Relationships

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/endlessquestions123 on 2024-01-10 11:45:48+00:00.

827
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Savings-Nerve-6415 on 2024-01-10 11:22:56+00:00.


I (F24) live with my boyfriend (M25) of 4 years in large city. We moved in together 1 year ago after I had recently gotten a very good new job, that increased my income. We currently pay $730 per week rent, which has been split $400 (me), $330 (my boyfriend).

For context I have been on $180k for the last year, an increase from my job for the year prior to that where I was on $65k Whilst my boyfriend has been on c.$80k.

Whilst I make a large amount more than my boyfriend, he has significantly more savings than me. I have $100k, saved up mostly from my last year working. My boyfriend has $190k, saved up from working, and also a significant recent investment payoff of c.$80k which his parents helped him with.

He believes that he “makes no money” and it is good to “have a security blanket” and I should continue to pay more rent. I am happy to pay a bit more, as I have done over the past year, however I don’t think it’s exactly fair to keep paying more given overall he has a large amount more money than me.

It is probably important to note too that I grew up in a lower income household and don’t have anyone else to rely upon for money except myself. I think I have a pretty good grasp of the value of money, I am very greatfull to have such a high paying job at a young age. My goal is to save as much money as I can whilst in this job for a house deposit to help set myself up for the future. Especially as my current job is very high intensity and I likely won’t stay in this job long term.

Whilst my boyfriend has come from a wealthy family who have supported him financially all his life (eg. providing investments, paying for his university degree) and still continue to give him c. $200 a week to help support him given he “makes no money”. He has a security blanket and can always fall back on them. I am understanding and happy he is able to get that kind of support from his parents although it frustrates me when he refers to himself as not doing well financially and me doing well.

Lastly, he is working in a job that provides very good exit opportunities and if he wanted could get another job likely around $150k. However, is currently pursuing athletics alongside his job and given the time commitment doesn’t want to leave his relatively flexible job.

Am I in the wrong for feeling this way? How should we be splitting the rent?

TLDR: I make more than my boyfriend but he is more wealthy, should I be paying more rent?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/sgb1446 on 2024-01-10 11:20:43+00:00.


My (25M; Erick)) date/friend (25F) Joanne isn’t over her ex, which I didn’t know and it’s getting in the way of things insanely. I asked her out 5 months ago and we’ve only gone on 1 date. I figured we weren’t even dating anymore so I went into friend mode, but a couple of days ago she sent me a bunch of late night texts and nudes and wondered why we haven’t had sex yet, I was kinda baffled because she has been incredibly hard to meet up with. She’ll cancel a bunch, then when I stop asking she asks why we haven’t gotten together

Her and her ex broke up 2 months before I asked her out, that would mean she has been single for 7 months now. They were dating for less than a year. I expected for things to be slow since she was single, but one date in 5 months is excessive. Right before the sexy texts she sent, on New Years she was texting me about how sad she was to be alone and how she had her life with her ex ripped away from her. I asked her if she wanted to facetime so she’s not alone, but she said no

Maybe 2 or 3 days later is when she came on to me by text, she was saying how we should meet up and bang soon, to which I enthusiastically agreed. Then I got radio silence from her which is weird, we normally text a lot. I then tell her how much I like her and she says that’s sweet and she likes me too, but then follows it directly up with “[my ex] is back in our state”. Idk it sucked that right after I admit my feelings, 3 minutes later I hear her ex’s name. I kinda questioned how she knew her ex was in town if he’s such a jerk, I would’ve thought she unfollow him, but I guess not and she said she wants him to pick up his belongings from her place (why not box it up and mail it to him).

She said she appreciates that I’ve stuck it out all this time even though she’s really skittish, but hearing about her ex and realizing him being in town is prob what’s keeping her and I from getting together is rough. She said it’s not that she feels unsafe, he wasn’t abusive, he just doesn’t deserve to be in this state cuz he wouldn’t move here for her. She has gone radio silent again

I don’t know what to do, I felt like we were about to get things going when she sexually came on to me, but we’re stopped again, im getting tired of this, but I’ve never told her how I’m getting weary, should we have a convo about it?

TL:DR: my friend I asked on a date 5 months ago isn’t over her ex. Should I have an open and honest conversation?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Savings-Nerve-6415 on 2024-01-10 11:22:56+00:00.


I (F24) live with my boyfriend (M25) of 4 years in large city. We moved in together 1 year ago after I had recently gotten a very good new job, that increased my income. We currently pay $730 per week rent, which has been split $400 (me), $330 (my boyfriend).

For context I have been on $180k for the last year, an increase from my job for the year prior to that where I was on $65k Whilst my boyfriend has been on c.$80k.

Whilst I make a large amount more than my boyfriend, he has significantly more savings than me. I have $100k, saved up mostly from my last year working. My boyfriend has $190k, saved up from working, and also a significant recent investment payoff of c.$80k which his parents helped him with.

