Relationships

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Worldly_Elephant1278 on 2024-01-04 13:33:32+00:00.

original:

yes, update already

I didn’t end up showing him the post and the comments since a lot of people said that wasn’t wise, even though he’s never been aggressive or even raised his voice at me, but I understand the concern. so I just confronted him and told him the breaks can’t happen anymore because we have a child coming and he’s just gonna have to power through and deal with his mental health problems with me there. he got really quiet (this has always been the dynamic of our relationship: I speak up and he starts getting small and emotional, I guess maybe that’s why I always thought “he needed me”). he started apologizing and said it was stupid and selfish that he did those things and that he even brought it up now. I told him he has no right to ever ask for a break for himself, only I get to do that moving forward

so I told him I’m the one now asking for a month long break where I stay with my parents because this has made me so upset and he started panicking and crying. he said he’s really sorry and he’s going to go to therapy once a week instead of twice a month and he promised to transfer the title of the condo (he fully owns it) to my name as “a promise that I’ll always have my own place, even if I ever want to kick him out”. I said it’s the least he can do since I’m carrying his child, although I don’t know how valid that promise is and if that process will even be easy or possible

he told me he loved me, he plans on marrying me, but I think I’m still too frustrated to even accept the love. I told him to give me some time to decide whether or not I want to still take that month long break / kick him out. also I’ll admit it was petty but I also called his bluff and told him to show me a ring and the title deed asap. I don’t know, just felt good to say. let’s blame it on hormones

for those concerned: I’ve sent the entire post and all comments to a bunch of friends and a some of them have offered to stay with me and my parents if I ever decide I want space, whether that’s temporary or permanent. I also had friends waiting for me to message back after I said I was going to confront him just to make sure I was good after. thank you to everyone who took the time to write out a reply. I’m seriously considering our relationship but I’m just hoping for the best for me and the baby

tldr: talked to my boyfriend and he apologized and cried a lot, said he won’t take any breaks anymore and promised me marriage and the apartment. i told him i might need a break from him because of how upset i am. considering our entire relationship but overall, I’m safe and okay

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/throwra_itlh on 2024-01-04 13:31:06+00:00.

Me (35F) and fiancé (41M) have been together for almost 4 years. He proposed a couple months ago. We’re on vacation with his parents, brother and his wife, and a friend couple of him. We were first just with his family and then the friend couple came some days ago.

It’s a huge place and lots of places to walk to not far away. And some hours ago my fiancé thought I was doing something else and I changed my mind and walked out. Everyone else had gone to the bakery. His female friend (36F) who is also in a relationship with his best friend was standing next to him by a fence with a view. I saw them from behind, standing side by side, quite close. Not totally shoulders touching, but very close. And I noticed his hand was on her waist. Like you know reaching to the side of her waist from behind furthest from himself. Holding it where the waist is the smallest.

I’m feeling very scared and hurt. Thoughts spiraling right now. One part is trying to justify it, maybe she told him something sad. But the other side of me is tearing apart. But his whole family is here! I can’t act! I feel smothered by all of this. I adore his family and don’t want to cause drama.

To add, I’ve met her sometimes and for some reason never truly liked her due to having a weird off feeling about her. There was nothing in her behavior that explained it, and I rarely have that feeling about people.

I’m hiding away somewhere no one can see me right now. I just feel so sick and anxious. We’re all hanging out here for 2 more weeks! He has been friends with her boyfriend for a couple of decades. Really close.

Nothing of this makes any sense, he has proposed, his family is here, he is friends with her boyfriend. He kissed me this morning saying I’m great. I don’t know what to do, if I pretend like nothing for two more weeks, if I should tell him in private that I saw them and ask for explanation. It’s hard to pretend, maybe I can fake being sick.

Tl:dr Me and fiancé are on family and friends holiday and I saw him alone with his female friend holding his arm around her waist.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/DrWistfulness on 2024-01-04 13:22:04+00:00.

TLDR: MIL is upset and withholding presents for our son because Wife and I won't allow them to put their horses on our property without agreeing to basic politeness.

I have been married to my wife for 10 years, together for 14. During this entire time, her family hasn’t been particularly warm to me, but we’ve been on good terms, never had any issues that I am aware of. Her sisters don’t really talk to me, never have. I realized pretty early on that they didn’t like me, so I gave them their space. My wife 41F, mother-in-law (MIL) 70F and sister-in-law (SIL) 45F all love horses… and I HATE them. But I am accepting of my wife’s hobby and help out a lot because it’s an expensive and time-intensive hobby.

4 years ago my grandmother-in-law passed and left a small inheritance to my MIL. My wife and I have a smallish property and 2 years ago, I was approached by my wife, to allow my MIL to clear land and put a horse enclosure on my property so she and my wife and SIL could keep their horses there. I initially said no. I didn’t think it was a good idea, for many reasons. But every 3 months or so, my wife would ask me again and eventually I caved and said yes but with some conditions: 1) I didn’t want us to have to foot the bill for this after it was installed, they would all three share in the responsibilities and costs 2) I didn’t want this to substantially change my life 3) it was a gift. I didn’t want to be indebted to her family for this. I.e. if we chose to sell the house, we wouldn’t have to pay her back.

My wife and MIL agreed to my terms, but MIL wouldn’t meet with me to discuss the plans or specifics of the project. I let them go and monitored the project. Several times I had to step in and put my foot down that certain aspects needed to be done correctly and not as cheaply as possible. MIL clearly wanted this to be done as quickly and cheaply as possible, but I didn’t want to fix or replace everything in 5 years because it breaks.

In October, we were nearly completed. I had spent the last several months doing backbreaking labor putting in utility lines, clearing land and digging out stumps but the property was not ready. MIL was putting pressure on us to move the horses to avoid paying board, but the shed to store hay wasn’t installed yet and there was debris over the field. The shed base was a point of contention, because they purchased an extremely cheap and flimsy shed that needed to be on a concrete base. MIL and wife didn’t want to put in the time or money to pour a slab, so they were fighting me a bit, but eventually I had to tell them to pour a slab or find another shed because the shed was so flimsy it was a major safety hazard unless properly anchored.

By end of NOV, the slab was poured, the shed installed and the debris cleaned. MIL again wanted to move horses. I wanted to set forth the ground rules and get them to agree to them prior to moving. There were six rules: 1) 30 minutes notice prior to dropping by 2) 24 hour notice for routine vet visits (emergencies don’t require notice) 3) The house is off limits unless invited in (i.e. they can’t come in when they want to use the bathroom) 4) Helmets must be worn when riding 5) Approval and liability forms required for any guests 6) Violation of these rules more than 3 times could result in removal.

