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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/CoffeeCakeGod on 2023-10-04 14:47:56.

My best friend, cait, and I play videogames together over discord pretty much every other night, usually her, myself, and two of my friends in a party. She has a boyfriend, we'll call Edgar, who tags along. They have been dating 2 months, talking for 5 months.

Edgar constantly makes these pointed jokes to me and my friend. Cait is hard of hearing so he'll say things like "wow, you'd think you couldn't hear." If she misses a call out. I'll stream for her if she's doing work but still wants to see game play for something. Hes always near her and doesn't like my desktop icon arrangement I'll hear him say "wow, I feel like I'm in a pigpen looking at your screen" over her mic.

Cait's told me it makes her feel kind of bad bc she hears his jokes constantly, but he says he "bonds" with people over jokes because they "know he doesn't mean anything by them."

That last part is where I get confused. No one laughs at them, we usually just tell him to shut up and move on. She's explained to him that she has anxiety over her hearing and hates the "joke" because it makes her more paranoid she's missing things, but he continues to make the jokes because his intention isn't to hurt her and she needs to 'get used to' his banter.

I love roasting people and banter, I truly do, but none of the shit he says is ever actually funny. It's more annoying than anything. Constantly saying the same jokes to no one, not even him, doing anything more than a forced laugh. He'll smirk, that's about it.

Here is my active question, how would you go about having a conversation about this with him? I don't think he's unreasonable, I think he has very little friends and his socialization has revolved around these awkward ass jokes. Him and his friends obviously joke about each other's insecurities with these lame "wow [insert joke]" one liner formats. They talk/get together (according to him) maybe once a month so perhaps they think it's fresh and hilarious everytime. It''s mind numbing. He keeps saying he is a roast master, but is "holding off" until we're "used to his humor." I wish he'd make an actual fucking roast so maybe we'd laugh for once.

Neither of us want to react with anger or accusations, but seriously question if approaching this with calmness and empathy will actually change anything bc she said she already did. She's hoping if I say something too, that Edgar will realize she's not just "being sensitive." I thought about saying "what's funny about that" every time he makes one of these jokes to have him seriously explain but he'd probably make another joke saying "you just don't get peak comedy." Other option was all of us starting to roast him for his jokes, but that seems wrong and alienating bc we would be doing it out of spite. Yes, normally I'd say she should handle it since it's her relationship but he's bringing it into my life and friend group too. Plus she's my bestie of 12 years so

Reddit, wwyd

Tldr; My girls man is goofy asf but thinks he's the next Matt Rife for making jokes about people in the format of "Wow, [insert observation or joke]." How would you convince him to cut back or get new material while realizing joking about my friends insecurities isn't the knee slapper he thinks it is?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/difficultlife on 2023-10-04 17:40:58.

When my parents were going through a divorce, my dad barely any effort to keep with visitations, follow through on parental duties, and avoid paying child support. Regarding visitations, he never made effort to pick me up or endure I was at his place on time. He believed that I should "want to be there" and that I should see him whenever I want, regardless of what the visitation agreement was.

Anyways, years later I talked to him about the divorce, and he firmly believed that because I had a minimal "desire" to ever see him, he thought that my mom was alienating me away from him. This is the same man who when I did visit him unprompted, would be caught off-guard when I did stop by, did not have anything planned for me to do, and would send me back home.

If he genuinely wanted to have a relationship with me as his daughter, he would have made the effort to ensure he had enough visitations, planned for me to be there, and given me my own space if I were to do overnights. Instead, he complained to the courts that my mother was prohibiting me from seeing him, when he was the one not making any effort to see his daughter.

Is it common for men to whine about not being able to be fathers to everyone around them, while simultaneously making no effort to be a father? Luckily the courts were able to see past his crocodile tears, but I worry that there can be a few judges who might fall for it, especially how men believe that they are far less likely to get custody agreements and are unfairly discriminated against. When in reality, the reason why there are far less men who don't have full or equal custody is because they genuinely suck at being a dad.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Alecto_Moonbat on 2023-10-04 16:41:11.

