Relationships

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/airi-hatake on 2024-01-06 01:24:32+00:00.

I have two older sisters (late 30s) and a younger brother (early 20s).

We have almost nothing in common at all. My entire life I tried so hard to find some common ground with them, but none of them ever wanted to get to know me and ignored me my entire life. I need to come to terms with the fact that we do not like each other, and if we weren't family, we wouldn't seek each other out for friendship. It's so hard communicating with them. They get all icy and ignore me, or cut me off. It's so exhausting. I have gotten to the point where I want to go no contact. Growing up was rough, I had no support from them and they contributed to the bullying I received. It was not a good feeling going to school and feeling 100% alone, and then coming home and feeling totally invisible, too.

I am a nobody to them and they never take me seriously. I'm just "there". I tried way too hard to the point where it is pathetic and I am tired of embarrassing myself trying to bond with them.

Anybody else have similar stories? Do you still keep in touch with your siblings? Are you close with them?

TL;DR : Me and my siblings don't get along and I am giving up on trying to bond with them. We are all adults now and I don't think it'll get any better. We are all such different people. It has gotten to the point where I lowkey hate them.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/ZzzangBang on 2024-01-06 01:04:31+00:00.

Me [24M] and my GF [21F] have been together for more than 2 years now. The thing is, the relationship is absolutely great on every single level when we're physically together (which happens for like 3 days every 2 weeks). The ONLY issues that exist in this relationship start existing exclusively when we're apart, and they are issues only for ME. I need demonstrations of affection and love when we're apart: I appreciate texting and calling each other frequently. She doesn't, at all. She's not a texting person, she sees responding to texts as a chore (I sometimes think with sadness that as her boyfriend she should feel different about my texts and she says thats the case but Idk about that)She usually takes 6/8 hours to reply to my texts, which I found very hard to get used to but I did because I wanted us to compromise, but I draw the line at more than 24 hours to get a reply. I feel dumb and ignored, even when we're in exams season (she's very serious about studying but I know her and I know she spends at least 2 hours of the day scrolling tiktok and watching youtube and could use 5 mins of those to text me). I voiced my issues many times (we had like 4 arguments over this spread throughout these 2 years), I asked her to text me AT LEAST once in a day. Even just a text telling me that she's gonna read and reply to my texts the next day works, too. She says she's gonna make an effort and then stops after 1 month after the argument. Of course most of the time she replies within those 6/8 hours or maybe even faster, but every 3 months or so there comes a time where she enjoys her alone time more, and periodically fails at respecting my request. Today is like the 12th time in the relationship that she let 24hrs go by and didn't reply to my texts. I know that 12 days dont seem like much in 2 years but I am not counting those times where she ALMOST breaks the rule replying like 21 hrs later (happens like 5 times a month?), and I think that it is such a simple and easy request to respect and the fact that she doesn't so easily just baffles me. The relationship is perfect when we're together in the flesh (cuddles, sex, presents, jokes, emotional support, everything you can think of is great), why can't she just respect this one super-easy thing for me? I don't understand but I think I'm fed up. I'm seriously thinking of telling her that if she doesn't respect that one rule we are done. I feel so dumb and in a weird position because I would be giving up a partner that is otherwise so loving, caring and funny. But seriously why can't she respect that one thing? Doesnt that speak to a bigger underlying issue of "not caring enough" about me? Am I being childish and unreasonable here?

TL;DR! Relationship with girlfriend absolutely perfect. Except she periodically (like once every 3 months?) doesn't respect my simple rule of responding to my texts at least within 24 hours or pushes it (replies after 20hrs or so, this happens like 5 times a month). Is it childish to tell her I'm breaking up if she doesn't put a real effort about this?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/JokerCharmed19899 on 2024-01-06 01:30:50+00:00.

My (21M) and girlfriend (20F) have been dating for over 4 years and our relationship overall has been great. However, I feel like she is literally in a second relationship with her friend. This has been an ongoing issue for us for years. When her and I are together, they’re typically texting back and forth. Within a short time frame of us hanging out, she’s wanting to know my schedule so she can go see him (he’s gay) as soon as we’re done hanging. She consistently plans activities for them to do which she’s only very rarely done for us. He’s all over her socials which is not the case for us. We also do long distance so our time together is usually minimal visits or holidays and this entire holiday has been a tug of war to get quality time with her. It is so hard to not feel controlling or obsessive over this, but I genuinely feel like he is always interjected into our relationship whether that’s him calling her during our hangouts or them being together so so so often. I have a therapist so I’m seeking professional help to navigate this situation but I also wanted to get other input. She isn’t very receptive or understanding of my frustration and sees that the way she spends her time is her decision.

tldr; my girlfriend is with her friend literally all the time and I can’t take it anymore

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/airi-hatake on 2024-01-06 01:24:32+00:00.

I have two older sisters (late 30s) and a younger brother (early 20s).

We have almost nothing in common at all. My entire life I tried so hard to find some common ground with them, but none of them ever wanted to get to know me and ignored me my entire life. I need to come to terms with the fact that we do not like each other, and if we weren't family, we wouldn't seek each other out for friendship. It's so hard communicating with them. They get all icy and ignore me, or cut me off. It's so exhausting. I have gotten to the point where I want to go no contact. Growing up was rough, I had no support from them and they contributed to the bullying I received. It was not a good feeling going to school and feeling 100% alone, and then coming home and feeling totally invisible, too.

I am a nobody to them and they never take me seriously. I'm just "there". I tried way too hard to the point where it is pathetic and I am tired of embarrassing myself trying to bond with them.

Anybody else have similar stories? Do you still keep in touch with your siblings? Are you close with them?

TL;DR : Me and my siblings don't get along and I am giving up on trying to bond with them. We are all adults now and I don't think it'll get any better. We are all such different people. It has gotten to the point where I lowkey hate them.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/gingganggoolie999 on 2024-01-06 01:04:25+00:00.

I've been with my LDR boyfriend since May 2023 (7 or so months) even though we initially met in January 2016. He lives on the opposite side of the Atlantic to me. So far to make this relationship work, both of us has invested a lot of our incomes into this, buying flights, and I once spent 2 paychecks hosting him in my country (short term rented apartment, dinners and drinks out constantly because he wanted to enjoy his first holiday since a huge professional exam). We've had some issues since we have been dating, he can be quite insecure, he would call me constantly despite the 5 hour time difference and it got me into trouble at work, or if I was out with friends. He could also be quite insensitive sometimes IMO, once taking the keys to the rented apartment I paid for and left me stranded outside in the rain for an hour because he was seeing a friend.

For Christmas and NYE, we made the decision that I would fly over for 3 weeks. I paid for my own ticket there, with no help from him whatsoever. I wrote it off as a present for passing his big exam. I felt there were issues from the moment I arrived. I am writing down three weeks of issues here and I need your input: am I being too sensitive, and I was I unreasonable for ending things since returning home. Call me out if you need to, or validate that it was unreasonable please. Some of the issues that bothered me:

1. My best friend lives in a city / state that is a 25 minute drive from his parents home that we visited for the festive period, so we organised to see her and some girlfriends one night a week into our trip. Initially after the journey to the city, he didn't want to go and I said that was fine but could I still go without him, as the best friend would leave the next day and I wouldnt see her again. He agreed to come out with us on girls night. While there, the girls had had a few drinks, and they talked about their dating life. They mentioned how I was great at dating and meeting people when I was single, and one lady asked me for advice in a jokey way. Another mentioned how when I was abroad in one of my travels that I got on the back of a man's motorbike and had him drive me to a tourist spot. It was half an hour with this man so I forgot to mention him to the BF.