This causes a major shitstorm. It was communicated via group text with my, wife, MIL and SIL. MIL agreed to these terms. SIL lost her mind and started to call wife bossy, saying that texting before coming over was completely unreasonable, that she wouldn’t send notice because she’s never had to do that at a boarding place and then said that all because I was an ass. She then started calling me names, accusing me of swindling her mother out of the inheritance. SIL suggests that FIL and MIL should sue me to get the money back.

I was respectful, but hurt. I said that if she didn’t want to agree to the rules, then that’s OK, but no horse on the property. MIL says they will bring my wife’s horse for now since they were already planning to move horses. However, I am not very wary, because litigation has been brought up and Pandora's box can’t be closed. I decide I need to cover myself financially in all this.

There were communications between MIL/SIL/wife and, a couple hours later, I get this text from SIL saying “Sorry for calling you a name.” I was still pretty hurt and responded “Which name? Ass, liar, swindler?” She responded with “ass.” I felt the apology was backhanded and said as much and that I needed some space from her. Since she didn’t agree to the rules, she couldn’t bring her horse.

A couple hours later MIL drops off wife’s horse and leaves. Then an hour after that, MIL sends wife a text saying “we’re here, are you coming out?” I went outside and sure enough, MIL and SIL are unloading their horses in the field. I stormed out of the house and yelled across the yard at them “Why are there 3 horses in my field, MIL?” SIL immediately responded “Get over yourself, dude.” I said “get over myself?! Why don’t you get your horse off my property” She said," No.” I said, “OK, then how about I call the cops, then?” This upset SIL and MIL. MIL started going on about how I should forgive family immediately after blood cools. SIL started saying that I stole the money and why did I take the money. At this point, we were talking on opposite sides of the fence and SIL moved about 60 feet away, mid conversation, so I raised my voice again so she could hear me. Finally, I realized we were at an impasse and I said, “Whatever, keep your horses here, I don’t give a shit” and walked back into the house. They decided to take their horses and leave.

After that, I decided we needed a boarding agreement where the rules and liabilities are clearly defined. We drafted a very standard boarding agreement and sent it to MIL and SIL. MIL, agreed. When SIL returned the document there was a slew of untracked changes, some of which would cause wife and I to be liable for unreasonable things like her horse getting sick or injured. Potentially putting us on the hook for thousands. SIL is a paralegal for an insurance company, so she knew exactly what she was doing. I confirmed with SIL via email all her changes to the document, but was respectful to her. We said there was no way we could accept this agreement as it would void our insurance policy. It seemed like we were at an impasse again. We say that MIL is allowed to bring her horse at any time. SIL needs to agree to the original terms. SIL declines. MIL doesn’t bring her horse.

Then father-in-law gets involved. FIL starts texting wife trying to resolve the situation. Saying MIL doesn’t trust me anymore (not sure why). MIL starts sending texts saying the barn value needed to go into the boarding agreement so “if she leaves, the barn goes too.” I think… “um.. no.”

He then asks to have a sit down with myself and wife as an “information gathering session.” We agree and he’s very respectful and calm and just says that he is planning to pay MIL back the money she put into the property and make her whole as well as give SIL the same amount. He’s trying to smooth things over. Says MIL and SIL were “joking” about the suits and not being a gift. I am amazed that this is happening, but hey… it’s his money. I’d prefer to be out of all this, but I also don’t want to get sued for any of it. We depart on good terms, with us saying we will send over an updated boarding agreement. We leave on good, smiling terms.

The next day, I send FIL a text and say that we need to sign a gift affidavit saying the horse enclosure and barn are a gift (as originally promised) before drafting new boarding agreements. He agrees and says that the funds will be transferred to make MIL whole by the end of the week. We agree to meet the following week to sign the forms at a notary. When we meet, MIL is in the car and FIL is inside. FIL is not happy or friendly, but says hi. MIL enters and doesn’t say a word. I figure “I guess everyone is mad now.” So we don’t say much, sign the paperwork and as we exit, MIL very loudly says “Oh now I am pissed.” Wife and I are like WTF? We say “thank you” as they are walking away and leave. It was a very tense situation overall.

Several days go by, Christmas goes by. We send over our normal presents to MIL and wife’s family. She thanks us for the gifts and tells us that she’s mad because I didn’t apologize to her for yelling and we both didn’t thank them (even though we did say thank you as we left).

Then there are a bunch of texts between wife and MIL where MIL is trying to convince wife of a different series of events. One where SIL and MIL haven’t done anything wrong. One where I was planning to do this all along and steal her money. And where I am a crazy person that yelled at MIL for no reason. Wife isn’t buying it and starts getting angry. Tells MIL to review all the texts and emails because they are very eye-opening.

At this point, we decide SIL is out. The Invitation to put her horse on our property is rescinded. Wife and I aren’t going to play this game every time SIL gets upset, behaves poorly and then MIL jumps in to defend her blindly. MIL is still permitted to put her horse here. MIL starts sending texts about how ungrateful we are pointing out all the times she's be generous in the past and how we should let SIL put her horse here.

The next day, we get a text from ...

Content cut off. Read original on https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/18yd21x/wife_41f_and_i_42m_agreed_to_allow_mil_70f_and/

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/throawayimoverwhelle on 2024-01-04 12:26:23+00:00.

I love my girlfriend, but she relies too much on me for happiness. We've been together for over 3 years, some of it on and off. She doesn't have any friends close by, her best friend lives in another state. Sher is not currently happy with her life, career wise and she doesn't know what she wants to do with her life. This is fine because we all have our paths in life, but it causes her to do a lot of things that suffocate me. She complains about a lot of things. I listen but I'm the type of person who is logical and just takes life as is and it just brings me down. She has a huge family and when there is an issue I'm the one that has to listen. I listen to her complain about her boss, I listen to her complain about the little friends she used to have. I have an avoidance personality so having emotional conversations are hard for me. She is the complete opposite and she is very emotional so this causes a lot of miscommunications. She wants me to be emotional but I just can't...I've gotten a lot better. She wants me to tell her how I really feel and sometimes I just want to tell her to stop complaining but I can't get myself to.

