r/TwoXChromosomes: You are the community. You have all the power of the internet to mold it.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/und3rc0v3r- on 2023-09-28 00:36:27.

Today in Croydon a 15-year-old girl was stabbed to death by a 17-year-old boy because she rejected his advances. Me, a concerned female, started talking to my mum about the disturbing rise in extreme misogyny amongst young men and she told me off for men bashing because I have brother. She was actually more concerned about the perception of men because she has a son, rather than the violence women face despite having a daughter.

I just don't understand why some mothers don't have the ability to empathise with their daughters despite being both women.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/LaScoundrelle on 2023-09-28 00:15:27.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/stillfumbling on 2023-09-27 23:41:59.

At a concert this weekend, with probably 200 empty seats surrounding me, some old cis white motherfucker sits next to me and starts making full side body contact. Every inch from my leg to my shoulder. No one on his other side. So many other seats available.

My friends offered we could move, but I liked our seats and honestly fuck him. So my friend “Dan” swapped seats with me and just about blew the guy a kiss. WOULDN’T YOU KNOW, suddenly the guy knows what an appropriate amount of space is to give a strange human.

I feel like a free sex worker. Like yeah, just come use my body however you feel like it.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Phenomenamenax on 2023-09-27 23:37:25.

We matched on Bumble last week, Wednesday, and started chatting. Thursday, we continued to chat on the app. He said a 7-year relationship ended about 7 months ago, when he discovered his gf was cheating on him. He explained he was very new to online dating and would say things like “this is my 6th day on the app” “this is a strange way to meet”. In the interest of transparency, I told him that I had recently been laid off for my company in case that mattered to him. He called me right away when he saw that message and said he wanted to hear my voice, and said he wanted to meet me.

We met on a date, last Friday. We met at the park and he drove us to nice breakfast place for breakfast. One of the first things I noticed was he looked like he was trembling, like he was nervous, but later he seemed to relax. In the course of the conversation, the topic of his family’s business came up and I he tells me that it’s the longest standing erotic novelties store in our city. They have 2 stores, and one of their stores is like 3 blocks from my house and I see it all the time. At one point in our next dates we were driving to his store, I pointed to him my house when we passed by (which I realize was a mistake later on)

We've been to 3 dates, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. In the 3 dates, texts and phone calls we’ve had, he seems to have developed an intense adoration for me. Intense is putting it mildly. It’s like nothing I’ve experienced before. To the point that it seems uncomfortable. Everything is happening too fast. During Saturday’s date, he was holding my hand all the time, and saying things like “I’m excited to know you deeper”, “I’ve never felt this strongly so fast before”., “I miss you”, “”I’m so lucky to have met you”, etc. On our date last Sunday, he already talked about moving in with me. He already wants to meet my son, he already wants me to meet his sister and mother. He seems to be already imagining our life together. It hasn’t even been a week, so this freaked me out.

Everything seems to be moving so fast and so intensely. He comes across as being wealthy, in terms of the cars that he drives and the house that he lives in, based from the background check that I did on him so I don’t think he was trying to take advantage of me financially especially since I told him I’m unemployed right now. I told him I can’t meet him for the rest of this week as I will be busy with the job hunting and certification I am taking up so we didn’t see each other since Monday.

Last night, we had this phone call. There were instances we he talked very slow, almost poetic… it almost sounds like he’s in a trance, that I have a hard time following his thoughts.. for some reason, this creeped me out. So, I told him that I'm not in a good headspace to date and maybe we should slow down. He was relentless at trying to convince me "there is this man that's always here for you" it was almost 2 hours of talking of just trying to talk me out of my decision to give each other some space. I tried to turn him off by telling him I am not mentally well, that I would sabotage this relationship and I am stubborn. He told me he can calm me down. I told him I cannot be controlled or calmed down and I am mean. Just to turn him off.

After the call, he started sending me random pics of his cars, where he is in his house. It’s as if to show off his wealth, that he's a catch. He would not give up no matter how much I try to push him away. He left me a voicemail at 3 am asking me to call him in the morning and we’ll have breakfast. When I didn’t call this morning, he rang my doorbell! I didn’t answer the door and I sent him a message that he’s scaring me. He apologized and he said he was just there to bring me and my son breakfast, he left it and drove away (I can see him from my ring doorbell).