He believes that he “makes no money” and it is good to “have a security blanket” and I should continue to pay more rent. I am happy to pay a bit more, as I have done over the past year, however I don’t think it’s exactly fair to keep paying more given overall he has a large amount more money than me.

It is probably important to note too that I grew up in a lower income household and don’t have anyone else to rely upon for money except myself. I think I have a pretty good grasp of the value of money, I am very greatfull to have such a high paying job at a young age. My goal is to save as much money as I can whilst in this job for a house deposit to help set myself up for the future. Especially as my current job is very high intensity and I likely won’t stay in this job long term.

Whilst my boyfriend has come from a wealthy family who have supported him financially all his life (eg. providing investments, paying for his university degree) and still continue to give him c. $200 a week to help support him given he “makes no money”. He has a security blanket and can always fall back on them. I am understanding and happy he is able to get that kind of support from his parents although it frustrates me when he refers to himself as not doing well financially and me doing well.

Lastly, he is working in a job that provides very good exit opportunities and if he wanted could get another job likely around $150k. However, is currently pursuing athletics alongside his job and given the time commitment doesn’t want to leave his relatively flexible job.

Am I in the wrong for feeling this way? How should we be splitting the rent?

TLDR: I make more than my boyfriend but he is more wealthy, should I be paying more rent?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/ThrowRA_coin2 on 2024-01-10 11:13:24+00:00.


In the past I went to go and get a massage the woman offered me sex I was 17/18 took her up on the offer left bad about it. I got bad advice from some older people that there was nothing wrong with it and once I have a good experience ill understand and feel better about it. I tried having a good experience couldn't and said to myself that this isn't something I want to do again I left it in the past and got on with my life. But how do I find out if this is a deal breaker for my relationship in the future so I can find someone who im 100% compatible with.

tl;dr wanna find a way to gauge wether my past with sex workers is a deal breaker before getting too deep into a relationship

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Former_Blueberry648 on 2024-01-10 11:06:28+00:00.


Hi everyone,

Posting this here as there seams to be a wealth of information on experiences when roles are reversed but not so much about when it is the male with a decreased libido.

For context, me and my partner have been together for 1.5 years. For the most part of this our sex life has been amazing, as has everything else. Think dirty texts, compliments galore, lingerie shopping, experimenting with toys, dom/sub dynamics.

This man will move mountains for me, he is the most genuine, caring, thoughtful man I have ever met and I am very much in love with him.

I first started noticing his decrease in initiating anything sexual around October 23. This coincides with when we purchased our first home together, so obviously lots of stress going on.

He works hard and has a high profile job which also causes him some stress, but nothing out of the ordinary.

This also coincides with a bout of illness (Covid, cold after cold, he tweaked his back too.)

My partner is the kind of man to not initiate a difficult conversation. He is conflict adverse and I have found through the course of our relationship when we need to talk about something major or serious (our future, getting married, having a child) I am the one to bring it up. He will participate in the conversation and take steps to rectify the issues. But I am mentally exhausted from having to bring up the topic of “big things” in life. I think this makes me talk about issues more with him because I know if I don’t bring them up they won’t get spoken about.

Since October I have not had a single dirty/naughty/suggestive text from him throughout the day (we currently live separately until a few weeks when our house is ready!)

I brought some new lingerie and put it on to show him and his response was “that’s lovely, is it comfortable?” And then nothing else.

I brought up to him on the phone one evening that I missed our sex life. He said he was sorry but he had felt unwell so much recently and there had been a lot of stress with the house and travelling to see each other.

2 days have passed since that conversation and I’m yet to notice any difference in him. I’m aware this isn’t a long time but if roles were reversed I’d have made an effort to send a naughty text in that time.

As I said every other aspect of our relationship is wonderful. I am driving myself crazy wondering why there has been this sudden decrease in his sexual appetite for me.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Tl;dr My partner of 1.5 years has stopped initiating anything sexual with me and it’s making me upset. Everything else in our relationship is great.

832
 
 
This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Former_Blueberry648 on 2024-01-10 11:06:28+00:00.


Hi everyone,

Posting this here as there seams to be a wealth of information on experiences when roles are reversed but not so much about when it is the male with a decreased libido.

For context, me and my partner have been together for 1.5 years. For the most part of this our sex life has been amazing, as has everything else. Think dirty texts, compliments galore, lingerie shopping, experimenting with toys, dom/sub dynamics.

This man will move mountains for me, he is the most genuine, caring, thoughtful man I have ever met and I am very much in love with him.

I first started noticing his decrease in initiating anything sexual around October 23. This coincides with when we purchased our first home together, so obviously lots of stress going on.

He works hard and has a high profile job which also causes him some stress, but nothing out of the ordinary.

This also coincides with a bout of illness (Covid, cold after cold, he tweaked his back too.)

