Relationships

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/PigeonForBrains on 2024-01-06 23:14:09+00:00.

My bf and I are in our early 20's and have been together for just over two years. We've talked and made plans about getting married. There's just one issue, he wants kids.

i've never really wanted kids. I tried convincing myself for a while that it was something I i could do and I imagined us having a family together and for a while it seemed like a possibility.

But recently, the thought of it makes me feel uneasy. I struggle with a lot of mental health issues and I know that I mentally won't be able to cope with having a baby. Nor would I be able to properly care for one as a mother.

We've spoken about it, and he said that he understands my choice and respects my decision. He said that he doesn't want kids unless they're with me, and if I i never want them then that's okay.

I appreciate him being so understanding of me but I worry that he's just saying that now, and thinks that maybe I'll change my mind. I don't want him to resent me later on or regret staying with me and not having kids.

Should we stay together despite this difference or would it be best for us to break up and go our separate ways?

TL;DR: My bf says it's okay if I don't want kids, and that we don't have to have them. But I'm worried it may cause him resentment towards me in future.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/ItsAIsopropylLife on 2024-01-06 22:52:40+00:00.

I made a burner account just for this specifically to hide myself as she also has a reddit and I met the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen, but not only did I meet her, but I spent time with her, dated her, fell in love and lost her at the same time. She was perfect in my eyes and for the first time in my 27 years I experienced true happiness. I’d of gone through any version of hell for this woman, with her touch I melted, with her kiss I felt home. I’ve dated before and loved before but not like this, not like her. Some info about me, I’ve been engaged twice, one ended with a drunk driver killed my son, and the other ended with me losing myself and becoming a horrible partner, I’m an orphan due to suicide, and have enough trauma that my friends think I’m both the strongest person they know and some they think is the most likely end it. She knows most of this minus my son’s death. I come I’ve developed a lot of self hate and as a result put 100% of my effort into self growth. I’m rambling but I shared so y’all know that ive known both love and loss, but she’s so different. She was the most loving and caring woman I’ve ever known, she was so sweet and perfect for my ideal future, our goals aligned. I’m not sure why she left but she ghosted me without even a goodbye. It hurts but I still wish for her to come back with a reason for her leaving. I find myself dreaming of her every night since she left, and in the dreams she didn’t leave. I’ve deleted her pictures and all my date planes and everything I could but she still is stuck in my head. I’ve written unsent letters, gone out and done things, she’s always there in my head smiling with her curly hair and blue eyes.

TL;DR she’s perfect and I can’t stop thinking about her long enough to move one.

I know this isn’t healthy, I want to stop and honestly forget her but I don’t think I can. I’ll take any and all advice at this point.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/ThrowRA_969 on 2024-01-06 22:56:23+00:00.

This is a weird one, but it's really bothering me lately. We've been together for 7 years and I'm realizing it's always been like this.

When I'm busy (if he's not busy), he will contact me and kind of insist that I respond quickly. Or he'll suddenly need help with various things. Over the years there have been many instances where he will NEED to speak to me right away, and he's even had meltdowns if I am unable to respond quickly. He's done this when I've been at work, when I was with my mom on a weekend away, when I'm driving. It's definitely a pattern. He even did it after my uncle passed away...I was staying with my family (they are 3 hours away) and he was texting me that he was lonely and depressed which just increased my anxiety. He'll often start strange texting arguments (I've got to learn not to take the bait) and then start bashing me for all kinds of things that have nothing to do with the issue at hand.

However, the pattern has been that when HE is busy and I'm home alone, I barely hear from him. Now, admittedly I don't pester him. I assume he's busy with other things. But for several years he would go out after work for hours and I wouldn't hear from him. Or if he's out doing something he will barely touch base. There was even one time when he knew I was expecting him home and he was missing for several hours (not responding to text or calls), and he told me he got caught up with something and his phone died. But if I pulled that he'd go crazy (I know because once my phone DID die and it took me 20 mins before I realized it and he was furious because I wasn't available to help him with something at that moment).

Over the holidays I was away with family and he texted me creating a big argument over nothing. It was so bad that I even told him that if he dislikes me that much we shouldn't be together. Now I'm back and everything was ok again. Until now....he had to go stay with family for 3 days. I texted him this morning to say hi and that I hoped he has a good time. He didn't answer until 8 hours later and just sent a thumbs-up emoji. It feels weird and cold and I can't even understand what the issue is.

I know the reason he texts me when I'm busy (but it's a bad reason)...it's because he wants my attention and he doesn't like when I'm preoccupied with other things/people or having fun without him. I don't agree with it, but at least I can understand it. But I don't understand why he's cold and distant and barely speaks to me when HE is the one who is away.