I have never experienced this level of intensity of adoration from anyone before. It doesn’t seem normal, but then, he doesn’t seem to be like an ordinary guy. I told him he should continue searching for the woman of his dreams and not to contact me anymore. He sent a response, quote: “i honestly can't believe i caused you to have these sorts of deep feelings. it of course was not my intention. i easily thought we shared an amazing connection [my name]. i truly respect your thoughts. and i won't contact you after this text.”

Do his actions seem like from someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, or am I just reading him wrong?

/Edit: as some people have pointed out, this may not necessarily be an indication of NPD, but potentially signs of abuser. I wanted to mention this to reconsider the question.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/chisqua on 2023-09-27 23:32:03.

I (32F) am from the USA and am traveling Europe on my own. I’ve been going to do things on my own and that includes finding drinks. I am also a part of the LGBTQ+ community, so I feel safer in bars that are meant for such folk.

The last two days, I’ve been at bars WITH HEADPHONES IN, and I’ve had local men (both almost double my age) approach me to carry on a conversation. I’ve been happy to chat with people on my journey and getting to know other people. However, the problem is that BOTH of these men have hit on me to a scale that I am both uncomfortable with and not sure what to do. I want to learn more about the local culture. I love talking to locals. What I have a problem with is someone who is double my age grabbing my hand, fondling my ring finger, and asking why I’m single. What do I do to scare these men away????? I love traveling on my own. I set the pace and get to do what I want. However, two nights in a row where a man is basically trying to get in my pants while also being old enough to be my parents is disgusting to me. Any recommendations would be great!!

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/-ajrojrojro- on 2023-09-27 23:23:28.

I was going through a thread and the question was: "Men, what are some things about you that women don't know?"

Most of the answers were things like "we want to be loved" "we want a hug" "tell us you love us"

And every time I read something like that I usually scoff and think sure, you're absolutely right, but I just know that the next comment of the same person will bash feminism for it (which doesn't even make sense because it's a feminist issue - they are just uneducated and think feminism is exclusively about women. They don't understand that their inability to show vulnerability as a man is a consequence of patriarchy)

But just now I realised something I hadn't really thought about.

I was thinking about how I always feel the need to keep a distance from certain men (friends, colleagues, ...) because otherwise they will think I'm interested and start acting inappropriately. The reason we are telling our female friends that we love them and not our male friends is because women are safe to tell this to. Men aren't - some are, some aren't, and there's no way for us to know. So we usually refrain.

It would help if men started sharing those feelings with each other first.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/miaxivy on 2023-09-27 20:49:58.

15 year old girl was stabbed to death by a 17 year old boy after rejecting him.

Misogyny kills.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Exowolfe on 2023-09-27 19:42:07.

I'll preface this by saying I (27F) don't ever plan on having children so I (hopefully) will not need such accommodations. I just recently learned how sparse/sad they can be, and it really shocked me.

The other day at work I was sharing lunch with a few co-workers who have young children/infants and the topic of conversation moved onto coming back to work after maternal leave/needing to pump while at work. They started swapping horror stories about the "comfort" and "new mother" rooms they've used in order to pump while at work. Most consisted of a janitorial/storage closet, locker rooms, or just going to their car to pump. Our current work set-up is an empty office on the production floor (I work in an office in a production facility) that at least has a computer chair and lockable door but is still far from comfortable (and you have to walk by a bunch of staff to get there so it's not exactly privately located).

I was amazed to hear this passed off as the norm. I realized I have never thought about where a nursing mother would go to pump when they're clocking into their on-site 9-5 job. It sounds like an abysmal set-up and I'm sad that we treat mothers this way. I'm not expecting accommodations to be luxurious, but something above dehumanizing would be nice. Maybe a room with a sink/paper towels at least in case of a spill or if clean-up is needed? Perhaps a decoration on the walls or a magazine to cheer the place up? Nope, just go to your milk-pumping cell that doubles as storage/an office and think about what you've done. This definitely further solidified my position on never having kids.

My heart hurts for those that have to deal with this nonsense!!

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/shallah on 2023-09-27 19:15:21.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Sufficient-Ice6123 on 2023-09-27 21:17:47.

Does anyone else have an issue with letting their guard down with potential partners because you don't know if they're just trying to use you/have no serious intentions?