My partner is the kind of man to not initiate a difficult conversation. He is conflict adverse and I have found through the course of our relationship when we need to talk about something major or serious (our future, getting married, having a child) I am the one to bring it up. He will participate in the conversation and take steps to rectify the issues. But I am mentally exhausted from having to bring up the topic of “big things” in life. I think this makes me talk about issues more with him because I know if I don’t bring them up they won’t get spoken about.

Since October I have not had a single dirty/naughty/suggestive text from him throughout the day (we currently live separately until a few weeks when our house is ready!)

I brought some new lingerie and put it on to show him and his response was “that’s lovely, is it comfortable?” And then nothing else.

I brought up to him on the phone one evening that I missed our sex life. He said he was sorry but he had felt unwell so much recently and there had been a lot of stress with the house and travelling to see each other.

2 days have passed since that conversation and I’m yet to notice any difference in him. I’m aware this isn’t a long time but if roles were reversed I’d have made an effort to send a naughty text in that time.

As I said every other aspect of our relationship is wonderful. I am driving myself crazy wondering why there has been this sudden decrease in his sexual appetite for me.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Tl;dr My partner of 1.5 years has stopped initiating anything sexual with me and it’s making me upset. Everything else in our relationship is great.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/MonthAlone7559 on 2024-01-10 11:00:58+00:00.


I (21f) have been with my fiancé (27m) for a little bit more than 2 years now and I honestly can’t tell if I’m just making things out of nothing or if there is actually something to worry about. For context, he has done things in the past where he asked for certain photos from an ex/best chick friend (3 days after being with him officially) and a few months later I fell pregnant and he wanted us to keep it, come to find out he started talking to another woman who reached out to him and I didn’t find out till the day I miscarried. He swears he had no emotions towards her whatsoever but the messages and the way he went about it said otherwise especially since he has a huge p*rn addiction.

Long story short, he has lied and hid multiple things from me our entire relationship and even before our relationship just so that I would date him. He even made a promise to stop and start to change when our daughter was born (different baby) and then I found out he continued to lie and hide things a few months ago and then made me yet another promise a couple months ago and found out last night he’s yet again lying but also now starting to click on certain girls FB profiles consistently, girls that are in our area. I feel like he’s trying to look for options and when I asked why he was he said he didn’t know why he was going back to certain ones (they aren’t women that are posting provocative photos, just women from our area that are quite pretty and post a lot of rants about their day, they’re not even posting photos of themselves) so I asked if he was looking for other options then and he said no but he’s not sure why he keeps looking back at certain women’s profiles but he knows for a fact he’s not looking for options nor thinking of ever reaching out to them and that I don’t know what he thinks because I’m not him. I don’t know what to do anymore or what to believe.

TL;DR: fiancé of 2 years is consistently looking at certain FB profiles of women in our area and keeps going back to certain ones. Should I be worried or is it just nothing?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Specialist_Row559 on 2024-01-10 04:55:21+00:00.


This is going to be long so Buckle up… I F (18) and M (17) have been in a 10 month long situationship. At first I really did like him, he is super sweet and treats me amazing. I am his first actual girlfriend so he is very obsessed with me. But it feels like overtime my obsession for him wore off and everything he does makes me feel icky. We have ended things multiple times but everytime we end things i end up missing him and we get back together. But when I’m with him it feels like I’m only there because I’m afraid to hurt him. I don’t have feelings for anyone else I just don’t think I have as many feelings as he does. but when other girls try and talk to him I get very jealous?!? I don’t know why this is happening to me but I need advice because I’m stuck. I leave for college soon and he’s still going to be in highschool so I’m also stressing about that. I don’t know if I should end things or try and make the little bit of feelings I have work??

TL;DR; : overall I know I have a tiny bit of feelings for him but I don’t know if I want to waste time on someone I don’t completely want.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Apprehensive_Ice5955 on 2024-01-10 03:23:49+00:00.


I’ve been dating a girl for 6 months (Me 32, her 42). She has 2 kids which I’ve welcomed with open arms and has been divorced for 7 years. We feel very strongly for one another but have discovered we’re on completely different pages on some things. She’s very attractive/social and for the past 2 months I’ve been struggling with things in relation to that which I’ll try to summarize. I think for a relationship to work you both need to bend a little and meet in the middle but she fights me over every single one of these things, but I think theyre reasonable. She says I’m choosing to feel how I feel and it’s immature/insecurity, and is starting to feel controlled saying there’s ALWAYS something with me.