She is very insecure and that causes so many issues. I've been accused of being gay by her because of things I've said in the past like...how men in the past used to have sex with other men to show dominance. She said why would you know that information. Well sorry, I've watched some shows and have read reddit. When I'm in public I'm very aware and look around a lot, mostly due to how I used to deal with social anxiety. She accuses me of looking at men, even though I look at and notice everyone and everything. There have been a few times where gay guys have hit on me and she has gotten upset. I'm just tired of having her upset when anything like this happens. She says she has OCD and overthinks everything, but she hasn't really sort out ways to deal with it.

I don't know what to do anymore. We just moved in together and I don't have the audacity to tell her I don't like it. I feel so tired. I'm not perfect but this is just weighing me down. So many times I just want to say let's break up but I want to work on this. I love her but at what cost.

I'm really not even sure what I'm asking here. Is there a way to salvage this relationship? Is couples therapy a good idea?

TL;DR: GF relies on me too much for happiness. She has OCD and overthinks a lot of things which make me feel like I am walking on eggshells. Is there a way to salvage this relationship?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Careful_Committee_89 on 2024-01-04 12:06:44+00:00.

Tl;dr - I am away in Thailand with boys and girls, the girls have been rude to my gf and she’s not happy about my trip. I am worried it may impact our relationship.

I am away at the moment in Thailand with one of my male friends and two girls who also spend time with our group. I have recently got into a relationship with a girl I really like, the girls coming have previously been rude towards my girlfriend and she isn’t fond of them for this reason as they have caused upset previously.

I am spending 3 weeks in Thailand in total the 4 of us and my girlfriend is at home, I can tell she’s not happy I am on this trip. I have tried to reassure her I like her a lot but she says she’s not comfortable me being away with these girls. She has been less responsive and polite but not as chatty as usual since I’ve been gone, I got annoyed at her telling her it’s unfair I’m being punished with less communication. I sent her a messaging explaining this whilst I was on a night out in Thailand, then my phone died so I didn’t respond to her for 3 hours and it was 4am in Thailand by the time I replied back to her.

She told me I’d caused her to feel more anxious and she was just taking some space to control how she felt about the situation and not upset us/ruin my time away. Are her feelings valid or am I missing something?

I am struggling to understand the upset and why she is pulling away hence why I continued to go on this trip as planned despite the behaviour which caused problems in the run up.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Kannatanigawa21 on 2024-01-04 12:04:13+00:00.

I'm struggling with my feelings, and I know it's wrong. I've developed deep emotions for a married man, and I'm finding it difficult to stop. I'm a 26F and he's 43, with six kids from four different women. His families are aware of their situation and claims to have managed to be a good dad to his kids. But I can’t ignore the complexities of his situation. Can you please help me? I desperately need advice on what to do. I truly care for him, but I also acknowledge the wrong in his actions, as he wouldn't have multiple families if he were responsible/loving husband, right? We work together, and I don't want to leave my job just because of my feelings. What should be my first step? How do I even begin? I urgently need your guidance, guys.

TL;DR: He wants to have a relationship with me, I already have feelings for him. And I want to stop it ASAP. But I’m struggling. Help please.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Mountain_Athlete9645 on 2024-01-04 12:00:31+00:00.

It was extremely cold last night, but I kept myself pretty much covered. It was late at night and we both had got to bed. We had a row last night and things aren't at its best right now, but its alright. I have been sleeping on the bed and him on the couch.So, i really couldn't sleep well last night, but then around 2:30 are something (I'm not really sure but it was pretty late) I though he had slept but he crept into the room and closed the door. He lay down on the bed and pressed himself against me slightly. I don't think he knew i wasn't asleep, but his hands kept travelling EVERYWHERE and he kept mumbling something which i didn't get.I got annoyed, he hadn't even asked permission for touching me and was DOING THIS WHEN HE THOUGHT I WAS ASLEEP. I suddenly got up and he looked pretty startled. He asked me how long I was awake but I asked him what he thought he as doing. He says

'You were shivering'

I got annoyed and told him he wasn't allowed to do that without my consent and he got a little annoyed. He said he was just trying to lighten things up, but then goes back to the couch.

I really don't know what to do right now, today morning i don't think he slept but he kept playing video games all night, the pillow and blankets were kept as they were last night, but his headset in his study room was on and i could hear the background. He had gone to the bath and even made breakfast, but hasn't looked at me once. Anything i can try? I kinda feel bad

tldr: Husband tries to touch me at night when he thought i was asleep, and gets furious when when his excuse backfires and i tell him that he needs to ask for permission first.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Arav22 on 2024-01-04 11:54:35+00:00.

Well she is 21 and met her in college She had a breakup recently with her bf and she caught me in gym asked me told me why she is sad bla bla Then next day told me that she is interested in me, what I think about her Well I wasn't interested so I told her that you had a breakup thatswhy you're looking for emotional support Your not actually intrested Then we became friends She used to ask me this that help in her studies or internship etc One day I was upset so scold her that I can't help you all the time I have life and I'm not your dad She was upset so I said sorry then again after some days she started asking me for help I ignored and one day she said I'm the most weard person I said thanks for the compliment and closed the convo Thn again one day out of not where she said I'm the most disgusting person she ever met and blocked me from everywhere

What the hell just happened with me lol I don't wanna talk to her I just wanna know what the hell was this?

TL;Dr; a friend outoff no where asked me one randomly hat that I'm the most disgusting person he ever met We never had any 18+ or any other convo apart from work,job project etc.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/ThrowRA987653211 on 2024-01-04 11:54:08+00:00.

My husband (44m) and I (43f) have been married 20 years and have two kids under the age of 10. My mom was diagnosed with a terminal disease a couple years ago and have been progressively been getting worse over the years. She recently took a turn for the worse and is not expected to live much longer.

Usually my husband and I will alternate which set of parents we spend the holidays with since we live far from both of our parents. For example., if we spent Christmas with mine last year, we would spend Christmas with his this year and vice versa. This year we were supposed to spend the holidays with my husband’s parents; however, we decided to spend it with my parents instead due to my mom’s health.

My husband’s dad just had a stroke today. I feel terrible. I feel like I robbed my husband and my kids the opportunity to spend time with him while he was healthy. We’re not sure what his recovery will be like but at this point he can’t talk or move very much.

What can my husband and I do moving forward? How do we make sure we split our time fairly so both sets of parents get to spend time with their grandchildren?