I'm 23 and I recently dabbled in online dating for the first time and spoke to a couple of guys on there. One of them turned out to be a huge red flag as he was in my DMs calling me cute one day, then a couple days later his new girlfriend (or I assume she's his girlfriend) posted on her birthday with a cake from him calling her 'the most precious girl' lol. It was my first time to witness this type of thing personally so it had shook me to my core to say the least, which maybe made the issue worse.

I'm closer with the other guy - I went on a date with him and we actually ended up making out. We message pretty often and he's lovely but very flirty. He talks about physical stuff a lot which makes me worry he thinks of me as an "easy" girl (although I hate that wording). I enjoy flirting with him and we get along well, when we met I felt very comfortable with him, but I feel myself holding back because I don't want him to get close to me, use me for my body and then never talk to me again. I have no evidence that he'll do that but the thought constantly lingers on my mind. I'm completely inexperienced (that date was my first ever one, and he was my first kiss) and he is aware of that, I don't want that to be taken advantage of and seen as naivety... Since we're not even exclusive and tend to have a playful dynamic, it feels so serious and out of place to talk to him about it. All these fears have kind of left me at a standstill where I like a guy, but I feel like I'm pushing him away because of these fears. I haven't spoken to him in 5 days.

It makes me worry that I'll never be able to open up to any guy because I'm scared of them having bad intentions or seeing me as just an object that is replaceable with another woman after they're done with me. Does anyone else feel this way? Or have any advice on how to deal with these kind of situations?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/metalmorian on 2023-09-27 21:04:46.

" A witness claimed on X, formally Twitter: “Little girl has been stabbed in the neck on the school run bus.”

Beldine Kutima, a receptionist at a nearby four-star hotel, told reporters: “One of our duty managers went to get the bus but she came back in total shock and was heavily crying.

“She ran back screaming and grabbed towels from the back room and ran back out there.”

Speaking at the scene on Wednesday afternoon, Metropolitan Police Chief Superintendent Andy Brittain described the killing as “every parent’s worst nightmare”.

He said: “The victim’s family has been informed and our thoughts are with them at what must be an incredibly difficult time.

“We carried out urgent inquiries to find the suspect and within 75 minutes of the incident happening a 17-year-old boy was arrested in New Addington.

“He remains in custody and will be questioned by detectives."

My heart aches for this girls parents.

Killed because she said no.

Killed because A CHILD felt entitled to her time, attention and body.

This is a result of misogyny and notably, the rise of internet misogyny led by guys like Tate and his ilk. Her blood is on the hands of every incel and misogynist who argues that girls are obligated to give boys a chance, etc etc etc. They empowered this boy to feel like saying no is a reason for a death penalty.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Professional_Suit270 on 2023-09-27 19:17:29.

It's almost like they just want to be angry at women.

For reference, the most recent data shows that 78% of Tinder users are men while just 22% are women . And that 22% includes bots, Instagram advertisers, OnlyFans models looking for new subscriptions, girls that download an account but never use it, girls that download an account but only use it to "window shop" aka look at pictures of guys but have no intention of meeting up with anyone, etc.

And the margins don't get much better elsewhere, where even on Bumble, the "female centered app" where only women can message first, 2 out of every 3 users are men .

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/caulfieldly on 2023-09-27 19:14:55.

Why is it so hard to be a woman / uterus-bearer?

I had the Paragard IUD (copper, non-hormonal) for a few years and absolutely loved it. I tend to respond very negatively to hormonal birth control, and Paragard freed me from that and more.

Well, I just had to have it taken out today because -- newsflash -- it became dislodged over time. I was developing a progressively worse infection, and my body was beginning to reject it. I had to take an ambulance over the most excruciating pain I've ever had, and still experienced all the worst parts of treatment for gyno-related troubles. I almost broke into tears when the doctor who saw me for removal treated me with more understanding that I've experienced previously in a medical setting.

I'm struggling trying to assess BC options, because I feel like I've run out of anything non-hormonal and practical. I loved the IUD for so long, but after this experience I'm afraid of complications happening again. What I went through could have led to serious damage if I wasn't able to catch it early. I just want to live a normal life and let my body regulate itself as it needs. It feels like there is so much pressure on the woman to alter herself physically for the sake of intimacy and none of the attention on men.

I feel exhausted. My husband is so sweet, understanding, and comforting, but I could hear the (subtle) sadness in his voice when I mentioned condoms again. I wish I could hand off all the side-effects to him, at least for a year, and be like, "Here! Now's your turn!"

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Punkinprincess on 2023-09-27 18:52:02.

