this post was submitted on 20 Feb 2025
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I bit ago I made a post detailing the Egg prime directive in Egg irl. To be clear that was a policy post but it also helped outline the concept in a way that many people don't do. Most descriptions of the Egg prime directive are either incomplete or, purposefully uncharitable. So it's good to clarify it.

This is a different kind of post, unlike that one it's not a policy post in regards to community enforcement, it's more meant to address the issue in a general sense.

Today I'm going to talk about why the Egg Prime Directive is important, and also more importantly, why people disagreeing with it or not following it isn't acceptable.

First why does it matter? Well I discussed it heavily in my other post but the gist of it is that it is important to respect the way a person identifies themselves, the pronouns they use, the label they call themselves. Regardless of how they look or present themselves. It seems like a pretty fundamental concept that there shouldn't be any issue with, yet somehow many people seem to have an issue with it and don't do it. When a person's identity isn't respected it can be deeply hurtful and is ultimately deeply disrespectful to them.

Why 'disagreement' with the egg is problematic at best? Well the thing is, because the Egg Prime Directive is solely about respecting the way a person identifies themselves and their autonomy to identify themselves in a way that they see fit, to argue against it is to argue against people's validity to self-identification. It's not much different from arguing against certain aspects of trans rights. Ultimately many instances where people break the Egg Prime Directive are targeting individuals who are Gender-Nonconforming or even NonBinary.

Some people argue that they should be able to break it to fight cisnormativity. However this is a very poor justification to try and make it seem okay to violate someone else's gender identification and ultimately isn't being done for their benefit, it is going against their right to identify as any gender or use any label they feel like. To be clear, they have that right, all the time. The idea that someone doesn't have the right to identify as their preferred gender or label in certain circumstances is downright dystopian.

Bottom line, there is no such thing as respectful disagreement with this concept, going against the Egg Prime Directive is solely an act of going against another person's identification. It isn't respectful to them as a person. It's very similar to "respectful transmedicalism" or "respectful transphobia" in this regard. It is a harmful behavior made out as if it's respectful or good.

Oh and By the way. Before someone tries to argue that Egging is "politely explaining what trans means to someone" this subject has been covered in the last post and respectful support and education is NOT Egging, and is freely allowed by the Egg prime directive, if not explicitly encouraged, trying to argue as if it somehow isn't is disingenuous, and frankly seems extremely uncharitable.

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[–] [email protected] 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

I try to just silently lurk here as a cishet ally but to offer my experience being "egged"---

I had a close friend question my identity fairly recently. For a few moments i was taken aback and asked them to explain but im glad it happened. It allowed us to have a conversation and i was able to have my friend respect my identity. To me it was hurtful that we have known each other for years and they have questioned my identity the whole time. You see the problem isn't that they "egged" me, it's that they questioned my identity to begin with. Once they've done that then id rather talk about it. Id rather people see me the way i see myself. Again, it just feels weird to me to talk to someone, be a close friend, be in their wedding, and all the while question how they identify but never once mention it. If someone is going to question my identity id rather just talk about it. And even if i was an egg, i would have much rather started that journey years ago instead of waiting to talk to me.

I don't think that my singular experience debunks your whole thing, but i do think that i don't fully agree with it.

Edit: to add, they told me they think im trans because of XYZ. I do agree that discussion about gender would've been a softer approach and probably better for people other than me. I also acknowledge i can't fully know how it would feel to be told that and not be comfortable with my identity. On this acct I've shared that im exmormon-- when i was Mormon there was a lot of people talking behind my back or not telling me what they really thought. It's why now i just prefer bluntness and why i think regardless of my gender identity i would appreciate a close friend just telling me what they think instead of beating around the bush. This obviously wouldn't be the case for everyone and i acknowledge that.