated a ton, so he never calculated the amounts since june of last year. we also took a trip in october which i payed majority for, he only sent me $1k for it. the trip was around $6k with everything.

i said, this seems sudden and his tone was completely different. i was also expecting him to ask if we can fix things from the previous fight and maybe go on a date again? but all he was interested in is the money.

he admitted angrily that he doesn’t see this relationship going anywhere so he needs his money before he can talk to me about fixing anything because he doesn’t feel comfortable. implying i am keeping the money hostage?

i said i have 0 problem paying you back, but that we should talk about stuff and i am really hurt at how callous he’s being when saying all of this and he was really mean to me too on the phone (guilt tripping, shaming me, not being responsive to my repair attempts).

i don’t know how to proceed. part of me feels like once i give him the money back, he’s just gonna break up. but that i should give it back cuz that’s the right thing to do. he keeps repeating he’s “accepted and is ready to lose the money and the relationship” which is said in a really shitty tone..

the other part of me feels extremely hurt and upset, at how he is treating me and demanding his money back all of a sudden..

please help, i have no idea what to do next. he said “i know you won’t pay me back anyways, it’s just the kind of person you are” and i feel like he is guilting me a LOT and not taking accountability at all. and basically “pay walling” me to talk about the relationship. he said he won’t talk about fixing anything until he has his money back.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/MintBrownieAngelfish on 2024-01-11 05:41:22+00:00.

He (25M) bought it 3-ish years ago with the mindset of 'if I meet a girl I want to marry, I'll have it already! If I don't, then it's a tangible asset!' (I'm 21F). Dated for 7.5 months before getting engaged.

I think that's a very logical mentality to have, and it is objectively a fantastic ring that's good and well made. It's just easy to see it wasn't picked for me. It's very flashy with a ton of diamonds along the sides, and that's not me. I'd feel more at home if it was simpler or more 'flowy'. It has a square block style that I'm not really liking either, even though It looks nice and some people would probably say it's absolutely gorgeous. It doesn't fit my personality. I feel a little resentful that he didn't choose it for me, but I don't want to feel that way because I don't think he did anything wrong. I'm grateful he was thinking ahead about how he wanted to spend his money. It was a very sound decision and I love that about him. I feel like I'm being nit-picky, but it's come back a couple times over the weeks since we got engaged, and I don't want that to keep replaying. I don't want him to feel like I don't appreciate it or that I don't like wearing it. I like what it means for us but I feel an internal 'resigned' knot when I look at it.

This is absolutely NOT the thing that will cause me engagement/marriage issues. Any thoughts on how I can accept this, or if you think I should bring it up to him, how I should go about it? I don't want to say anything because I don't want to make him feel like he chose a bad ring, but communication's important and I don't want to let it fester.

TL;DR My Fiance got the engagement ring a year or two before he knew me just in case he met someone he wanted to marry, and it's not my type of ring. How do I feel more acceptance of it?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Maisie_136 on 2024-01-11 23:29:39+00:00.

I'll be honest. I've been struggling for years, feeling like I don't know where I stand with my family. It seems like they don't like me. I've become afraid of sharing my achievements because the responses I receive always leave me feeling bad about myself. For instance, when I bought my first car at 17 (with my hard-earned money), my older sister stayed in her room and cried about it, and my mom told me not to talk about it in front of her as it upset her. Similarly, when I achieved a distinction in my college assignments, my dad asked me to explain what that grade meant. When I explained the British grading system, all he had to say was "Oh." No congratulations, no well done – nothing. No one even attended my university graduation. When I shared my starting salary at my job with my family, they all started googling my profession, insisting I was wrong and undermining the value of my work.

On top of this, I feel like I can't do anything right. I'm the only other person in my household besides my mom who contributes to household chores. Yet, if there's any mess in the house, the blame comes straight to me. My dad barely acknowledges me and consistently talks negatively about my boyfriend. For instance, when my boyfriend sent me flowers in the post, my dad said, "Typical man, pretending like he cares when he doesn't." He has also made negative comments about my boyfriend's appearance before.

These are just a few of many examples.

I wanted to ask if anyone else has been made to feel like this by their family, and if so, what did you do? I just feel so lost and exhausted at the moment. I don't know who to speak to. I don't mean to sound spoiled or like I need them to celebrate me, but I just feel like nothing I do is good enough.

TL;DR! I think my family resents me and my achievements as they have been undermining me for years and I don't know what to do about it.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/o8thanks on 2024-01-11 23:25:05+00:00.

My first love (37,m) and I (37, f) started dating as teens when we were both 16 over the course of 5 years. He and I really enjoyed spending time together. We had the best sex, granted of course we both were in our late teens and prob super horny. Legal age of course. But we had the best connection too. Loving music, etc.

As we grew, I found that I was getting tired of him being at times too serious and broody and angsty. We broke up. Coincidentally, I met another guy (37,m) when we were both 21yo and we clicked so fast and became the annoying image of public displays of affection. I don’t think it was a rebound but really just coincidental tt I met someone so fast. I was so in love, so happy and having so much fun I can only imagine how my first love felt. Fast forward 2 years and we had broken up and I found myself trying to reconnect with my first love.