I worry about how this post will come across but I feel like it needs to be said... I'm really glad that this subreddit exists because I often see women coming here with stories of clearly abusive husbands and they don't realize it's abuse until the comments start coming in. I love that this community exists to help women see this when they've been led to believe it is normal behavior.

But.....if you spend enough time on this subreddit then it's easy to believe that this is just how men. After spending time on this sub I end up being extremely grateful for even the tiniest things my husband does and wondering how I got so lucky to end up with someone that matches my effort. I feel like that mindset is a bit toxic and I could see myself putting up with a partner that put in half the work I put in because at least he isn't abusive.

People tend to seek advice when there are problems so I feel like this community is missing out on hearing some positives. Please share your stories of the good men in your life that treat women with respect and don't use weaponized incompetence.

I want everyone to know that good men exist, you deserve one, and you do not need to put up with this bullshit.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/throwmeaway03827 on 2023-09-27 18:44:48.

My ADHD husband either gets extremely angry and says hurtful things when we’re in a disagreement or he’ll completely shut down and not speak to me for a whole day.

I have anxiety and an anxious attachment, but I try everyday to work on it. We recently had an argument and he texted me after and said he needed space for the rest of the day and stopped talking to me, but then the next day acted like all was well.

We spoke about it and he says it’s my job to deal with my anxiety which I totally agree but the issue is that nothing is ever resolved or fixed unless I come back to him and start the discussion. It goes:

Argument….Extreme anger…yelling things he doesn’t mean OR complete silence for a day….then back to normal like nothing happened.

There’s no resolve or communication about the issue that happened unless I initiate and even then I’ll just speak about how I’m feeling he gets super angry again. There’s no way to communicate with him.

I’m so tired of feeling like asking to have a healthy communication is like pulling teeth. He says it’s better that he shuts down cause the alternative is him getting angry and saying things he doesn’t mean.

But the main issue is that he gets defensive and has anger problems. His RSD is out of control. He refuses meds and just smokes weed so much so that he admits it’s an addiction. I’m in individual therapy and he used to be, but stopped going. My therapist recommended couples counseling but I feel like he’s just going to manipulate the counselor or “be good” for them and I’m gonna end up looking like the problem.

For context: We went to pick up our groceries and they left out some our items. The worker that dropped them off raised his voice at my husband and that’s when he started taking it out on me. Before we go in to the store he says “let ME do the talking” I went to the trunk and told him to write down the items we were missing and he said “it’s more efficient if we write down what we have instead” and I was like “no just write down what’s missing” because then we could be sure we wouldn’t leave without what was missing after they hopefully brought it out and he goes “fine we’ll do it YOUR way” and we get in there and I asked which desk he thought to go to and he said “idk this is all you since you want to be in charge” and then just stopped talking to me.

We actually had a conversation afterwards about what happened and he said that he took control of the situation because he saw me “shrinking in my seat and getting anxious, but if I feel like my anxiety is getting better and I can handle more situations then I can by all means do that”. But I wasn’t anxious at all during the grocery thing. I only started to get upset when he said “let ME do the talking” and raised his voice. I feel like he’s manipulating me. And I just need some 3rd party advice.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Heytherevovo on 2023-09-27 18:06:17.

I constantly see posts on here about how everyone who is fit is above average or even how all thin people are conventionally attractive. I’m fit/thin at a bmi of 19 but unfortunately my face is just ugly. I have chubby cheeks despite being skinny, a long face, and a wide jaw. No amount of weight loss is going to change that, especially if it still looks bad at my current healthy bmi. I even posted on a face rating sub and got a handful of people recommending weight loss advice despite me very obviously being thin in the photos. Granted it was the minority but it was still bizarre that people recommended it all. I even saw a thin girl on tiktok with an unattractive face also get told weight loss advice despite being obviously thin. When I posted just the photos of my body everyone said it was above average yet when I showed my face that’s when the weightloss advice began. Is it that hard for people to think that someone could just have bad looking facial features?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Madame_President_ on 2023-09-27 16:16:06.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/fluffy_doughnut on 2023-09-27 15:13:57.

Body "positivity" made me question myself, I started thinking that things I didn't pay attention to are wrong and ugly. "Your stretch marks are beautiful!" I've heard and realised that I have them and that some people consider them ugly. Wow. "Tall girls are beautiful!". Oh, so they aren't actually?