Is this a communication problem? I do know he had a problem with this with his previous relationship because he told me of a couple of scenarios (and he agreed he was in the wrong). When I ask him why he doesn't contact me he says it doesn't even cross his mind. Does this mean I'm very low priority to him? If so, why bother pestering me and starting fights when I'm the one who is away? Does anyone have any insight on how to approach this? I want for us to fix it but I don't even know how to start.

tldr: bf starts arguments when I'm away/busy, but when he's away/busy he barely contacts me (and when he does he is distant).

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Ambitious-Froyo-6847 on 2024-01-06 22:29:19+00:00.

Hey need opinions on this - a few months ago I travelled with my best friend (female 27) to a new country.

While there I met a guy (male 29) and we dated and became pretty serious over the 6 months I was there until i unexpectedly had to return home for a bit, I noticed one night when we were texting his snap maps was on and at 6am he went to the area where my best friend now lived. I thought maybe it's just a coincidence and one of his friends might just live in that area too.

I went back to the country recently to visit, went to my best friends house and it was in fact that same address he went to that night! They never told me or mentioned it to me, they barely knew eachother at that stage, he told me it was an 'after party' at hers, he slept in her bed but says nothing happened. She denies it aswell.

However there stories don’t completely match. I’m meant to be going back in few months. What should I do in this situation?

tldr; best friend f27 and boyfriend m29 went behind my back and shared a bed.. what should I do?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Ambitious-Froyo-6847 on 2024-01-06 22:29:19+00:00.

Hey need opinions on this - a few months ago I travelled with my best friend (female 27) to a new country.

While there I met a guy (male 29) and we dated and became pretty serious over the 6 months I was there until i unexpectedly had to return home for a bit, I noticed one night when we were texting his snap maps was on and at 6am he went to the area where my best friend now lived. I thought maybe it's just a coincidence and one of his friends might just live in that area too.

I went back to the country recently to visit, went to my best friends house and it was in fact that same address he went to that night! They never told me or mentioned it to me, they barely knew eachother at that stage, he told me it was an 'after party' at hers, he slept in her bed but says nothing happened. She denies it aswell.

However there stories don’t completely match. I’m meant to be going back in few months. What should I do in this situation?

tldr; best friend f27 and boyfriend m29 went behind my back and shared a bed.. what should I do?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/midnight_sunshine13 on 2024-01-06 21:46:11+00:00.

I (29f) have recently began living without my finance (33m). I think we have a good relationship we’re both respectful and try to be open minded to what the other likes but somehow living with him is starting to get to me. He asks me to do everything! He will say things like oh you don’t have to cook we will just buy something but the next day he will complain that he doesn’t have lunch or he’s hungry and there’s nothing to eat ( he literally only eats full meals no snacks nothing frozen it’s wierd) . I also do all the cleaning apart from mopping the floor and occasionally he will do the laundry and usually takes the kitchen trash out ( only when asked though). We don’t have a huge place just a one bedroom apartment so I really only clean the kitchen and the bathroom and tidy up the living room& bedroom here and there as needed. We both work full time but he’s also going to school full time. When I think about it our workload seems even but when I’m doing it, I feel like I’m always working! He also asks me to do little things like serve his food, and drinks, get this, turn on that, bring him this, etc just all shorts of little things he can do on his own but just won’t! If I’m sitting around relaxing in a Saturday but he has something in his mind my relaxation goes out the window and now I’m doing whatever he’s asked me to do. If Ive finished cleaning all the dishes and cleaned the kitchen for the night but he’s suddenly hungry or snacks again then I have to prepare something and clean up all over again …it’s just things like that and it’s starting to annoy me. Idk if I’m just a spoiled lazy brat who is getting a reality check (I’ve only ever lived with my parents who did the cooking and cleaning for the most part) or if I’m right to feel this way.

TL/DR me 29f and finance 33m live together and i feel like im doing too many little favors for things my finance can do on his own along with my normal chores and I’m not sure if im lazy or justified.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/midnight_sunshine13 on 2024-01-06 21:46:11+00:00.

I (29f) have recently began living without my finance (33m). I think we have a good relationship we’re both respectful and try to be open minded to what the other likes but somehow living with him is starting to get to me. He asks me to do everything! He will say things like oh you don’t have to cook we will just buy something but the next day he will complain that he doesn’t have lunch or he’s hungry and there’s nothing to eat ( he literally only eats full meals no snacks nothing frozen it’s wierd) . I also do all the cleaning apart from mopping the floor and occasionally he will do the laundry and usually takes the kitchen trash out ( only when asked though). We don’t have a huge place just a one bedroom apartment so I really only clean the kitchen and the bathroom and tidy up the living room& bedroom here and there as needed. We both work full time but he’s also going to school full time. When I think about it our workload seems even but when I’m doing it, I feel like I’m always working! He also asks me to do little things like serve his food, and drinks, get this, turn on that, bring him this, etc just all shorts of little things he can do on his own but just won’t! If I’m sitting around relaxing in a Saturday but he has something in his mind my relaxation goes out the window and now I’m doing whatever he’s asked me to do. If Ive finished cleaning all the dishes and cleaned the kitchen for the night but he’s suddenly hungry or snacks again then I have to prepare something and clean up all over again …it’s just things like that and it’s starting to annoy me. Idk if I’m just a spoiled lazy brat who is getting a reality check (I’ve only ever lived with my parents who did the cooking and cleaning for the most part) or if I’m right to feel this way.