My first love had glowed up, had been dating around and yet we were able to click well still when I tried to reconnect. The spark was still there and we even met one night to try and find a hotel to have a hookup before he left to complete his overseas degree after taking about how we both were still the best sex we had. The hotel we met at a waìs full and both of us didn’t wanna push it. I think this was a blessing cause a hookup would have tainted each others’s memory of each other. Or more importantly of myself to him. I kept trying to make efforts to see him after he came back but I never felt genuine reciprocation from him to date again. So I decided to hold my head high and accept that I wasn’t what he wanted anymore and that if i was the one for him, that he would reciprocate. He never did.

I continued to date until meeting my current husband (40,m) and we have since been married for now 10 years. I loved him and I still do but not in the passionate sense. I think I’ve fallen out of love with him already. We do have a kid (2,f) we both adore and another on the way. For my kids, I’m ready to accept being not crazy in love over breaking up the family. I think there are worse situations to be in. My first love has been out of my mind for many years thanks to him not being on social media. But recently he appeared on my LinkedIn. Successful in his career. Seeing the photo of him was a gut punch. Now in our late 30s, I saw streaks of grey in his hair and I had the same feeling you get when you see your love aging. It’s like seeing a more beautiful version of them. I feel this way too seeing my girlfriends gently grow beautiful grey streaks. But wow his hands, fit with cool veins. Still very good looking.

Before seeing this pic of my first love, my husband had already stopped having regular sex with me for many years. He was always very tired, lazy and even when we tried, he couldn’t last long. Since then his hygiene has gone down. For years he stopped brushing his teeth at night. He also recently stopped vaping and is now back to smoking which honestly makes each breath from him just repulsive.

I know that my first love will never want to be with me again, but something in me knows I will always have a special place in his heart.

I know that getting in touch with my first love is a mistake and will be catastrophic to my marriage if he does still have feelings for me and even if he doesn’t, if my husband found out I tried to reach out to an ex, it would devastate our marriage.

My question here is…how do I stop thinking of my first love. I’m pregnant now and I wonder if this is prenatal depression but whatever it is, I hate this. I wish there was smth I cld do to erase the memory of my first love from my mind as the one that got away. As the one that I decided to break up with. As the one that I couldn’t get back. We grew a lot together, had a lot of first experiences together and I know that’s what makes many other ppls first love hard to forget.

I’m so tired of him entering my mind even 15 years later.

TL:DR

• 38f here. I can’t stop thinking of my first love (38,m) although I’m in a stable marriage with kids I love. Know I need to forget him. At the same time, I can’t help feeling like I made a mistake marrying my current husband (40,m).

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/yoyoyk- on 2024-01-11 21:11:02+00:00.

So for Christmas I spent $250 on my boyfriend, we agreed before the budget was around $200. But I spent a bit extra because I found stuff that he wanted. I put so much thought into all my gifts and they were all things he needed / wanted.

On Christmas Day he gifted me pajamas which I do like and will wear but I asked him if he choose them out and he said his sister and the shop lady choose it which I kinda was off put by because it felt like there was no meaning behind it. The pajamas were under $100 as well.

He told me he got me another gift but it was non-tangible. So he said he bought me a festival ticket which would’ve been $200, but he only bought one ticket and I didn’t have anyone going, he said he was going to buy himself one closer to the date but I felt like that was just too expensive of a event, especially since both me and him don’t really listen to any of the artists going. So I felt like dropping $400 on a festival where neither of us know the artists very well feels like a bit of a waste and I didn’t want him to be that much out.

So I told him that I’d go if he wanted to go, but I don’t want him to do this just for me because it’s not like I’m a dying fan of any artists going. Anyways he sold my ticket which I’m also honestly unsure if he ever even bought the ticket or not because I never actually saw it, it was just all things he said, and he does tend to tell little white lies.

He said to me I’ll get you something else instead but I don’t think he’s going to get me anything because we are already half way into January, which makes me feel a bit sad because I spent months looking for his gifts and there’s things that I need / want that I have been putting off for financial reasons and I do mention this all but he just doesn’t really seem to understand.

I just feel a bit shitty about this whole situation but I don’t know how to go about it. I don’t want to demand for a gift but I just want him to do something nice for me for once.

Tl:dr upset about my boyfriends Christmas gift

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/StrongAd5741 on 2024-01-11 20:39:07+00:00.

I (26F) have been with my (25M) boyfriend almost 2 years now. He really is the love of my life, so sweet, funny, smart, honest, and sincere.

Some background:I came from a family that doesn’t really micromanage me, I am very independent and have been since beginning high school. They fed me, housed me ect. but my life decisions were mine unless I asked for advise. I make all my appointments, make sure I go to them, am just a generally functioning adult with their shit together.

I left a 6 year relationship after realizing I felt more like his mom, and he was also still being controlled and micromanaged by his parents (last straw was I bought us a house and his parents thought it was a joke and threatened to take away his car if he moved in with me?) Anyway, I really wanted to be with someone independent. Current bf had his own apartment, nice job, did his own chores ect. I was relieved since we got along so well and that’s rare to find.

So the main thing I am struggling to come to terms with is realizing he isn’t as independent as I thought.. come to realize his mom is a helicopter mom since my bf has adhd and needed a lot of extra help in school and remembering to do things. She still will get on his ass about things like needing to get a flu shot and needing new tires ect. It also affects me when we go to visit. She will make comments on how we sleep too late (I literally work nightshift so my sleeping schedule is opposite) or play video games too much. She made a comment about this behind my back and then my boyfriend came to me and said he was worried about me having a video game addiction… and then I was like did your mom say something? As it didn’t feel like something he would say, and honestly pissed me off as I want to spend my vacation how I want to… That was our first fight as I felt like I was arguing with his mom and not him.