We should start a "body normality" movement or whatever. A body is just a body, it has its functions. IT JUST IS. I don't want anybody telling me that my knees, pimples, body hair, scars, elbows are beautiful. They just exist!!! Let them exist!!!

Pimples are not beautiful and I know it, I feel like a child when someone tells me that I should accept my pimples because they're pretty, no they're not, but they don't define me as a person and I don't pay any attention to them. Acne scars are not pretty, they're just there on my face. I bet that most people wouldn't even think about these things if there weren't other people convincing them with false positivity that they're awesome.

Also, it's mostly about women. Can you imagine telling men "Hey bro, your balding head is beautiful! Bald heads are beautiful!". Or "Today is hairy backs acceptance day, let's appreciate the hair on our backs! It's beautiful, we're beautiful!". It's. Just. Hair.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/JonquilCary on 2023-09-27 14:21:45.

I have noticed a shift in my thinking in the last couple years that is starting to bother me more and more.

Just by being on the internet, I feel like I am constantly exposed to things about men being generally awful to women. Weaponized incompetence, leaving women to bear the brunt of child rearing and the mental load, sexual harassment and violence, laws limiting our access to reproductive care/abortions, belittling or disregarding our experiences, entire religions focused on subjugating women, women's complaints being ignored in healthcare settings, the list goes on.

I find myself regularly expecting or thinking the worst of men. Maybe it's the guy at the gas station who I feel is being creepy but he's just getting gas, or watching a young family at the grocery store and mom is corralling the kids while dad blissfully is along for the ride, noticing at large family functions its the women who eat last and get up first to clean up, interpreting interactions with my male industry peers as disrespectful.

Even when I am watching a show/movie or reading a book, I spot negative behavior from the male characters and it sours it for me. For awhile if news came out about an artist or actor about them being general shitbags, I have an aversion to any media they put out, etc.

It's frustrating for me bc I am not a hateful person at all and I know a lot of wonderful men in my life. My husband is amazing and very much equally shares the mental load/kids/work, has never treated me as anything different than a whole person first, cried with me when RvW was overturned. My BIL is the same way with my sister, my dad and stepdad both have had always been my supporters and never made my sister or me feel like we couldn't do something because we're girls. I have friends with equally as adjusted and contributing partners and my husband and BIL.

I have no lack of examples of loving, kind men around me but I still have this constant and nagging feeling that "men suck" and I can't help but notice the most minute details of patriarchy and sexism affecting things around me.

I logically understand that this is a long standing societal and cultural issue and that any one individual is a sum of their experiences, and large changes are difficult to come about and maintain but that just feels like a cop out excuse to keep the staus quo and just ignore the very real and legitimate suffering women face daily.

I've considered a media diet, but that just feels like cognitive dissonance now that the veil has been pulled back for me. Idk, maybe I just needed to scream into the void or hear other people's feelings on the subject.

Tldr: I don't want to automatically dislike or think the worst of men, but don't know how to not feel that way in face of the constant exposure to adversities women face daily.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/seccosdumpster on 2023-09-27 14:14:49.

I moved to a new house recently and made the mistake of being polite to my neighbors. I would think I would have learned my lesson after the 90 other times old men harassed me, but unfortunately I thought better of his waving and politeness and shrugged it off. The fact that I didn't immediately tell him to kill himself upon first glance made him feel like he was in a Hallmark movie.

The situation escalated when my sibling traveled abroad for a month, with gradually increasing incidences of bullshit like:

• My neighbor stopping me every time I walk to and from my home, which became a nuisance as I go home for lunch and dinner
• Constantly demanding that I get food with him or go to the store with him and asking if I think he's a creep if I said no
• Very obviously following me with his car and "happening to run into me" and demanding to give me a ride
• Insisting that the 0.2 mile walk to my workplace is unsafe and that he should drive me
• Questioning me whenever a friend pulls into my driveway or I accept a ride from other people -- it's almost like they're the same age as me!
• Removing packages and grocery deliveries even though i was sitting and waiting for them so that he could force me to go to his house and talk to him
• Leaves unwanted items, typically clothing but including a rose bear, a heart-shaped jewelry holder, and a bag of underwear
• Admitted that he has watched me walk by through the windows (for months now) because he's amazed such a beautiful woman lives here
• Oh, and not an incident, but I'm 20 and he's OVER 60!!!!