TL/DR me 29f and finance 33m live together and i feel like im doing too many little favors for things my finance can do on his own along with my normal chores and I’m not sure if im lazy or justified.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Icy_Pomegranate9816 on 2024-01-06 21:11:21+00:00.

My BF (21M) insinuates i should change my (21F) body?

I don’t know if this is an overreaction on my behalf. For reference I am a 21 year old woman i am 166cm tall and around 60-62kg. I am not stick thin but i am not fat or overly muscular either.

One day when with my boyfriend he told me he likes women with abs . The comment came out of nowhere as we weren’t talking about this topic but I just brushed it off. A while later he asks several times what my “ideal body” would be. Again we weren’t really talking about this , so i vaguely answered ‘more toned’. He looks me up and down and feels my body and tells me “you should lose body fat then”. I was quite hurt by this as i didn’t ask him for any advice or start this topic of conversation. He gives me and estimate of what he thinks my fat% is. At this point i ask him if he thinks i’m fat and he says “he could help me and write me a workout plan.”

i expressed my hurt and we argued slightly he then apologised and said he was only trying to help. A few hours pass and i forget all about it . However again he brings up the topic and asks what my ideal body type would be , i said toned again. He then goes onto instagram and shows me some photos of fitness models asking if i want to look like this girl or this girl. Both girls were very similar - good muscles and abs.

I started to get even more upset as i didn’t see why he kept persisting with this topic . We argued and he got so mad he punched a wardrobe . He insisted he was trying to help me( i never asked for this).

I’m just confused as i am healthy and workout regularly , i know i am attractive so why has he done this ?

Tl;DR! Boyfriend keeps bringing up weight loss but i’m not fat

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Icy_Pomegranate9816 on 2024-01-06 21:11:21+00:00.

My BF (21M) insinuates i should change my (21F) body?

I don’t know if this is an overreaction on my behalf. For reference I am a 21 year old woman i am 166cm tall and around 60-62kg. I am not stick thin but i am not fat or overly muscular either.

One day when with my boyfriend he told me he likes women with abs . The comment came out of nowhere as we weren’t talking about this topic but I just brushed it off. A while later he asks several times what my “ideal body” would be. Again we weren’t really talking about this , so i vaguely answered ‘more toned’. He looks me up and down and feels my body and tells me “you should lose body fat then”. I was quite hurt by this as i didn’t ask him for any advice or start this topic of conversation. He gives me and estimate of what he thinks my fat% is. At this point i ask him if he thinks i’m fat and he says “he could help me and write me a workout plan.”

i expressed my hurt and we argued slightly he then apologised and said he was only trying to help. A few hours pass and i forget all about it . However again he brings up the topic and asks what my ideal body type would be , i said toned again. He then goes onto instagram and shows me some photos of fitness models asking if i want to look like this girl or this girl. Both girls were very similar - good muscles and abs.

I started to get even more upset as i didn’t see why he kept persisting with this topic . We argued and he got so mad he punched a wardrobe . He insisted he was trying to help me( i never asked for this).

I’m just confused as i am healthy and workout regularly , i know i am attractive so why has he done this ?

Tl;DR! Boyfriend keeps bringing up weight loss but i’m not fat

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Original-Body6073 on 2024-01-06 19:46:38+00:00.

TL;DR: Boyfriend is often insensitive and uncaring, feel he is not really invested in our relationship.

My boyfriend of a year and I are long distance. We see each other on the weekend, basically Saturday evening and night and Sunday a little bit. We go all week and not see one another. Most of the time, I drive two hours to his place. I am a teacher and I will often stay Sunday night and wake up at 5 AM Monday to get ready and get to work on time so we have a little extra time together.

This past week, my daughter had a major surgery. Also, work started back. She has been in a lot of pain and I have had very little sleep. The weather had predicted there may be some snow Saturday. I mentioned it to him so we could figure out our plans for the weekend. He told me we would just likely be spending the weekend apart, although he mentioned last week if I needed to stay here with her, he would come in. I told him my daughter may be going to her dad's house and I had four wheel drive, I could drive there because the weather was barely giving anything anyway. He insisted no.