The second they left, he turned and in public called me a liar (because I had forgot to mention this half an hour with this one man). He said his friends made out like I was loose. He had 3x more to drink than I did, so when he was arguing with me, two men getting into an Uber nearby stopped and turned to watch and listen. I dont know if they were concerned or they were finding it funny. The argument continued into the next morning because he hadn't apologised.. We went to a museum where he doubled down and said he was put off. I told him I felt that it was insensitive that he started an argument like that while I was stuck in his country for another 2 weeks. He said he doesn't want me to feel stuck so I could find alternative arrangements, such as a hotel. He said he didn't want to change the plan but if I was feeling trapped I could go elsewhere. I was in a completely different continent and away from all my family and it felt like I was about to be kicked out. I called my best friend sobbing and explaining the situation as I felt it, and she told me that she felt like it was her fault this fight happened and that he was being archaic, so I should collect all my stuff and go to her place and then she would drive me to her family's house for Christmas. I returned from the call and said if he wants me to leave, I can, that my bestie is on standby. Here is when he emphasized he didn't want any change and he finally apolgised. We continued our Christmas. My friend checked on me every day after that to see all was ok. But did I misread the situation? Who was the one in the wrong here?

1. He is currently out of work and for that reason he agreed to pick me up from the airport after an 8 hour flight and a 3 hour delay. Once I left customs he announced he was 40 minutes away. I waited an hour for him to come and get me. Initially I said I could get a taxi to his apartment but he said that would have been impolite and disregarding his effort to come and get me. He eventually turned up an hour later with flowers.

TL:DR: there were 8 big reasons I ended things after I spent Christmas with my long distance bf. I feel like I was unreasonable, call me out or validate me please.

Continues in comments

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/AlarmSlight168 on 2024-01-06 01:22:54+00:00.

My boyfriend (M25) and I (F23) have been together for 5 years. At the start of our relationship, I was definitely more immature, and feel like I have grown a lot over the years we've been together. I feel that he has grown some too. However, as of this past 1-2 years I have been feeling a signifiant difference in our maturity levels. He is a very kind guy who treats me very well. I fully trust him, feel comfortable with him, he makes me laugh, and does so much for me. I know wholeheartedly that he truly loves me so much. But I feel like I am ready to be my own adult and move out (which I am doing in a few weeks) and he is not.. He is very dependent and "helpless." I'm usually the one guiding us where we need to go, planning things out, solving his problems, etc. And yes, I know that it is partially my fault because I have been doing those things. But now I'm completely unattracted to him. Sadly, I am repulsed by the thought of sex with him. It hurts me to say that, but its really because I look at him either like my child or my little brother.. He always wants to be swaddled/little spoon and wrap his legs on me. He always needs my approval before doing things.. and I've told him not to ask me, I've begged him to do things based on his own judgement and I will not judge whatever he chooses. But he just keeps doing it. Whenever he is asked to do a task he immediately asks for help because he assumes he can't/doesn't know how do it. He just sits on the couch all day. Besides the fact that when we first started dating, he quickly became a gym rat (which I have been for 7+ years) and then about 2 years ago dropped over 20 lbs and stopped working out/eating right. This definitely added to my attraction issue. Not only physically, but also because I'm attracted to dedication. He doesn't need to be crazy about weights, I just wish he would be active in some way at all. I feel as if he started training just to get me to like him. He always has excuses for why he hasn't done it too. And then he gets this sad face like "I don't want to lose you."

I just feel so guilty about all of this because the truth is that I truly do care about him. I wish him all the best and wish that we could just be... friends. I just can't see myself marrying a guy like that. It makes me so upset because I know he'd be devastated if he knew this. And that genuinely makes my chest hurt knowing he'd be hurt. So I don't know what to do. I don't want to regret it later on because in all reality he is the nicest, most caring guy I've dated and its not how he treated me thats the problem and I feel like i'm not grateful enough :( How should I go about this, break up or not? How do I do it? Please help!

TDLR; My boyfriend (M25) and I (F23) have been together for 5 years, I feel like I'm his mom and have lost total attraction for him of any kind but care for him so deeply that I don't know what to do. Should I break up with him? If so, how?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/thelivingstar1 on 2024-01-06 00:30:20+00:00.

My (17m) ex (18f) girlfriend cheated on me. We started dating back in 2022, December 19th. It happened back on November 17th I remembered the day vividly, I remember going by the entrance to kiss her goodbye then going to my extra curricular. 30 minutes in my activity I got a text: “baby I messed up” I’m not gonna lie I was hoping it wasn’t what I thought it was. She came in pulled me aside and confessed she cheated on me. The dude she cheated on me with? A guy she barely knew for a week. They only talked through snap chat. He wouldn’t stop coming onto her and I guess she finally gave him cause she sent him a text basically saying “meet me underneath the staircase” I’m not gonna go into detail but they had intercourse there. She told me all of this and I didn’t know how to react. What’s worse is that she got caught. She got caught by the entire girls basketball team. This made me think she only told me because I was gonna find out eventually. I guess one of those girls, coaches or whatever reported the incident. Cause a few admin basically saw us And pulled us aside.

One thing I remember specifically is that I took off the bracelet she gave me and gave it back to her while they was escorting us. She basically went to the bathroom with admin comforting her in there to have a breakdown. And on my way out. I saw the dude. He was holding my ex’s stuff. Waiting for her to get back. Luckily I had enough self control cause I’m not gonna lie I almost pounce on him and beat him up. Hell when he was leaving I yelled “how was my girlfriend!” One time. I lied to my parents about the situation. Cause I didn’t want them to get involved and make my decision for me. I thought it over and decided that..I wanted to forgive her I mean people cheat all the time and if jay z and Beyoncé could do it. Why couldn’t I? So I called her up saying i forgive her. And I made her block him. She sent me a text outta the blue and said can she apologized to the guy she cheated on me with cause she kinda dragged him into getting in trouble. Reluctantly I said yes. And instead of just apologizing and moving on..she tried to make conversation. Still be his friend I was confused. I confronted her, she said that she can’t just block people. And when I bought up how he helped her hurt me she just said he will apologize to me. I texted her sister to tell her mom what happened and her mom basically called her out..yes it took me getting her mom involved for her to block him. I was still delusional at this point and still convinced myself I can work through this with her.

November 23rd came up. The day we officially broke up. Prior to this I was forced to give the honest truth to admin what she told me. I kinda had a hand in getting her suspended. I finally cracked and told my parents what happened…they wasn’t really supportive in the fact I was planning on staying with a cheater. So my hands were tied. So I decided to end things. I called her up. Saying that we were over. I hung up and cried, I cried for a good two hours. My mom dad and sister came to comfort me. Now..this still has me livid. Her sister outta nowhere while I was out with friends told me “bro the way this girl moved on fast” I asked for clarification. My ex was now dating the guy she cheated on me with.