I know that there are women out there in a variety of shitty situations who depend on hidden means of communication for their safety, and having that phone suddenly go off out of nowhere could have catastrophic consequences. Please help me spread the word :) ❤️

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/xsadfairy483x on 2023-10-04 12:31:07.

Is anyone else just not having any luck? My most recent meet up went terribly wrong. It's been hard for me to get over it. I met up with a guy at his place. He wasn't upfront about what he wanted out of this interaction; however, from the vibes he was giving off, it seemed like he was interested. It seemed like he had a good heart compared to the rest of the guys I had gone on dates with.

Boy, was I wrong.

He cooked me dinner, talked to me all night long (We even put on a movie, and didn't pay attention! We were too busy getting to know each other.) It was the first time that I felt safe with someone in a very, very long time. Before meeting him, I had been assaulted. We cuddled. He talked to me about his family, his friends, even went as far as hinting that I might be able to meet them one day. I asked when he wanted me to leave the next day, because I didn't want to be the person that overstayed their welcome. He told me, word for word, "You can absolutely be that person. I've been that person before. You can stay as long as you want."

Then, I noticed that in his main bedroom bathroom there was a large, opened makeup bag. Before coming over, he told me that his bathroom light wasn't working. He urged me to use the other bathroom, I told him it was fine and used it anyway since it was closer than the guest bathroom. That's when I seen it. There were other items in the house that he claimed were either gifted to him by his Mom or sister that "lived right down the street".

I got a bad feeling and tried to ignore it. The next day, he told me to leave at 1pm. Something in my gut told me that something was wrong. A package was delivered to his place, and he walked up to the door and looked through the peephole; looking absolutely petrified. I wondered why he was so nervous. Now I know. Before leaving, he said he wanted to see me again, and that he enjoyed hanging out with me. Kissed me before I left his place, asked me to text him when I got home so he knew I was safe. Then, within the next few days, his personality completely changed. He wasn't interested anymore. He had gotten what he wanted out of me. Sex. He eventually told me that he didn't want to see me anymore. I told him the same.

I got into contact with one of his friends about the makeup bag. I knew if I was the girlfriend, I would want to know if my partner was cheating on me. I politely asked if he had a girlfriend, and his friend told me, "I don't want to share any of his personal information." That's all I needed to hear. Honestly, it just broke my heart. I had been on so many dates with so many people that I didn't feel a connection with, and the one I finally felt something with, had another person on the side.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/silenciocilantro on 2023-10-04 13:57:54.

Posting this feels embarrassing, but I don’t really feel much of anything anymore. Pretty much, my ex, the love of my life, dumped me because of family disapproval. I feel like throwing up constantly. I keep waking up at 3, 4am. His face, voice linger in my memory.

It’s a type of torture, to be in this state. Of knowing your perfect life together, just around the corner, was an illusion. Fuck this.

Please, help me. How, if possible, can i get over this?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/MT722 on 2023-10-04 14:31:42.

Hi, I(F22) went to the OB Gyn for concerns down there after my hemorrhoidectomy (infection, either yeast, UTI or BV, since my butt's been leaking fluids post op and maybe that's what's caused me to have inflamed, itchy urethra and vag with cheesy-textured discharge). The ObGyn looked like she was probably in her 50s, and she's most likely used to only having visits from pregnant women (and rarely for other concerns). It's...actually quite common public knowledge here that only pregnant women go to the public OB-Gyn, so if you go there and your not preggers there could be some judgement. Anything sex-related [vocalized] is still pretty much taboo so that says a lot, I guess. Thus, most women probably just go to private clinics to avoid gossip, or try to deal with the problems themselves at home.

• For extra context: Our public hospitals offer free health care. We just have to wait in line in the OPD for check-ups, and since not a lot can really afford specialist care, there's always a long line. I couldn't afford a private clinic, so I went there. The line was long enough that I arrived at 8am and got the see the doctor at 3pm.