Tl; dr: We skipped my husband’s turn to see his parents this year due to my mom’s health. His dad just had a stroke and now we feel terrible for not seeing him. What should we do?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/definietlynotaria on 2024-01-04 11:49:14+00:00.

i have been with my boyfriend (20M) for 10 months now and hes been great, we have alot in common and hes a great guy, except for some things that he has done over the past few months.

the first thing he ever did was like other girls pictures on instagram, and i know that doesnt sound like a big deal but i was so broken and insecure for months and i still am. i know he doesnt do that anymore but the fact that he did it just hurts me.

also he admited to getting off on another girl, he did that only once and at the begining of our relationship and i have forgiven him, but it hurts so bad.

then recently we got into a fight (the details of the fight arent important it was just me being insecure and scared hes still doing some bad stuff) after a while he started ignoring me which really hurt me alot since i hate being ignored more than anything else after he ignored me for a while i said sorry to him for starting a fight over me being insecure and he just said what do u want from me now i kept saying sorry to him because i felt so so bad but he just wont stop being mad at me.

also sometimes i just feel like he doesnt understand me at all, like when something happened thats making me really sad, he just doesnt understand why im sad and just tells me to think more positive and thats all, i can never really communicate my feelings with him because whenever i do he gets mad at me and tells me i should just think more positive. i know it all may not sound that bad and maybe im just insecure and childish but its really hurting me, i always wanted someone that can listen to my problems and give me advice but all he ever does is tell me to think positive.

so thats why i came here to ask for thoughts of other people. is it just me being insecure and its not that deep or is it really a problem in our relationship that we should work on. also the first things i said like liking other girls pictures, i said that so you know why i may sound so insecure. also he gets mad at me often for staring unneccesary fights about things that happened long ago, for example when i wanted to ask him something about the whole instagram liking thirst traps thing he instantly gets mad at me and says that its so unneccesary to talk about it because it was long ago and i just wanna start a fight, which isnt true most of the times i just want to know something and he instantly thinks i want to fight.

TL;DR: my bf did questionable things like liking other girls thirst traps, getting off to another girl,ignoring me, instantly getting mad at me and thinking i want to start a fight when i just wanna ask something and i need opinons if im just being insecure or if it really is a problem and we need to fix it

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/admiral_benign on 2024-01-04 11:13:50+00:00.

Tl;Dr My(21M) GF(21F) wants a bad boy boyfriend but I don’t know how to be like that

So for context we’ve been dating for almost a year now. She had toxic relationships in the past and I want to give her the best I can. I am called by a lot of my friends and her as a golden retriever boyfriend or as a husband material So since the last few months she goes on about how she wants a bad boyfriend. But I feel so conflicted coz firstly it’s not my nature I am just idk a very soft person by nature. And I feel very repelled by bad boy behaviour. But I want to give her the best and I wanna make her happy but idk how to be the one she wants What do I do in such a situation

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/beautyrosexo on 2024-01-04 11:07:23+00:00.

Original Title: I(19f) feel like my sister(25f) of 19 years puts me down any chance she gets lately. She has sometimes called it constitution criticism but it's as if she's just finding things to complain about me for...

I am also put down as too sensitive or reacting irrationally if I get upset at it, but she would not like it if I was doing it to her... She basically finds things to pick on me for and she called it constructive criticism, but it feels like I was just being put down and judged 🙂 I feel if she really wanted to help she would do so in a nicer manner... I am quite sensitive sometimes so I get it but I would never tell her she's being too sensitive if she was upset about something!! I'd try to be understanding and stuff. She also has accused me of calling her baby annoying when I know I didn't, then she also told me I could be autistic or bipolar one time when I was telling her my feelings about her behaviour and things...! It felt like she just wanted to Invalidate my feelings, put me down as if my reaction is wrong and that I'm "crazy" or have something "wrong" with me. It is like she never takes accountability lately and I did not expect this from her.

At times I was "angry" at her due to it all and that gets used to paint me as if I'm just a bitter person. My other sibling sometimes joins in too which is not nice. It all has made me feel like they enjoy putting me down. I confronted her about when she told me she thinks I'm autistic or bipolar, she said she told me she was joking at the time and said she said sorry... I know she did not. According to my memory... I feel if she did u would have remembered. I feel like my feelings don't matter to her and I'm maybe going to start to keep a distance from her. I never thought this would happen and I wanted her and my other sibling always in my life but if this is how they will Lepe treating me then it's best we don't even talk...

I'm sick of being put down as ways I know I am not. If she wanted to help surely she'd be kinder, there is more to it. It all began a few weeks ago when she left her husband and moved in to our moms house (where I live) and I was happy she was there and hugged her and tried to show support the first day etc. Anyway at the time I was going through a bad time personally, and I started to feel like my sister expects me to always help her with her children. It all caused me to feel a bit bit moody. There were times I was snappy to her and not my best self but I apologiesd after and explained why I was like that ( I sometimes use anger to mask my true emotions, I don't even mean to I think it's a habit from childhood which I thought I overcame but apparently. At the time was upset and i was feeling down in myself.) there is also times they'd put me down a certain way and so I'd get upset about that, as anyone would and then I was bad for reacting. I apologiesd for things and explained myself but 8 still feel unheard and as if they are painting me as if I'm a rly bad person. Yet when I have feelings I get told I'm too sensitive alot and once or twice she told me everyone goes through things but it was as if to say I am overreacting by the way she said it. It was not nice, she told me to just drop it all etc but I only communicated to her about the bipolar and autism thing because I wanted to move on from it and find some closure and an apology but we seem to have different narratives... - all in all I am feeling alone now and like my feelings don't matter, I can't think logically at times due to how often people treated me as if I am just being sensitive when I showed my emotions, it's like I can't think if I'm being unreasonable alot, I wonder alot if maybe I am overreacting etc. My mental health has been down lately and when that happens I do go way more sensitive than usual.

