cross-posted from: https://lemmy.blahaj.zone/post/22098369
(found this community more fitting because im a lesbian, also because I see people get downvoted a lot in advice communities despite being made for advice)
she’s just not a very active person online. when she is, shes only active in group chats with her friends.
usually, she talks about video games, and is actually offline because she plays video games almost all the time.
is there any way to salvage the relationship? she’s too focused on her interests to be interested in mine, and like I said, is almost always playing games so we barely talk aside from: “hi ❤️” “Hi sweetie ❤️” “hru??” “Good, just playing games, you?” “good :)) im listening to music” and then the conversation ends because she doesn’t message first and is busy with the other stuff.
(i have tried talking to her and she says she’s usually busy. shes either genuinely busy, busy with games, or in a bad mood and doesn’t feel like talking [sad/tired])
she either types
“oh!”
“…/.”
or
“erm what 😨” when i say smth
also, shes quite dry around me, often giving like one word responses and only being super energetic around her friends and when posting about video games.
idk if she’s actually just busy or making excuses, since shes usually talking to her friends or other partner (open relationships)
People can be simple, yet also complicated. It's possible the girlfriend might have moved on or she might be running away, a small but important enough difference. Which is why right now I think it's better for OP to focus on herself and what she wants. Whether to stay or to go, it's something she'll have to live through.
The girlfriend seems to have some goals and so OP should probably try and figure out what her own are as well. Two partners moving in different directions almost always end up apart.
I hope I'm not pushing in either direction through my words, because in this kind of things, it's easy to form an opinion as an outsider. It's much harder when actually living it.
Ultimately, only OP can decide if they're happy and what it was that made them happy in the first place. If that happiness is missing, do they want to find it again or accept it as lost to the past? It's up to them.
tysm 💕 you’re not pushing it, you’re very helpful
I'm glad i was able to.
Even so, I'm just an online stranger. The limits of this means you can take my words into consideration, but you shouldn't depend on them completely. A piece of advice is just extra knowledge and while it can help, it is after all just an outsider's perspective.
I agree with you.
“ i actually did break up with her last year because she thought i didn’t care about her. she then said i broke up with her because i’m a horrible person and said i assaulted her.” but this also concerns me
Yup. Complicated. Which is why I'm not going deeper, I can't help that far.