this post was submitted on 15 Feb 2025
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It does feel lonely on fedi as trans guy

Not just as trans guy, but also the one who isn't that much interested in tech (I can learn something for my amateur website, but that's it).

It's also kinda interesting that I used to have even some aversion to learning tech due to family trauma (don't force your own goals on your kids) and misogyny in IT spaces, which makes makes it a bit harder to have joy in learning it (and also it's fucking hard, I need explanations like I'm 5 or I won't understand). Though among my all-transmasc family members I'm still the one most interested in IT, LOL.

And basically that's why I find bluesky more appealing to me lately, simply because I see variety of interests and more transmascs. If I see memes and shitposts in trans communities on fedi, they're oriented mostly to transfems into tech (which I don't mind at all, I'm just not the target audience). Despite all of that, I will continue to actively use fedi at least to be the one who makes some variety here :D

@ftm

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[โ€“] [email protected] 10 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Being a transmasc who is into computers, that causes its own kind of isolation because a lot of the trans-in-tech spaces, well... a carelessly-phrased egg joke in a transfem-heavy space hits as pressure to detransition if you happen to be a transmasc, and so the whole "teehee become a girl to be a True Programmer" meme culture feels hostile.

[โ€“] [email protected] 6 points 3 days ago

The amount of IT nerd trans women I've had straight up tell me that I'm not actually nonbinary and that what's really going on is my egg still needs to crack more because I've got too much internalized misogyny is uncomfortably high. I've had at least a dozen separate conversations where different people have tried to convince me I'm not actually nonbinary, just a trans woman in denial.