Relationships

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1126
 
 
This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/MaximumSolution6979 on 2024-01-06 14:04:44+00:00.


My (23f) boyfriend (24m)and I have been together for a little over a year. He lives with his parents and I made a “requirement” that he moves out before we live together. Let me start out by saying I love his parents and this is no way a part of the issue. He and his dad own a business together based out of their house as primary income and he also has a business on the side so I understand moving out would be financially stressful and inconvenient as he is running 2 businesses but I think it would be a positive start to our future. His mom is basically super mom, she does all the cooking, all the cleaning, really takes care of the both of them. I want him to live without his parents for a year maybe less before we live together. He doesn’t have to live alone and he doesn’t have to go buy a house or anything. I strongly believe that when you start living with your partner (which neither of us have done before) your life should get easier because there’s 2 people taking on the load of everything needing done. If he went from living at home to living with me his life would get significantly harder unless I stepped up to do everything his mom does which isn’t realistic considering the long hours I work versus she’s always home. If he moves out I believe it’ll be a good foundation for moving in together because it will actually feel like a load off his chest so there shouldn’t be built up resentment.

This “requirement” of mine became common knowledge among his friends and they seem to have conflicting opinions but a few points were made that make me question if I’m being too harsh. First, he is an incredibly helpful person. His friends and extended family call him all the time for help and he’ll drop what he’s doing to go help them. For example we were at his married friends house and the wife was complaining about the garbage disposal and my bf literally replaced the garbage disposal that day. Lots of stories like that with all his friends. Next, when he comes over to my house he is very helpful with everything. If the kitchen or my room or the dining room or something needs cleaned and he can tell I’ve been too busy to do it, he’ll clean it for me. He’ll help when I’m cooking and even help with the random projects I find myself getting into around the house. Every time this conversation comes up though between me and my bf about him moving out before we move in together, he gets upset. He says he’ll do it and he’ll figure it out because he loves me but that this puts a lot of financial strain on him because he doesn’t want to rent and if he’s going to buy, he would rather buy a shop for his businesses which I do understand.

While I know how lucky I am and how amazing he is, I also know that all those extras things he had to do won’t go away when he’s living with me. He will still get calls to go help friends and have to fix things and run his businesses and I’m worried it will be too drastic of a change and he’ll start to resent me over time for not doing more even if I’m doing all I can because unless I stopped working I could not do everything his mom does. But I’m also worried this “requirement” will make him build up resentment towards me too. So now I’m coming to strangers on the internet for advice, hoping some of you have been through similar situations with various outcomes or just have enough life advice. Am I being too harsh? Is it necessary for him to move out first? Is there something else we could do that’s less financial strain and less overall stressful?

TLDR I want my bf to move out of his parents before we live together but this is super stressful on him and he doesn’t want to.

1127
 
 
This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/akunbuanganku on 2024-01-06 14:18:21+00:00.


Me (23M) and my gf (24F) have been dating for almost a year and everything has been alright, we're dating for long term relationship and we're aiming for marriage, she has met my family and I've met hers (in my culture that's considered as a sign that you're serious with your partner), we might have some fights but usually we can just get over it and back on loving each other again.

Yesterday we had a fight about some tiny personal problems and it gets really bad because the way we handled it, she just don't listen to anything that I said and keeps on bringing the same thing over and over again, she started having tantrums and said a lot of sarcastic things (which is so far beyond her usual character). I'm trying my best to stay as cool as possible and not fighting her sarcasms back, and I started to notice that the way we argue is just not productive.

I said to her, "this is getting out of hands, and I know that you're tired that's probably why you're acting weird, so maybe it's best if we just put this aside and take some time to reflect on ourselves"

She said, "I'm not acting weird, I've been acting normal this whole time, also I don't need to reflect on myself"

I still don't understand why she acts that way, she've been calling me names and laughing during the argument, and she doesn't even realize the way she acted, and I started questioning my own perspection of her, but I don't want to bring this argument longer, so I decided to take a break. "We can talk again later, I love you, bye"

She didn't say anything and the next thing I know is she blocked me. I honestly don't know what to do and if this is a sign or anything. I'm honestly thinking of breaking up if this doesn't get any better. If she unblocks me what should I do? And how long should I wait? I need some guidance. Thank you.

TL;DR: Gf has been acting weird and unhinged during an argument, I proposed some time for us to reflect and now she blocked me, idk what to do.

1128
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/LeezGouise on 2024-01-06 11:54:06+00:00.


Me (F26) and my boyfriend (M25) have been in a relationship for 3 years now. I wanted to see my favorite movie which is pretty hard to find so I searched for it online. I found a message from someone on Reddit asking for it because he wanted to find it for his girlfriend. I recognized the username and I looked at the page to confirm my idea of it being my boyfriend. And then I found a message he send into a Snapchatpage. It said "laying in bed hard as hell next to my girlfriend, convince me to masturbate to you instead of having sexz with her".

I have had a lot of trust issues in the past and I was so absolutely convinced that I could trust him with everything. I'm not sure if I can move on with him. On the one hand it seems like a little fuckup, but on the other hand this kind of thought of him is completely new to me. I'm a very open person with him and I made clear to him that if he ever has feelings for someone else or urges, he could talk to me about it and it wouldn't be a deal breaker. I did told him that not being honest with me would. I have been asking him frequently if everything is okay, if he misses something. He always says he's fine. He fucked up a few times before, but we got over it together. Now It feels like I don't know who he really is.

It feels like I should end it with him. He keeps telling me he will do better, but nothing ever changes. But we've been through so much together.

TLDR: Found my boyfriend's reddit, doubting to go on with him.

1129
 
 
This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/LeezGouise on 2024-01-06 11:54:06+00:00.


Me (F26) and my boyfriend (M25) have been in a relationship for 3 years now. I wanted to see my favorite movie which is pretty hard to find so I searched for it online. I found a message from someone on Reddit asking for it because he wanted to find it for his girlfriend. I recognized the username and I looked at the page to confirm my idea of it being my boyfriend. And then I found a message he send into a Snapchatpage. It said "laying in bed hard as hell next to my girlfriend, convince me to masturbate to you instead of having sexz with her".