Yesterday, I was feeling pretty rough. We were on the phone for a minute and I mentioned I was feeling a little stressed out with everything going on and didn't feel well. He seemed irritated and said, "Is that why you're so down in the dumps? Because we won't see each other this weekend?" I told him of course that's not the only reason, it was a lot of things I'd already mentioned, but I definitely felt sad about that, didn't he? He got very upset and started telling me, "It's not that big of a deal, (insert my name)! Jesus, I was just there for like 10 days (he's talking about over Christmas, he was here 4 days). It's really not that big of a deal if we go one weekend without seeing each other. What if I have to go play a show and we have to go three weekends without seeing each other, are you just going to freak out?" I felt small and invalidated. I stayed calm and told him I felt he was being a little insensitive, I'd just had a hard week and of course, not getting that day together made me a little sad, but I didn't freak out or think it was a huge deal. He got mad and abruptly got off the phone before I could say bye.

7 hours later, he calls me back and I'm already in the bed for work. He tells me that I was manipulative and was baiting him into a conversation when I responded back to him and asked him, "of course that's not the only reason, it was a lot of things I'd already mentioned, but I definitely felt sad about that, didn't he?" I tried to explain I was in no way baiting him, I wasn't sure what that meant or what I was gaining from that, I was just asking to gain information about how he felt because he seemed so irritated with me. I listened to him, tried to empathize, although I still felt hurt because there have been many occasions where something will come up and when I express a feeling, they're invalidated fully. He went on to tell me thoughts went through his head like, "Do I have to comfort her any time something happens?" and that he was thinking about his band, music, etc. and didn't want to waste time on this.

We spoke again about the matter later, I told him I loved him very much and I felt anxious about talking with him about this, but I felt like many of my feelings regarding different topics get quickly invalidated by him. He ignored what I said and went back to the baiting thing. He then told me, "the real answer to your question is no, I'm not sad. I feel fine. Time apart is important." I told him thank you for being honest and letting me know, even though inside it broke my heart a little. And nothing I expressed got discussed at all, he disregarded it.

I feel hurt over this stuff. I tried to tell him sometimes I feel stupid and little when he does these things. Am I asking too much? I'm not sure where to go from here. Is it weird that he doesn't desire to see me once a week? We have been together an entire year and the truth is, we go every week, all week long, without seeing one another at all. And we don't talk a ton, just when he calls which is usually once a day.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Original-Body6073 on 2024-01-06 19:46:38+00:00.

TL;DR: Boyfriend is often insensitive and uncaring, feel he is not really invested in our relationship.

My boyfriend of a year and I are long distance. We see each other on the weekend, basically Saturday evening and night and Sunday a little bit. We go all week and not see one another. Most of the time, I drive two hours to his place. I am a teacher and I will often stay Sunday night and wake up at 5 AM Monday to get ready and get to work on time so we have a little extra time together.

This past week, my daughter had a major surgery. Also, work started back. She has been in a lot of pain and I have had very little sleep. The weather had predicted there may be some snow Saturday. I mentioned it to him so we could figure out our plans for the weekend. He told me we would just likely be spending the weekend apart, although he mentioned last week if I needed to stay here with her, he would come in. I told him my daughter may be going to her dad's house and I had four wheel drive, I could drive there because the weather was barely giving anything anyway. He insisted no.

Yesterday, I was feeling pretty rough. We were on the phone for a minute and I mentioned I was feeling a little stressed out with everything going on and didn't feel well. He seemed irritated and said, "Is that why you're so down in the dumps? Because we won't see each other this weekend?" I told him of course that's not the only reason, it was a lot of things I'd already mentioned, but I definitely felt sad about that, didn't he? He got very upset and started telling me, "It's not that big of a deal, (insert my name)! Jesus, I was just there for like 10 days (he's talking about over Christmas, he was here 4 days). It's really not that big of a deal if we go one weekend without seeing each other. What if I have to go play a show and we have to go three weekends without seeing each other, are you just going to freak out?" I felt small and invalidated. I stayed calm and told him I felt he was being a little insensitive, I'd just had a hard week and of course, not getting that day together made me a little sad, but I didn't freak out or think it was a huge deal. He got mad and abruptly got off the phone before I could say bye.

7 hours later, he calls me back and I'm already in the bed for work. He tells me that I was manipulative and was baiting him into a conversation when I responded back to him and asked him, "of course that's not the only reason, it was a lot of things I'd already mentioned, but I definitely felt sad about that, didn't he?" I tried to explain I was in no way baiting him, I wasn't sure what that meant or what I was gaining from that, I was just asking to gain information about how he felt because he seemed so irritated with me. I listened to him, tried to empathize, although I still felt hurt because there have been many occasions where something will come up and when I express a feeling, they're invalidated fully. He went on to tell me thoughts went through his head like, "Do I have to comfort her any time something happens?" and that he was thinking about his band, music, etc. and didn't want to waste time on this.

