Mental Health
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Damn you're so lucky to have something to go to and especially lucky for having friends and people who care about you. I wish I had that right now. I literally don't see anyone and spent 24 hours inside one single room for 2 years. The fact that I have no one who cares about me just deeply discourages me.
And the fact that I'm living with my parents again deeply discourages me further to do anything but I can't get out here because of the strong burden that makes me incapable of living independently.
I lost the hope that eventually something will improve since I had that for years and nothing changed. I already know that I will still be stuck in this room for the next 5 years unless I'm going insane or die til before that. What a waste of valuable life time๐ฎโ๐จ
When was the last time you spoke to an old high school friend? Or even a neighbor? Maybe converse with the people in line with you next time you are at the store. Little steps add up. The friends I have now were old college roommates with me before I dropped out. A few years after moving out of that apartment I had a therapist challenge me to reach out to someone I knew. I did that and talked about how I was reaching out to people having a standing weekly get together with and they responded well to that idea. In the years since then they have had three kids and they all call me uncle.
I don't wanna talk to anyone while I'm living with my parents and am in this miserable situation.
But even if I would ever get out of here I don't have anyone to talk to. I went to like 5 different high schools since they put me into facilities at different locations in my teens.
Before I got taken away from home I had so many friends as a kid and literally met friends every single day. But over the years I lost contact to every single one of them and haven't talked to them in many years.
I'm generally not a guy who keeps friends for their lifetime. It was never that deep. When I went to a new school I had these friends for a few months and then never talked to them again.
Why do you have to wait until you aren't living with your parents?
It's blocking me. It's like I'm not worthy enough when I still live here. And living here makes me feel so uncomfortable I wouldn't be able to talk to someone. I'm even afraid to leave my room because I could encounter my dad.
Those thoughts aren't true but I understand having mental blocks.