I have had a lot of trust issues in the past and I was so absolutely convinced that I could trust him with everything. I'm not sure if I can move on with him. On the one hand it seems like a little fuckup, but on the other hand this kind of thought of him is completely new to me. I'm a very open person with him and I made clear to him that if he ever has feelings for someone else or urges, he could talk to me about it and it wouldn't be a deal breaker. I did told him that not being honest with me would. I have been asking him frequently if everything is okay, if he misses something. He always says he's fine. He fucked up a few times before, but we got over it together. Now It feels like I don't know who he really is.

It feels like I should end it with him. He keeps telling me he will do better, but nothing ever changes. But we've been through so much together.

TLDR: Found my boyfriend's reddit, doubting to go on with him.

1130
 
 
This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Blueallthefuckntime on 2024-01-06 12:38:52+00:00.


I (24f) I've been in a relationship with a guy (24m) for 4.5 years now. It feels like all I know, for its been a big part of my life. I do love him but don't feel like I am IN love with him in the same way I used to be, if that makes sense.

A lot has changed. We don't go out anymore we just seem to lay in his house. I've made countless suggestions about doing things even things that don't cost any money like go for a walk somewhere nice and none of my suggestions seem to be entertained.

I feel like the stage we are in is best described as comfortable. We get on so well (aside from not having a great emotional connection) and never have any major disagreements anymore, but the spark has died. I've tried so much in the past year to fix it that I've kind of given up hope.

There is a guy (27m) in work that ive had the ocasional friendly chat with over the past 2 years. Recently he opened up to me and we had deep meaningful conversation. Something that I've never had with my boyfriend as everything is always very surface level.

I was out on a work do and this guy from work opened up as to how he has admired me for a while. We kissed. We've met up since and kissed more and had more deep meaningfull chats.

Its been a few weeks and came to the conclusion that the guilt was killing me and that i needed to leave my relationship as i also want to see if there is potentialwith this guy. So I went to break up with him last night telling him everything that happened and how I seem to get on with the guy from work more naturally and have told him the truth that I kissed him and that I thought there could be a connection.

He told me he still wanted to be with me and he realises now he's been absent emotionally, he forgives me for cheating for he understands that us not being great is why those thoughts were in my head, he blames himself for not listening to all the things I told him I needed from the relationship over the past year. He says he is going to be better because he loves me.

We agreed to leave things on a break for now as we couldn't come to an agreement with what was best for us at the moment. I feel like everything he said slightly swayed me to seeing things improving as the foundations are there, but I still want to get to know this other guy. I've never been so conflicted.

Is he just telling me everything I want to hear? Is it too little too late? Do I work on building the emotional connection in my relationship now that he is willing or explore the one that comes naturally with the other guy? A big part of me still wants to get to know this other guy as I feel like I've given my boyfriend long enough to be the person I need him to be, and i know you cant change anyone. Will things actually get better or will I end up wasting more time on a relationship that's dead?

Any advice or comments would be appreciated, thanks.

TL;DR! - My relationship has lost its spark and I've tried everything I can the past year to regain it but its gone. I found a connection with another guy. I tried to break up and told my boyfriend about the other guy but he is now wanting to put the effort in to fix things. Should I stay or should I go?

1131
 
 
This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Blueallthefuckntime on 2024-01-06 12:38:52+00:00.


I (24f) I've been in a relationship with a guy (24m) for 4.5 years now. It feels like all I know, for its been a big part of my life. I do love him but don't feel like I am IN love with him in the same way I used to be, if that makes sense.

A lot has changed. We don't go out anymore we just seem to lay in his house. I've made countless suggestions about doing things even things that don't cost any money like go for a walk somewhere nice and none of my suggestions seem to be entertained.

I feel like the stage we are in is best described as comfortable. We get on so well (aside from not having a great emotional connection) and never have any major disagreements anymore, but the spark has died. I've tried so much in the past year to fix it that I've kind of given up hope.

There is a guy (27m) in work that ive had the ocasional friendly chat with over the past 2 years. Recently he opened up to me and we had deep meaningful conversation. Something that I've never had with my boyfriend as everything is always very surface level.

I was out on a work do and this guy from work opened up as to how he has admired me for a while. We kissed. We've met up since and kissed more and had more deep meaningfull chats.

Its been a few weeks and came to the conclusion that the guilt was killing me and that i needed to leave my relationship as i also want to see if there is potentialwith this guy. So I went to break up with him last night telling him everything that happened and how I seem to get on with the guy from work more naturally and have told him the truth that I kissed him and that I thought there could be a connection.

He told me he still wanted to be with me and he realises now he's been absent emotionally, he forgives me for cheating for he understands that us not being great is why those thoughts were in my head, he blames himself for not listening to all the things I told him I needed from the relationship over the past year. He says he is going to be better because he loves me.

We agreed to leave things on a break for now as we couldn't come to an agreement with what was best for us at the moment. I feel like everything he said slightly swayed me to seeing things improving as the foundations are there, but I still want to get to know this other guy. I've never been so conflicted.

Is he just telling me everything I want to hear? Is it too little too late? Do I work on building the emotional connection in my relationship now that he is willing or explore the one that comes naturally with the other guy? A big part of me still wants to get to know this other guy as I feel like I've given my boyfriend long enough to be the person I need him to be, and i know you cant change anyone. Will things actually get better or will I end up wasting more time on a relationship that's dead?

Any advice or comments would be appreciated, thanks.

TL;DR! - My relationship has lost its spark and I've tried everything I can the past year to regain it but its gone. I found a connection with another guy. I tried to break up and told my boyfriend about the other guy but he is now wanting to put the effort in to fix things. Should I stay or should I go?

1132
 
 
This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/ThrowRA_w29389823 on 2024-01-06 12:38:46+00:00.


My husband has this habit that I find very annoying, but that I can't necessarily fault him for without feeling mean.

I swear he's trying to annoy me:

-He will come to my desk when I'm busy, and then just stand there and stare at me without saying anything. He will wait for me to get exasperated enough to ask "What?" and then he'll laugh because IMO he successfully annoyed me. Then he leaves

-Alternative behavior is he will come to my desk while I'm busy and literally twerk. I will be obviously intensely reading but he will not stop twerking on the wall or whatever corner of my vision until I turn my head and acknowledge it. He especially waits for me to laugh before he stops, but I am so tired of laughing at this low-effort 'joke' or 'prank'.