  1. I said I don’t want her slapping guys on the ass. She did this to both her friend and bro in law before and sees no issue. Even said if they did it back it’s ok too which baffles me bc no man is ok with this.
  2. Limit interactions with past sexual partners. She has an ex-FWB in her and my cousins immediate friend group. In all my past relationships this was a hard no contact boundary but I’m trying to accommodate.
  3. Not calling other men attractive/cute. She thinks it’s ok if it’s a celebrity or a guy in my family. She did this every now and then and it always made me feel uncomfortable. I’d never make comments or look at another woman like this.
  4. Not being overly social with dudes in the gym. Obviously it’s fine if she has male friends but I went to her gym with her twice and both times it felt like she’s chatting it up with so many of them. Gym guys don’t have pure intentions, she’s half naked and they find her attractive.
  5. I guess at the friends Xmas party every year she wears a onesie with butt flap and drops the flap to be funny, I said I don’t want her doing that in front of guys
  6. Not having her exes last name connected to her first name anywhere. She sent me an email and i saw his last name. I texted her thinking it’d be a quick 2sec fix without issue since it’s not even her last name anymore but she fought me over it and it turned into this huge thing.

And then there’s a couple details about her more in depth sexual history that I’m trying to accept and move past (got pregnant from a guy 14yrs younger but aborted the baby, and has let every partner finish inside her). She insisted on talking about our sexual pasts but I never wanted to as these convos are extremely sensitive to me.

tl;dr

-GF and I on diff pages towards certain things

-She’s starting to feel controlled

-Am I guilty or are these things reasonable

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/DifferentSympathy998 on 2024-01-10 10:55:11+00:00.


She has given me the cold sore virus. I am devastated. I momentarily forgot she has it. I was too drunk and she only told me about it a couple months ago.

I know she did not forget. You couldn’t ever forget you have this.

I don’t normally ever drink from the same glass as someone. I take responsibility for these things but I don’t think I will ever completely get over this or trust her again. I think if you have an incurable virus you should educate yourself on asymptomatic shedding so as not to be a risk to other people.

I have a knot of stress in my stomach. I feel frozen and I can’t work.

I’m scared I have already spread it to one of my kids. I know that’s ironic. The only thing that will make me feel better is if that hasn’t happened.

I’m scared I could have spread it to other areas of my body with it being a first infection.

I just feel so resentful I’m trying not to but I can’t help it. She contracted it because she was continually reckless about sharing vapes and drinks with people and I don’t understand how someone can be so careless, all the time.

Hardly anyone I’ve spoke to gets why this is a big deal to me. Even the doctor. I almost cried.

I should probably never drink again. But it’s a bit late for that.

TL;DR sister gave me herpes, I have ocd about everything and everyone around me being infected now.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/queasily-queer on 2024-01-10 02:07:16+00:00.


Made a post about this issue yesterday but it got deleted today for not asking an advice-seeking question and instead asking for a judgment call - which, in all fairness, I might've done without realizing. This time around I've had a whole day to reflect, process, talk to my therapist and write something in a much less over-sensitive headspace:

My boyfriend (26m) and I (22m) have been dating for 9 months, and at some point around the 6-month mark I noticed myself slowly finding a lot of the more romantic and sugary things my boyfriend did (and still does) to feel a little much - overwhelming or even suffocating at times - however I mostly tried to brush it off and continued to behave in the way that I thought I had been behaving the entire time since our relationship started (my bf would very much disagree on this). Eventually I, not being able to properly put my finger on what the issue was at the time, talked to him about how our relationship had started to feel "off" to me, and this is pretty much when everything started to slowly derailed.

During that first conversation we almost broke up, realizing that we might not be the most compatible. Obviously we managed to talk it through and things more or less restabilized, however my feelings were still very much there, if not more present than before. Not a month goes by before another conversation like the one before strikes up again, this time he added concerns of his own, saying how he felt as though I was only doing the bare minimum that is to be expected from a partner and that I should go to greater lengths to display my affection for him as, and I quote, "I had done in the past" (e.g. Greeting him "good morning/night" every day; saying "I love/miss you"; taking up initiative; having romantic gestures)

We had two more conversations after that, with the most recent one having taken place last weekend. Much like I did during the aftermath of the very first conversation, it feels like every time this issue arises and our concerns stay the same it chips away at me and my overall desire to be in this relationship.

Today I finally think I have found the words to what (I think) may be happening here: he's still in the honeymoon phase. I tried to think why he kept bringing up my behavior from the beginning of the relationship (which I think truly HASN'T changed... it just grew less saccharine and more low-key) and more concretely the frequency at which I did so many of these gestures he refers to as the "bare minimum" - as in, he'll acknowledge I still practically do all of the things he lists as examples, just not in a frequency that makes him feel as loved as before.

My question, I guess, is not just one... I don't know how to get through to him anymore, and he clearly feels the same, but because he's still in the "honeymoon phase" in his mind he says he's willing to forgo all the things he claims to be missing from me and stay in the relationship. Meanwhile I feel like I'm forcing him to settle for less and am rapidly growing tired of the "having conversations" of it all.

EDIT: Something I think it's important to note but that I forgot to include is that to him this is my own sort of "phase" and he wants to try and make things work because he "believes in my potential". This had made me question whether or not he's right (I'm inclined to say he's not), and if I'm just more low-key in my affection or if he just doesn't "awaken" that within me anymore.

