this post was submitted on 17 Feb 2025
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No Stupid Questions

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I’m (19F by the way, not like 50) a bad texter. I can be not dry when I want to be, but usually I’m just not up for texting. I really don’t engage with my friends. (I’m asocial).

I don’t participate in their activities. I don’t really ask them how they are, or what their interests are. I don’t even engage in deep discussion with them unless I’m up for it.

When my friend sends a video that reminded her of me or that she finds funny, I don’t click it and just ignore it.

Maybe my friends are growing apart and they text me less because of this, but I’m kind of okay with that because I know they will be there for me when I need it and because I’m genuinely just tired/bored most of the time.

One time, my friend asked me if I’d like to spend time with her, and I just point-blank said “No”. IDK if that’s rude just because I’m being honest and also because it’s not personal, I don’t want to engage with anyone.

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[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

Was this a better effort?

“how are you?”

“Listening to music.”

“what band??”

“Idk. Metallica or something”

“what song from them? i love metallica”

“Idk”

—- “what are you up to today?”

“Watching TV”

“what show?”

“Idk I can’t say”

Also, do I actually type like a 50-year-old?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 3 days ago

you don’t type like a 50 year old, you type like someone who’s not interested in having a conversation

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

Of course not, if I was chatting with you I’d feel like I was bothering you.

  • “How are you?”
  • “Listening to music”
  • “What band?”
  • “It’s on shuffle, I think it’s Metallica”
  • “What song from them? I love Metallica”
  • “IDK, let me check. It’s ‘Sad But True’. I think it’s actually good”.

—-

  • “What are you up to today?”
  • “Watching TV”
  • “What show?”
  • “It’s Rick and Morty, but don’t tell anyone”
  • “Why?”
  • “I’m afraid others will think I’m an incel or something”

My mom and mother-in-law are in their 80s, and they’re not great texters but you can tell they’re making an effort, and that counts a lot. It’s not about caring about how well you text, but how a series of dry answers might make your friends feel like a nuisance.

You need to “groom” others to care about you so they tolerate antisocial behaviors, but not all people can be groomed this way.

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago

this sounds far better than how OP texts

[–] [email protected] -5 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (2 children)

My new response as “I’M WATCHING. A MOVIE!!!!” :)

My friend just asked if I was ok.

Update: I said “NOOOO.” and she blocked me??

[–] [email protected] 4 points 3 days ago

What? So you’re ableist?

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

That was honestly not bad until you decided to be ableist 💔

[–] [email protected] 1 points 3 days ago

I just think they’re socially awkward and I prefer confident people. She blocked me because she decided to “leave me alone”. I also type in all caps a lot and people think I’m mad at them??

[–] [email protected] 2 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Not really better. How do you not know what you’re doing? Did the show just randomly come on when you turned on the TV/Metallica song came up in a playlist?