this post was submitted on 09 Feb 2025
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Lord of the memes
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❝But they were all of them deceived, for another ring was made. In the land of Mordor, in the fires of Mount Doom, the Dark Lord Sauron forged, in secret, a Ultra Master Ring™️ to control all others. And into this Ring he poured all his spare cruelty, his extra malice and his leftover will to dominate all life. An Extra Ring to rule them all.❞
"Now look at this hologram showing the original The One Ring. And now here's The Ultra Master Ring. You can see it's almost three times bigger than The One Ring."
I know this is all in jest, but I imagined a One Ring the size of a hobbit bracelet and then imagined a cave troll discovering it and what sort of dark Lord a big dumb bastard like him would become.
This is ripe for fanfiction.
A cave troll could have actually worn the One Ring in actual LOTR canon. One of the Ring's powers was to change size. That's how it slipped off Gollum's finger at just the right time to have Bilbo pick it up. If the Ring wanted to abandon a Bearer, it could simply expand in size at an opportune moment. You think Frodo and Sauron had the same ring size?
The only real issue is that in order to fit on a cave troll's hand, the Ring would have had to want to be worn by a cave troll. It certainly could expand large enough to fit a cave troll's hand, but only if the Ring desired that for some reason.
If I was the one ring, I would grow so big and wear middle earth
Well, that would have been one way for Sauron to quickly find the damn thing.
Right perpendicular to the "axis" going through Mordor so Sauron couldn't easily find me. Because it would be funny!
(Note: I have no idea if the world in which middle earth is set/embedded is actually spherical to make this possible. Although a flat-ish world, provided its perimeter was round-ish enough could also work...
Someone who has read the silmarilion or similar please inform/correct me, thank you!)
And the shape of that ring? A key blade.
🤮
Extra lord of the extra rings, the return of the extra king
How long til LOTR enters the public domain?