Regardless, I do think she is a nice and funny person. And I want a good relationship with my future mother in law. I’ve worked hard to have one. I send her pictures of her son when we go on fun dates, take off work to spend thanksgiving and Christmas with them, got her a very thoughtful Christmas gift, help out in the kitchen, be more social than I’m comfortable with (social anxiety which she knows I have) ect. The main thing I don’t do is sacrifice my sleep to please her early bird superiority thoughts.

The most recent thing that sparked me writing this post was after our Christmas visit, my bf mentioned her thinking I don’t like her… which I was confused by since I put in a lot of effort in the relationship. Then he mentioned some ways I could make her think I liked her more? I was like no, if everything I have done isn’t enough, then that’s her problem not mine. And that was that. Fast forward to last night as this still has me agonizing over why she would think that… it dawns on me… he said something to her.. I ask him about it and he admits it. But is too tired to talk about it further, says we will talk about it after work today. He apologized this morning, admitted what he did was wrong and said we can talk more about it tonight. I’m on my period so maybe that’s why I’m more emotional rn but I feel betrayed and sad. I feel like he ruined the good relationship I had with his mom. And made it awkward to see her again in the future. And also how he could just tell his mom things I told him in confidence.

I feel like this is just one of those situations where I just have to forgive him. Like he fucked up, he apologizes and is sincerely sorry (which he is). But the damage is done. I am hurt and annoyed by the situation he has put me in. And also concerned as his relationship with his mom is AGAIN affecting ours.

How should I handle this situation? Am I over-reacting? Should I be more concerned? Do we need boundaries and what should they be?

TLDR- How do you handle a slightly overbearing mother in law?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Island_Candy1993 on 2024-01-11 20:09:53+00:00.

I've been married for nearly 4 years and with my husband for almost 10 years. We have a very open relationship and while we've had issues with normal stuff (dishwasher, poor communication, etc) we've never really had major issues.

We've been going through a dry spell which I've attributed down to work stress and family stuff going on around us and so I've been watching porn sometimes when my husbands not around. Usually I watch it on my phone.

Right before the holidays my husband was apparently looking for a password for streaming service that was in my icloud and while looking for it noticed that i had a browser open that had porn on it. We have an open phone policy so honestly I don't really care as I'm honestly not upset that he found it but he has been incredibly upset. He's particularly upset because the specific porn that was open was focused on guys that were well endowed. He's now convinced that I've somehow settled for him physically.

I've dreaded this conversation. I love my husband fully and I'm fully happy with our marriage and our sex life when we're actually active. I have always known he's insecure but unless he brought it up to me I never felt the need to say more than just how much I love and want him and only him.

It's become a bigger issues because he's still staying at his parents house which is a few hours from our house. It's almost mid-jan and has been over two-weeks and he still hasn't given me a date that he wants to come back. It feels like he's acting like I cheated or something and it's breaking my heart.

I am very hesitant to even ask this to reddit but honestly I'm at a complete loss of what to do, say, and feeling like my marriage might be over somehow.

Has anyone had an experience like this? Is he justified in being this upset? What can I say or do to help him realize I love him?

TLDR My (29f) husband (32m) found porn I had been watching on my phone and has basically moved out

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/pipinna on 2024-01-11 19:46:57+00:00.

I (F20) have fallen deeply and terribly in love with a guy (M19), let's call him Jimmy for simplicity.

Every moment I've spent with Jimmy has been magical. If I wrote it all down this post would probably be 10x longer. I never knew I could feel this way about someone and now my heart is pounding just thinking of him. We noticed each other properly 6 months ago but we have been sort of meeting up/going on dates/hanging out for like 3 months and we've kissed twice but I still feel so confused about our relationship and I can't help but think It may be my own fault.

You see, when I'm around Jimmy my heart feels like It's going to burst, my cheeks feel warm, my body feels numb and there's this terrible knot in my stomach that stops me from expressing myself. I've tried to show him my affection for him with gifts but I realise that's not enough. My problem is that I can barely look into his eyes without feeling nauseous and if he looks at me I feel so embarrassed that I try to hide my face and It's getting ridiculous. I mean come on! I'm 20!

I'm sure this has to be some form of anxiety but I have genuinely no idea how to tackle this! I hope to meet him in a few days and tell him how I feel or be the one to kiss him for once but I'm worried I'll be a coward like always and chicken out.

How do I fix this and be brave? This feels so extreme and I'm tired of making him confused. Please give me advice!

Things to note: Jimmy is my first and only love. Although we have kissed twice we only sort of briefly talked about our feelings which confused me a lot and sort of stuck me in this position.

Also I do realise that this may seem childish or silly but we all move at our own pace and I really cannot help how I feel.

TL;DR: I'm in love with a guy but I'm too anxious around him to express how I feel and I need advice on how to get over it and be brave!

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/smalltownbread on 2024-01-11 18:37:44+00:00.

Edit: one thing i want to clarify that some people arent quite getting right jn their responses is his friend never gave him the screenshots. He showed him in person supposedly. And his friend does a lot of audit work and the photos need to take up a lot of space on his phone, which is why he claims to have deleted the bumble screenshots

Edit2: also just wanted to note hes been cheated on horrifically in the past. He forgave the other girl and he said basically he was determined this time to not be a doormat

Edit3: should also mention the only solution so far is ive been wearing his watch to work. So i see every message in and every one going out. But i feel crazy.