Only four days after we broke up. It crushed me and I had to go home. This is where my hope of getting back together died. Before I didn’t really hated her. But now. I hate her. Hated her with a strong passion. I said some not so nice things about her to her sister, basically calling her a bad person. What made it worse is that my ex told her sister how she was both in love with him (the guy she had sex with) and me. That deeply offended me. I showed up to her concerts, give her gifts, refusing to let her walk home so i give her rides from school. she took my v card i took hers, she was my first everything and she is claiming that she is torn between me and this guy. who didn't even done anything for her. the only thing it took for him to get in-between her legs was just being flirtatious. fast forward she goes up to the board and is suspended until the next semester. I'm not gonna lie, I almost broke down when I saw her show up at my church, I can’t simply be in the same presence of her. I’m convinced she Has moved on. She is coming back on the 17th of January.

How do I move on? I done everything. I indulged in my hobbies, I hanged with friends and still, as much as I hate to admit, I really do miss being in a relationship. But this situation made me realized. She never loved me. She only loved the attention. How do I move on with my life?

Tl;dr ex cheated on me in public, I broke up with her, she is dating the guy who she cheated with.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Sensitive-Coast1369 on 2024-01-06 01:11:32+00:00.

Hi, This is my first Reddit post so I apologize for any mistakes. Me 22 F and my bf 23 M have been together for 4 years and the relationship has been pretty good. I trusted him and never though he would do anything to hurt me. That was until I found out what he did a year ago. I never go through his phone and didn't think it was necessary.

2 days ago I was looking through our pictures I took on his phone when I accidentally clicked on his Snapchat notification. It opened his group chat and I saw a video of my of dancing with another girl. He was holding her waist, the video was taken by one of his friends and I couldn't see much. It was a memory that one of his friends shared from a year ago.

I was shocked since he always reassured me that he was only going there to hang out with his friends. He never let me join him and his friends since it was " guys night". I confronted him about it and he admitted that it wasn't just this one times and it happened 3-4 times in total. He apologized and cried saying how bad he felt afterward. He told me stopped because he felt bad and truly loved me.

I couldn't say anything in the moment because I'm not sure what to feel. I can't trust him anymore but I really care about him. It happened 1 year ago which makes it harder for me to cope with it. Am I overreacting if I break up with him? I don't know if I can trust him again.

TL;DR Bf of 4 years lied to me and danced with strangers when clubbing

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Throwthepotatoaway18 on 2024-01-06 00:04:23+00:00.

I’ve been together with my girlfriend for about a year and a half, and honestly, she is the love of my life. 90% of our relationship is amazing but the 10% has me concerned. Also, for context we live together with her teenage daughter.

In the beginning I detected no jealousy from her at all, and everything seemed great. When we moved in together though, some things started to come up. I’m divorced and she’s twice divorced. She started to seem kind of off sometimes and one day she said to me she thinks I cheated on my ex-wife. That is true, and something I wasn’t proud of and hadn’t told anyone before, so I told her yes, I did. And I gave her all the details she asked for.

She was upset I didn’t tell her before we moved in together, but she also never asked, or I would have been honest. Immediately I realized this is something I have to take a look at within myself and I went straight to therapy. I also read a book “not just friends” which is about affairs and how they happen and I have taken this very seriously ever since. I wanted to find out why I made this mistake in the past and not repeat it ever again. This is now one of my core values and I will end a relationship before I ever do that again. I have never cheated on my current GF and never would.

Ever since though, it doesn’t feel like anything I do can fully gain her trust. She has the analogy that it’s like we are building a house and that takes time, and she’s trying to build it but I’m over here asking why it’s not done immediately.

Some examples of what I’m talking about:

• She doesn’t specifically say it, but I know having female friends is out of the question. She’s Latin and says that’s strange in her culture, which I can understand. The only female friendship I had I ended without her having to ask because I know it made her uncomfortable.

• My job is 99% travel, and I know this makes her really uncomfortable. I previously told her a half-truth that all of us colleagues don’t stay in the same hotel, which is 75% of the time true but she points to this a lot as to why I’m not an honest person. I wish I would have told the full truth but I knew it would make her mad.

• Whenever I have to leave for work, I invite her along but sometimes she accuses me of not actually wanting her to go with. This isn’t true at all; she can always join and has the ability to do so.

• Often while we are out in the world, she sees any interaction with other couples or other women as “swingers” who obviously want to hook up with us

• She told me I’m a dishonest person because I haven’t called my ex-wife of a few years and told her straight up what I did

• Whenever I leave for my job, she says it must be nice to “go on vacation with a bunch of other people while I have to sit and wait around for you.” I can assure you guys that most often my job does not feel like vacation at all, it is straight up work and I hate being gone from home.

• She said I look at every strip club or related type of billboard and that it’s inappropriate. She said there’s no one left in this world who is ‘godly.’ I took this personal because I’ve really been trying to work on my relationship with God but it’s hard due to shit I won’t get into. I was actually looking at a billboard thinking it’s sad that’s someone’s daughter. I have no interest in strip clubs and the 2 times I’ve been (in my 20s) I hated it.

• She’s always saying she’s jealous because she doesn’t want to lose me and doesn’t think I’m going to cheat. But anything related to women low key sets her off

• I feel like I have to be super careful about bringing up a woman in any capacity because it might set her off. Even in a harmless story of way back when or something that happened at work

• I’m very friendly with everyone because I love people and learning about the world, and she says I’m too trusting and could be easily taken advantage of. I don’t think she’s wrong so I’ve cut way back on how outgoing I usually would be in public.

I just don’t know what to do because most of our relationship is so great. Maybe the damage has been done because she isn’t a trusting person and I cheated in the past. This is something that I know I won’t do again to anyone. For context, my ex was very neurotic and controlling, and would make me feel useless. I cheated because I thought I needed validation from other women to show I was ‘good enough’ but I know now that is so stupid. I’ve worked a ton on myself, and I know my worth now, I hated how cheating felt and don’t ever want to feel that again.

I guess I’m asking, do I need to keep working to make her feel more comfortable? Maybe nothing I can do will ever make her feel ok with what I did in the past. I really don’t want to break up with her and move on because I can see spending the rest of my life with her. Maybe this is my karma for my past mistakes, if that’s true I guess I can swallow that, but this is going to be hard…

Tl:dr - My gf is always acting like I'm going to cheat. Then she says it's not that she thinks I'm going to cheat but that I'm going to find someone I love more and leave her.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/ZzzangBang on 2024-01-06 01:04:31+00:00.