This is every day, multiple times a day.

Lately I've been so exhausted that I'm using more obviously 'unimpressed' faces in response to this and trying to never give him laughs but he's persistent.

How does his behavior read to others-- am I right to be annoyed? How can I handle this without being mean?

tl;dr Husband tries IMO to annoy me but also tries to make me laugh with this behavior. I'm tired of his low-effort, repetitive 'jokes' and just want to be talked to and taken seriously.

1133
 
 
This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/ThrowRA_w29389823 on 2024-01-06 12:38:46+00:00.


My husband has this habit that I find very annoying, but that I can't necessarily fault him for without feeling mean.

I swear he's trying to annoy me:

-He will come to my desk when I'm busy, and then just stand there and stare at me without saying anything. He will wait for me to get exasperated enough to ask "What?" and then he'll laugh because IMO he successfully annoyed me. Then he leaves

-Alternative behavior is he will come to my desk while I'm busy and literally twerk. I will be obviously intensely reading but he will not stop twerking on the wall or whatever corner of my vision until I turn my head and acknowledge it. He especially waits for me to laugh before he stops, but I am so tired of laughing at this low-effort 'joke' or 'prank'.

This is every day, multiple times a day.

Lately I've been so exhausted that I'm using more obviously 'unimpressed' faces in response to this and trying to never give him laughs but he's persistent.

How does his behavior read to others-- am I right to be annoyed? How can I handle this without being mean?

tl;dr Husband tries IMO to annoy me but also tries to make me laugh with this behavior. I'm tired of his low-effort, repetitive 'jokes' and just want to be talked to and taken seriously.

1134
1
How to move on? (zerobytes.monster)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 
 
This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/OddSalary2218 on 2024-01-06 12:30:36+00:00.


Throw away acct for obvious reasons. This is a long post and I apologize for that, but there’s a lot to unpack. Even with this wall of text there is a lot I’m leaving out.

I’ve [44/m] been married to my wife [47/f] for 16 years. A few years ago I found out she was having an affair. It was an “old friend” that she ran into. She told me about it. Started out with texting, then our families started hanging out. I was never really too happy about that, but I didn’t want to seem controlling. I happened to see a text one day and the whole thing unraveled. The other couple got a divorce/wife threw him out. I agreed to stay and try to work on things.

The worst part about all of that is the deceit and lying. Something I’ve now identified as a pattern that is either a newer development, or I was oblivious to prior. I trust her in the sense that I don’t think she would cheat again, but I tend not to really believe some of the things she says.

I stayed because of my daughters. They knew nothing about what happened (until recently). I just wanted them to have a normal childhood. They’re both older now (one in college and the other about to be) and they essentially figured everything out on their own.

Aside from the affair, my wife has changed a lot since then. For a while after, everything was actually pretty good. Then things started to slide. She has said some extremely hurtful things. She said some terrible things to my daughters. Now my daughters both despise her and are basically begging me to divorce her.

I saw a therapist for a while. She told me I should divorce her. Funny enough, my wife had the same therapist for about a month. Wife quit seeing her and said she was an idiot and didn’t know what she was talking about. I suspect because she gave her some criticism that she didn’t like.

Which leads to what I’ve realized is at the core of the problem. She simply cannot take any criticism. The slightest criticism, regardless of delivery, is met with destructive comments. In her eyes, she does everything perfectly and is flawless. She also doesn’t seem to consider other people’s feelings at all. I.e. the affair and saying hurtful shit. She doesn’t care how her actions impact others.

She also seems really fake now. Like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality. My daughters have both commented on that. My youngest just said to me the other day that she told a friend that she hates her mother and the friend said that she doesn’t seem that bad. To strangers she seems nice. At home she’s awful.

I’ve lost all attraction to her. Haven’t slept with her in 6 months and the last time it was like she had to force me to. I told her a while ago she should leave. I don’t think she will. I honestly just want her to.

I know we need to divorce. That’s not even a question. I’ve already said that to her. Everyone has said the same thing. It also doesn’t help that I’ve got a few very attractive women who are constantly trying to get with me. One of which I’ve liked for a long time, who has said she wants me to rescue her from her marriage. I don’t cheat though. I never have and I never will. I just can’t do it. That said, I have needs and it’s getting tough to ignore. I wont cheat, but the idea of being able to be with someone sexually is impacting my thought process for sure.

Here’s where I’m stuck. I like my house and where I live. She hates both. My daughters have said that I should just leave, but I don’t want to. I really don’t want to. I just want her to leave. That said, recently I’ve been taking stock in my belongings, which at 44 is a fair bit, and I honestly would give it all up to be out of this relationship. I’m on the verge of going that route but it makes me so sick. It’s not the stuff. It’s the prospect of dealing with it all. I’m a professional and very busy. I also do the bulk of the household chores, manage all the money etc. So throwing a divorce and hpuse sales/buying on top of all of that is sickening.

So in my case, I know what I have to do (leave), but I guess I just don’t have the strength to do it. I’d really rather pay for her to just leave. Maybe I should propose that?

Any thoughts/advice is greatly appreciated.

TL;DR! I know I need a divorce, but I don’t want to leave my home. Wife cheated and I should have “thrown her out” I guess? Now what?

1135
1
How to move on? (zerobytes.monster)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
 
 
This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/OddSalary2218 on 2024-01-06 12:30:36+00:00.


Throw away acct for obvious reasons. This is a long post and I apologize for that, but there’s a lot to unpack. Even with this wall of text there is a lot I’m leaving out.

I’ve [44/m] been married to my wife [47/f] for 16 years. A few years ago I found out she was having an affair. It was an “old friend” that she ran into. She told me about it. Started out with texting, then our families started hanging out. I was never really too happy about that, but I didn’t want to seem controlling. I happened to see a text one day and the whole thing unraveled. The other couple got a divorce/wife threw him out. I agreed to stay and try to work on things.

The worst part about all of that is the deceit and lying. Something I’ve now identified as a pattern that is either a newer development, or I was oblivious to prior. I trust her in the sense that I don’t think she would cheat again, but I tend not to really believe some of the things she says.

I stayed because of my daughters. They knew nothing about what happened (until recently). I just wanted them to have a normal childhood. They’re both older now (one in college and the other about to be) and they essentially figured everything out on their own.