So this past Saturday while my fiancè was away at his second job I curiously looked at his Apple Watch because recently I caught him deleting messages with an ex who kept bugging him. But all those messages were completely benign and the ex knows he’s engaged, so I mostly swept it under the rug. But I decided to check his watch because I know Apple usually does a poor job of syncing deleted messages— just to make sure he wasn’t still deleting messages with her. WELL, my heart stopped because I caught him full-bore flirting with a different girl. One he used to work with who is a beautiful fit blonde.

He suggested a date for them two at this winery (didn’t explicitly call it a date but was still obviously implied), telling her he thought she was going to be famous one day when she sent him some of her poetry, and he offered to bring her soup because she was sick not once but TWICE when she declined the first time. He insisted. She revealed she was VERY sick and he offered to drive her to the hospital. Now this is a girl he hasn’t talked to this whole relationship (well, to my knowledge at the time of this happening)— so all of this seemed crazy out of the blue. So I texted him I was cutting off the engagement and he called me confused and scared. I told him what I found and we agreed to meet at a coffee shop because he said he would explain everything. I agreed.

It was there that he told me he was only talking to her because his single friend showed him that he had found me on Bumble a month ago. Except I deleted my account LONG ago. Either shortly before or shortly after we started dating. And I SWEAR I do not have one. I have no reason to lie on here. I asked him for screenshots of it, and I downloaded Bumble right then and there and punched in my phone number because I was so confused. But there was no account tied to my number. I started to wonder if that was even a true story, but when I texted his friend off his phone, his friend wasn’t confused about me asking for Bumble screenshots so I thought that was evidence that was the real story… however, he no longer had the screenshots. Which was DEVASTATING to me because I really wanted proof on that part of the story.

But anyway— my fiance claims that he was talking to this girl to set her up on the backburner because he was going to try to catfish the Bumble account and if it turned out it was me, he was going to leave me for her. I was flabberghasted because this was a man who claimed he loved me like no one he had ever loved before, and he hadn’t even seemed “off” at all in the past month, that he claimed to know of this “Bumble account” during. Which I feel like if I thought he had a Bumble account I would have confronted him right away. I asked “and what if you never found it?” He said he would just keep making excuses for why he couldn’t see that girl and then let it go. He said he’s only been talking to this girl the past couple days so I checked his Tmobile records and everything checked out. And he’s squeaky clean everywhere else (snapchat, facebook messenger, the like). But I can’t help but wonder how far he actually would’ve pushed things with this girl if she wasn’t REALLY sick or if I had given it more time to play out instead of flying off the handle right away. I hope he’s telling me the honest truth about the situation.

Tldr: boyfriend flirted with ex-coworker after finding a “bumble” profile of me— but I never made a Bumble. So it’s either old or a fake because his friend corroborates his story. How to proceed to build back trust in a healthy way? I’m so hurt.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/MycaBunny on 2024-01-11 17:12:56+00:00.

So me and my girlfriend haven't been together for long time but she did something's that hurt me when we first got together and now im falling out of love with her. In all actuality I know what I might say but I don't want to hurt her so please give me some suggestions

(I was going to say "I think you actually may be a little too old for me and I feel like I cant understand stand you as someone your age would and I think it would be better if you found someone other than me as I can't connect with you as someone else can.")

TLDR: I need help to breakup with my girlfriend

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Ok-Act-3557 on 2024-01-11 16:09:19+00:00.

I'm an upstairs neighbor in a small apartment building. I try hard to not be the stereotypical upstairs neighbor when I can help it. I try to walk very quietly (literally tiptoe above my downstairs neighbor's bedroom late at night to prevent floors creaking), close doors quietly, never play music on speakers, don't vacuum late at night, etc.

One of my downstairs neighbors recently purchased some type of exercise equipment; not sure if it's like a walking pad or a treadmill but you can hear squeaking noises when it operates so definitely something along those lines. Unfortunately, it's right below my bedroom and causes a constant thudding noise, like a hammer, that can't be drowned out with multiple fans and that I can feel when laying in my bed. It's loud enough that I can actually feel/hear it throughout my apartment, but it's really hard to ignore in my bedroom. I hoped they would only use it periodically, but they've been using it every day, multiple times a day.

I know they should be able to reasonably enjoy their apartment and to be fair, they use it between 8 AM-8PM. However, I have to work a variety of shifts for my job. If I come home at 1 AM and go to sleep at 2 AM, getting woken up at 8 AM every day makes me tired. If i have to work an overnight shift and sleep during the day, i get woken up multiple times throughout the day by this machine. I don't like confrontation, but I also never complain about typical apartment noise like TV, footsteps, doors, or talking and I feel like this is not normal noise you just have to put up with. Would it be rude to directly ask them if they can buy some sort of rug or thick mat to help dampen the sound?

TL;DR: Neighbor recently bought some sort of thudding exercise machine that is affecting my sleep schedule and waking me up because it's right below my bedroom. They use it during the day, I just have a shitty work schedule. Is it rude to ask them to put a rug/mat underneath it?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Willing_Top_1745 on 2024-01-11 20:58:14+00:00.

We've been married for over 4 years. On paper he is everything I could of ever dreamed of. He's attractive, ambitious, kind, and one day he's going to make a great dad. I feel so lucky to have met him with the exception of the fact that he has a small penis.