Me [24M] and my GF [21F] have been together for more than 2 years now. The thing is, the relationship is absolutely great on every single level when we're physically together (which happens for like 3 days every 2 weeks). The ONLY issues that exist in this relationship start existing exclusively when we're apart, and they are issues only for ME. I need demonstrations of affection and love when we're apart: I appreciate texting and calling each other frequently. She doesn't, at all. She's not a texting person, she sees responding to texts as a chore (I sometimes think with sadness that as her boyfriend she should feel different about my texts and she says thats the case but Idk about that)She usually takes 6/8 hours to reply to my texts, which I found very hard to get used to but I did because I wanted us to compromise, but I draw the line at more than 24 hours to get a reply. I feel dumb and ignored, even when we're in exams season (she's very serious about studying but I know her and I know she spends at least 2 hours of the day scrolling tiktok and watching youtube and could use 5 mins of those to text me). I voiced my issues many times (we had like 4 arguments over this spread throughout these 2 years), I asked her to text me AT LEAST once in a day. Even just a text telling me that she's gonna read and reply to my texts the next day works, too. She says she's gonna make an effort and then stops after 1 month after the argument. Of course most of the time she replies within those 6/8 hours or maybe even faster, but every 3 months or so there comes a time where she enjoys her alone time more, and periodically fails at respecting my request. Today is like the 12th time in the relationship that she let 24hrs go by and didn't reply to my texts. I know that 12 days dont seem like much in 2 years but I am not counting those times where she ALMOST breaks the rule replying like 21 hrs later (happens like 5 times a month?), and I think that it is such a simple and easy request to respect and the fact that she doesn't so easily just baffles me. The relationship is perfect when we're together in the flesh (cuddles, sex, presents, jokes, emotional support, everything you can think of is great), why can't she just respect this one super-easy thing for me? I don't understand but I think I'm fed up. I'm seriously thinking of telling her that if she doesn't respect that one rule we are done. I feel so dumb and in a weird position because I would be giving up a partner that is otherwise so loving, caring and funny. But seriously why can't she respect that one thing? Doesnt that speak to a bigger underlying issue of "not caring enough" about me? Am I being childish and unreasonable here?

TL;DR! Relationship with girlfriend absolutely perfect. Except she periodically (like once every 3 months?) doesn't respect my simple rule of responding to my texts at least within 24 hours or pushes it (replies after 20hrs or so, this happens like 5 times a month). Is it childish to tell her I'm breaking up if she doesn't put a real effort about this?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Puzzled-World-5481 on 2024-01-06 00:29:36+00:00.

My [29f] and partner [36m] have been dating for 6 years.

I do most of our housework, and we always cook for ourselves because of different diets and preferences.

I’m not even sure if I’m happy anymore, but at the same time I’m not sure how other relationships are? Is every relationship like this?

There is simply not enough love anymore.

He never want to spend any money too, which I haven’t had much problem with over the years. Even for new years I spent $100 on a nice meal at home for us. Even for Christmas he was annoyed I wanted us to buy gifts for each other.

After new years I broke down crying saying how my life feels empty and the first things he says “are we breaking up?” “Are we canceling our holiday then”

Then he cleaned the kitchen for the first time in god knows how long saying “I thought we where breaking up so I needed to show some utility”

Maybe I need to give him another wake up call and leave him for good. I feel like he takes me for granted.

Yesterday I cleaned the whole house and he wasn’t even that happy about it, I needed to confirm saying “I cleaned the house for us”

TLDR; partner of 6 years takes me for granted and there is no love anymore.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/sparklygoosepond on 2024-01-05 22:39:44+00:00.

My boyfriend has anxiety and ADHD. He takes medication for both. He was only diagnosed with ADHD within the last few years.

Due to (what I assume) his ADHD he has always been a bit forgetful and his attention wanders off but lately it has been so severe. I will ask him a question and he will respond with something completely different eg. Me: Did you feed the dog? Him: yeah that show is pretty good. Things like that. Lately I can barely have a convo with him because he can’t make sense of what I’m saying. We went out to eat the other day and he ordered his food but it was like he couldn’t understand the options the waiter was providing him and then he got really anxious and jittery saying that the waiter was a fucking idiot. He was explained something the other day in store while I was looking at something else and he couldn’t remember what he was told to repeat to me. He asked me what medication he takes and when. There’s so many different examples.

He has started to tell me I gaslight him and I’m abusive because I will tell him things that he has done that he has no recollection of. I’ll ask him why he hasn’t taken the bins out and he will say he did. I will see the bins are inside and ask him why he said he did and he will say we never had that conversation. He told me he is struggling at work because he is always forgetting what he is doing while doing it.

He will drive through red lights or not slow down on the road when cars stop because he doesn’t see them.

He broke down last night and told me he was terrified and when I asked him why he was terrified the next second he said I don’t remember saying that what do you mean.

He has also started making really hurtful and mean comments on different occasions. He barged in and accused me of cheating on him, he told me I’m hiding money from him, he said he does all the housework (he doesn’t do a thing AT ALL), he told me I’m delusional and he told me I have something seriously wrong with me. He was never like this and we’ve been together for 5 years. We have been fighting every day.

He has socially withdrawn himself. He doesn’t see his friends. He only goes to work and comes home to sit on the couch to watch TV or game. We don’t do anything fun and he always says no to any of my suggestions. This has made me withdraw from any intimacy.

I feel on edge and worried that his behaviour has become so strange and weird. He has never been physical with me but I have started to worry.

I have encouraged him multiple times to see the doctor or psychiatrist and he doesn’t go. I have told him how concerning these behaviours are in a gentle way many times but he says I’m attacking him.

What do I do to help him? I feel like I need to leave him.

TLDR; my boyfriend has starting showing strange and different behaviour and I’m worried there is something going on with his mental health. He is refusing help but I’m really concerned. What do I do?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/youlooklikeadad on 2024-01-05 22:32:37+00:00.

I’m really at my breaking point, I love my fiancé with all my heart but I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore.

A little over a year ago he convinced me to let him get a puppy. I had a LOT of reservations about this because I know how much work pups are, and my fiancé has very bad unmediated ADHD so he struggles with motivation sometimes. I’ve never trained a puppy before or owned a dog so I told him from the get go that this is his responsibility and I don’t wanna be involved.

He begged and begged and kept reasurring me, told me he’s trained dogs before, so I believed him. Well, a year later and it’s worse than I could have imagined.

I’ll make this in list format so it’s easier to understand.

-pup has destroyed 1000s of dollars worth of my things. Pants, underwear, MULTIPLE couches, an entire bed, art supplies, irreplaceable art, lamps, pillows, chewed holes through doors etc. etc. I could go on forever. -he won’t stop biting. He is ALWAYS nibbling on us. -He barks all. the. time. A piercing shriek of a bark. It’s what I wake up to every morning directly in my ear. He barks when he’s bored and he’s seemingly always bored no matter what I do. -I can’t have people over because he’s so insane. He will jump multiple feet off the ground at people’s faces trying to lick them. He’s huge so it can be very scary for people. He will crawl all over and bite and nibble on anyone I have over. Can’t have a conversation with anyone cause I’m so focused on getting him to behave the whole time. -I cannot show any affection to my fiancé. The dog does not like us touching. If we even hug, get close to each other, he will jump up and nip at the back of my fiancé. All hell breaks loose if we kiss. -I have to keep my cats locked up upstairs because he won’t leave them alone. It doesn’t feel fair to them and I feel like a horrible cat mom because I can’t let them free roam the house in fear of him accidentally hurting them. -My fiancé can’t afford to take care of him. I’m left to buy the dog food at least 45-50% of the time because I make more than him, he hasn’t gotten him fixed yet because it’s too expensive, and he can’t afford a cage which is absolutely necessary with how destructive he is.