Aside from the affair, my wife has changed a lot since then. For a while after, everything was actually pretty good. Then things started to slide. She has said some extremely hurtful things. She said some terrible things to my daughters. Now my daughters both despise her and are basically begging me to divorce her.

I saw a therapist for a while. She told me I should divorce her. Funny enough, my wife had the same therapist for about a month. Wife quit seeing her and said she was an idiot and didn’t know what she was talking about. I suspect because she gave her some criticism that she didn’t like.

Which leads to what I’ve realized is at the core of the problem. She simply cannot take any criticism. The slightest criticism, regardless of delivery, is met with destructive comments. In her eyes, she does everything perfectly and is flawless. She also doesn’t seem to consider other people’s feelings at all. I.e. the affair and saying hurtful shit. She doesn’t care how her actions impact others.

She also seems really fake now. Like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde personality. My daughters have both commented on that. My youngest just said to me the other day that she told a friend that she hates her mother and the friend said that she doesn’t seem that bad. To strangers she seems nice. At home she’s awful.

I’ve lost all attraction to her. Haven’t slept with her in 6 months and the last time it was like she had to force me to. I told her a while ago she should leave. I don’t think she will. I honestly just want her to.

I know we need to divorce. That’s not even a question. I’ve already said that to her. Everyone has said the same thing. It also doesn’t help that I’ve got a few very attractive women who are constantly trying to get with me. One of which I’ve liked for a long time, who has said she wants me to rescue her from her marriage. I don’t cheat though. I never have and I never will. I just can’t do it. That said, I have needs and it’s getting tough to ignore. I wont cheat, but the idea of being able to be with someone sexually is impacting my thought process for sure.

Here’s where I’m stuck. I like my house and where I live. She hates both. My daughters have said that I should just leave, but I don’t want to. I really don’t want to. I just want her to leave. That said, recently I’ve been taking stock in my belongings, which at 44 is a fair bit, and I honestly would give it all up to be out of this relationship. I’m on the verge of going that route but it makes me so sick. It’s not the stuff. It’s the prospect of dealing with it all. I’m a professional and very busy. I also do the bulk of the household chores, manage all the money etc. So throwing a divorce and hpuse sales/buying on top of all of that is sickening.

So in my case, I know what I have to do (leave), but I guess I just don’t have the strength to do it. I’d really rather pay for her to just leave. Maybe I should propose that?

Any thoughts/advice is greatly appreciated.

TL;DR! I know I need a divorce, but I don’t want to leave my home. Wife cheated and I should have “thrown her out” I guess? Now what?

1136
 
 
This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/National-Abies-7654 on 2024-01-06 10:42:11+00:00.


Hey guys,

Backstory - I saw this cute girl on my IG story and I decided to respond to her story. We started speaking and planned to meet up for a date in 2 weeks, she was pretty receptive.

The date - I picked her up, got flowers for her, went out for dinner for Italian food (she loves Italian which I didn't even know), I player her some of my favourite music in the car which she loved and then dropped her back home. I thought the date was damn near perfect, she even texted me after the date telling me how she had a great time and loved the dinner + flowers.

After the date - She took a whole day to respond which honestly was not very unusual for her standards because she took time to reply before the date too but this time, it was longer. She told me that she doesn't use IG much and is more frequent of Snapchat. I decided to text her there, she replied immediately after the date but now she hasn't replied in over a day despite posting a snapchat story. I tried calling her a few times but she didn't respond either.

Could anyone tell me what went wrong? I'm genuinely surprised she decided to flake me despite our date being amazing.

Update - She just responded to me on Snapchat saying she's sorry about the late responses and she's busy this week as her friends have come from abroad and she's busy spending time with them. I asked her if she's open for a call because I find it way more easier to express yourself than if I were to text her.

This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, just copy the text in gray box. Is this going the right way?

1137
 
 
This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/National-Abies-7654 on 2024-01-06 10:42:11+00:00.


Hey guys,

Backstory - I saw this cute girl on my IG story and I decided to respond to her story. We started speaking and planned to meet up for a date in 2 weeks, she was pretty receptive.

The date - I picked her up, got flowers for her, went out for dinner for Italian food (she loves Italian which I didn't even know), I player her some of my favourite music in the car which she loved and then dropped her back home. I thought the date was damn near perfect, she even texted me after the date telling me how she had a great time and loved the dinner + flowers.

After the date - She took a whole day to respond which honestly was not very unusual for her standards because she took time to reply before the date too but this time, it was longer. She told me that she doesn't use IG much and is more frequent of Snapchat. I decided to text her there, she replied immediately after the date but now she hasn't replied in over a day despite posting a snapchat story. I tried calling her a few times but she didn't respond either.

Could anyone tell me what went wrong? I'm genuinely surprised she decided to flake me despite our date being amazing.

Update - She just responded to me on Snapchat saying she's sorry about the late responses and she's busy this week as her friends have come from abroad and she's busy spending time with them. I asked her if she's open for a call because I find it way more easier to express yourself than if I were to text her.

This is a sample summary of the TLDR rule, just copy the text in gray box. Is this going the right way?

1138
 
 
This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Icy_Sir2768 on 2024-01-06 10:40:30+00:00.


I [22M] have been dating a [20F] for almost a year and a half. Everything is perfect between her and I. She is understanding, thoughtful, caring, everything I could ever ask for. I am the same for her. We have never fought once in our relationship. I have a problem though.

She has partially moved in with me, as I live 40 minutes away from her parents house and I got her a job down here near mine, so I drive her to work and she stays here on the days she has to work. She also was struggling with mental health issues and it was really bad. She had horrible anxiety and depression. Now, I was able to push her to seek help and she is taking medication that has work tremendously on her. Her depression went from an 8 to a 1 and anxiety from a 10 to a 3. She’s doing great and it’s awesome to see, makes me so happy.

The problem is I realized over the course of our relationship I believe I want to be in an open relationship. I know she wouldn’t want this. I would like to explore other partners, emotionally and sexually. This is just my mindset and I have spent months debating it in my head. It’s perfect with her? Why would I throw this away? It would also make me very sad if I lost her, although I’d get over it I know eventually. I do love her. I just also want to love others is the problem. I also do not want her to spiral back into mental illness because of me breaking up with her. She also would obviously lose her job. The promise ring I got her for Christmas would be for nothing. All of her stuff she’s spent time moving in here over the past few months would have been a waste of time. So many issues. I do not feel content with just having one partner though I have come to realize.