I don't know what to do, I feel I'm being put down as a bad person and my feelings aren't being acknowledged, I worry if maybe she just r does not want to take accountability but I didn't know/think she was like that... We were both stressed and overwhelmed at times when she stayed at our mother's house, so I can understand some of her behaviour but when there is no accountability being tookhow am I meant to get back to normal with a person ... I was not good either and I should have just told her my feelings properly at the start but I think if I told her I felt like she will expect me to constantly be at help she would get angry, I still think it. I didn't mind helping and I like to help people but I used to be a extreme people pleaser and I can't go back to being that way because then people take you for granted and end up mistreating you, and am I rly happy that way? No, my feelings matter. I did not be as helpful as I should have been at first but I had her baby alot (he is 8m old) and at the time it felt overwhelming because it has been a while since I've been around young children. It got easier though and I started to feel better knowing I'm helping etc. ♥ She said a few times that I called him annoying but I know I didn't, and I told her if I did I'm sorry and I was very overwhelmed at times etc. But I don't remember saying it! I feel like a lie is being put on me and she's sticking with it :/ and before I was a bit "grumpy" bcus while going through personal things (and a recent break up she knew about) I then felt I had to always help sis out, I wanted to help her but I felt like it was constant, maybe I over thought it all and overwhelmed myself, I should have just shared my feelings but again I had reasons why I didn't. - anyway she said to me what about when you have your own children, so I said I will look after them. She took that as a "hint" but I did not mean that and I kept telling her. I understand her but I really didn't mean that, I just answered honestly... I also stated in the past that if I had children i would not expect people to help me even if I visited them etc, it's just how I feel I would be. She got mad at that and I think took that as a hint but I was just saying, I also said it again when she got upset that we didn't help as much but I explained to her that I am not very used to them yet so I don't always know how to help... I hate that I can be that way because I like to help people but it takes me a while to adjust sometimes and I learn.

I don't know if I'm wrong for even feeling how I feel, because i understand her and she was having a hard time her marriage broke down but they are good again and I wish her happiness.

TLDR; I feel like my sister puts me down any chance she gets lately. She has sometimes called it constitution criticism but it's as if she's just finding things to complain about me for...

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/beautyrosexo on 2024-01-04 11:05:55+00:00.

Original Title: I (19f) feel like my sister(25f)of 19 years puts me down any chance she gets lately. She has sometimes called it constitution criticism but it's as if she's just finding things to complain about me for...

I am also put down as too sensitive or reacting irrationally if I get upset at it, but she would not like it if I was doing it to her... She basically finds things to pick on me for and she called it constructive criticism, but it feels like I was just being put down and judged 🙂 I feel if she really wanted to help she would do so in a nicer manner... I am quite sensitive sometimes so I get it but I would never tell her she's being too sensitive if she was upset about something!! I'd try to be understanding and stuff. She also has accused me of calling her baby annoying when I know I didn't, then she also told me I could be autistic or bipolar one time when I was telling her my feelings about her behaviour and things...! It felt like she just wanted to Invalidate my feelings, put me down as if my reaction is wrong and that I'm "crazy" or have something "wrong" with me. It is like she never takes accountability lately and I did not expect this from her.

At times I was "angry" at her due to it all and that gets used to paint me as if I'm just a bitter person. My other sibling sometimes joins in too which is not nice. It all has made me feel like they enjoy putting me down. I confronted her about when she told me she thinks I'm autistic or bipolar, she said she told me she was joking at the time and said she said sorry... I know she did not. According to my memory... I feel if she did u would have remembered. I feel like my feelings don't matter to her and I'm maybe going to start to keep a distance from her. I never thought this would happen and I wanted her and my other sibling always in my life but if this is how they will Lepe treating me then it's best we don't even talk...

I'm sick of being put down as ways I know I am not. If she wanted to help surely she'd be kinder, there is more to it. It all began a few weeks ago when she left her husband and moved in to our moms house (where I live) and I was happy she was there and hugged her and tried to show support the first day etc. Anyway at the time I was going through a bad time personally, and I started to feel like my sister expects me to always help her with her children. It all caused me to feel a bit bit moody. There were times I was snappy to her and not my best self but I apologiesd after and explained why I was like that ( I sometimes use anger to mask my true emotions, I don't even mean to I think it's a habit from childhood which I thought I overcame but apparently. At the time was upset and i was feeling down in myself.) there is also times they'd put me down a certain way and so I'd get upset about that, as anyone would and then I was bad for reacting. I apologiesd for things and explained myself but 8 still feel unheard and as if they are painting me as if I'm a rly bad person. Yet when I have feelings I get told I'm too sensitive alot and once or twice she told me everyone goes through things but it was as if to say I am overreacting by the way she said it. It was not nice, she told me to just drop it all etc but I only communicated to her about the bipolar and autism thing because I wanted to move on from it and find some closure and an apology but we seem to have different narratives... - all in all I am feeling alone now and like my feelings don't matter, I can't think logically at times due to how often people treated me as if I am just being sensitive when I showed my emotions, it's like I can't think if I'm being unreasonable alot, I wonder alot if maybe I am overreacting etc. My mental health has been down lately and when that happens I do go way more sensitive than usual.

I don't know what to do, I feel I'm being put down as a bad person and my feelings aren't being acknowledged, I worry if maybe she just r does not want to take accountability but I didn't know/think she was like that... We were both stressed and overwhelmed at times when she stayed at our mother's house, so I can understand some of her behaviour but when there is no accountability being tookhow am I meant to get back to normal with a person ... I was not good either and I should have just told her my feelings properly at the start but I think if I told her I felt like she will expect me to constantly be at help she would get angry, I still think it. I didn't mind helping and I like to help people but I used to be a extreme people pleaser and I can't go back to being that way because then people take you for granted and end up mistreating you, and am I rly happy that way? No, my feelings matter. I did not be as helpful as I should have been at first but I had her baby alot (he is 8m old) and at the time it felt overwhelming because it has been a while since I've been around young children. It got easier though and I started to feel better knowing I'm helping etc. ♥ She said a few times that I called him annoying but I know I didn't, and I told her if I did I'm sorry and I was very overwhelmed at times etc. But I don't remember saying it! I feel like a lie is being put on me and she's sticking with it :/ and before I was a bit "grumpy" bcus while going through personal things (and a recent break up she knew about) I then felt I had to always help sis out, I wanted to help her but I felt like it was constant, maybe I over thought it all and overwhelmed myself, I should have just shared my feelings but again I had reasons why I didn't. - anyway she said to me what about when you have your own children, so I said I will look after them. She took that as a "hint" but I did not mean that and I kept telling her. I understand her but I really didn't mean that, I just answered honestly... I also stated in the past that if I had children i would not expect people to help me even if I visited them etc, it's just how I feel I would be. She got mad at that and I think took that as a hint but I was just saying, I also said it again when she got upset that we didn't help as much but I explained to her that I am not very used to them yet so I don't always know how to help... I hate that I can be that way because I like to help people but it takes me a while to adjust sometimes and I learn.