Once I got in her office, I voiced my concerns, and she asked the standard questions. They were quite fast paced so I matched it, and I was a tad nervous, especially since she looked quite strict. I said a hesitant "yes" to the question. I didn't know if answers other than yes or no are acceptable. Now I'm thinking maybe I should've given a "not often" answer. I've only had my first time the month before, really. And while I do masturbate, I don't put more than two fingers in there so I'm still not used to being stretched, especially not at once

Afterwards, she had me lie down in the bed She put on her gloves and put her finger in without hesitation; started poking around inside, turning. She was kind of a bit rough with it, I felt her kind of digging in, and it was quite a big finger. I heard a soft scold from her, "just relax yourself", cuz I must've automatically tensed lol.

The day after, I was checking out my butt wound with a hand mirror, and since there was still a bit of stinging feeling from my vag, I checked that out too and saw a tear...

It's not really a cause for concern, the tear was small. Just about 4 milimeters long. But it did cause discomfort for a couple days.

Does that happen often from ObGyn visits and check ups, and I'm just getting worked up about a normal occurence? I feel like I don't want to be checked again so soon tho...

TLDR: I had my first OBGyn visit, but she must've thought I was [very] sexually active so she was a bit rough with me, and I got a tear.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/butterchickengoddess on 2023-10-04 14:14:29.

For the past 5 years, I’ve been dealing with someone who has pathologically lied, manipulated, gaslit, and abused me. The actual story feels like it’s out of a true crime podcast so I’ll spare the details here.

2 weeks ago, I filed for a restraining order that was denied ex-parte. The hearing was yesterday. He brought a lawyer and they tried so hard to discredit me and minimize all of this into a “messy breakup”. The judge deliberated on his decision for an hour, but I GOT IT!!!

The judge did get one detail wrong so we’ll see what happens with that, but for now, I feel so relieved. It’s almost as if someone was constricting my airways and I can finally breathe now. Since the day I decided to file for a restraining order, I’ve wanted justice. Justice for what he did to me and what he did to other women.

Now we heal.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Dry_Bus_8457 on 2023-10-04 10:32:12.

One of my friends is homeless. She isn't living on the streets, between a few of our friends (and parents ofc) she is living in guest rooms and spare beds.

Her mum decided to move across the country and friend didn't want to join her so she stayed and her mum just left her when she was 16.

Considering the circumstances, she is in a decent position. She did fail her first year of college as everything was going on but she restarted and did very well for herself, she's in her last year of college now and has had this dream to go into a particular career. One of our friends parents that do have a bit of money have offered to give her 5 grand a year in installments, no questions asked if she wants to go to university. We are in the UK so she will get the 8 grand living allowance and probably other bursaries on top of the loan. She would be stupid not to take this offer.

However I know she is also actively trying to get pregnant. She really wants kids and always had and now thinks this is her time. She is going to go for council housing and in her defence does have actual plans on making it work. But its literally just making it work. Her boyfriend is also completely useless so I can see him running as soon as it gets hard, he is also encouraging her towards the baby route.

I think she feels bad for taking and this is her way of getting out. I know she wants to go to uni and get this career, but its all of a sudden being dropped to the side.

I'm trying to be nice about the whole situation, but there is nothing I would like to do more then slap her and force her to go to university. I know its completely her choice but if I were in her shoes, even if I didnt want to go to uni I would go anyway just for the opportunities. At the very least find someone with money while at uni who you like who wants a SAHM as a partner instead of the literal most useless man you have ever met.

What would you do in this situation to help her or am I too invested in her and need to slow down and let her make these decisions by herself?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/AffectOutrageous6667 on 2023-10-04 12:04:20.

I have small titties and I used to be very self conscious about it so I wore push up bras that made them look at least 3 times bigger than they actually are. It took me a loving relationship and some self acceptance to stop doing that and now I barely wear any bras and the less padding the better.