TL;DR: My boyfriend is still feeling and acting as in love as we did when we first started dating ("honeymoon phase") while I've sort of outgrown it and am much more "subdued" in my affection - this has been creating a sense of disconnection on my end for the past 3 months and despite ceaseless conversation I'm not sure how I might get through to him or work this out (or if I even can or should). Additionally, despite the disagreements, he says he's happy and in love and wants to make the relationship work.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Nananana887 on 2024-01-10 10:51:08+00:00.


I (F28) have been dating him (M28) for 6 months. I am a fearful avoidant and he is very dismissive. I know that he cares for me deeply. He is very consistent with seeing me and never cancels, is not the best texter but makes an effort and treats me like I am special to him. We have a strong emotional connection and can just lie down for hours starting at eachother. The problem is that we have been avoiding having the ”talk” until a couple of days ago when I brought up exclusivity.

He said yes but I sensed a tornado of emotions brewing inside of him. He admitted to being unsure if he is ready for formal commitment, despite not being with anyone else since meeting me. He kept asking himself outloud ”Am I ready” over and over again and got really anxious. He explained that he finds it very hard to trust people and keeps everyone in his life at a distance. He has never been in a long term relationship and the last relationship he had was 7 years ago. Strangely I find that this talk brought us closer together and he wouldn’t let go of me for the rest of the night. He even told me that he has talked to his parents about me.

I’m at a loss of how to continue. I love him but at the same time this uncertainty is killing me.

tl;dr Dating someone who is scared of commitment after 6 months.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Cherry-red-2110 on 2024-01-10 10:49:29+00:00.


I (20F) been talking to this guy (24M) for a week now, there's been a bit of flirting here and there but we haven't met up or anything yet. This morning we had a short conversation and then he left me on delivered... I assumed he was just busy until he reacted to a picture I posted of my outfit on Instagram with heart eyes (he only likes the pictures of me on my story never anything else) I'm just a bit confused cause he still hasn't replied to me but he's clearly on social media, is he interested or not?

Tldr: he left me on delivered but reacted with heart eyes to my story hours later... is he into me or not?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/kawykawy on 2024-01-10 10:43:18+00:00.


I'm a 21-year-old girl who just split up with my boyfriend, 22M, after nearly 2 years together. I keep questioning if I made the right call or if I'm just being unreasonable. It all started when I playfully asked him to put me in his IG story. Normally, I'm not big on being all over social media, but that time, I thought it'd be nice. He didn't do it, and at first, I let it slide.

After a few days, I joked about it again, saying, 'Maybe you're protecting someone's feelings?' We laughed it off, but he still didn't post anything. Then on Christmas, I brought it up calmly, explaining that I feel like he's protecting someone's feelings. He brushed it off, saying it's not a big deal, it’s just a story. Things got tense, and I got frustrated trying to explain why it mattered to me. We ended up fighting that night, and I couldn't understand why it blew up. The situation escalated, and he even blocked me from calling him. I was upset and cried myself to sleep.

The next day, we talked, but he apologized. I calmly asked why he refused to post about me. He said he wanted privacy and didn't want his friends to think I'm his whole world. I was confused because we hardly post about each other, and we see each other only once a week due to the distance. I couldn't see why anyone would think I'm his whole world or why it would be an issue. I tried explaining this, and it turned into another big fight.

I explained to him that being featured in his story would definitely make me feel special, especially since we seldom go on dates and have limited meet-ups due to distance and financial issues, which I understand and am considerate about. I told him I get our situation and that while we can't change it at the moment, assurances would mean a lot. Instead, all I heard from him was him defending himself for why he couldn't post about me. I told him that he couldn't even do the simplest thing (post about me) to ease my worries about him talking to other girls. I felt ugly and unworthy, wondering what I did wrong. It was frustrating and exhausting.

But now, I'm second-guessing breaking up with him. I feel like this fight is really shallow and petty, and I hate that I had to break up with him over this. Maybe I overthought things? Overanalyzed? I'm not sure. Did I mess up? Did I do wrong? I genuinely want to hear people’s thoughts about this, especially men, because I’m really confused.

TL;DR: Boyfriend refused to post me on his IG story. Broke up with him, now I feel like I'm being unreasonable.

[EDIT] I trust him, and I don’t think there is really a “girl” he’s talking to and that’s why I don’t get why he couldn’t do it. Idk if I’m just being naive or what but I really don’t think he’ll cheat on me or something : (

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Life_in_the_shadows on 2024-01-10 10:36:43+00:00.


Hi everyone! So pretty much everything is on the title. I'm not sure if I'm (F350) being unfair with one of my best friends (F31) or not. She was his friend during college but they have been in an on and off friendship for years now.

The situation is: they met for dinner and then she invited him (M33) and his new boyfriend go stay overnight at her and her partner's place, as they also planned some activities the following day. They know he abused me emotionally and psychologically, but she's the one that knows most of the details.