When we first started dating I obviously noticed but he was willing to put in the effort and because he was actually loyal and kind I thought it would be something I would learn to love. However, its been several years since I realized that sex just doesn't feel as good with him.

I feel incredibly shallow and I hate myself for feeling this way. I also feel like I'm completely being unfair to him. However, my resentment is getting worse and worse.

He's started asking me recently if I'm depressed or whats going on because I have been shrugging off sex and I have no idea how to respond. It's not exactly an easy thing to bring up and I don't have an answer for what I could say or we could do to make it better.

I can't tell my friends because I know that would hurt him if he found out. I've tried searching online for advice and everything seems pretty toxic. I feel toxic. I feel stuck. I feel like i've dug my own grave.

TLDR My husband has a small penis and I think I'm ruining our relationship

Edit: If possible, I'd love advice on my current situation and not how we met. I do understand what you're saying and you may be right but that doesn't help where I am. And also, be kind to each other. Thank you

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/ghhhh2019 on 2024-01-11 15:25:34+00:00.

Im 27F dating somebody who is 38M and at first things were going great. We get along really well in general and there is lots of attraction there on both ends.

However, I have only been dating him for 3 months and am noticing that he likes to do “tests” to see how I would react and I find it very strange because I have never dated someone who does this.

The tests in question:

1. We were at a concert and he sat down because he said he was feeling too drunk and needed to sit down for a bit and said he might puke. He was pretending to slur his words and of course I was concerned. So I tried helping him and he just said it’s ok just let me sit down and I’ll be fine. As we’re leaving he goes “I was just joking, I’m a little drunk but I’m fine”.

2. We had a party at his house and after cleaning up I told him I was going to bed and would wait for him upstairs. Like 10-15 mins passed and he still wasn’t in bed so I FaceTimed him and he was acting like he was blackout drunk and belligerent and he was collapsed on the staircase. I obviously went to go help him and bring him to bed but he and I have been very drunk before and he has never done that so I think this was another “test” or “joke” as he calls it

3. He had a work event and called me afterwards on his way home acting super drunk. What was concerning is I wasn’t in town and I knew he was driving so I got really worried. Halfway through the call he just goes oh I’m just kidding I’m fine.

He has done other stupid tests like these in the relationship that don’t involve drinking and honestly it’s starting to impact my trust in him and his words. Like when I cooked him something and he goes “I’m deathly allergic to X” and then goes jk!

I don’t understand the need to do these type of things. Does anyone have experience with this?

TLDR: boyfriend fakes being drunk to see how I’ll react and it’s impacting my trust in him. Is this grounds to break up?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/smalltownbread on 2024-01-11 18:37:44+00:00.

Edit: one thing i want to clarify that some people arent quite getting right jn their responses is his friend never gave him the screenshots. He showed him in person supposedly. And his friend does a lot of audit work and the photos need to take up a lot of space on his phone, which is why he claims to have deleted the bumble screenshots

Edit2: also just wanted to note hes been cheated on horrifically in the past. He forgave the other girl and he said basically he was determined this time to not be a doormat

Edit3: should also mention the only solution so far is ive been wearing his watch to work. So i see every message in and every one going out. But i feel crazy.

So this past Saturday while my fiancè was away at his second job I curiously looked at his Apple Watch because recently I caught him deleting messages with an ex who kept bugging him. But all those messages were completely benign and the ex knows he’s engaged, so I mostly swept it under the rug. But I decided to check his watch because I know Apple usually does a poor job of syncing deleted messages— just to make sure he wasn’t still deleting messages with her. WELL, my heart stopped because I caught him full-bore flirting with a different girl. One he used to work with who is a beautiful fit blonde.

He suggested a date for them two at this winery (didn’t explicitly call it a date but was still obviously implied), telling her he thought she was going to be famous one day when she sent him some of her poetry, and he offered to bring her soup because she was sick not once but TWICE when she declined the first time. He insisted. She revealed she was VERY sick and he offered to drive her to the hospital. Now this is a girl he hasn’t talked to this whole relationship (well, to my knowledge at the time of this happening)— so all of this seemed crazy out of the blue. So I texted him I was cutting off the engagement and he called me confused and scared. I told him what I found and we agreed to meet at a coffee shop because he said he would explain everything. I agreed.

It was there that he told me he was only talking to her because his single friend showed him that he had found me on Bumble a month ago. Except I deleted my account LONG ago. Either shortly before or shortly after we started dating. And I SWEAR I do not have one. I have no reason to lie on here. I asked him for screenshots of it, and I downloaded Bumble right then and there and punched in my phone number because I was so confused. But there was no account tied to my number. I started to wonder if that was even a true story, but when I texted his friend off his phone, his friend wasn’t confused about me asking for Bumble screenshots so I thought that was evidence that was the real story… however, he no longer had the screenshots. Which was DEVASTATING to me because I really wanted proof on that part of the story.

But anyway— my fiance claims that he was talking to this girl to set her up on the backburner because he was going to try to catfish the Bumble account and if it turned out it was me, he was going to leave me for her. I was flabberghasted because this was a man who claimed he loved me like no one he had ever loved before, and he hadn’t even seemed “off” at all in the past month, that he claimed to know of this “Bumble account” during. Which I feel like if I thought he had a Bumble account I would have confronted him right away. I asked “and what if you never found it?” He said he would just keep making excuses for why he couldn’t see that girl and then let it go. He said he’s only been talking to this girl the past couple days so I checked his Tmobile records and everything checked out. And he’s squeaky clean everywhere else (snapchat, facebook messenger, the like). But I can’t help but wonder how far he actually would’ve pushed things with this girl if she wasn’t REALLY sick or if I had given it more time to play out instead of flying off the handle right away. I hope he’s telling me the honest truth about the situation.