We spoke again about the matter later, I told him I loved him very much and I felt anxious about talking with him about this, but I felt like many of my feelings regarding different topics get quickly invalidated by him. He ignored what I said and went back to the baiting thing. He then told me, "the real answer to your question is no, I'm not sad. I feel fine. Time apart is important." I told him thank you for being honest and letting me know, even though inside it broke my heart a little. And nothing I expressed got discussed at all, he disregarded it.

I feel hurt over this stuff. I tried to tell him sometimes I feel stupid and little when he does these things. Am I asking too much? I'm not sure where to go from here. Is it weird that he doesn't desire to see me once a week? We have been together an entire year and the truth is, we go every week, all week long, without seeing one another at all. And we don't talk a ton, just when he calls which is usually once a day.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Tomatilla94 on 2024-01-06 19:30:38+00:00.

I'm someone who is susceptible to getting yeast infections and has to use unscented soap and detergent. I have especially in the past been susceptible to them following sex with male partners. My current boyfriend uses a very strong and heavily scented body wash. I asked him if he could maybe wash just his penis with my unscented bar soap as to help avoid upsetting my Ph balance or contributing to possibly giving me a yeast infection via sex, and he said yes he would. We talked about it again today, and I just found out he has only sometimes been doing it because it's inconvenient to him. He also stated that he doesn't actually believe that's a real thing (that it can upset a woman's ph or cause infection), because he's never heard about it anywhere before, and that's also why he doesn't care about it as much. What should I do in this case? I basically told him I don't really care to have sex with him unless he takes my health seriously. For added information, I'm the first girl he's ever been in a relationship with or has been physical with as of a couple of months ago. He grew up not really socializing with women outside of family.

Tl;dr: I asked my boyfriend to use unscented soap on his genitalia to help prevent me from getting infections, and he's treating it as a huge unnecessary inconvenience to him.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Tomatilla94 on 2024-01-06 19:30:38+00:00.

I'm someone who is susceptible to getting yeast infections and has to use unscented soap and detergent. I have especially in the past been susceptible to them following sex with male partners. My current boyfriend uses a very strong and heavily scented body wash. I asked him if he could maybe wash just his penis with my unscented bar soap as to help avoid upsetting my Ph balance or contributing to possibly giving me a yeast infection via sex, and he said yes he would. We talked about it again today, and I just found out he has only sometimes been doing it because it's inconvenient to him. He also stated that he doesn't actually believe that's a real thing (that it can upset a woman's ph or cause infection), because he's never heard about it anywhere before, and that's also why he doesn't care about it as much. What should I do in this case? I basically told him I don't really care to have sex with him unless he takes my health seriously. For added information, I'm the first girl he's ever been in a relationship with or has been physical with as of a couple of months ago. He grew up not really socializing with women outside of family.

Tl;dr: I asked my boyfriend to use unscented soap on his genitalia to help prevent me from getting infections, and he's treating it as a huge unnecessary inconvenience to him.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/chrismsx on 2024-01-06 19:05:13+00:00.

So I'm [m/39] dating an older woman [f/42] and we have been on about 6 dates. She's a flight attendent so she's gone constantly, so we need to maximize time. We recently got into our first fight because of plans we were trying to make during one of her few days off. It happened over text. She has agreed that I can share our exchange, becuase we are in total disagreement of if plans were solidified or not.

To me, when I said "that souds perfect I'll drive up at that time" meant we officially had a time and date.

She's angry because I showed up to the place but had not told her when I was leaving my house. So she had to scramble to meet me and came 30 minutes late.

My argument is, I didn't have to let her know because we clearly had made plans with time, date and place. When I said I was thinking about things, that was only about if I was driving or taking an uber.

She says she 100% cannot see things my way.

TL;DR: Girl I'm dating got mad at me because I didn't tell her when I was leaving my house before a date because I thought we had agreed on time and place. Apparently it doesn't count if you don't text before you leave.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/chrismsx on 2024-01-06 19:05:13+00:00.

So I'm [m/39] dating an older woman [f/42] and we have been on about 6 dates. She's a flight attendent so she's gone constantly, so we need to maximize time. We recently got into our first fight because of plans we were trying to make during one of her few days off. It happened over text. She has agreed that I can share our exchange, becuase we are in total disagreement of if plans were solidified or not.

To me, when I said "that souds perfect I'll drive up at that time" meant we officially had a time and date.

She's angry because I showed up to the place but had not told her when I was leaving my house. So she had to scramble to meet me and came 30 minutes late.

