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my gf is hardly ever online and prefers games (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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she’s just not a very active person online. when she is, shes only active in group chats with her friends.

usually, she talks about video games, and is actually offline because she plays video games almost all the time.

is there any way to salvage the relationship? she’s too focused on her interests to be interested in mine, and like I said, is almost always playing games so we barely talk aside from: “hi ❤️” “Hi sweetie ❤️” “hru??” “Good, just playing games, you?” “good :)) im listening to music” and then the conversation ends because she doesn’t message first and is busy with the other stuff.

(i have tried talking to her and she says she’s usually busy. shes either genuinely busy, busy with games, or in a bad mood and doesn’t feel like talking [sad/tired])

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[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 days ago (5 children)

If she's playing games you could voice chat in parallel. I do that a bunch with my friends. Or you could even play something together, like "we were here" or "it takes two" (or "bread and Fred" if you want to break up). Like in general maybe take more interest in each others hobbies. Talk about which games she's playing and what games she's excited about from future releases, tell her what kind of music you're listening to. If the conversation just ends because she doesn't message anymore after "I'm listening to music" it's because neither of you picked up the topic the other presented.

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) (2 children)

she hardly ever talks to me anymore. usually she’s too busy to hang out with me, doesn’t invite me to play with her, and doesn’t seem interested when i wanna play a game or “forgets”. thank you so much, though 🫂

i try to be interested in her hobbies but she doesn’t pick up the conversation or “doesn’t see” my messages, and she doesn’t try to be interested in mine in return, usually I either get a “that’s nice”, she laughs at it, or is like “oh! that’s not…” or even just “… ok”

i should also say lately shes had romantic messages about guys but “can’t tell me” who she’s talking about. at first I thought she was referring to me. flirtatiously I asked, “who are you referring to 🤭” and her response was “i can’t tell you…”

she also seemed rather guilty and avoidant. i also found out she was referring to some guy and talking about how she wanted him to get her pregnant??

[–] [email protected] 3 points 2 days ago (1 children)

Uhm are you two monogamous? Also just making sure, you're long distance i take it? Honestly that relationship does not sound healthy at all unless you're poly.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

we are poly, kinda. the agreement is that we have to know the person and/or know about them before we can date them or it’s considered cheating.

for example, she has a gf. i know of the gf: i know she has one and i’ve talked to her before, so this is alright. she has spoken to my ex a little when i dated him (before i figured out i wasn’t into guys) and knows he dated me.

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