Tldr: boyfriend flirted with ex-coworker after finding a “bumble” profile of me— but I never made a Bumble. So it’s either old or a fake because his friend corroborates his story. How to proceed to build back trust in a healthy way? I’m so hurt.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Deezercha__ on 2024-01-11 17:41:22+00:00.

Am i (24f) stuck in a sexless relationship ship with my partner (37m)?

As the title says...

I'm not sure if I'm stuck in a sexless relationship. I've been with this dude ( he's also my coworker) for almost 4 months and nothing ever happened. When I say nothing, I also mean that he NEVER touched me.

I approached him one time and told him that I don't think it's quite normal to have no desire in that part of the relationship, he said that he has them, but he's also stressed and whatnot.

We had multiple chances to do it at work ( we work in live-event industry), but never did because "he's looking out for me" and doesn't want us to get caught ( low chances for that). He also lives with his dad and doesn't have a fucking door in his bedroom, so that's out of the question.

Logically, I'm also with my parents and they have no clue that we're dating.

I'm slowly losing interest to be honest. Do you think this is gonna change or do I get the fuck out of this relationship?

Tl;dr: I think im stuck in a sexless relationship due to my partner of 4 months not doing anything regarding intimacy

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Delilah_bb on 2024-01-11 13:53:04+00:00.

My boyfriend and I, have been together since we were both 15. We now have a 2 year old, we don’t trust the whole daycare thing. Don’t have anybody we trust to take our son while we work, so we’re on a completely opposite schedule.

As soon as I get home, he leaves for work. He arrives while i’m sleeping & when I go to work he’s sleeping.

We only get 2 days a week to see eachother Saturday + Sunday. We’ve fallen into the common routine of having sex maybe twice a month and I do miss it but I more so miss him.

He’s such a great father and my bestfriend, but we have put our intimacy & sex life on the back burner. One of us is always tired or something. Any advice? TIA

Our anniversary is also coming up, on Valentine’s day.

TL;DR: My boyfriend and I don’t see eachother much during the week after our child, I need help on ways I can get our intimate relationship back.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/jijivac232 on 2024-01-11 13:52:42+00:00.

I don’t use Reddit but I thought I’d come here to get an objective second opinion.

I (25F) have been best friends with Sean (25M) since we were 15 but known each other since we were 5. I know what people say about male-female friendships but we’ve always been like siblings, and I can say with 100% certainty that romantic feelings have never popped up.

Sean started dating Aliyah (24F) in uni five years ago. He really loves her and he would always tell me that this was the girl he wanted to marry, even from the beginning of their relationship, so I was so excited when he proposed. I was in town a month or so after the proposal (our schedules haven’t aligned so I never got to congratulate them in person) so I dropped by their house with some flowers. That’s when they both sat me down and formally asked that I be a bridesmaid.

For context, Aliyah has never liked me. She is either cold with me when Sean isn’t around or she’s fake when he is, and Sean has explicitly said that she’s not fond of me. I don’t necessarily blame her - I can say all I want about how there’s nothing between Sean and I, but I know the stigma that male-female relationships carry so I try not to take it personally. I’ve tried on numerous occasions to reach out so we can get to know each other and be more comfortable but she’s always denied. I think it also doesn’t help that I haven’t really dated anyone during the time he has dated her, just because I have been busy with other things in my life and I haven’t found the right person, but given the nature of our relationship, I can understand how things could get misconstrued.

I was shocked when they both asked me to be a bridesmaid. I knew Aliyah wasn’t wholeheartedly into it, and the whole situation just made me uncomfortable. Sean ended up getting a work call so he stepped out of the room so I addressed Aliyah and asked her if she really wanted me to be a part of her bridal party since we aren’t that close and we don’t know each other well (I didn’t bring up the fact that she didn’t like me because I know Sean wasn’t supposed to tell me that), but she just smiled and said that she wouldn’t want it either way. When Sean came back I said while I was grateful, I wouldn’t be able to for work and financial reasons (not necessarily untrue). He looked disappointed but Aliyah was slightly smirking so I had my answer, and left soon after.

A couple of days after the visit, I get a call from Sean, who was upset that I denied to be a bridesmaid because of my relationship with Aliyah and not for the reasons I originally stated. I had planned on not addressing it immediately with him to not complicate things, but it makes sense that Aliyah told him. He said that the past is in the past and I should be happy that she’s ready to work on being closer with me, and that if anything, I should at least try for him. I asked him to try understanding where I was coming from. I already don’t feel accepted by her and we aren’t close, so it doesn’t make sense for her to feel like she has to include me as a part of her party of the wedding. I know she doesn’t want me to be very involved, and that it’s really Sean that wants me there. Bridal parties are already a big commitment so I don’t want her to feel like she’s forced to include me in something that is primarily for her (bridesmaids are there for the bride, groomsmen are there for the groom, I think?). I said I would still come to the wedding and help out as much as I can, but I won’t feel right being a bridesmaid. I made sure to clarify that I did not lie, and they being a part of a bridal party would be a financial burden, especially since Aliyah likes to live lavishly and I don’t have the kind of money to spend on doing extravagant events for that come with being a bridesmaid.