My argument is, I didn't have to let her know because we clearly had made plans with time, date and place. When I said I was thinking about things, that was only about if I was driving or taking an uber.

She says she 100% cannot see things my way.

TL;DR: Girl I'm dating got mad at me because I didn't tell her when I was leaving my house before a date because I thought we had agreed on time and place. Apparently it doesn't count if you don't text before you leave.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Enough-Question-7111 on 2024-01-06 18:13:50+00:00.

He asked me to move into the guest room and during the process I was messaging work because I was going to be late or not in at all since I was actively being broken up with over a heated argument. He told me of course I would call out and got even more mad at me so I ordered a ride and got my stuff together and moved the few things of mine in the living room to the guest room. He apologized and hugged me while I waited for my ride to work and said he still wanted to work on things but I’ve felt just empty ever since. He says he’s tired of being in charge of my complaints (about the relationship) and I’m just trying to find ways to not feel like I’m pretending while sitting around on eggshells all week. It’s been a shitty week. Idk what to do. I’m so upset because I love him so much but it seems like no matter how many ways I express to him what my needs and desires are they will always just be a chore or an inconvenience to him. I don’t really feel like the details matter so much but I’m insecure in the relationship and he’s financially insecure and we just can’t seem to see eye to eye on anything. I do things to engage with him and his hobbies like video games daily but he can’t be bothered to even go on dates or help me come up with something fun to do together that makes me feel fulfilled, and now with the tension if I suggest anything or ask for something to try he’s just taking it as more complaints or ridicule.

I’m exhausted and I kind of feel like I should have moved into the guest room. (I know if I do now he’ll just tell me I’m being dramatic or trying to get a reaction out of him so I haven’t) I don’t want us to break up but I’m also kind of done trying anymore I’m too tired and sad about it all and every argument now feels like a potential breakup so I’m afraid to even talk to him. Please help

TLDR: bad argument between my bf of 2 years and I has put me in a place where I feel like any disagreement can lead to a breakup and I feel numb

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Sonikowa on 2024-01-05 20:52:53+00:00.

I meet this boy on tinder. I am on second year at the university and he is still in high school. We have so much in common. We have the same perspective on life, we have the same opinion on all the important things. We get along really well but that’s it. I like him, he looks quite good, I think he is almost perfect but I don’t feel it will last. We don’t talk everyday, we talk like twice a week and only on the evening. We meet four times, and I don’t feel any connection between us. He tells me that he likes me, that I’m pretty and other things, but that’s it. He never gave me flowers or never suggested he would pay for me. I’m not saying I’m demanding it but it would be nice if he done that. What I mean by that is he treats me like his friend, not a girl he is interested in. He do not make it known that he is certain about me.

He gives me less attention than my bestfriend. It drains me. He told me that he don’t like to talk all the time, but I like to talk all the time and tell people everything about me. I like to talk with people through the day and be in contact all the time. I tried doing it with him, but he himself never messaged me through the day, only on the evening. When he told me that he don’t like to talk that much I just matched his energy and stopped being so open about myself towards him. Now he went silent. We last talked online 6 days ago. I feel like it is not what I want from someone who will be my boyfriend. I feel like that relationship has no future and we have different needs. We talked about it last time we meet, but he was like „I like you, so everything is fine”. I wasn’t prepared to talk about it then, so I didn’t tell much about things that bother me. Another thing is that he is from different city. It is a problem for me, because I want to spend more time with my partner, not just see him once a month.

Another thing is that all the dates were planned by me, even when he invited me to his town, he didn’t plan anything and was like „what do you want to do?” It’s nice that he asks, but he never showed initiative in planning anything. I know he is a good guy, his personality is what I want in my future boyfriend, but I just don’t feel that connection. I’m also scared about that I won’t find another person that I have so much in common with. I don’t want to be in a relationship only because it is rational to do so.

What should I do? Should I just tell him what is my problem? Or should I just leave it and move on. Year ago my previous relationship ended and it drained me so much that I don’t have strength to go through the same shit of trying to make other people understand me when someone don’t care that much. All that thinking about my relationships is tiring and I just don’t have so much strength to go again through the trying even though I don’t have energy and time for this.

—- TL;DR; : I meet him on Tinder and we have much in common, we get along really well but his behavior is not quite what I want in my future boyfriend and I don’t feel any sort of deep connection between us. He is silent for 6 days now. Should I just tell him what my problem is or move on and don’t care about it no more?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Upstairs_Special_867 on 2024-01-06 15:10:28+00:00.