I'm not mad about the 'having dinner' part, but what hurt me and made me feel betrayed is the staying overnight and planning some extra activities the next day. I don't think I'll do all of this with someone that has abused one of my friends and even less when I know a lot of what happened.

Am I being unfair? I'm going to talk to her in person about this but wanted to vent and get some insight from people that have nothing to do with our situation.

TLDR: Female best friend planned two days of spending time and fun activities together with my abusive ex-boyfriend and his new boyfriend. I'm hurt and I feel betrayed, as I would never meet and let my best friend's abuser stay at my place and do stuff like if what he did never happened. Am I being unfair?

Thanks!

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/FelixDJR on 2024-01-10 09:13:40+00:00.


I (31M) found a text in my girlfriend’s (24F) phone from a co-worker that says “I hope your boyfriend doesn’t mind.”

I knew that guy. They seem quite close and go out together every few weeks. Of course, she said “with others”.

Am I overthinking?My mind is definitely open to the possibilities of the things he could have “done” to her. What on earth would I “mind” that much?

Should I ask her directly or pretend nothing happened?

TL;DR: My girlfriend's coworker texted her and hope "your boyfriend does't mind".

843
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Imnotreallyhere-_- on 2024-01-10 08:18:43+00:00.


My partner is an extremely wonderful man and is an even better partner. But I am struggling with one specific trait of his that makes me uncomfortable.

He has a very sarcastic sense of humor (I do too) but one thing he does is pretend to be mad at me/ pretend to be upset or "trick" me. Ex: I spilled my water tonight and he said oh not on my nice pants those will be ruined fuck babe are you serious etc etc and he keeps it going for long enough that I actually start apologizing and having intense anxiety.

For context I am a DV survivor and my previous partner would be ACTUALLY mad at me over small things AND "joke" about being mad, so I never knew what was going on. He did this in addition to extreme gaslighting to make me really question myself and my reality. This is triggering and opens wounds. It was one of the first red flags I ignored last time and it makes me question is he just being insensitive and speaking before thinking or is this the beginning stages of the grooming and abuse cycle like it was last time? I was psychologically tortured (as well as physically and s*xually abused) by my last boyfriend.

I have told my current partner that I do not think this is funny repeatedly and I have explained why. He says this is just how he's always joked and he will try but doesn't know if he can stop. This makes no sense to me. I don't know what to do about this. Please any insight would help. I'm in too triggered of a mind space to process this logically. Thank you

TL;DR! My bf makes jokes that upset me and says he doesn't know how to stop. Don't know if I'm overreacting or underreacting.

844
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/JadinniClassics on 2024-01-10 08:06:03+00:00.


So I (17m) and this girl (18f) met roughly a year ago and became friends, long story short after a while I started getting feelings for her, and she confessed to me (after like a month or so) that she likes me aswell. We start "dating" (quotes because we never actually went out, broke teenager woohoo) and this lasts for roughly 2 weeks when my parents find out and force me to cut contact with her for 6 months. If you want a more detailed explanation of this part of the story, refer to my profile where I made a post on this sub when the incident first occurred.

in a tragic turn of events, roughly 2 months into going no contact with her, she sends me a text out of nowhere on discord (my parents had blocked her on everything else) and she states that she wants me to respect my parents wishes of not talking to her, and that she thinks we went a bit too fast, and that she's going to think about whether or not she likes me anymore (ouch)

It has now been almost 5 months since my parents have come to their senses and are letting me talk with her and text her again, and we've been staying friends. We play apex together sometimes, and we text almost every day, problem is, I have absolutely no idea if she still likes me or not. We don't have that many deep conversations like we used to, she's found herself a consistent friend group with other girls her age (when we first met she had just moved here and I was one of her only friends) and although we have kept a strong friendship, it feels like there's no chance she could still like me after so much time of not speaking.

(And this is a side note, but from what I've seen she's joined a local skit group, and she's befriended another guy in her skit team, and I think he might like her/she likes him, VERY VERY VERY speculative and I'm probably just overthinking/paranoid but its a detail and a concern nonetheless)

I'm too scared to flirt with her because I don't wanna risk her being mad at me, and for a while ive been fine with being friends, but over the past week or so my heart is just completely breaking, my mental state is declining, and all I can think about is just HER,

it got to the point where earlier today when I was playing apex with her, I was stumbling over my words and I could barely get a single thought out. I'm lovesick, im affection starved, and I need help.

So please people of reddit, give me some insight here. She used to like me alot, can that feeling go away so soon? Should I tell her I still feel the same even though we can't start officially dating yet. (Both of us too busy with senior year stuff)

if you guys need any clarification or any extra explaining in the comments I WILL respond and provide as much detail as I can, I need help here and I hope you guys can provide

I'm desperate here ~Jadon

TLDR - me and this girl like each other, parents block me from speaking with her, 7 months later idk if she likes me still

845
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Infamous_Demon on 2024-01-10 07:54:06+00:00.