Tl;dr: So, what should I do? I almost broke up with her for these reasons 6 months ago, but instantly started crying and realized I didn’t wanna lose her and she didn’t want me to leave. Everything is so perfect, it’s everything I could have asked for. I don’t want everything to go to waste, for her to lose her job, and most importantly for her to not slip back into mental illness. I need help navigating this issue because I am completely lost.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Icy_Sir2768 on 2024-01-06 10:40:30+00:00.


I [22M] have been dating a [20F] for almost a year and a half. Everything is perfect between her and I. She is understanding, thoughtful, caring, everything I could ever ask for. I am the same for her. We have never fought once in our relationship. I have a problem though.

She has partially moved in with me, as I live 40 minutes away from her parents house and I got her a job down here near mine, so I drive her to work and she stays here on the days she has to work. She also was struggling with mental health issues and it was really bad. She had horrible anxiety and depression. Now, I was able to push her to seek help and she is taking medication that has work tremendously on her. Her depression went from an 8 to a 1 and anxiety from a 10 to a 3. She’s doing great and it’s awesome to see, makes me so happy.

The problem is I realized over the course of our relationship I believe I want to be in an open relationship. I know she wouldn’t want this. I would like to explore other partners, emotionally and sexually. This is just my mindset and I have spent months debating it in my head. It’s perfect with her? Why would I throw this away? It would also make me very sad if I lost her, although I’d get over it I know eventually. I do love her. I just also want to love others is the problem. I also do not want her to spiral back into mental illness because of me breaking up with her. She also would obviously lose her job. The promise ring I got her for Christmas would be for nothing. All of her stuff she’s spent time moving in here over the past few months would have been a waste of time. So many issues. I do not feel content with just having one partner though I have come to realize.

Tl;dr: So, what should I do? I almost broke up with her for these reasons 6 months ago, but instantly started crying and realized I didn’t wanna lose her and she didn’t want me to leave. Everything is so perfect, it’s everything I could have asked for. I don’t want everything to go to waste, for her to lose her job, and most importantly for her to not slip back into mental illness. I need help navigating this issue because I am completely lost.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/ThrowRAexclude on 2024-01-06 10:12:35+00:00.


Some background: for my first year of university I moved away from my close friends to study in a different city. We continued texting each other after I moved but this of course put some distance between me and my friends while they were getting closer with each other since they were experiencing first year of uni together. They had the mentality that every first-year university student has: go out and have lots of fun.

I began experiencing many personal issues and decided to move back and study in the city that my friends were all in after 6 months of being away from everyone.

After returning, I realised that I was being excluded from many outings or meet-ups my friends did. At this point I was still going through a difficult period because of the issues I was referring to above, and this was adding to my sadness, making me miserable.

I confided in my best friend (let’s call him X), explained how the situation made me feel, that it was not nice leaving me out of outings cause we’re all friends. I didn’t understand why they weren’t inviting me. I thought that maybe some of the newer people in group didn’t want me there and that’s why I didn’t mind not going to some of the outings. I was just heartbroken being left out all the time, especially because they knew I was going through a difficult time and was hoping they’d be there for me in the same way that I’ve been there for them.

I told my X to imagine himself in my shoes and he said that I’m right and he implied that he wasn’t the one having problems with me, and when I asked if it’s someone else, he didn’t deny it. He even said that he would speak up for me and try to make it so that I wouldn’t get left out. This would haunt me a lot and he knew it. X was always telling me I’m right and he didn’t understand why they were acting like that.

Fast forward a few years (5-6) to now: X is currently my best friend and I love him very much. I went through these years believing that the other members of that group didn’t want me, and had many fights back then over this issue. Recently, I met up with a different friend and he revealed that this whole time it was actually my best friend X telling the friend group not to include me or let me know that they’re all meeting/going out because I “kill the vibe”, going so far to even hide Instagram stories from me so that I wouldn’t know they’re all hanging out.

This deeply hurt me and I feel betrayed by X, even more so because I’m much closer with my him now than I was in the past. He has changed now for the better and I know it. I trust the current version of him and I know he loves me, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to see him in the same way. I feel like now I am more wary and careful around X and I feel betrayed.

The funny thing is, I’ve had conversations with X about the past and he always felt as if he was a bad person and that he changed his ways in his second year of university, but I never knew why (because he seemed fine to me) until now.

I was mostly over this whole ordeal but this new information has reopened an old wound and made it worse.

I’d like to talk to my best friend about it but the friend that revealed this information to me doesn’t want anyone knowing that he told me. What do I do?

X doesn’t know that I know.

Please don’t suggest anything like cutting everyone off because these are my friends of many years and they’re a huge part of my life. I really believe that he has changed. Thank you.

TL;DR: my best friend lied to me and was the one excluding me from my friend meet-ups all those years ago and I only found out about it now from another friend.

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This is an automated archive.

The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/ThrowRAexclude on 2024-01-06 10:12:35+00:00.


Some background: for my first year of university I moved away from my close friends to study in a different city. We continued texting each other after I moved but this of course put some distance between me and my friends while they were getting closer with each other since they were experiencing first year of uni together. They had the mentality that every first-year university student has: go out and have lots of fun.

I began experiencing many personal issues and decided to move back and study in the city that my friends were all in after 6 months of being away from everyone.

After returning, I realised that I was being excluded from many outings or meet-ups my friends did. At this point I was still going through a difficult period because of the issues I was referring to above, and this was adding to my sadness, making me miserable.

I confided in my best friend (let’s call him X), explained how the situation made me feel, that it was not nice leaving me out of outings cause we’re all friends. I didn’t understand why they weren’t inviting me. I thought that maybe some of the newer people in group didn’t want me there and that’s why I didn’t mind not going to some of the outings. I was just heartbroken being left out all the time, especially because they knew I was going through a difficult time and was hoping they’d be there for me in the same way that I’ve been there for them.

I told my X to imagine himself in my shoes and he said that I’m right and he implied that he wasn’t the one having problems with me, and when I asked if it’s someone else, he didn’t deny it. He even said that he would speak up for me and try to make it so that I wouldn’t get left out. This would haunt me a lot and he knew it. X was always telling me I’m right and he didn’t understand why they were acting like that.