We came to a mutual understanding after a long conversation. He’s not really happy and I’m just uncomfortable but it is what it is. I did get an slew of texts from Aliyah on how Sean told her about our conversation and that she felt bad that I couldn’t be a part of it because of personal reasons but that she hoped I would still be there for his sake. I don’t know the whole situation makes me feel kinda icky but I just wanted to make sure I’m handling it right. There have been times where I considered fully distancing myself from Sean just based on how Aliyah interacted with me because I feel very clearly how much she doesn’t want me there and sometimes it feels like I have a target on my back. Sean told her from the beginning of our relationship that my relationship with him was a non-negotiable and I know that probably bothered her a lot, and I feel guilty for it even though those words didn’t come out of my mouth. So did I handle this okay? I don’t even know what to do anymore.

TL;DR: my best friend is getting married and when he and his fiancée asked if I would be a bridesmaid, I declined because I know she is not very fond of me, but cited financial and work reasons instead. Eventually I have a conversation with my best friend about it and we come to a mutual understanding but the whole situation makes me feel uncomfortable, so I’m asking for input on whether I handled this well or not.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/ghhhh2019 on 2024-01-11 16:35:26+00:00.

I have been dating someone for 3 months. We get along great but I am noticing a concerning trend in how he acts when alcohol is involved. The relationship is new enough that I’m treading carefully and I need advice on whether these are things that a couple can work through or if I should just end things. When he’s sober he’s great, we don’t fight. But when he’s drunk it’s another story.

Some of these things are:

1. We went out for an event, I have bigger breasts so regardless of shirt some cleavage always shows. I was wearing a body con dress and heels and he didn’t say anything about the outfit at home and said I looked beautiful before we left but once we get to the bar with his friends and he gets drunker he started pulling my shirt up multiple times in front of friends. Never have I ever had a bf do this. It was humiliating. He did this another night too but I told him to stop and he did.

2. We were at a party and there was a lot of drinking so I grabbed some food and was eating and I said something along the lines of “here babe have some you might need it with all the alcohol” and in front of his friends he kind of got snappy and said “what’re you trying to do, sober me up?” And this really didn’t sit well with me. I was trying to be caring and make sure he had something in his stomach so again, humiliating to be spoken like that in front of friends

3. This one has been the worst one thus far. We were already drunk and in a restaurant he decides to ask me something along the lines of “has anyone made you cum more often”. This threw me for a complete loop because I have never been asked this, let alone in public. This ended up creating an argument that night and left me with severe anxiety the next day not knowing the effect that this argument was now going to have on our relationship

The fact that he’s 38 acting like this is very concerning. I wouldn’t do the things that he does and I’m 27 lol. So I’d appreciate an objective POV on this situation and any advice you guys can give :)

TLDR: bf is nice when sober but an a-hole when drunk

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/silvi28 on 2024-01-11 15:36:37+00:00.

Hear me out. He had a breakup last January and we started sleeping together since April. He is also my colleague and a very close friend. Anyways we were both very caring towards each other (at least that's what I think). We would text 24/7. He is truly a husband material.

Anyways his mom died first. The last time we talked a month ago where he suddenly snapped at me and was like I know what I've lost in the past and I don't need your overcare, I like being alone. I cannot digest overcaring it's ok in normal amounts and i only cared for ou as I cared for everyone else. Needless to say it hurt me extremely since I was attached to him.

Anyways he apologized the very next day but I didn't reply. His father passed away the day after my birthday last month. I sent him a generic text of condolence. One part of me is feeling guilty that I abandoned him at this tragic point of time and I acted immaturely. The other part of me is like you did good behaving like a cold and uncaring person since he didn't like your overcare, leave him be, you sent him a text that's all. Let him see what a cold person you can be. Idk what to do, I'm having conflicting emotions. What should I do ?

TLDR : "Abandoned" FWB after both his parents passed because I simply was caring but he snapped at me that he didn't want my overcaring and he can't digest it although he apologized but now I have conflicting emotions.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Heavy-Penalty-5177 on 2024-01-11 13:48:58+00:00.

Me and my gf are in a 3 year relationship and she recently asked me if I’ve ever felt like a glimpse of sexual desire or attraction towards other girls. I said probably yes, for some seconds but then I would reason and stop thinking about that because I love my gf and I’m happy with her. Now because of that she is considering ending the relationship because she sees that as cheating. I just want to make it clear that I really love my gf and I would never ever cheat on her and I don’t have at all that desire. Is it actually cheating ? I really really really don’t find it like that, but I would like to get thoughts on that.

TL;DR: my girlfriend wants to breakup with me because I can still feel a slight attraction for other girls. Is that normal?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/bruxa_madalena on 2024-01-11 13:46:07+00:00.

I don't know why it is happening. I always considered myself a pretty smart girl and yes I had bad relationships and sometimes accepted things that I should not but after some days I would finally listen to my brain and dump the person forever. However, in this particular case I just can't and I don't know what to do.

I know that he is bad news but I'm constantly giving excuses to myself and saying that he will grow up or spontaneously fall in love with me. But even if he does, I know that I would never trust him. So I actually don't know what I want. But Right now I just want and need to be with him. Or maybe I just fear to alone idk.