I don't know if I'm wrong for even feeling how I feel, because i understand her and she was having a hard time her marriage broke down but they are good again and I wish her happiness. TLDR; I feel like my sister puts me down any chance she gets lately. She has sometimes called it constitution criticism but it's as if she's just finding things to complain about me for...

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/OkDumbassA on 2024-01-04 10:57:59+00:00.

Over the past few months, I keep falling for crushes from my school and my friend group. Although I've always had many crushes throughout high school, they've never been more than physical attraction. However in the past few months, they've been extremely frequent, and several of them have become romantic in nature. Although my friends are not really homophobic, I know they are all straight so expressing my feeling certainly ruin the friendship and make things awkward. The latest "crush" [17M] has hit me the hardest. I can't stop thinking about him and when I do, I can't help but feel intense sorrow that it would never happen as he is straight and has a gf. I've known him for years, since we were in elementary school. He is the most kind-hearted and warm person I've ever met. I can't help but just imagine and daydream all the time about a happy future of us together. The vivid dreams I have make it a million times worse and I've lost a lot of sleep because of this. I feel like I am going crazy and that i'm just making up my feelings because it's always been one-sided. We are usually a pretty close group but I'm suspecting that some of them may be picking the subtle cues and start acting a little avoidant in a way thats hard to explain. They act "gay" with each other (and me) in a straight friends kind of way and logically I know they are just joking around but it is confusing me emotionally. What should I do to stop myself from falling for my friends romantically that are just being platonic.

TLDR; I can't help but fall for my straight friends when they show me a little bit of kindness. How do I stop myself from falling for my friends romantically when they are just friendly?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/crippler95 on 2024-01-04 10:54:32+00:00.

I find myself unable to break free from thoughts of her, day and night. Our paths crossed 8 months ago at a party, sharing a mere 2-minute conversation. Occasionally, I remembered her and wanted to find her again.

Finally, after 8 months, I saw her at another party. Miraculously, she approached me, recognized me, said she liked me before, and now, seeing me again, she's interested. She asked for my number. Three weeks after the party, I've been thinking about her every day, waiting for her to text, but nothing. She told where she lived, so I decided to pass through her town, and there she was, first 200m and I saw her, and obviously, after 10mins of shock, I went back, stopped the car, and told her: I was waiting for you to write to me or something... but she says she forgot that she had my number, 5 minutes after leaving she writes to me.

The next day, we saw each other, and it was wonderful, we sang together, we kissed, she introduced me his daughter, etc. everything is fine. A few days later we are going to a party, everything is super fine, we texting only from time to time, he writes to me once or twice a day, but everything is fine, with patience, I never wrote her twice again, I have always waited patiently.

After the last party where she hinted at leaving her job so we can have more frequent meetings and dinners, she's been texting me less. I've asked her to meet up multiple times, and sometimes she doesn't respond. But every time she texts me, she expressed desire to see me. However, she continues to go silent for days. She's busy with studies and has a daughter, I know, but.. a simple text or a 2-min call, it's not that much.

Last time she texted me at 5am in NY Eve asking me what I was doing and that she wants to see me, I didn't answer her until the next day because I was already in bed. I told her that she can count on me if she needs to talk and that I would also love to see her and that when she feels comfortable she will tell me, and we will see each other. Aaaand there she is again, hasn't answered for 4 days.. She texted me just because she was drunk? And that's all? It can't be real.

I don't know her well, but I feel a strong connection, and she said the same multiple times when we were together. She claimed to be shy without alcohol and has social anxiety. I'm shy too, I feel very nervous when I see or text her, I feel a lot of pressure because I like her a lot. I'm confused and feel terrible; I just want to talk to her and see her and understand what's going on with her.

TL/DR: Met a girl at a party 8 months ago, reconnected recently. Things were great, but now she's texting less. She's busy with studies and has a kid. Confused about her mixed signals. Need advice on what to do.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Air_Buns8025 on 2024-01-04 10:28:50+00:00.

I am in a relationship with a girl who always passes out early then wakes up at like 2 or 3 in the morning and send me snap pictures of her panties and without underwear. She just gets really horny sometimes and starts snapping me. We have been seeing each other for a couple of months and things are great though it is like every time she gets like this we end up staying up for a couple of hours with her sending me stuff. A couple of time she gotten up late at night to drive to my place. I just don't know if this is a regular thing. I like the idea of us having a relationship, though she constantly changes her mind. It is really complicated to have any idea where this energy comes from. I like the relationship we are in though as the relationship has continued I just don't know if this is us in the beginning stages of the relationship or if she is just like this. To my knowledge she was always very reserved though as we got to know each other it is like a completely different relationship. I like how things are, though just don't know if things are still going up. To be honest I think they are but can't be sure. I want to see the relationship make it though at this time I don't know if it's immediately hot and cold or this will be a long relationship. I'm still getting an idea of her personality. How can I be sure?

Any advice is appreciated, thank you.

tl;dr I am in a relationship with a girl who changes her mind late at night in what she wants to do sexually, sometimes having he get in her car to visit me. I just don't know if this is normal behavior or if this is just how she is. How can I find out? Any advice is appreciated, thank you.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/cybermolfar404 on 2024-01-04 10:22:38+00:00.

We are together in LDR with my gf for a year. Before our relationships she knew that I drink alcohol sometimes and she never said that it is deal-breaker or something like that.

She told me that she wants to take care of me. And she is afraid of drunk people because of some bad experience with them. But I drink like 2-3 times a month, sometimes I do not drink for several months straight. I have no addiction, I never drink to the point when I'm drunk as shit, just to relax with friends, family. I have never got in troubles because of alcohol. And I haven't any serious problems with my health to quit alcohol. So I felt restricted in some way for no reason.

I told her that and she started declining all her words before, she started to say opposite things, like "drink as much as you want, even every day", "I love drunk people". Also she compared my words about small alcohol consumption to people who died in car accident because of alcohol. I even have no car but she seems already think that I will probably drive drunk in the future.

She said that no more limitations ever, and we mustn't care about each other "bad habits". Was I wrong to feel restricted because she was trying to take care of me?

TL;DR: my gf's opinion on alcohol became worse so she wants me to quit. I told her I felt restricted and her reaction made me feel that I don't have to feel like that.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/disgustedturnip on 2024-01-04 09:14:08+00:00.

