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A friendly place to discuss the Stoic philosophy.

The only rule for now is to act kindly to one another. We will add more if we need to.

People new to the philosophy are welcome to join and ask questions!

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Kindness is weakness? (lemmings.world)

submitted 5 days ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Even when we always treat others well, it hurts when they treat us badly in return. While it's true that we shouldn't expect good in return for our good deeds and should continue to treat others with kindness, it still feels unfair when others take advantage of our goodness and manipulate us in such situations.

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

I think it hurts if there’s an expectation of kindness being reciprocated and it also depends on personal limits of kindness. I would agree that being kind to people who’ve shown themselves to be unworthy or take advantage of it, despite it being evident that the person is not someone to be kind too, is weakness. Being kind to others exposes you in my opinion; becoming jaded and walling yourself off would be easier. I would also tentatively assert that enacting kindness in order to receive kindness is it’s lesser form, if it’s even truly kindness at all.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 5 days ago (1 children)

Becoming jaded is easier, but makes certain joys inaccessible. Not that you were saying it's better, just to clarify that it isn't. Becoming cynical is something people do proactively when they cannot control their reactivity.

If you are able to control how you react, there's no reason not to go into every situation ready for the best, just also ready for the worst and able to not let it ruin your day. And if you're entering every situation like that, you might as well be kind for your own sake, so as to avoid cutting yourself off from potential positivity, while/since knowing that you don't need to let the potential for the opposite affect you if it comes to pass.

All said, over-investing in kindness to the degree that you wear yourself down clearly doesn't serve you, so all in balance.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Well said. Edit: I didn’t feel confident in claiming it’s easier and therefore weaker to do so by default; your clarification expresses the sentiment better.