Basically we are in a situationship for this past 8 months. Our first date was pretty great and he was really charming, made questions about me and showed interest. The only red flag was that he seemed kinda racist with some of the comments he made about black people. However, unfortunately I forgot that because he told me he was upset because a black guy robbed him on the street a month ago, so I somehow understand why he was talking like that? After that date, he ghosted me. For a week. Then came back as nothing happened and started asking for another date. I refused. He would text some times asking again but I was always refusing. One day, after like 3 months, I saw him at a party in my city. My city is very big so this was really strange and unexpected. We talked and I agreed to go on a date in the next day. However, he cancelled last minute. I was again upset and ghosted him. He tried to reach me one or two times but I always rejected. Then one day I was bored so I texted him if he wants to hang out and he accepted it. This time the date was horrible. He didn't want to go anywhere where I wanted and again he made a racist comment. That time I was so so so upset that I left him and went home. I was furious and didn't want to see him again, he was just gross to me. I ghosted him for another 3 months and never thought about him anyome. Unfortunately, after that and because of boredom, again I text him some time ago and the rollercoaster started again. But this time He would only want to meet me if it was for something sexual. And he started to say a lot of sexual stuff. He knows that this makes me upset so it's like he's playing with me to get my angry reaction. Well, the story continued like this and the worst part started this week, because we had a date while I was in my period (he knew) and for the first time ever he was kinda gentle and normal with me. Didn't say anything bad, didn't try to make me upset, didn't make the sexual comments and we just watched a movie like normal people. This time the only red flag was that by the end of the movie he became cold and distant and just went home without any proper goodbye. That made me cry and I started to feel like I kinda have feelings for him.

I don't know why I have feelings for this person but this entire week I'm constantly looking at the phone waiting for his message and I just want to see him so badly. It's like I'm completely blind and can't see the bad behavior. Please help me, what is happening and how to stop this?! Am I getting crazy? I feel like the only thing that can save me is getting the ick from me but unfortunately nothing is giving me it.

Tl;Dr - recently gained feelings for a guy with a lot of red flags and don't know how to stop it

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Ok_Pack7804 on 2024-01-11 11:00:25+00:00.

So i have been with T for almost 10 years and our relationship was always good and i loved when he was searching emotional support from me.

So T was always the classic tall and fat guy and i falled in love with him for his sweet and lovely personality.

He was always extremely insecure with himself for his weight and i know it will sound bad but i loved to be his emotional rock and support. He was always so sweet and lovely to come to talk with me about his problems and insecurities and i always loved that soft side of him.

But everything changed 5 years ago when he decided to lose weight and finally solve his insecurities.

He started to lose weight very fastly and started to grow up muscles. Obvious the journey wasn't easy and he thought many times to give up because it was harder than he tought but i was always there for him to encourage him and to motivate him.

He became completly another person.(physically)

He is ripped and with big muscles.

I know that y'all with say "you must be happy for him that he finally went trough his insecurities" and genuinly i'm happy for him because he gained confidence and self-esteem. But one side of me hate the new T because he didn't rely on me that much like before. I know that this a bit fucked up but i just miss the old T that came to cry on my chest and i lovely reasure him that i love him for who he is and i would never leave him.

I don't know maybe it's the fact that i'm still not used to see him this ripped and different.

We used to go to the gym together and we still go now but the difference is that now every girl looks at him and kinda lust for him and even in front of me. I already taught that it could be my jelousy but it isn't at all. In this years of T's transformation i went to the psychologist for my personal problems but jelousy it's not one of them.

I don't know how to expalin it.

It's like when he was the old T i was sure 100% that she wouldn't ever cheat on me because he loved me and i was his rock and his emotional support but now that his body is completely different and most of his insecurities are gone he way less rely on me. He always says that he is extremely grateful to me for my support and that i'm the one for him because i never gave up on him and always been his rock.

So maybe it's all in my head but this taught that now he is more confident and less relayble on me makes me think that he would leave me for a more attractive and beautiful girl than me.

Like i said maybe it's all in my head and he would never do this to me because he really loves me but this toughts are not going away.

Just to be clear i'm not an insecure girl and i know my value very well and in all this years i too have worked out so my body is pretty fit.

So people it's all in my head? I'm just overthinking?

TL:DR; I(28F) miss my bf(32M) when he was fat and insecure

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/umm_misanthrope on 2024-01-11 13:38:58+00:00.

For reference, i (17f) have a friend (14F) that recently got diagnosed with anorexia. She was heavily influenced by social media and her mom, and she's practically screen addicted. (Think ipad kid, but older.) She's been going to therapy and seeing a dietitian, but shes straight up LYING to them both.

Her mother is always at work, so she "fakes" eating by messing up a bowl and making it look like it's been eaten out of, or she chews up her food, and spits it out. I was hanging out with her, and this girl literally cut a piece of bread vertically in half, and still spat it out.

Im actually more on the curvier side, so she ALWAYS makes comments like "i wish i was skinnier" "laxatives are for rich people" "fat people need to die" "america is so obese" "im morbidly obese" etc, and its actually a damn pain, i had to ask my parents to pick me up from her place. Shes even staring at my stomach and showing off her skinny waist in literally every. Single. Mirror.

And she's not helping herself recover, because shes on shtwt and edtwt 24/7, and even joining discord servers for that cause. Her mom doesn't know any of this, according to her, she's just recovering fine. I actually found her twitter account, and it was SICKENING. I genuinely wanted to throw up going through it. She's obsessed with thinspo, and other peoples bodies and her own, i can't handle it around her. Should i tell her mother?

TL;DR my friend is lying about recovering from anorexia, and her mother believes her. Should i tell her the truth?