Fast forward a few years (5-6) to now: X is currently my best friend and I love him very much. I went through these years believing that the other members of that group didn’t want me, and had many fights back then over this issue. Recently, I met up with a different friend and he revealed that this whole time it was actually my best friend X telling the friend group not to include me or let me know that they’re all meeting/going out because I “kill the vibe”, going so far to even hide Instagram stories from me so that I wouldn’t know they’re all hanging out.

This deeply hurt me and I feel betrayed by X, even more so because I’m much closer with my him now than I was in the past. He has changed now for the better and I know it. I trust the current version of him and I know he loves me, but I’m not sure I’ll ever be able to see him in the same way. I feel like now I am more wary and careful around X and I feel betrayed.

The funny thing is, I’ve had conversations with X about the past and he always felt as if he was a bad person and that he changed his ways in his second year of university, but I never knew why (because he seemed fine to me) until now.

I was mostly over this whole ordeal but this new information has reopened an old wound and made it worse.

I’d like to talk to my best friend about it but the friend that revealed this information to me doesn’t want anyone knowing that he told me. What do I do?

X doesn’t know that I know.

Please don’t suggest anything like cutting everyone off because these are my friends of many years and they’re a huge part of my life. I really believe that he has changed. Thank you.

TL;DR: my best friend lied to me and was the one excluding me from my friend meet-ups all those years ago and I only found out about it now from another friend.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/ThrowRAway1245 on 2024-01-06 09:45:22+00:00.


Throwaway account, for obvious reasons.

So we've been in a relationship for about 3 months now. We consider ourselves fairly serious. Meaning, we see this relationship as lasting a long time, and try and work out all of our differences to allow that to happen.

And one more important piece of background: we've both discussed how neither of us are ready to have sex. And don't want to be doing anything along those lines. (No bjs, no nudes, nothing of the sort).

Often when she asks what I'm doing, she will tease me by asking, if I'm watching porn. And the answer is always no. (I watch maybe twice a month), and never while she was texting me. But I assumed with how much she would tease me about it, she wouldn't be bothered if I actually was doing that.

Recently, she asked the same question again, and I said no once again. However this time we continued talking about it. I explained that I find the whole subject of masturbating/watching porn/etc taboo, and I didn't want to discuss it. Nonetheless, she persists, and I asked her why she wanted to know. She responded with, if I was watching porn, she thinks of that as cheating. I acknowledged what she had to say, and was going to make a mental note about that. However she then continued asking if I watch porn or not, and since I wasn't going to lie to her, I just didn't answer. She realized that the answer was yes.

This caused her to feel terrible about her body. And she explained she was on the brink of cutting herself. She explained she felt like she was being touched all over, and it was really causing her to feel terrible. And that obviously was really distressing for me, because I really care about her and felt terrible knowing that my actions might cause her to hurt herself.

Obviously I told her I wouldn't continue watching porn. I don't watch it enough that it would be hard for me to quit. (And we also never discussed this boundary before, so I didn't think it would cause issues).

While discussing it, she explained she didn't have a problem with me wanking, just the watching porn part. She told me if anything I should just use pictures of her body, but not other girls on the internet. I don't like this idea, because it really would feel to me like I'm using her for her body.

Now, things between us have been fine and have been getting better, since this incident happened.

But when that did happen, I took all the blame for it, making it out like I did something wrong. But as time goes on, I can't help but feel I didn't do anything wrong. I've never even seen her undressed. The only photos of her I have are the same photos she posts on her story (not revealing or anything), meaning even if I did what she said, she doesn't have any photos of her I could get off to. And I couldn't get off with her, because we both said we won't have sex or anything. (Which is also why I assumed it would be allowed for me to watch porn, since it's something that we aren't doing in our relationship).

Obviously you could say, every relationship can set their own boundaries, and to that I agree with. I'm not gonna continue watching porn, for the reason that it bothers her (not because I feel like I did something wrong).

Finally, the issue is that I feel really guilty for doing something wrong. And I'm wondering if you guys think this is a her issue (which I would still respect), or if I really did do something wrong, in which case how can I change my mentality, because tbh I'm not sure how what I did was wrong?

Thanks.

TL;DR: me and my girlfriend dont have sex, but yet she doesn't want me to watch porn. I'm confused because it feels a bit like double standards, and I don't really understand it.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Fun-Beginning-3685 on 2024-01-06 09:44:37+00:00.


TLDR; girlfriend thinks about breaking up when things turn bad.

I(38M) date my girlfriend(19F) since 8 months. Basically she is the love of my life, we have a level of complicity I've never reached before, we can talk about every topic, laugh is everywhere, sex is great, ou families support us, it seems like everything is perfect between us. But.

My girlfriend is 20 years younger than me. It hurted her at first mostly because people was making jokes. Also because she's scared I will die sooner and leave her on her own. So she thought about breaking up then. She sent messages, needed to be comforted, so that's what I did, but she thought about it.

And there's my daughter, 8 years old, building herself in the middle of this new relationship I have. Jealousy of course, but also bad behavior remains from her mother education. And lack of autonomy. My girlfriend told me about all of this and I do my best to correct all these things. But this week my daughter made her first jealousy crisis in front of my girlfriend, who felt deeply wounded. She feels usually bad when my daughter is home and even consider my daughter is mean to her. So yesterday my girlfriend told her mom about breaking up.

I talked to her and she says she doesn't want to break up. She said it would free her from an uncomfortable situation to put her in a more uncomfortable. But here are my doubts. How hard does she want to fight ? I believe you need to work hard if you want your relationship to last long. If she thinks about leaving on every hard step, how strong is ours ? And how hard is it worth to fight ?

Do you guys have such experience to share ?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Lanky-Lie-696 on 2024-01-06 09:42:55+00:00.


TLDR: Been having an affair with a man double my age since my teens — he gave me herpes and now I really want him to leave his wife and make it work with me forreal. I feel like I’m living such serious consequences for someone who isn’t really there in my life.

Full story: I have chills writing this… because I’m really ashamed.

I’m really not proud. I’ve always tried to be respectful and ethical… But sometimes it’s really difficult to do the right thing when you’re tempted.