Was just wondering if other ladies went through a phase like this.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/5T6Rf6ut on 2023-10-04 08:27:08.

I recently got promoted at work. Unfortunately some of the higher ups assumed I would keep doing certain unpaid labor that was never in my job description and doesn't fall neatly into anyone's role. My new position is a lot busier and more stressful. In the old position, those extra tasks were things that gave me a reason to get away from my desk, broke up my day, etc. I found some of the extra work interesting. In order words, while it's unpaid labor, it had personal benefits - one of the biggest being that I got to know some of my closest work friends through various roles I took on (committees and such).

As I've transitioned into my new job, those pieces don't fit the same way they used to, and my new role is different enough that I no longer need the personal satisfaction or distraction that the extra stuff was giving me. So I have drastically scaled back my involvement.

Here's the problem: no one has stepped up to take my place, because it's not in anyone's job description. So one woman in particular, an incredibly gifted admin who could run circles around most of our colleagues if that's what she wanted from her career, had picked up 90-95% of the slack. She's someone who I became friends with through this extra work, and she was already involved with a lot of it, but now she's doing twice as much (and it's still not reflected in her pay or position description). I had pushed in the past to get these things documented or institutionalized and was told it could lead to a pay decrease for people because it's not seen as substantive - yet they insist it needs to happen and pressure lower level employees to volunteer to take it on.

My new supervisor mentioned in passing that he's fine with me continuing to "volunteer" but I declined, as it no longer fits into my schedule. Since then I've had to draw the boundary with a lot of people who are nowhere in my supervisory chain but just expect me to do unpaid work on their behalf. Many are not as understanding as my supervisor fortunately was.

But the point of this post is my admin friend, the one who got stuck with all the slack. She is angry with me for stepping back. And I understand, because it's really not fair to her that she's stuck with everything now. We had a conversation early on and I tried to explain my perspective and encouraged her to draw her own boundaries, to say no, to let things that aren't in her job description fail. She's refused to speak to me since then. It makes me so sad, because I really valued our friendship, and I see our employer taking advantage of her, and there's nothing I can do about it. I'm not in her chain of command (totally different department and would never have gotten to know her outside these committees), and the company is totally clear that this isn't work that belongs tied to someone's position. It's BS.

I feel like I haven't been very articulate, but I needed to vent.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/tryingdandelion on 2023-10-04 11:42:09.

I’ll start!

My worst date ever started by finding out the man I was meeting was WAY shorter than me, which would be fine if he hadn’t lied about his height. So we sit down outside an icecream shop on a VERY hot day and I’m sweating off my makeup and this guy just WILL NOT let me talk, so it’s going pretty shit.

A homeless man with a guitar approaches us. He says we’re a cute couples and asks if he can sing us a song. My date says yes despite me silently begging him not to because I DO NOT have change to pay this guy if he asks. The man proceeded to play a 4min love song at us while we smile and nod along without saying a single word. I’m dying inside.

We say thank you, great song! The man begins another one. My date encourages it. We sit there silently for another two songs and by the time they end the poor guy starts BAWLING, like sobbing and hyperventilating. I get up so he can sit down because he legit looks like he’s in pain, and he proceeds to look at my date (who’s still seated) and tell him how his life derailed after his wife passed away and how she loved that song. I honestly felt really bad for him. My date started asking him more questions about his life (i think he forgot about me?) so I went to buy guitar dude icecream. When I came back I went ahead and told my date I needed to go home so I could work on my thesis.

So uh. Honestly thank you mr guitar man for stealing Gus from tinder away. Hope you guys had fun after I left 😭

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/xloatmilklatte on 2023-10-04 07:00:34.