This is just the surface of the problems. But I genuinely have never been this stressed out and angry for such a long period of time. I feel like I’m genuinely just an angrier person now, I’m so stressed that most of the time it takes barely anything to piss me off, and I feel like a prisoner in my own home. There’s rooms in my house that genuinely look like a tornado wrecked them. Nope! Just the dog!

I have had so many conversations with my fiancé about this. Every time he says the same thing. “He’s still a puppy” “He’s learning” I don’t know what to do anymore. He won’t give him away, and I couldn’t even ask him to. As much as his dog is a chaotic creature, he can be so sweet and I’ve grown to love him.

I don’t know what else to do. My mental health this past year has absolutely crumbled. The stress that I feel is unlike anything I’ve experienced. I don’t want to leave my fiancé but I can’t have this fucking dog in my house anymore or I’m going to lose my mind and jump off a bridge. My home is supposed to be my sanctuary where I can relax and recharge, but I haven’t been able to in over a year. What do you think I should do Reddit?

(TL;DR) My fiancé hasn’t trained his dog and he’s wrecking my home and making my life a living hell. Don’t know what to do but kick him out and need advice.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/RestInFeces on 2024-01-05 22:28:38+00:00.

We've been together for three years, married less than a year, and living together for one year. The challenge we're facing has become more apparent when we moved in together. I come from a vocal Mediterranean household where sharing opinions was encouraged, and I'm open to feedback. I believe in open communication to avoid future issues and grow together. On the other hand, my husband, a White American, grew up in a home with a dominating mother, dealing with anxiety issues for which he sees a therapist.

Navigating our cultural differences while living together has been tough. I've provided feedback about household chores, recycling habits, and aspects of our intimacy. To his credit, he's made efforts to address most of these concerns. However, whenever I give feedback, he always rolls his eyes or huffs and puffs like a teenager does to their parent. He displays a sour attitude that lasts throughout the day, sometimes even disengaging with me.

Recently, our disagreements have intensified, occurring almost every two days. For instance:

• We share a tight space as two large guys, so working from home becomes a little troublesome. He hates his boss and often complains about her to his coworkers in his calls. Today I couldn't hear my own call through his own complaints about his boss, so I said "shh" - this bothered him all day and he gave me the cold shoulder.
• We want to move to another city, so when he came back home from errands, I welcomed him and said "Apply to jobs today" as I was doing the same on my laptop. He rolled his eyes and grew sour until I talked to him.
• We were leaving a movie theater where he looked over my texts, and later he pushed my head to playfully tease me. I said "Stop it" and he grew quiet and walked in front of me and didn't talk to me the way home.

This has become a pattern for us, and although we worked with a (Very flakey) couples therapist, the issue was not properly addressed. We're starting with a new couples therapist soon.

From my perspective, I am just telling my truth, and I want him to adjust something minor, he can even say "not now / maybe later" but instead I get a very pubescent reaction that makes me feel like a strict mother, and I feel isolated. If I cannot tell my husband how I feel about small things, what can I really tell him?

After his cold shouldered reactions, I'm always the one initiating reconciliation, asking why he's reacting this way. He often brings up that it is my tone that triggers him. It's true, sometimes when he yells next to me or pushes my head, I give a curt "Don't do it." So remembering that, when I can I approach him calmy and respectfully, and even with those he gets irate.

When I dig deeper in his reactions, he gets more candid and says that he feels inadequate with me and that there is always something wrong with him. But all the feedback I give him is very surface-level and daily things, and never things like "don't be a coward" "why are you so untidy" - I would never blurt out things like that. I tell him that I love him and these differences are minor in my eyes, and I'm still with him for many other great reasons.

He sometimes mentions I say the bad things about him but never the good things. I try to remind myself to thank him for doing the dishes, taking the trash etc.

The fights really tire me out, I need to be the one to initiate a truce after our fights, and after explaining myself to him, he often sees how his reactions are extreme, but the next day, here we go again. I say "Can you please try to put your dishes in the dishwasher and not in the sink?" and he rolls his eyes and gives me a very cold "O K..." and acts cold till I can address the issue again.

How can we break this pattern? He is willing to change and I am open to feedback as well.

TLDR: Married for less than a year, living together for one. I'm open about concerns; husband reacts like a teenager to feedback, causing fights almost every two days. Tried therapy but not effective. I ask for small changes, get immature reactions. Exhausted from repeating cycles. Seeking advice on breaking this pattern.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Gutterfaierie on 2024-01-05 21:51:00+00:00.

My(F29) bf(M28)and I have been in a serious relationship for eight years and recently (today) was informed about a mini vacay with a small group of female friends. They are planning a short trip to a cabin in March For a little music festival. The location is only about an hour and a half away from us so it isn’t far at all. The girls started a group chat and I told my bf about it and thought maybe he could go. At the time I didn’t realize they wanted it to be an all girls weekend kind of thing. I asked my friend that booked the cabin if he could go too and she said she was planning on skinny dipping in the hot tub and they didn’t want to worry about men being there which I totally understand. She also said it was okay for him to come anyways even tho she preferred not. I told my bf and he got upset because he feels like they don’t want him there and that they aren’t his real friends because he wasn’t personally invited. He is throwing a fit bc he isn’t one of the girls essentially. I tried to explain that if the situation was flipped, I would be stoked for him to go have some time with the boys. I don’t get upset when I’m literally never invited out with them and I’m okay with that. Another point I should mention is that after he realized he wasn’t really invited, he suddenly felt uncomfortable with my girl friends getting naked in the hot tub with me there. I feel like he is finding any reason to be upset with me going. This is childish behavior right?? I don’t know how to reason with him without him throwing a fit. This isn’t the first time this exact issue has happened.

Tl;DR bf is upset he can’t join the girls for a weekend in a cabin bc he wasn’t invited and doesn’t understand why he isn’t one of the girls??

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/RelevantAdvertising on 2024-01-05 19:38:37+00:00.

For context, I [F24] still live with my stepmom [F50] while working and going to school.

Yesterday I went to help a friend move out of his house, and left the house in a rush. Went to tell my stepmom that I was leaving and running late. She seemed to be upset that I didn’t say good morning before telling her I was leaving. I told her sorry, and that I was in a bit of a hurry and would see her later.

I got home around 4. Sometimes when I’m out all day she’ll ask if I’ve eaten so she knows if she should cook an extra portion. She was still in a bad mood when I got home but I figured she just had a bad day so I said hello, then went to my room for a nap. When I came to get dinner a few hours later she was already in her room, so I just served myself and went back to my room. What she failed to mention was that something in the stew I ate had something I was allergic to.

After throwing up I text her to ask what was in the stew, mostly so I could know if I needed a Benadryl or just to sleep it off (My reaction wasn’t too severe so I didn’t need my epipen.) She leaves me on read. I drink some warm tea to open up my throat and then go to bed.

This morning I go to greet her and ask again what was in the stew, she stays silent. I ask if something is wrong, and she starts imitating my body posture in a mocking way, still not saying anything. I ask what the problem is and she rolls her eyes and turns away from me. So I just leave.