I met this guy when I was 18 years old, and I was interning at a company. He wasn’t my boss, but he was the leader of a different division. And I always thought he was really attractive, and it seemed like we really connected, and were able to talk about work and the industry we worked in with ease. During one of the conversations he told me, “you are the entire package” — and I was extremely flattered because I really thought he was everything I wanted in a partner.

(I should mention I was also going through the first real heartbreak of my entire life… And in my naivety, I didn’t believe this older, very attractive, and intelligent gentleman was actually interested in me.)

After I ended my internship, he added me on Snapchat and we began to connect there once again. We eventually began a sexual relationship about six months later… And I’ll spare you all the details — it’s lasted on and off for the last ten years.

There’s only 2 problems:

  1. He’s married
  2. He’s 20 years older than me

I truly believe we love and are a good match for one another. I feel sorry for his wife if she believes she still wants this relationship… But I do feel like if he would walk away, he would give them the opportunity to both be free. They’ve never had any children but they have some shared property and 20 years of history (no they haven’t been married that entire time). I don’t mean to take away from their relationship but he’s told me for years that neither of them are happy — they just feel morally obligated to see it through. He’s also told me he doesn’t see a realistic future between me and him given my age.

Generally, I respect marriage… And if I’m being honest, I feel ashamed for engaging with him. I’ve called it off multiple times but I get so weak whenever I see him — I don’t care where we are. He is the best lover I’ve ever had and I feel like it’s impossible to resist him. I’ve let him do all kinds of things to me that I would never let anyone else… and enjoyed every second of it.

And because I knew it was wrong, especially given our age difference and his marriage, I hoped I would be able to walk away from it one day. But over the holiday, I was diagnosed with HSV 2 and (again sparing you all the details) I know he gave it to me. Now, I know it’s not a death sentence but as a woman that’s unmarried and in her late 20s — I feel like this is the end for me unless I work it out with him.

It’s very painful to know that I got this from an illicit relationship that I shouldn’t have been having — than any other point of my life. Im so ashamed and disappointed.

I’m hoping that if he leaves his wife we might get a chance to try to be together. He’s still almost everything I want in a man. And while I know we have an age gap and a divorce to get through — I do feel like I love him and would be such a better person with him by my side. I feel like I hang onto every word he says because he’s so smart and inspirational — and the time we have together never feels like enough. And before I go to sleep I just have to get it off my chest

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Internal-Key-5452 on 2024-01-06 09:38:02+00:00.


My (23F) sister (24F) is dating an older man (47M). They met and started dating a year ago. Me and my parents tried to talk her out of seeing a man 23 years her senior, but she told us to keep our noses out of her relationship. We didn't want to upset her or push her away, so we respected her wishes. My sister, however, recently saw the movie "Sounds of Freedom" that came out in 2023. I don't know if I can actually say what the movie was about here, but if you heard of it or looked it up, you know what it was about and the subject matter. Me and my sister were recently out with her friends. Her boyfriend wasn't with us, and she told us how she saw the movie and felt bad about the kids in the situation.

She said people who do that too deserve to die. I started laughing and called her a hypocrite since, since she's essentially dating that person, there is no difference between her boyfriend and the bad guys in "Sound of Freedom," and her boyfriend is just as bad for dating a 23- to 24-year-old. I told my sister that she's just as much of a victim as those kids and that there is no difference between them. I told her boyfriend deserves to die a horrible fate. My sister told me to stay away from her and not talk to her until I learned to "respect her." What should I do? I was just stating an obvious fact.

TLDR: My (23F) sister (24F) is a self-righteous hypocrite what should I do?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/No-Caterpillar-5176 on 2024-01-06 08:54:46+00:00.


TL;DR: issues with BF ( 19 M) and myself (20 F) for over a year into second year of dating and feeling like his mum, after communicating various times my feelings are not the same anymore.

Hi Reddit

My BF (19 M) and I (20 F) have been dating for 2 years now. For the past year, I would say it has been the hardest year of our relationship. It started in Jan 2023 with out first issue that was related to his immature behaviour... it was so long ago I can't even remember what it was about. But I am glad I talked to him to get it off my chest and hopefully he can understand where I was coming from.

He also suffers from body image issues which I am very understanding of and try to support by saying ' Hey we should do this together... we should go for walks together' as he has gained some weight and he was very upset about it.

Often times, he would mention how many calories we ate on a meal we had on our date, which I tried to brush off but just ruined the mood all the time.

I often received romantic gestures from him because I hinted it (eg I mentioned flowers all the time - it was rarely spontaneous). However, he has blatantly told me once that if he was to see something at the shops it would remind him of me but would not buy it - I did not know why he said this because it hurt my feelings tbh? I am not the materialistic type but I do want a romantic partner.

Another issue I ran into was his lack of maturity; he depends a lot on his mum and is always lost when it comes to a solution about work, family and life in general. I realised this is not something I would like in a partner but I was told to wait it out until he does mature..? He would go to his mums room when he didnt like a shirt I thought would look nice on him and close the door and talk to her because she is frustrated. We also went to a festival together, he completely left me by myself with my brother and walked off... I felt so embarrassed because I wanted to enjoy the music with him and when I confronted him about it gently he said idk why I did that (this is often the response I get to when I communicate that something upset him)

He also stresses a lot about money (less now since I have been so upset by past occurrences) - for my birthday he was hesitant on ordering dessert because it was expensive. I felt bad at the time but if he was truely uncomfortable, I would rather him communicate this to me earlier on. He also got frustrated because he did not want to pay for the club entry fee when I was out with my friends for my birthday and started to get a bit hot headed - this is when I realised he never talks to me about issues or thoughts about us, I was always the one fighting for it and having a conversation that may clear the air about my thoughts.

We are also not intimate at all for the past 2-3 months. Rarely make out - I realised it was also from my end that I was avoiding it but he was also always reluctant to hug me and kiss me out in public.

Apart from the above, he is the most nicest, gentle, and loving soul. I love him so much, but I feel like I just have mentally checked out after all of these events and being disappointed so many times due to repetitive immature behaviour.

I genuinely do not know what to do, I am so upset all the time and think about break up so much, but then we have a good moment and I am like am I making the wrong choice? I miss his company so much when we do not chat as often because i am distant.