I was 16 and he was between 20-24, I don’t recall the exact age. None of my friends made a big deal about it. I didn’t tell my parents only because he was black. I didn’t even think about your repercussions of them being in their 20s. I think about this now and I realize that I was literally underage and didn’t know better & that they really had the audacity. I’m 32 now and this was back in 2007/2008. I don’t know if this kind of shit just happened more back then or what but it pisses me off. I don’t know why I didn’t think this through until I was an adult.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/babe__ruthless on 2023-10-04 02:31:12.

My ex (32M) and I (33F) were dating for around 6 months. Our relationship was mostly perfect and healthy, no real major issues. We got along well and are both mature but the one difference is he’s very right leaning and I can’t reconcile that.

Today he was watching a Russel Brand YouTube video and I got annoyed as there have been SA/rape allegations that came out recently about him. I will always side with the survivors but he said he’s able to separate him and his personal life because “everyone” in the media, politics and all celebrities have skeletons in their closet and it’s exhausting to keep up. He’s also a conspiracy theorist and believes the media lies to us and uses Russel Brand as his “news source”. I understand he cites what he is talking about but he is still a nutcase imo and I can’t get over the fact that he supports him and agrees with him.

Regardless, his political views and opinions are directly opposite of mine and we had an argument and I ended things because I don’t see things changing. I told him I would prefer to date someone that is more feminist and understands how the patriarchy operates.

I know I made the right decision but it still hurts because he IS a good guy. But he seems to be brainwashed by right wing media and conspiracies and I can’t continue a relationship with someone like that.

I guess I need reassurance that I did in fact do the right thing. :(

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Foxx_tails on 2023-10-04 05:24:24.

I've seen the uptick in bra-related posts lately and thought I'd add my own story because this is driving me nuts. For the record, I have b-cups and I love going braless because I really don't need much support, but I do wear ahesive nip covers for modesty. While I've been visiting my parents, my mother has had a hawk eye for every single time I haven't worn a bra, and even though the the girls don't move much, I've been told they should be secured in a bra because they "shouldn't show any movement at all." As if a bra fully stops all sizes of boobs from jiggling and tiddies aren't just flesh bags prone to the force of gravity???

After not giving into wearing a bra for the duration of my visit, my mother brought out the gold line of "not wearing a bra like that and having your boobs out on display will make men think they can just whip their junk out" because according to her, not wearing a bra while I'm wearing a baggy men's t-shirt is the same thing as having a full penis on display. I'm genuinely appalled. Since I lost weight, no man has even looked at my small boobs, so her fixation on how I must be attracting all this sexual attention is completely delulu.

This is the same woman who told me purity shaming WOMEN ONLY was "necessary and normal" in society to prevent unwanted pregnancies 🤦‍♀️ what is wrong with older women and their their fixations on boobs and blatant sexism??

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Background_Scholar99 on 2023-10-04 01:14:47.

In your own house because some weirdo might just post it all over reddit. Because god forbid you hang bras up to dry in your laundry room.

This is a contractor who posted that. I really wish I could contact that customer and let them know.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Faerie_Nuff on 2023-10-04 01:09:39.

What the title says. I admit I probably don't tidy as well as he does, but I'm the one who does the tidying generally speaking. On the rare occassion he does, he puts stuff in brand new places, and then when I ask where said stuff is, he can't remember where he's put them, and gets angry and accusatory saying I'm assuming he's moved it, why can't it be me who moved it?

I'll admit, of course there have been a couple of times I've put something down and can't remember where I put it, I'm only human. But I mean every single time he has "a tidy up" stuff is not in the place it's supposed to be, the usual place it lives. And frankly, I at least know my regular spots if I ever can't find something in its usual spot. It's a last resort if I have to ask him where something is, and happens far too often after he's "tidied".

For example, one year at Christmas was the only time he put the Christmas decorations/tree etc away (I was too ill at the time). All the "special" tree decorations go into a particular bag, which goes into a box with the rest of the baubles. That bag went missing the one year he put stuff away. He then got angry with me about it. I found them a few months ago and have put them where they're supposed to be. I still remember doing that, and where they are. I don't know why he doesn't remember where he puts stuff like that, it feels like he's not really paying attention to where things go, more just that they're out of sight and therefore "tidy".

