this post was submitted on 14 Feb 2025
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One day I asked what someone's relationship status was, and they said "I have a girlfriend but she's been missing and is presumed dead, so I don't know if getting another GF would be cheating". It's at that moment when I realized how complicated relationship statuses can get. Like that Seinfeld episode where the guy is in a coma so he lends his girlfriend to another guy.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 25 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago) (1 children)

A 7 (I think? Maybe 8?) person queer anarchist polycule including at least one trans and two nonbinary people bought a house. Only two of them had credit scores that could qualify for the mortgage, so they were the only ones on the deed.

There were the usual squabbles about resource sharing, proper use of the sharps container, etc. The thing that really complicated it was the personal defense culture - open carry were encouraged and providing firearms training and range time for the local queer community was an explicit goal.

Fast forward a year or so. The primary partner of one of the deed holders has mostly shifted to other partners and the deed holder is extremely hurt and angry. The other deed holder is involved in a disagreement with accusations of transphobia and claims of threats of violence on both sides.

Things get so tense that two people leave or are driven out (depending who you ask). They just happen to be the two on the mortgage and deed. In the mean time, the housing market crashed and significantly more is owed than the house is worth. The deed holders want out, nobody else has a place to go, one person just wants revenge, the two sides can't even talk to each other unmediated, both groups have some of the others' belongings, and an eviction has a real chance of getting someone killed.

(This is no longer an active situation, and was eventually resolved to nobody's satisfaction but without bloodshed)

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago (1 children)

This is definitely complicated, were you perhaps involved?

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 5 days ago

Not from the inside. It's the kind of situation that spills over into community, friend groups, and projects people are involved in though.