1147
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/DistinctScallion746 on 2024-01-06 08:51:35+00:00.


I (36F) have been dating my partner (42M) for about 3 years. Recently he was invited to his sister’s wedding and asked me to go with him. My partner isn’t close with his sister as they had a falling out years ago so he rarely see’s or speak’s to her. I have only met her once at a family gathering. Anyway, the day of the wedding comes and my partner and I mingle with some of his family before taking our seats for the ceremony. We all sit down and then the Groom walks out, who turned out to be my father. I haven’t seen or spoken to my father in 15 years as he cheated on my mother and ran off with his then girlfriend and cut us all off. So this is the first time I have seen him since. I instantly recognised him and told my partner I needed to be excused. The wedding music was just starting and I got up to leave and my father noticed me as I went to leave. He called my name and I looked back at him and just ran off. I ended up calling a Uber and leaving the wedding. My partner called me after the wedding and I told him that the man his sister was marrying is my father and I didn’t want to be there. His sister is angry and thinks I’m rude for leaving and now my father wants to talk to me and try to rekindle our relationship. I haven’t spoken to either of them and only my partner, but he thinks I should speak to his sister and my father. I don’t think I owe my father anything and am refusing to see or speak to him.

What would you do in this situation?

TL:DR - My partner & I went to his sister’s wedding and she married my father who I haven’t seen for 15 years. I left the wedding and his sister is angry. She and my father both want to speak with me. What should I do?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Own_Acanthisitta_583 on 2024-01-06 08:49:04+00:00.


For context: I've been dating my gf for about three years now on and off. However it seems as if I'm the more mature one in the relationship. The biggest thing we argue about the most is her not being able to keep and maintain a job, and her not being able to pull her weight because of no said job. This is actually the longest relationship I've been in, I usually give up within 6 months because I don't see it working or the person is just bat sh*t crazy. I have a daughter yet sometimes I feel as if I have two children when I only have one. My gf has the mentality of a teenager, always wanting things the fast way for example when it comes to money, half cleaning things, and even helping with my kid. I just don't want to waste another three years with someone who couldn't even take on that role as an adult to my kid if something were to happen to me. (I actually asked). What she would do in a situation like that her answer was to call one of my family members. Luckily I'm a smart young woman and having a living will. We've talked about marriage but deep down I don't know how I can marry someone who isn't on the maturity level as I am. Maybe I'm looking at things wrong or maybe I'm trying to paint a different picture when it's clearly in Black and White.

TL:DR How would I discuss these matters with her in a way that would be helpful and effective?

1149
 
 
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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Bruhbruh9-9 on 2024-01-06 08:23:11+00:00.


Yeah. I lost my mind when i did these things. I vow to never do it again and have spent months going to therapy to do the inner work process the guilt and the guilt is still eating me. Its a pattern of behavior thats really destructive and stupid and idk just plain bad. I gave her $10,000 cuz i felt bad. I just never told her the whole picture and i would want to understand how normal women would feel about this.

First time cheated with prostitute - genuinely oblivious to her feelings, didn’t even think of her feelings, she found out

Second time cheated with prostitue - selfish want, didn’t really care about her feelings, thought i would het away with it but she found out and I felt guilty and confessed

Third time cheated with prostitue - selfish want, didn’t really care about her feelings, thought i would get away with it but felt guilty and confessed

Spend $4k on porn and cocaine usage - selfish want, craving pleasure, don’t care about emotions, thought i would get away with it but felt guility confessed

Buying private video calls on reddit - thought i would get away with it but i felt guilty, didn’t take her boundaries seriously

Messaging 2 contacts for butt picture - Thought i would get away with it but i felt guilty, didn’t take her boundaries seriously or care

Tldr: im a fucking idiot and did alot of bad things and didnt tell her all of it, was wondering what other people would feel if it happened to you

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/PartyEconomy8200 on 2024-01-06 08:19:05+00:00.


I’m (30F) mad at my new relationship with my boyfriend (30M) and his gaming and cleaning habits. He’s the greatest guy ever but the more we have sleepovers and spend tons of time together, I end up cleaning (not because he asked or told me to, I do it because I have higher standards of cleanliness and he knows this, that’s why it bothers me.) he knows I have limited time coming up to spend time with him with work and medical procedures… am I just being annoyed and exhausted? Why does he run to his friends the second they request him to join their game. Then I’m left alone which is fine, I enjoy alone time. But it goes on for hours. Most times until I fall asleep and those are the moments I want with him. When I’m falling asleep I wish we could talk and cuddle. I end up cleaning his own apartment more than I do mine. He says thank you once in a while. I do love him, but right now I’m feeling resentment. It’s very late and I want to leave his place but I’m too tired to do so. I don’t want to come off crabby, but I am. I am annoyed. I’m a big supporter of him socializing and doing things with his friends, but this has become a routine thing and I am angry inside and don’t know how to act. If I keep doing these things, I don’t want him to get used to me doing all of the chores, but I need a clean environment and he knows that. I’m not sure if I’m feeling like this because my brother is addicted to gaming and he has become a slob. I worry about my Bfs future. We’ve talked several times about healthier habits, I’m taking it seriously and I’m not sure he is. Maybe this is normal? His ex gf never said much but she was a gamer herself and I simply am not. I am someone who is all for spending time with people while I can. It’s 3am and he’s laughing and having fun… more so than he’s ever laughed with me I feel and he immediately responds to his friends asking him to game. I want him to be happy, truly. Then he comes to bed and acts super sweet as I’m passing out or already asleep. We’ve known each other for 10 years, but have dated for 6 months now officially.

TL;DR I truly do love him. I see a long and happy future with him and we have the same goals and interests. He makes me happy, it’s just this gaming stuff I can’t seem to escape. Idk what to do or how to approach it?? How am I supposed to act when he comes to bed and sees me there? Act crabby and annoyed or talk about it when it’s late af. He does ask if he doesn’t mind if he plays for a bit. I tell him he can do whatever he wants, but I want to spend any moment I can with him. He works nights and I work overnights and this doesn’t help. Ugh I am just feeling so resentful and annoyed.. perhaps this feeling will pass, but come on. Get off the game after 5 hours and spend time with “your true love and soulmate”

Thanks for any ideas or support. I’m lost and wondering if I’m seeing his potential more than his reality right now.

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