this post was submitted on 18 Jan 2025
819 points (99.3% liked)

Not The Onion

13758 readers
1404 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Comments must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
[–] [email protected] 126 points 1 month ago (3 children)

"But it does impact how sales work through the store because when you lock things up," he added, "for example, you don’t sell as many of them. We’ve kind of proven that pretty conclusively."

wow, check out the brains on this guy

[–] [email protected] 47 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Remember: You get a business degree because you're not talented enough for the arts and not smart enough for engineering or medicine.

[–] [email protected] 7 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I’ve always heard “what do you call a failed med student? The hospital administrator.”

[–] [email protected] 2 points 1 month ago

Know what they call the med student who graduated bottom of his class?

"Doctor."

[–] [email protected] 36 points 1 month ago (1 children)

Bonus points for first bringing all your points of sale down to skeleton crews first.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 1 month ago

Just replace them with self checkout, problem solved! Wait… back to square 1.

[–] [email protected] 28 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

Lol. I'm guessing they earned this discovery after an agile data driven pivot away from keeping the front doors of the store locked all day...