I never wanted any association with him due to past abuse but he took advantage of my politeness to achieve total consent: a "no, no, no, NO, fine." I finally snapped after I relented to going to the grocery store with him, came home to be told "thanks for the date", and received a bag of fancy underwear and the other items along with clothing later that night. I've adjusted my route to sneak through an adjoining complex but I've generally avoided leaving the house. He's knocked several times a day and attempted to use the doorknob each time on both doors.

That brings me to tonight. I've avoided him for about 10 days. I was generally content to leave the lights off and live in the dark. I didn't brief my sibling on this and they immediately turned lights on and powered on noisy appliances after I snuck them back home. Right afterward, a car parks in my driveway and loud scuffling noises go on for a while outside. He beats on the door and attempts to open it several times, aggressively rattling the doorknob.

I wasn't interested in calling the police but my sibling immediately reacted by calling. I was uneasy about being sighted, so I hid while they handled the police report. He left furniture and clothing on the porch and attempted to enter -- AT 10PM!! In a few hours now, a police officer will drive by the neighbor's house and deliver a No Trespass order. I'm considering converting an old smartphone into a camera since I'm uncertain about whether he'll comply. I'm sitting in the bathtub now because I'm not visible from windows. Not sure if he owns guns. LOL so fun.

Honestly, I don't know if I need any advice. I had spoken about this situation on a throwaway a while back and the advice I was given motivated me to nip this situation in the bud. I think he's so demanding about helping me because he wants to use it as a tool to guilt me into future interactions -- and it worked for a while! But I'm honestly traumatized by previous situations with old men and I don't want to even be "friends".

PLEASE trust your gut, though. I let this shit get way too far and I'm probably going to have a lot of issues with my other neighbors as a result. He thinks he's entitled to me now, and I can't help but wonder if this would be happening if I ignored the innocuous waves and chitchat to begin with. Please trust your gut. You don't owe anyone anything.

One question actually -- is this the kind of thing travel needs to be cancelled over?? I have a weeklong trip in about 10 days. I'm going to have a petsitter come to and from my house through the backyard -- same discreet route I've been using. I'm starting to wonder if I'll come home and find an ajar door and a bunch of decapitated pets with the way this guy is acting, though -- not to mention the danger to my petsitter... I'm sick with anxiety about that. IDK what to do about that. I have some dowels I'm going to cut to secure my windows, but...

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/mycatrulesthehouse on 2023-09-27 14:08:38.

That’s it…just the title. Stop making yourselves vulnerable to ending up broke, alone and homeless. As the now adult child of a woman who put herself and by extension her children in this position, stop!

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Crazy_by_Design on 2023-09-27 12:11:15.

Yesterday, I learned that most states allow groups of students to perform internal pelvic exams on unconscious women who did not consent.

They go in for surgery, and it happens while they’re sill under anesthesia. They are usually never told.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/tokyomew1 on 2023-09-27 11:05:42.

So some context : I'm in a very happy and healthy relationship with my 21 year old bf. After dating awhile we've been sexually active at his place (his mom knows and doesn't care). Been doing this for months and somehow my parents found out..(I'm guessing they saw my car at his place).

My parents are hispanic, conservative and religious Christians. So my mom made a huge deal out of this. She started crying, calling me a slut, saying I'm a dissapointment and embarrassment to the family. It honestly broke my heart because my biggest fear was to be a dissapointment to my parents. She continued to say that I'm a horrible human being along with my bf for having the audacity to have sex before marriage. That she hopes he leaves me for a pure woman because I am a filthy whore turns out. She ends by saying she'll never see me the same and won't be kicking me out, that she'll happily be there for me when my relationship with my bf ends. It's been 2 days and I can't look at my parents without breaking down.

I'm honestly really hurt by this. My biggest fear was being a dissapointment and here my mother is just confirming it. Any advice or thoughts are appreciated

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/newcamper1234 on 2023-09-27 12:13:32.

Hi all! Women out there with ADHD: what were your signs and symptoms? I know they say that it shows up differently in many ways for females versus males. What strategies helped you feel successful in school? What age did you know something was different for you? I'm trying to help our elementary school daughter and feeling a little lost!

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/MeowieCatty on 2023-09-27 08:46:48.