I honestly have no idea how to start a conversation or even interact with women and I think it's becoming a problem. I had one experience today where I was walking around the city today and I saw this girl who looked to be around my age and I really wanted to talk to them. I ended up just not doing it because it's honestly something I don't know how, and really just can't do. Then there was this other time today where I met eyes with them and my heart literally started palpitating. And it's not just anxiety, it's mostly because I feel like approaching a woman might make them uncomfortable or I could just end up looking like a creep. (Especially because I look older then I actually am.) Can someone please tell me how to approach women and talk to them without coming off as weird or creepy, and also just generally being able to hold the conversation with them.

TL;DR I NEED ADVICE ON HOW TO APPROACH AND TALK TO WOMEN WITHOUT COMMING OFF A CREEPY. AND JUST TALKING TO THEM IN GENERAL.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Internal_Wallaby_616 on 2024-01-06 14:49:41+00:00.

We moved in a new country last year and his colleagues became soon our new friends, but they’re really rude and only talk about work. I’ve tried countless times to tell him about the importance of having friends outside from work, but with the exception of a couple of people he has made no effort in trying to hang out with new people. I have met some people in meet ups and expat events but it’s been really hard. In the past year I’ve been fighting against depression as I’ve lost my job and one of my closest friends has died, so it’s not been easy for me to be around people as much as before. I’ve tried befriending his colleagues but they have ended up hurting me and excluding me in very obvious ways, to the point my MIL had to tell my BF these people are toxic for us. He keeps on saying how he wants to meet new people but here we are one week after hanging out with his colleagues and regretting it, doing it all over again for his birthday. How can I make him see that sometimes it’s better to be surrounded by less people who actually care rather than a bunch of toxic fake friends?

Tldr: My BF promised me we’d try and find some new people to hang out with after some bad experiences with his colleagues, but he keeps on inviting them even though they’ve been very rude to me.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/adibasgareeb on 2024-01-06 14:44:16+00:00.

All the girls I've been with were either cheating on their bf or strictly wanted to be fuck buddies with me to which I of course agreed because what option did I have ?

Now i can agree that i am a little poorer in comparison with my friend circle and colleagues but i look decent nice height and build and nothing extra ordinarily weird about me, but women just don't seem to be in a commitment with me, i had fallen for at least 2-3 of them very badly but they were using me to get their bfs attention or simply for sex.

Now i have no idea how this could change help me here y'all what could i do differently ? I am a nice soft-spoken person respect women and all that but they look towards me as a sexual object.

Tl;DR Women just don't wanna get in relationship with me, i am tired i need love

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Simple_Bag9301 on 2024-01-06 14:36:15+00:00.

Told my husband he can’t “have it all”

Husband and I have 2 kids - 4y and 18 month. Our days are busy with the kids, we both work from home, sports for my 4 year old, etc. my husband cooks dinner pretty often and spends a lot of time with the kids. But otherwise, most household chores fall to me. Laundry, dishes, baths, general cleaning, bills, etc. We pay for lawn maintenance because he hated doing it and I hated arguing with him to do it. I am in charge of getting the 4yo to school, so I’m up at 6:30 getting her out the door. I also do pickup most days while he stays with the toddler. On the weekends at least one kid always wakes up between 7-8 and I get up, letting him sleep in until 10.

We spend a lot of time together. After the kids go to bed at night we have shows that we watch together, we’re together during the day, etc. he has a couple of independent hobbies and so do I.

The problem lies in intimacy. He is constantly reminding me how long it’s been since I “gave him any attention.” Tonight he said “when was new years? Sunday? That’s the last day you gave me any attention.” It makes me really angry.

So last night when he said that I said “well, we’ve been working all week, things have been crazy, you can’t have it all.”

I’ve talked before about how having all of these responsibilities in the house and with the kids and work makes it really hard for me to relax or switch my brain to intimacy. He’s aware of how I feel but will empty the dishwasher for a few days and go back to not doing it. In my mind our lives won’t always be like this. The kids will get older and more independent and we’ll both have more free time. I also just planned a weekend trip for him and I to celebrate our anniversary.

Tl;dr- husband complained that I haven’t given him any attention since Sunday night and I told him he can’t have it all, because I handle most household and childcare tasks.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Mirandoll on 2024-01-06 14:29:36+00:00.

Hiya, the other night some of my friends and I were out drinking. As we were all heading off, one of my friends was quite intoxicated and it was at this point she also started getting in her feels a bit. She stumbled as we were going home, I went to help her, and she pulled away from me and said something like “no you don’t get to touch me, don’t touch me”. I pulled away and pretty much shut down, only interacting with my other friends. I told her the next day that this had upset me as she’s always been very physically affectionate with me, so it was very unexpected as I also knew I had done nothing wrong. She apologised profusely when I brought it up and reassured me she didn’t mean it and that I’d done nothing wrong, but I still feel hurt and withdrawn.