My friend of 3 years told me today that I make them feel like they are just an acquaintance. I spend a lot of time by myself and I have never been very social. I have social anxiety so reaching out isn't my thing, I'm a big introvert. As far as I could tell I treat them the same way I treat my other friends. They said things like "things used to be different". I told them I didn't know what they mean, but they said they couldn't explain why they feel that way. They have had very big mental breakdowns in the past. Is this something I did, or maybe part of a breakdown? Is there a word for that? I just am having a hard time understanding what I did wrong.

TL;DR Friend says I make them feel like an acquaintance but can't explain why. I treat them the same as all my friends. I don't understand what I did wrong. Is this my fault?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/throawayimoverwhelle on 2024-01-04 12:26:23+00:00.

I love my girlfriend, but she relies too much on me for happiness. We've been together for over 3 years, some of it on and off. She doesn't have any friends close by, her best friend lives in another state. Sher is not currently happy with her life, career wise and she doesn't know what she wants to do with her life. This is fine because we all have our paths in life, but it causes her to do a lot of things that suffocate me. She complains about a lot of things. I listen but I'm the type of person who is logical and just takes life as is and it just brings me down. She has a huge family and when there is an issue I'm the one that has to listen. I listen to her complain about her boss, I listen to her complain about the little friends she used to have. I have an avoidance personality so having emotional conversations are hard for me. She is the complete opposite and she is very emotional so this causes a lot of miscommunications. She wants me to be emotional but I just can't...I've gotten a lot better. She wants me to tell her how I really feel and sometimes I just want to tell her to stop complaining but I can't get myself to.

She is very insecure and that causes so many issues. I've been accused of being gay by her because of things I've said in the past like...how men in the past used to have sex with other men to show dominance. She said why would you know that information. Well sorry, I've watched some shows and have read reddit. When I'm in public I'm very aware and look around a lot, mostly due to how I used to deal with social anxiety. She accuses me of looking at men, even though I look at and notice everyone and everything. There have been a few times where gay guys have hit on me and she has gotten upset. I'm just tired of having her upset when anything like this happens. She says she has OCD and overthinks everything, but she hasn't really sort out ways to deal with it.

I don't know what to do anymore. We just moved in together and I don't have the audacity to tell her I don't like it. I feel so tired. I'm not perfect but this is just weighing me down. So many times I just want to say let's break up but I want to work on this. I love her but at what cost.

I'm really not even sure what I'm asking here. Is there a way to salvage this relationship? Is couples therapy a good idea?

TL;DR: GF relies on me too much for happiness. She has OCD and overthinks a lot of things which make me feel like I am walking on eggshells. Is there a way to salvage this relationship?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Fluid-Explanation-57 on 2024-01-04 09:08:19+00:00.

He broke up with me a week ago, we took time, talked about it, and we are not getting back together

We lived in our hometown for 6 years before packing up our lives and moving 2500 miles away to a new city for his job. Since then, I've been doing side work, making side money, and taking care of our house.

He wants me out of his house in 30 days (it is 100% his house, I'm not arguing that)

I have to get 2500 miles back to my parents house with limited money and resources.

My concerns:

• I only have 1k in savings and my car payment is near 500 dollars.
• I have a motorcycle and a car, and most likely can't afford to bring both
• I have to choose which one I want to keep or neither
• I would prefer to keep the motorcycle but then I can't take my dog
• I am making payments on the car and I barely like the car, and want to get rid of it
• I can't afford a uhaul (3k just for a one way trip?)
• I am stuck and have no way to get my dog home with me

I could

• sell my car and rent a car (would be like $500-1k vs the 3k a uhaul would be) to get back to my parents so I can take my dog and ask my dad to fly to me and help me take my motorcycle home
• I can try to trade in my car for a different car that I like better and fill it full of my stuff and dog and drive back - and sell my motorcycle
• I can sell everything and fly home and not take the dog with me (I am heart broken writing this but this is the easiest option)
• I can somehow figure out my car situation and leave my motorcycle here and fly back out for it at some point

My money situation

• I make like $800-1k a month because I haven't been fully working since we moved here
• I have $1k in savings
• my car payment is $500 ish
• my motorcycle with worth like $7-8k and is paid off
• my car is worth $19-20k and I owe $21k on it
• I might have oversaved a few thousand dollars for taxes but I won't know until the 23rd of January when I get to file (it is January 4th as I write this)

I guess I am just distraught at the whole situation and the stress of breaking up and moving so far away again ALONE is really getting to me. I don't have it in me to leave my dog. I want to figure out a solution where I can take him.

I have no one to talk to. I need advice. Help. Support. Guidance.

I have parents I can ask for a bit of help from, but not monetarily. They could help me move in some sort of way if needed.

Please send advice

Tldr; 8 year relationship ended, I have to move 2500 miles back to my parents house with limited money, two vehicles, and a dog. Don't know what to do.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/definietlynotaria on 2024-01-04 11:49:14+00:00.

i have been with my boyfriend (20M) for 10 months now and hes been great, we have alot in common and hes a great guy, except for some things that he has done over the past few months.

the first thing he ever did was like other girls pictures on instagram, and i know that doesnt sound like a big deal but i was so broken and insecure for months and i still am. i know he doesnt do that anymore but the fact that he did it just hurts me.

also he admited to getting off on another girl, he did that only once and at the begining of our relationship and i have forgiven him, but it hurts so bad.

then recently we got into a fight (the details of the fight arent important it was just me being insecure and scared hes still doing some bad stuff) after a while he started ignoring me which really hurt me alot since i hate being ignored more than anything else after he ignored me for a while i said sorry to him for starting a fight over me being insecure and he just said what do u want from me now i kept saying sorry to him because i felt so so bad but he just wont stop being mad at me.

also sometimes i just feel like he doesnt understand me at all, like when something happened thats making me really sad, he just doesnt understand why im sad and just tells me to think more positive and thats all, i can never really communicate my feelings with him because whenever i do he gets mad at me and tells me i should just think more positive. i know it all may not sound that bad and maybe im just insecure and childish but its really hurting me, i always wanted someone that can listen to my problems and give me advice but all he ever does is tell me to think positive.

so thats why i came here to ask for thoughts of other people. is it just me being insecure and its not that deep or is it really a problem in our relationship that we should work on. also the first things i said like liking other girls pictures, i said that so you know why i may sound so insecure. also he gets mad at me often for staring unneccesary fights about things that happened long ago, for example when i wanted to ask him something about the whole instagram liking thirst traps thing he instantly gets mad at me and says that its so unneccesary to talk about it because it was long ago and i just wanna start a fight, which isnt true most of the times i just want to know something and he instantly thinks i want to fight.