Idk, I am feeling hurt and upset right now and idk when this feeling will go away. I (24f) have been friends with a guy (26m) for 10 years now. He lives across the continent, I am Canadian, and he is American for context. He told me when I was 14 that he had a huge crush on me. I let him know that I thought he was a great guy, but I was not interested in him that way. He was sad, but backed off for a few months

Once he got a decent paying job, he started sending me gifts. I let him know while I appreciated the gifts, I was still not interested in him romantically and did not need anything more. I valued him as a friend, but was still not interested in anything beyond that, and did not see a future where I would be interested.

He ended up coming to visit in 2019. He really tried to win me over on that trip. He bought me gifts and would butt ahead to pay for things before I could. I told him I didn't need gifts and could pay for my own things. I did not want to lead him on and was not interested in anything beyond friendship. I was frustrated with him as he was sad about that and seemed to still be trying to win me, but he went home shortly after.

After his trip he got a girlfriend. He told me he was in love, wanted to get married, and have a life together. They had been dating over a year at this point. I was happy he found someone and happy he moved on. We have a larger friend group, and I had stepped back from most of the discord servers and group game nights he was in. I was glad I could play with the group as a whole without leading him on. I was happy I could be his friend without feeling like somehow basic kindness was leading him on. He is very close friends with one of my brothers, and wanted to introduce her to us, so he started planning a trip. I was ok with this as he had a gf who he claimed to be madly in love with.

About 6 months ago I told him I was bi. He at first was super chill, then asked if I was interested joining his relationship. His gf was pan and poly, but willing to be mono for her partner if they wanted mono. I said no, I was not interested in a relationship, nor was I poly. The idea of a threesome was floated as sex can just be fun and no relationship attached. I said no. I did not want any form of intimate relationship. A little while later he mentioned him and his gf having relationship issues as she really wanted to experience being with a woman and was interested in me, and it could make their relationship stronger if we had a threesome or me and her hooked up. I said hard no to the threesome, I did not want to have sex with him. I also said no to sex with her as I do not feel comfortable sleeping with his gf, or anyone's gf. I told him again I do not want any type of romantic or intimate relationship.

The two of them broke up. He said it was her commitment issues and her wanting to be with a girl. She was dating a man a month after she moved out from his place.he booked a trip to visit and asked if he could have a date with me. I said no. He kept asking for a date. I said no. He started showering me with gifts. I said no. He told a bunch of mutual friends I wanted the bf experience without actually dating him. I told him no again and that I was pissed after I told him no for a decade he still thought I was interested in him, and now I have been slandered to the point some mutual friends are calling me a bitch and saying I'm using him. I stopped replying to anything private and only talked to him in public group chats. I told him I didn't feel comfortable being around him if he was going to constantly objectify and then throw a fit when I don't decide to date him. That was the last one on one convo we had. He messaged my Mom after and asked if she knew why his best friend (me) just ghosted him while he was struggling. She told him the fact he still couldn't get over me was overwhelming. I had a right to say no, and he needed to respect me. I needed space from him as I was feeling harassed and objectified, and he was making me feel attacked whenever he brought up a relationship.

He decided to still come visit for 2 weeks. He made a comment the week he was leaving for our city about how one of my guy friends tried to steal the last two girls he talked to after his breakup and now was chatting me up. I told him I was allowed to have guy friends and that he is allowed to talk to me and the other women in the friend groups. He then later made a comment about how once he was here I would be batting my eyelashes at him and flirting. I said no. I was not fucking interested in him. I would not be fucking flirting with him. If he tried this shit in person I would just not see him. I was pissed and reemed him out, and left the group call as he was defending himself and asking if I was ok and why I was lashing out.

He got here, and for the first couple of hours was fine. I always had my Dad or brother near me. When we got home he instantly started flirting and telling me how beautiful I was. I froze up, my Dad changed the topic and deflected for me. After that I finished the evening plans I had with him and my brothers, then decided to be true to my word and refuse to speak to him or see him again during his trip. I muted him on all socials. He managed to find my reddit by remembering posts I mentioned enjoying, and finding the common commenter. So I blocked him here. I told one of my brothers everything he said, my other brother asked not to know details as he didn't want to lose a whole friend group over my drama. Now I'm at a loss. I either drop out of that friend group with no explanation, tell them the truth that one of their close inner circle friends is at this point harassing me and let it blow up, which would piss off one of my brothers, or deal with being around him and just let myself be objectified.

I am so done with guys. He gets so angry about "nice guys" too. How can he not see he is doing that to me? Does he see and just not care? Why did it take me so long to figure out I didn't deserve to be harassed?