Another example, I quit smoking recently and bought a vape. I kept the small box along with other relevent bits and bobs, in a small storage box that lives atop the microwave. I had need for the first time, for the charger that came with the box. The box was nowhere to be found. However the little bits and bobs box was still atop the microwave. I asked him if he could remember where he put it, but was met with the same anger (of course I just assumed it was him - not an assumption, I distinctly remember where I kept stuff, and I'm not the one who randomly decides to reorganise systems that's have worked just fine for years). Surprise surprise he later found it in a place I can't reach, so had to admit it was him who moved it (although couldn't provide a reason as to why he moved it in the first place).

The one that has really upset me, and why I write this post, is a suitcase. This particular suitcase had my late grandma's clothes in it. I very, very rarely open it as it has her smell, which I'm sure sounds odd, but I hope others who have experienced immense grief understand. It's something reserved only for when I'm feeling really low, so I can go smell her for comfort. My mum left when I was very little, and my grandma looked after me p much every holiday etc and aside my big sister is the closest thing I've had to a mum.

A few months ago, I reorganised the loft conversion as it's become quite overgrown with storage and random stuff and my LL is trying to sell the house atm. Well apparently my partner didn't think the pictures would look good enough with the boxes on the side of the room I'd left them on, so decided to rearrange my hard work. Well tonight I noticed this particular suitcase was above the wardrobe we have in there, and not inside it as it had always been. I also noticed it was open. My heart instantly sank, all the more when I open it up to see maybe 2 items of grandma's in there (that just about still have her smell), and the rest is crap that my LL left up there, like 18th birthday cards and stuff I couldn't give a monkeys about.

I text my other half to have a good old think if he couldn't remember where the contents of the suitcase may be, as the only logical conclusion is that he decided the suitcase would be better used for storing their old crap, rather than what I assume he assumed was just some old clothes. Alas, he got home a few minutes ago and shock horror, is angry at me for daring to "accuse" him of moving the stuff.

Unless I am truly bat shit mental, there is no way in all of hell freezing over that I removed the contents of that suitcase, then placed it, open, above the wardrobe, in full view of the skylight where all worlds of sun damage could happen to it.

He genuinely doesn't ever remember moving stuff, that's one thing. But the way he gets angry at me whenever I ask him if he can remember where he moved stuff to, just hurts and feels like Im on my own trying to find sometimes the simplest of things, like my vape charger. Needle in a haystack. I don't understand why he gets so annoyed with me, why he can't just be more mindful with where he puts stuff, why he can't remember where he puts stuff, and I often don't understand why he feels the need to move my stuff in the first place.

I'm so hurt rn, mainly because I'm reliving a whole lotta grief from when I lost my gran, and fear I've lost her smell forever - as weird as I'm sure that sounds, I just can't explain the grief I feel right now.

I'm so sorry for such a long post, and for not really knowing where to post this other than here. I'll probably delete this, as I'm sure this is just a way for me to process the grief I'm feeling rn.

Anyone else have a partner like this? Can anyone else relate? Would anyone else like to wallow in self pity with me?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Any_Stranger1975 on 2023-10-04 02:01:48.

This man wanted me so bad. At the end of the date (where I said maybe 4 words besides Mmm, yeah, wow, sounds so cool)

He says

Look. I'm gonna be honest. You're a 10/10 for looks.

But with your bone structure,

You're gonna age like SHIT.

That's my fave negging line, drop yours! -------

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/stay_beautiful_you on 2023-10-04 01:21:50.

As a black woman, I have been dealing with this my whole life (37 years old), where my speech is proper and very bubbly. Sometimes it’s very nerdy, geeky, and upbeat.