TL;DR: my bf did questionable things like liking other girls thirst traps, getting off to another girl,ignoring me, instantly getting mad at me and thinking i want to start a fight when i just wanna ask something and i need opinons if im just being insecure or if it really is a problem and we need to fix it

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Kocxlt on 2024-01-04 08:47:20+00:00.

My girlfriend recently lost feelings and I don't know what to do. Todays our anniversary of 6 months.

I don't want advice where I'm told oh you're highschoolers just break up yada yada. I don't know what information I can provide as this is new to me and I've done more reading than posting. Me and her were fine but she around christmas started to feel less affectionate towards me out of nowhere. She was my second love that made me question wether or not my first love was actually my first love. I was her first actual love because she said with her exs some were neutral or bad but she didn't really feel love until she met me. She said she felt it physically and missed me a lot. In her notes I was the only person she believed who genuinly cares about her. Her therapist and some of her friends gave mainly oh break or poor advice. While I got a lot of helpful advice from my friends like take a break or try being more communicative. We were eachothers first everything, every base. I've had poor talking stages in the past but she felt so loyal and kind, I loved it. We had a lot of rough patches here and there with arguments or some issues but got through them. She says romance and everything is normal, so I don't know what else to do. She told me about this in the new year and new year was already sad because I couldn't spend it with her and she's been busy the last couple of days before that. Our anniversaries on the 4th and we can't see eachother, she said she hasn't been distancing and it was actually being busy, her dad said no (he does that sometimes in our relationship, i know how he is), and she also sees me more as a friend or well loves me ib that way and would want me still after the break up. My friends suggested breaks, for me to be her escape again, be patient, and try numerous things. She says rhe relationship isnt boring but nice and that I'm still attractive to her. She misses the feeling and I just want her love back. Shes now more out with friends as in calling and stuff but theres no one else, we're still together, and she says she doesn't wanna be with anyone after me (shes been saying that since the start) she used to choose to call me and hang out with me instead of her friends and best friends even when I said I don't mind or I won't be upset but she says it was her choice now she doesn't really anymore.

TL;DR: My girlfriend Lost the spark for no apparant reason, told me, and now we're figuring out how to fix it.

Thoughts? Advice? Any extra info from me?

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/admiral_benign on 2024-01-04 11:13:50+00:00.

Tl;Dr My(21M) GF(21F) wants a bad boy boyfriend but I don’t know how to be like that

So for context we’ve been dating for almost a year now. She had toxic relationships in the past and I want to give her the best I can. I am called by a lot of my friends and her as a golden retriever boyfriend or as a husband material So since the last few months she goes on about how she wants a bad boyfriend. But I feel so conflicted coz firstly it’s not my nature I am just idk a very soft person by nature. And I feel very repelled by bad boy behaviour. But I want to give her the best and I wanna make her happy but idk how to be the one she wants What do I do in such a situation

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/cybermolfar404 on 2024-01-04 10:22:38+00:00.

We are together in LDR with my gf for a year. Before our relationships she knew that I drink alcohol sometimes and she never said that it is deal-breaker or something like that.

She told me that she wants to take care of me. And she is afraid of drunk people because of some bad experience with them. But I drink like 2-3 times a month, sometimes I do not drink for several months straight. I have no addiction, I never drink to the point when I'm drunk as shit, just to relax with friends, family. I have never got in troubles because of alcohol. And I haven't any serious problems with my health to quit alcohol. So I felt restricted in some way for no reason.

I told her that and she started declining all her words before, she started to say opposite things, like "drink as much as you want, even every day", "I love drunk people". Also she compared my words about small alcohol consumption to people who died in car accident because of alcohol. I even have no car but she seems already think that I will probably drive drunk in the future.

She said that no more limitations ever, and we mustn't care about each other "bad habits". Was I wrong to feel restricted because she was trying to take care of me?

TL;DR: my gf's opinion on alcohol became worse so she wants me to quit. I told her I felt restricted and her reaction made me feel that I don't have to feel like that.

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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Fluid-Explanation-57 on 2024-01-04 09:08:19+00:00.

He broke up with me a week ago, we took time, talked about it, and we are not getting back together

We lived in our hometown for 6 years before packing up our lives and moving 2500 miles away to a new city for his job. Since then, I've been doing side work, making side money, and taking care of our house.

He wants me out of his house in 30 days (it is 100% his house, I'm not arguing that)

I have to get 2500 miles back to my parents house with limited money and resources.

My concerns:

• I only have 1k in savings and my car payment is near 500 dollars.
• I have a motorcycle and a car, and most likely can't afford to bring both
• I have to choose which one I want to keep or neither
• I would prefer to keep the motorcycle but then I can't take my dog
• I am making payments on the car and I barely like the car, and want to get rid of it
• I can't afford a uhaul (3k just for a one way trip?)
• I am stuck and have no way to get my dog home with me

I could

• sell my car and rent a car (would be like $500-1k vs the 3k a uhaul would be) to get back to my parents so I can take my dog and ask my dad to fly to me and help me take my motorcycle home
• I can try to trade in my car for a different car that I like better and fill it full of my stuff and dog and drive back - and sell my motorcycle
• I can sell everything and fly home and not take the dog with me (I am heart broken writing this but this is the easiest option)
• I can somehow figure out my car situation and leave my motorcycle here and fly back out for it at some point

My money situation

• I make like $800-1k a month because I haven't been fully working since we moved here
• I have $1k in savings
• my car payment is $500 ish
• my motorcycle with worth like $7-8k and is paid off
• my car is worth $19-20k and I owe $21k on it
• I might have oversaved a few thousand dollars for taxes but I won't know until the 23rd of January when I get to file (it is January 4th as I write this)

I guess I am just distraught at the whole situation and the stress of breaking up and moving so far away again ALONE is really getting to me. I don't have it in me to leave my dog. I want to figure out a solution where I can take him.

I have no one to talk to. I need advice. Help. Support. Guidance.

I have parents I can ask for a bit of help from, but not monetarily. They could help me move in some sort of way if needed.

Please send advice

Tldr; 8 year relationship ended, I have to move 2500 miles back to my parents house with limited money, two vehicles, and a dog. Don't know what to do.