My stepmom is very cognizant of my allergies. Sometimes she’ll make a whole separate dish for me when she’s eating something I can’t. I try to show my appreciation for her since she’s a stay at home mom, and it’s really helpful when I’m working and going to school to not have to worry about food. I’m trying not to make any crazy assumptions but I’m upset that this even happened.

TL:DR - My stepmom made food that had something I was allergic to, and won’t speak to me when I ask what was in it. How do I talk to her about this?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/HedgehogGreg on 2024-01-05 21:28:46+00:00.

Hey everyone, this is my first post ever on Reddit. Feeling pretty lost and hoping someone out there has been in a similar situation and can share some advice.

I've been with my wife for 5 years now, married for 3. She is such an incredible person. The most caring, loving, hilarious and talented person I know. She has also always been known for her big curly thick hair. It is something she would get an enormous amount of compliments on, almost daily. She felt like it was part of her personality. It was also one of if not the most attractive things physically to me.

So about 2 years after we got married I found out she was losing her hair. This is something I discovered before she did. I honestly had no idea at that time that women could even lose their hair just like men do. It's a lot more rare but it does still happen. She also had been taking hormonal birth control and then stopped taking it abruptly which can cause hair loss. We were hoping it was temporary but over a year later we now know it's not. This can also exacerbate your genetic hair loss as well, basically turbo charging it which is what has happened.

I ended up gently bringing this up to her when I saw it originally and she went to her doctor. And then another doctor. And another doctor. It's been a slow process over the past year but after many tests it's been decided that her thyroid is fine, she has no nutritional deficiencies, and it is indeed genetic hair loss for which there is very little if anything you can do about it. In her doctor's own words "If it's genetic, we can't do anything about it."

This was a shock to me. As it was to her. However, she has not voiced much concern about her hair loss throughout this past year, but she also typically doesn't like to vocalize fears like this because to her it makes it feel like the issue then becomes real. She wears hats almost every day now and doesn't like to wash or do her hair anymore. We've talked about it a few times, and I know she's stressed about it, but we really don't bring up the topic often. It's not easy to talk about.

I'm writing because this has been incredibly difficult for me. It's been a secret internal struggle that I haven't been able to tell anyone about. Morally and ethically I know I desperately want to be the type of husband who says "Your hair loss doesn't affect me at all! I am the same level of attracted to you no matter how thin your hair is! Don't worry!" I want to support her through this process, to be there for her no matter what, to assure her it's not a big deal and things will be fine. But, the truth is, it has really negatively affected my attraction towards her. I knew eventually our bodies would change and we would age together, but I just never in a million years imagined it would happen THIS quickly. These thoughts and views I have of her are not something I like, or that I can just turn off in my brain. I would empty my bank account to be able to change how I feel, to change my brain and how it views these physical things about her. I would do anything. I feel like I'm trapped inside a brain that is a shallow asshole. My heart and soul are just completely opposed to how my brain views her physically. But I just can't get past it.

Aesthetics have always been ultra important to me as an artist, in every aspect of my life, not just with other people. I think my brain is just wired to value and prioritize what it thinks are pleasing aesthetics. I see this in every aspect of my day to day life. It's been something I typically love about myself because it helps with my artistic endeavors, but now with this issue I hate it. I truly hate it with every ounce of my being.

Obviously going into marriage I knew we would change physically over the years, but I had no idea that within 2 years of getting married, at such a young age, she would go from having insanely thick long curly hair to losing half of it, leaving behind wispy thin unrecognizable hair and with no end in sight. I had no idea my attraction level would or could drop so drastically so quickly. I feel sick to my stomach with worry and anxiety on a daily basis. This is not a condition that changes or gets better. She will just continue to lose her hair over the coming years and it will continue to become a bigger issue emotionally for her and myself. I'm just so worried about the future.

These attraction issues are not something I can bring up to her obviously. It would crush her soul, and would not help at all to be vocalized. Worst case scenarios just keep running through my mind every day. A long, slow decline in our relationship due to this issue that eventually leads us to a divorce. One where I have to lie to her about WHY I want to end things. I don't want this! I don't want any of it. I want to love her unconditionally and for my attraction to be the same level no matter what, but I am struggling every day.

Any advice or helpful words from people who have experienced similar things would help greatly.

TLDR: My wife, previously known for thick curly hair, now has genetic hair loss at a young age. A huge surprise to both of us. I'm struggling with my attraction to her and feel horrible about it.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/HedgehogGreg on 2024-01-05 21:28:46+00:00.

Hey everyone, this is my first post ever on Reddit. Feeling pretty lost and hoping someone out there has been in a similar situation and can share some advice.

I've been with my wife for 5 years now, married for 3. She is such an incredible person. The most caring, loving, hilarious and talented person I know. She has also always been known for her big curly thick hair. It is something she would get an enormous amount of compliments on, almost daily. She felt like it was part of her personality. It was also one of if not the most attractive things physically to me.

So about 2 years after we got married I found out she was losing her hair. This is something I discovered before she did. I honestly had no idea at that time that women could even lose their hair just like men do. It's a lot more rare but it does still happen. She also had been taking hormonal birth control and then stopped taking it abruptly which can cause hair loss. We were hoping it was temporary but over a year later we now know it's not. This can also exacerbate your genetic hair loss as well, basically turbo charging it which is what has happened.

I ended up gently bringing this up to her when I saw it originally and she went to her doctor. And then another doctor. And another doctor. It's been a slow process over the past year but after many tests it's been decided that her thyroid is fine, she has no nutritional deficiencies, and it is indeed genetic hair loss for which there is very little if anything you can do about it. In her doctor's own words "If it's genetic, we can't do anything about it."

This was a shock to me. As it was to her. However, she has not voiced much concern about her hair loss throughout this past year, but she also typically doesn't like to vocalize fears like this because to her it makes it feel like the issue then becomes real. She wears hats almost every day now and doesn't like to wash or do her hair anymore. We've talked about it a few times, and I know she's stressed about it, but we really don't bring up the topic often. It's not easy to talk about.

I'm writing because this has been incredibly difficult for me. It's been a secret internal struggle that I haven't been able to tell anyone about. Morally and ethically I know I desperately want to be the type of husband who says "Your hair loss doesn't affect me at all! I am the same level of attracted to you no matter how thin your hair is! Don't worry!" I want to support her through this process, to be there for her no matter what, to assure her it's not a big deal and things will be fine. But, the truth is, it has really negatively affected my attraction towards her. I knew eventually our bodies would change and we would age together, but I just never in a million years imagined it would happen THIS quickly. These thoughts and views I have of her are not something I like, or that I can just turn off in my brain. I would empty my bank account to be able to change how I feel, to change my brain and how it views these physical things about her. I would do anything. I feel like I'm trapped inside a brain that is a shallow asshole. My heart and soul are just completely opposed to how my brain views her physically. But I just can't get past it.

Aesthetics have always been ultra important to me as an artist, in every aspect of my life, not just with other people. I think my brain is just wired to value and prioritize what it thinks are pleasing aesthetics. I see this in every aspect of my day to day life. It's been something I typically love about myself because it helps with my artistic endeavors, but now with this issue I hate it. I truly hate it with every ounce of my being.