I have always received mean and harassing comments from black people like: “You’re black girl. You better start acting your color”. “You are disgusting your ancestors with the way you act”. “Can’t believe your mother let you act that way. You’re black.” “That’s not how black people talk.” There were many times I had kids wanting to fight me because of the way I talked and act. “Beat some sense in the wannabe girl.” It got to the point that I hated school so much. So, I graduated early at 15.

Recently, my daughter and I were attacked by an older black guy who grabbed her arm out of nowhere. I pushed hard him then started to take out my pepper spray and taser. He then started yelling at us about why I’m raising my daughter like a white person. How we need to start acting right. Why do we want to act like the people who enslaved us,Who are still trying to hold us back, etc. He then stated that we need to be taught a lesson since my parents didn’t do it.

I sprayed him after kicking him in the baby maker…Unfortunately, I had to because he was way taller than me. After that several people came over to hold him down. They apologized because they thought we were young relatives of his.

It’s a shame that in the black community that there is racism towards each other. When we need to be there for each other. Why harass someone for the way they talk or act? Why harass them because their skin color is lighter than yours?

I have been talking like this since my first words. The slang talk was never for me because I could never understand people who used it. I wanted people to understand me and not wondering what I’m saying. As far as cussing; why cuss to get your point across? Same thing with yelling. Also, when someone is yelling, it always make me feel scared, so I don’t do it.

Not once have I ever wanted to be another ethnicity. I’m proud of my heritages, both the the Black American and the Native American…even my Middle Eastern side from my dad. I have never bleached my skin to become lighter or anything. I have never seen myself as trying to act anyway

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/meandurmom83 on 2023-10-03 13:07:34.

I was on a birthday party of a friend. On our way back to the hotel I was sitting in the back seat with a male friend (we've known each other for a year or so). He was a lil drunk I think but it didn't rly show all that much. We had a regular conversation before that and I never implied that I want anything more than a friendship. I'm super sensitive when it comes to touch and therefore obviously not very touchy (neither is he I'd say, I think we barely had any physical contact in the year we've known each other). I noticed him looking at me a few times and ignored it. When I leaned forward to talk to my friend who was driving so did he. I leaned back into my seat because I wasn't comfortable. At this point I'm avoiding all eye contact and just looking forward. After some time I lean forward because I wanted the friend driving to sing along to a song and I thought he'd hear it better that way. All of a sudden the male friend next to me puts his hand on my lower back (his hand rested on the left side of my waist- he sat on the right side next to me and his arm was around my lower back). I froze and couldn't do anything. I got nervous and very uncomfortable. There was no warning, nothing. This went on for 3 minutes. That same friend had just gotten out of a relationship a few months ago. He was known as the "green flag" who was very pro women's rights etc. Quite ironic. When we arrived he finally took his arm away and I instantly fell back into my seat. I freaked out when my other friend got out of the car and we were alone. He didn't say anything about the situation and I tried to find an excuse to also get out of the car. Once I was out of the car ready to close the door he asks "was that uncomfortable, the situation in the car?". I couldn't respond properly and just closed the door. After a few minutes we were all back in the car. He took a bit longer to come back (he also left the car some moments after I did) and when he got in he randomly tapped my leg for a second. I couldn't wait for us to get to the hotel and once we did I avoided him. Even now I don't really respond to his messages all that much. I don't know if I'm overreacting but I don't want to see him or talk to him.

Edit: apparently he boasted to everyone else about how he rizzed me up and definitely wants something from me (sounded quite sexual something along the lines of he wants to have sexual Intercourse with everyone that's running around on two legs)

Another edit: I confronted him and it ended with him trying to convince me he asked twice beforehand, that I definitely said yes to him doing all of that and that he would never do something like that without consent. Implied that I'll end the friendship and he ended up getting irritated that I wasn't taking his apology ("I'm sorry you felt this way") seriously.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Bob_slug on 2023-10-03 22:21:27.

You see it everyday on this sub. Several times per day.