I have an assault & abuse history, and someone telling me to not touch them makes me feel like I’ve violated someone or repulsed someone, which really freaks me out because of my history. I don’t think I’m going to be able to easily get out of this funk and will probably be distant with her for a while - what can I/should I do to try and either fix this or explain this to her?

Thank you ❤️

TL;DR: My friend told me not to touch her when she stumbled whilst drunk on a night out, she apologised the next day but I am still upset and worried this will affect our relationship.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/-FalseLight- on 2024-01-06 14:26:31+00:00.

My boyfriend sleeps over a lot. He doesn’t brush his teeth before bed yet still gives me kisses, and I smell his breath all night. He gets sulfur breath and I’m not sure if it’s because of his diabetes or because of his neglect towards his oral hygiene. Despite the teeth his very clean when it comes to his body and doesn’t smell.

He also farts while he sleeps. I have a fuzzy blanket to stay warm for winter because it gets freezing and the fart gets trapped under there, and I smell it. And he also farts ON me regularly because we cuddle.

I told him ‘you fart a lot, you have a gastrointestinal issue’ but he said ‘ Don’t tell me that, I’ll never go to sleep’ in regards to the farts’ and in response to the stomach issue he said ‘I don’t have one’ He clearly does! As the cherry on top he wore a mildew shirt to bed and I had a miserable night.

I’ve talked to him about the mildew shirts before and he said it was clean.

How do I tell him to brush his teeth before bed and take a Pepcid?

TL;DR sleeping habits like not brushing his teeth, wearing mildew shirts and farting all night are grossing me out how do we talk?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/akunbuanganku on 2024-01-06 14:18:21+00:00.

Me (23M) and my gf (24F) have been dating for almost a year and everything has been alright, we're dating for long term relationship and we're aiming for marriage, she has met my family and I've met hers (in my culture that's considered as a sign that you're serious with your partner), we might have some fights but usually we can just get over it and back on loving each other again.

Yesterday we had a fight about some tiny personal problems and it gets really bad because the way we handled it, she just don't listen to anything that I said and keeps on bringing the same thing over and over again, she started having tantrums and said a lot of sarcastic things (which is so far beyond her usual character). I'm trying my best to stay as cool as possible and not fighting her sarcasms back, and I started to notice that the way we argue is just not productive.

I said to her, "this is getting out of hands, and I know that you're tired that's probably why you're acting weird, so maybe it's best if we just put this aside and take some time to reflect on ourselves"

She said, "I'm not acting weird, I've been acting normal this whole time, also I don't need to reflect on myself"

I still don't understand why she acts that way, she've been calling me names and laughing during the argument, and she doesn't even realize the way she acted, and I started questioning my own perspection of her, but I don't want to bring this argument longer, so I decided to take a break. "We can talk again later, I love you, bye"

She didn't say anything and the next thing I know is she blocked me. I honestly don't know what to do and if this is a sign or anything. I'm honestly thinking of breaking up if this doesn't get any better. If she unblocks me what should I do? And how long should I wait? I need some guidance. Thank you.

TL;DR: Gf has been acting weird and unhinged during an argument, I proposed some time for us to reflect and now she blocked me, idk what to do.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Simple_Bag9301 on 2024-01-06 14:36:15+00:00.

Told my husband he can’t “have it all”

Husband and I have 2 kids - 4y and 18 month. Our days are busy with the kids, we both work from home, sports for my 4 year old, etc. my husband cooks dinner pretty often and spends a lot of time with the kids. But otherwise, most household chores fall to me. Laundry, dishes, baths, general cleaning, bills, etc. We pay for lawn maintenance because he hated doing it and I hated arguing with him to do it. I am in charge of getting the 4yo to school, so I’m up at 6:30 getting her out the door. I also do pickup most days while he stays with the toddler. On the weekends at least one kid always wakes up between 7-8 and I get up, letting him sleep in until 10.

We spend a lot of time together. After the kids go to bed at night we have shows that we watch together, we’re together during the day, etc. he has a couple of independent hobbies and so do I.

The problem lies in intimacy. He is constantly reminding me how long it’s been since I “gave him any attention.” Tonight he said “when was new years? Sunday? That’s the last day you gave me any attention.” It makes me really angry.

So last night when he said that I said “well, we’ve been working all week, things have been crazy, you can’t have it all.”

I’ve talked before about how having all of these responsibilities in the house and with the kids and work makes it really hard for me to relax or switch my brain to intimacy. He’s aware of how I feel but will empty the dishwasher for a few days and go back to not doing it. In my mind our lives won’t always be like this. The kids will get older and more independent and we’ll both have more free time. I also just planned a weekend trip for him and I to celebrate our anniversary.

Tl;dr- husband complained that I haven’t given him any attention since Sunday night and I told him he can’t have it all, because I handle most household and childcare tasks.