Obviously going into marriage I knew we would change physically over the years, but I had no idea that within 2 years of getting married, at such a young age, she would go from having insanely thick long curly hair to losing half of it, leaving behind wispy thin unrecognizable hair and with no end in sight. I had no idea my attraction level would or could drop so drastically so quickly. I feel sick to my stomach with worry and anxiety on a daily basis. This is not a condition that changes or gets better. She will just continue to lose her hair over the coming years and it will continue to become a bigger issue emotionally for her and myself. I'm just so worried about the future.

These attraction issues are not something I can bring up to her obviously. It would crush her soul, and would not help at all to be vocalized. Worst case scenarios just keep running through my mind every day. A long, slow decline in our relationship due to this issue that eventually leads us to a divorce. One where I have to lie to her about WHY I want to end things. I don't want this! I don't want any of it. I want to love her unconditionally and for my attraction to be the same level no matter what, but I am struggling every day.

Any advice or helpful words from people who have experienced similar things would help greatly.

TLDR: My wife, previously known for thick curly hair, now has genetic hair loss at a young age. A huge surprise to both of us. I'm struggling with my attraction to her and feel horrible about it.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Dependent-Ad-5091 on 2024-01-05 19:16:50+00:00.

I (26M) have been with my gf (24F) for about 9 months now. Throughout the relationship she has done things that have made me uncomfortable and question her loyalty.

Things like playing games with groups of friends where she unzips a guys pants while keeping a serious face (happened early on in our relationship), going to parties of her ex-one night stands house and blacking out (I was with her), flirted a couple times to get free drinks, wants to network with people at bars, staying out at a frat house until 3am after clubbing…that’s about most of the things. We’ve talked through those and I have set some boundaries (which I felt I didn’t have to but still did).

But after all this I feel like I’m not wrong for questioning her loyalty to me. And a few months ago it got to the best of me. She gave me her laptop and to do work and in that time I ended up looking through some messages between her and some guys. I felt terrible but what I read between her and these men made me even more uncomfortable. Where some gentlemen were clearly into her and she is continuing the conversation with them, sending heart emojis, and while saying thank you adding in an “I love you, thanks!”.

I haven’t looked at her messages since because I didn’t feel that was appropriate to do, but how do I bring this up to her. Should I bring this up? I ask because this is very clearly a boundary I don’t want to be crossed. Am I over reacting? I feel like I’m not because she once gave attention to a guy who dm’d her and asked her out on a date…her response was “thank you and as a friend date, because sure!” (She showed me this message) which was nice of her to do but I personally did not like that she gave attention to someone who was clearly into her.

TL;DR: I have some trust issues with my gf which lead to me reading some messages, this ended up with me being uncomfortable with her texting style with other guys who show interest in her. Am I overreacting ?

Thank you for any help.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Due_Salad_8430 on 2024-01-05 19:09:53+00:00.

My Mother is trying to kick me out, what should I do?

Hello, I just came on here to ask a question since my life is pretty messed up right now.

Okay, I’m a twenty year old female, while my mother is thirty eight years old. I have five other siblings, one ran away, one left, and one is well on his way of leaving.

I used to live with my dad, but my life wasn’t getting anywhere. It’s been a back and forth custody battle between them two, since my mom was in a domestic violence situation when I was a kid.

I’ve been in multiple abuse situations, and I blame it on both of my parents since neither was ever there for me.

My mom is a heavy drinker, and she’s terrible at keeping money and jobs.

So we had an agreement. She was going to take care of the rent, while I do food, gas and other housing utilities. Me and her never really got along, I would always push my pride aside to make her happy since she’s depressed about multiple things.

Now currently, she’s been threatening to kick me out a multitude of times. Calling the police has become a regular thing as well while she’s close to black out drunk.

One situation that happened was I was working, all day for the matter. I went on break at around five, and sent them some money for food. She was happy, and I thought everything was okay.

Come around eleven, while I’m still working, she decided to text me with some bullshit. Talking about how I took her car without notice and how she was going to call the police. I got upset, telling her off while I was at work. How we had an agreement and she turns around and does this to me.

I went home, crying in the car. When I got there she was calm, acting like she didn’t do anything. So I was upset, the police were called. Now to tell you, I bought the license plate on her car, so I tore it off.

Long story short, we’re not talking even though I’m living here.

The thing is, I’m not worried about money. I’m not worried about her paying me back, I’ve always been giving and just wanting the people around me to be happy.

But she brought me from a situation at my dad’s, and put me in a situation of how now I’m about to be homeless. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been trying to contact lawyers, seeing if I could get some assistance.

I’m thinking about talking to her. But I’m actually over everything, I’ve been feeling terribly down, and quite honestly, I do want to leave. I just have no where to go.

Well, that’s it. So I’m wondering, what should I do in this situation? We usually talk after we argue and everything will be okay for maybe a few days, weeks if I’m lucky.

TL:DR- Is there a way to fix relationships with your parents until you find a place to go? Or should I let bygones be bygones?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/sliding_doors_ on 2024-01-05 18:56:45+00:00.

I feel uncomfortable writing this to strangers, but I saw here a lot of great advices from great people like you... I hope I will manage to keep this anonymous and manage to get some hints from you as I am quite worried. Please be gentle as I am opening up, making myself vulnerable. This is the background of my love story with my wife: I first met my wife 17 years ago, we were young and, after 6 months, we started our relationship. It has been a journey, our love for each other grew day by day and we really became one. Got married 5 years later, and now we have 3 wonderful girls of 11, 5 and almost 2 years old. We live abroad, we moved to different countries at the beginning of our relationship but now we stopped in a specific country, bought a house, and we got the jobs of our dreams, saving good money even if we live in an expensive country. Our kids are fully integrated and they love being here. Bottom line is that I love my wife, I love my kids and our life is good. During our marriage we had 2 real discussions, that had an impact on our relationship. First one was about the choice of a business partner for her business, she continued her way but history proved me wrong in the end. The second one was about me being involved in a 30 to 35 hours per week low remunerated part time second job, which was my hobby first of all, on top of my 9 to 5 Mon to Fri job. This took a lot of time away from my family and my kids that were growing. We came out of here crisis together, and every time I felt our love became even stronger than before. Now I am facing a new issue, this is more personal and intimate and I don't know what to do. As soon as I stopped my sport activity, 3 months before the 3rd kid, I started gaining weight, and right after that period and the delivery I saw a decrease of our intimacy moments. I want to clarify this: I am referring to the number of occasions, not the quality of them which is always great (from both sides, or at least this is what she says and shows). When I realised this, I thought it was related to me not being attractive like before so I asked her if this was the issue. She told me that my weight was irrelevant and that she loves me more than ever. It is just that life is hectic with 3 kids (for both of us) and sometimes the feel of resting is stronger than the rest. To be noted that if I sleep 5 hours per night I am fully operational, my wife needs some 8 to 9 hours to be 100%. Nevertheless I decided to start doing some physical activity, and as soon as I started I discovered to have a medical condition that prevents me from doing any sport. I am now treating this, but I don't see the end of it very soon. In the meantime our intimacy decreased even more, when I try to initiate the success is around 0, while when she is in the mood it is always a great experience as I am not able to say no in 99% of the cases (and that one I regret being proud 5 minutes later). Sometimes it is because she is tired, sometimes she had a couple of not STD issues, sometimes it's because she says I am not feeling well...in any case this situation is driving me crazy. I want to clear one of the possible reasons: she is not cheating on me. Apart from the fact that I fully trust her, we always tell each other where we are, with 3 young kids free time is very limited, and as far as I know her she is not that kind of person. But I learned here on Reddit that this may not be enough, so recently I had her phone with me and I made a quick check of all the messaging programs. There is nothing at all. I approached this topic another time recently, telling her that I started having also some physical pain linked to this inactivity, and she said she is sorry, that there is nothing wrong in me and nothing different in what she feels for me. It is just she is exhausted at the end of the day, during the day we have very little opportunities and short time, and my and her physical issues also impacted. But she doesn't show to me she is missing it, she doesn't show to me she wants to change anything. It also worth saying that she keeps looking for contact, hugs and cuddles and kisses, and whenever I say something sarcastic on the lack of intimacy she says that it is not true at all. So once I asked her if this situation is due to the quality of what we do, and she said there is no doubt she is super satisfied. We passed from everyday, to 4to5 days per week, to 2to3 per week and then all of a sudden it became 3to4 per month and now it's 1to2 per month. In conclusion:

• I am definitely not interested in cheating myself, this will never happen as I love her completely.
• I don't consider myself too demanding as I don't think we are that old not to be able to increase back the numbers. (Or am I?)
• I don't want to force her to do anything at any point in time, as I respect her totally.
• I don't want her to get intimate with me out of pity. Moreover:
• it is not because of cheating
• it is not because of my appearance
• it is not because of lack of love
• it is not because of lack of interest in it What is it then? Am I being crazy or irrational? What is wrong with all this? I cannot figure it out. Do you have any idea about it? Thanks a million!

TL;DR; my intimate moments with my wife are decreasing in number and I don't understand why

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Icy_Pomegranate9816 on 2024-01-05 18:40:27+00:00.

Tl;DR!

Am i (21F) wrong for not trusting my LDR BF (21M)?

We met online and have been long distance for 8 months. I seem to catch my Bf in a lot of lies. For example saying he’s having surgery so he can’t text me a certain day, but being online on discord and liking instagram pictures. Saying his phone died and that’s why he didn’t reply for hours but his charge was 70% when he accidentally shared a screenshot with me. There has been instances where he said he was going to sleep and then remained online longer and denied it when i asked. It seems as well the details of these stories change at later dates and don’t match up to the original . He gets angry at this says i don’t trust him and i have issues and he won’t talk to me for days at a time . I just want to know how would you react if this was your partner ?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/BeanieBabySnom on 2024-01-05 18:16:40+00:00.

I have been with my boyfriend for 6 1/2 months now. Ever since we met he has always been a very big gamer. He graduated highschool then never pursued college so he could stay at his parents house and game ALL day. It started to become a problem whenever I would call him and he would game while we talked. This ultimately resulted in him not paying attention to what I say and forgetting things. He blamed this on ADHD (never formally diagnosed.) I told him to not do it again and that it really hurt my feelings. It went on perfectly until he did it again. And again, and yet again. Every time I would get upset and remind him what he talked about. And every time he would have a huge panic attack and tell me he didn’t do it on purpose and that he’s going crazy and oh he’s just so forgetful. He never wanted to hurt me and he promised he would do whatever it took to not do it again. But the most recent time he did it, i addressed it and he said “Oh, I thought you would be proud of me for being able to game while talking to you… i thought i was doing good…” I got very upset because i told him VERY specifically and respectfully to not game while we talked. It was never about being able to multitask while we talked, just for him to pay attention. It kinda feels like an excuse he pulled out of his ass to save himself because he stuttered a lot when he said it. It’s just very frustrating because i really do like him. It’s just really disrespectful to not be listened to especially when talking about very serious topics. My friends have been telling me they don’t like him for me and I just don’t know what to think. He also just has no filter at all, he makes very weird and inappropriate jokes and it makes me not want him near my friends. He has no understanding of time and place.

I really don’t want to be done with this relationship though, i really do like him. I’m just so frustrated that my friends and family dislike him for various reasons. There’s definitely things i dislike about him but that’s natural. He’s the sweetest guys i’ve ever known (genuinely, not just saying that because i love him) besides the gaming. Part of me just wants someone that will go somewhere with their life. I’m just really at a crossroads with this situation. What seems rational?

TLDR: Boyfriend plays video games while we talks and blames it on ADHD, even after multiple talks. He also has no filter which leaves him weirding out others, and making my friends dislike him.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/fizikmizik on 2024-01-05 16:42:19+00:00.

We're dating for a year. Everything is great except one issue. We're studying the same major and it is unusually a hard one. We both have anxiety problems, mostly because of the school. When he gets stressed out, I really try to comfort him by making teas, buying sweets, hugging and kissing and talking for hours (I genuinely enjoy the time we spend together and definitely don't see it as a waste of time. But I think he does because I know he's extremely anxious about time he spends.). But when I get even a little bit upset, he gets upset too and sometimes angry. It makes my anxiety grow bigger and bigger and I always end up crying. I hate crying in front of people, even my sister (19f) or my parents. I don't want to cry this often, it really makes me hate myself. I don't want to be that kind of person. I thought of not opening myself up to my bf but why is he my bf then? I always think twice before I talk to him and if I do, I regret it almost everytime. Also, I feel like he is sick of me and my emotions. I tried to talk this issue with him a few times, he apologizes every time but it always happens again. I don't know what to do. Any advice please?

TL;DR! My bf (27m) gets angry when I'm(21f) upset

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/ThrowRAforadvice1422 on 2024-01-05 19:38:30+00:00.

My girlfriend attended a family wedding in another state. There, she claims she drank too much and was going to the after party. A man who was a close friend of the bride and groom asked if she would like to walk to the after party together. She accepted and walked with him alone.

While walking, he planted a kiss on her which she rebuffed and explained she had a boyfriend. She thought everything was cool and decided to continue with him. However, he did the same thing again except this time they made out for about a minute before she pushed him away and took an Uber back to the hotel.

She flew back home the next day and a few days later she told me about what happened and was transparent about everything. Since it's a wedding, there was plenty of video and photos of the reception so I combed through all of them to verify her story.

I asked her why she thought it was a good idea to walk alone with a guy. She said she didn't think much of it because he was a close family friend of the bride and groom. I then asked her why she continued to walk with this guy even after he had already kissed her. She said that she was naive about his intentions and her being drunk didn't help. Although a lot of alcohol was involved, she says that her actions are inexcusable and she takes full responsibility for what she did. She should have known better and never made the terrible series of decisions that she did.

I used to think cheating was black and white. However, I'm having so much trouble processing this. On the one hand what she did was horrible but I feel like her confessing immediately and showing remorse should count for something. Frankly speaking, if she hadn't told me I would have never known about this.

I am looking for advice on if I should give her a second chance. Does anyone have thoughts or suggestions?

Thank you

TL;DR: Girlfriend made out with a guy at a wedding and immediately confessed to me. Should I give her a second chance?