• My bf does nothing at home I'm stuck with every chore. How do I communicate to him that I'm exhausted?
• My bf keeps grabbing my boobs even though I repeatedly tell him to stop. How do I communicate to him that it hurts me?
• My bf is sexting with women online. How do I make him understand that I don't feel respected?

Girl, girl. I've been there. I've been the "if I take some time and draw out a plan and don't antagonize him it'll all work out". The inconfortable truth is they know. They know they hurt you or make you uncomfortable but it's a price they're willing to pay to do whatever they want.

You can't talk someone into not abusing you. You can't explain respect to people who repeatedly trample your boundaries. You deserve so, so, so much better. If you're exhausted, it's for a good reason.

He's not a perfect husband "except for this". He's not a great guy with "angry outbursts". He fucking knows that houses need to get cleaned. You wouldn't tolerate that in yourself, why are you tolerating it with the one person who's supposed to have your back?

Please, stop trying to communicate with people who are actually counting on you always talking and never acting. Please protect yourselves.

That is all. This sub really makes me sad sometimes.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/mquirino_jpg on 2023-10-03 20:25:08.

This site has more incels than most other sites. Everything you say you recive conservative and sexist comments. In all the communities I used to post about advice and relationships I felt excluded and the minority.

Once a guy posted about how he thought his girlfriend was pregnant and I gave tips such as how they should use condoms and pills or IUDs together and also register the fertile period on a calender to be safe. I received several comments saying how stupid I was and the fertile period is not relevant and how you can get pregnant all month. And in the same post, several people told the OP how his girlfriend was trying to get pregnant in secret and how he couldn't trust her because she didn't want to use pills (the girlfriend was only 17 years old).

I'm tired of feeling like I shouldn't be here, every day something stupid about a single mother or some explicitly misogynistic. This community is a great breath of fresh air and reminds me that we are not alone. Thank you to all of you who share personal stories here and everyone else who responds with words of support

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/Qu33nMe on 2023-10-03 19:42:08.

I saw this posted on Facebook and feel it’s an important message to share.

If you're in an unsafe domestic situation and have a hidden secondary phone:

Wednesday, October 4th, FEMA is conducting a national test for emergency alerts. Your phone will get the alert anywhere from 2:20 pm (Eastern time) to 2:50 pm.

The sudden noise of this alert could disclose the location of your hidden device, so it's best to power it completely down during that time.

Stay safe.

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/ImportatConflict7831 on 2023-10-03 19:03:28.

For context I'm around 16 and I go to a public school in California, if that matters. We had a substitute come in for math today.

My bf and I were talking with him and my bf mentioned that he wanted to pursue a career in mathematics. Our sub asked him if he wanted to go into academia, fields of research, and discussed all that with him. Afterwards, he also asked me what I wanted to do with my life, and I told him that I wanted to pursue a career and higher studies in math also. Even though I had given, pretty much word for word, the same response to the question that my boyfriend had, he (the sub) instead asked me if I was interested in teaching/becoming a hs math teacher. I told him that I wanted to do research as well and he asked me if I was 100% sure because its "difficult" to get into academia nowadays.

He also told me that I should "really consider teaching" while he was really excited to discuss fields of research and jobs in academia with my bf.

It kinda rubbed me the wrong way. Am I overthinking this?

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/iammavisdavis on 2023-10-03 19:39:28.

Just a reminder...

If anyone has a secret/safe phone in the USA, please turn it off tomorrow. Every cell phone will be sent a nationwide, security alert and if your phone is on it will be discoverable as it will sound the alert.

Stay safe. ❤️

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The original was posted on /r/twoxchromosomes by /u/shady-lampshade on 2023-10-03 19:23:16.

Tomorrow (Wednesday) around 2pm ET, there will be a nationwide emergency broadcast test. If anyone has a phone they’re hiding while trying to escape an abusive partner, PLEASE make sure it’s turned off! Stay safe everyone, and please get this info to anyone who may need it.