I have no idea what to do and I could really use some advice. My partner told me on Christmas Eve that he wants to move out and be alone for a while but still be with me mainly sexually. I have been completely floored and devastated and have done nothing but worry and wonder how me and our 15 yo so will get by as my partner makes mostly all the money. I only draw less than $900 from social security.

This man went from loving and close to cold and distant almost over night and expects me to be OK with him sleeping next to me and living in my house (grandmother left it to me) until the day before my birthday in April.

Do I give up on more than 16 1/2 years or do I try to win him back.... other than my son he's all I've got. I've lost my entire family including a son within these last 6 years

TL;DR He wants to be with me without being with me anymore after the day before my birthday in April.

846
 
 
This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Imnotreallyhere-_- on 2024-01-10 08:18:43+00:00.


My partner is an extremely wonderful man and is an even better partner. But I am struggling with one specific trait of his that makes me uncomfortable.

He has a very sarcastic sense of humor (I do too) but one thing he does is pretend to be mad at me/ pretend to be upset or "trick" me. Ex: I spilled my water tonight and he said oh not on my nice pants those will be ruined fuck babe are you serious etc etc and he keeps it going for long enough that I actually start apologizing and having intense anxiety.

For context I am a DV survivor and my previous partner would be ACTUALLY mad at me over small things AND "joke" about being mad, so I never knew what was going on. He did this in addition to extreme gaslighting to make me really question myself and my reality. This is triggering and opens wounds. It was one of the first red flags I ignored last time and it makes me question is he just being insensitive and speaking before thinking or is this the beginning stages of the grooming and abuse cycle like it was last time? I was psychologically tortured (as well as physically and s*xually abused) by my last boyfriend.

I have told my current partner that I do not think this is funny repeatedly and I have explained why. He says this is just how he's always joked and he will try but doesn't know if he can stop. This makes no sense to me. I don't know what to do about this. Please any insight would help. I'm in too triggered of a mind space to process this logically. Thank you

TL;DR! My bf makes jokes that upset me and says he doesn't know how to stop. Don't know if I'm overreacting or underreacting.

847
 
 
This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Dry-Presentation186 on 2024-01-10 06:58:35+00:00.


Yesterday, my (32f) boyfriend (30m) and I were on FaceTime. I told him I’d call him back because I was eating dinner at a restaurant with my kid(6m). While there I decided I would have a margarita with my dinner. He proceeded to tell me how I’m making bad decisions by having a single drink at a restaurant. I reassured him many times, this is my only drink, I will most likely not finish it, and even then I’m going to eat and hang out before leaving to drive home. I said multiple times how I would never drive inebriated with my kid.. ever. I told him I appreciated his concern but I was definitely ok.

*I also want to point out that I have a career and education AND I don’t want to risk being involved in any issues behind alcohol. Never have, hope never to do so.

He continues to go on about how I’ll get pulled over and they’ll make me do a breathalyzer. Again, I told him that’s ridiculous and I’m totally NOT intoxicated, let alone anywhere near unable to drive. I am a very cautious and concerned mother and I wouldn’t do anything that could put my son or myself in danger.

*He’s not a drinker but he did have a few sips of my mojito last weekend on our date ironically. (He was the driver btw)

Anyway, after getting tired of being ridiculed and explaining myself for 2 to three minutes ( and he wasn’t mean per se, just kind of nagging) I said I’ll call him back after dinner. He was actually killing the vibe for me and my kid and I didn’t want to hear it anymore. I told him I’ll call him on the way home if that makes him feel better. He continued to talk about how HE would’ve done things. I told him again…”I’m getting off the phone now”. He said fine “I won’t be concerned about you anymore”. I said “whatever!” And hung up. Literally one minute later I called back, but he didn’t answer. I also texted him “I’m sorry for hanging up.” He didnt call back and I told him take some time to cool off.

Honestly I feel like telling someone you no longer want to talk is enough and hanging up is only really hanging up if you have no warning. I texted him this morning and told him “still take his time if he needed it, but that I missed him.” He was still mad today and said he wanted to break up “because hanging up is like spitting in his face”.

He said I was explosive, and that he should be the one angry. He said that our communication is “fragile”.

TL;DR : I feel like I’m being manipulated into feeling like I’m the problem after hanging up on my boyfriend for criticizing me. He broke with me saying I’m practically spit in his face bc I hung up, but I told him I wanted to end the conversation.

Is this minor enough to be worked out, or should I move on?

848
 
 
This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/JadinniClassics on 2024-01-10 08:06:03+00:00.


So I (17m) and this girl (18f) met roughly a year ago and became friends, long story short after a while I started getting feelings for her, and she confessed to me (after like a month or so) that she likes me aswell. We start "dating" (quotes because we never actually went out, broke teenager woohoo) and this lasts for roughly 2 weeks when my parents find out and force me to cut contact with her for 6 months. If you want a more detailed explanation of this part of the story, refer to my profile where I made a post on this sub when the incident first occurred.

in a tragic turn of events, roughly 2 months into going no contact with her, she sends me a text out of nowhere on discord (my parents had blocked her on everything else) and she states that she wants me to respect my parents wishes of not talking to her, and that she thinks we went a bit too fast, and that she's going to think about whether or not she likes me anymore (ouch)

It has now been almost 5 months since my parents have come to their senses and are letting me talk with her and text her again, and we've been staying friends. We play apex together sometimes, and we text almost every day, problem is, I have absolutely no idea if she still likes me or not. We don't have that many deep conversations like we used to, she's found herself a consistent friend group with other girls her age (when we first met she had just moved here and I was one of her only friends) and although we have kept a strong friendship, it feels like there's no chance she could still like me after so much time of not speaking.

(And this is a side note, but from what I've seen she's joined a local skit group, and she's befriended another guy in her skit team, and I think he might like her/she likes him, VERY VERY VERY speculative and I'm probably just overthinking/paranoid but its a detail and a concern nonetheless)

I'm too scared to flirt with her because I don't wanna risk her being mad at me, and for a while ive been fine with being friends, but over the past week or so my heart is just completely breaking, my mental state is declining, and all I can think about is just HER,

it got to the point where earlier today when I was playing apex with her, I was stumbling over my words and I could barely get a single thought out. I'm lovesick, im affection starved, and I need help.

So please people of reddit, give me some insight here. She used to like me alot, can that feeling go away so soon? Should I tell her I still feel the same even though we can't start officially dating yet. (Both of us too busy with senior year stuff)

if you guys need any clarification or any extra explaining in the comments I WILL respond and provide as much detail as I can, I need help here and I hope you guys can provide

I'm desperate here ~Jadon

TLDR - me and this girl like each other, parents block me from speaking with her, 7 months later idk if she likes me still

849
 
 
This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Infamous_Demon on 2024-01-10 07:54:06+00:00.


I have no idea what to do and I could really use some advice. My partner told me on Christmas Eve that he wants to move out and be alone for a while but still be with me mainly sexually. I have been completely floored and devastated and have done nothing but worry and wonder how me and our 15 yo so will get by as my partner makes mostly all the money. I only draw less than $900 from social security.

This man went from loving and close to cold and distant almost over night and expects me to be OK with him sleeping next to me and living in my house (grandmother left it to me) until the day before my birthday in April.

Do I give up on more than 16 1/2 years or do I try to win him back.... other than my son he's all I've got. I've lost my entire family including a son within these last 6 years

TL;DR He wants to be with me without being with me anymore after the day before my birthday in April.

850
 
 
This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Dry-Presentation186 on 2024-01-10 06:58:35+00:00.


Yesterday, my (32f) boyfriend (30m) and I were on FaceTime. I told him I’d call him back because I was eating dinner at a restaurant with my kid(6m). While there I decided I would have a margarita with my dinner. He proceeded to tell me how I’m making bad decisions by having a single drink at a restaurant. I reassured him many times, this is my only drink, I will most likely not finish it, and even then I’m going to eat and hang out before leaving to drive home. I said multiple times how I would never drive inebriated with my kid.. ever. I told him I appreciated his concern but I was definitely ok.

*I also want to point out that I have a career and education AND I don’t want to risk being involved in any issues behind alcohol. Never have, hope never to do so.

He continues to go on about how I’ll get pulled over and they’ll make me do a breathalyzer. Again, I told him that’s ridiculous and I’m totally NOT intoxicated, let alone anywhere near unable to drive. I am a very cautious and concerned mother and I wouldn’t do anything that could put my son or myself in danger.

*He’s not a drinker but he did have a few sips of my mojito last weekend on our date ironically. (He was the driver btw)

Anyway, after getting tired of being ridiculed and explaining myself for 2 to three minutes ( and he wasn’t mean per se, just kind of nagging) I said I’ll call him back after dinner. He was actually killing the vibe for me and my kid and I didn’t want to hear it anymore. I told him I’ll call him on the way home if that makes him feel better. He continued to talk about how HE would’ve done things. I told him again…”I’m getting off the phone now”. He said fine “I won’t be concerned about you anymore”. I said “whatever!” And hung up. Literally one minute later I called back, but he didn’t answer. I also texted him “I’m sorry for hanging up.” He didnt call back and I told him take some time to cool off.

Honestly I feel like telling someone you no longer want to talk is enough and hanging up is only really hanging up if you have no warning. I texted him this morning and told him “still take his time if he needed it, but that I missed him.” He was still mad today and said he wanted to break up “because hanging up is like spitting in his face”.

He said I was explosive, and that he should be the one angry. He said that our communication is “fragile”.

TL;DR : I feel like I’m being manipulated into feeling like I’m the problem after hanging up on my boyfriend for criticizing me. He broke with me saying I’m practically spit in his face bc I hung up, but I told him I wanted to end the conversation.

Is this minor enough to be worked out, or should I move on?

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