this post was submitted on 03 Mar 2025
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Just a note on the efficacy of activist messages in FOSS.
In the Aughts, I was learning to play with microcontrollers. PIC microcontrollers were free as well as the JAL language. I ordered a hardware programmer from the Dutch guy who created JAL: Wouter van Ooijen. Probably my first purchase online. There was a statement in the license, to the effect of, the language could not be used to develop arms.
Looking back, that was a turning point for me. I was machining arms for a living and continued to do so for years. It got me to thinking about what it was that I was producing with my hands. Weapons for killing people.
I thought about it a lot. All these things I was making with blood and sweat being used to kill people. Running machines on night shift gives you time to think.
His statement was, at minimum, at least partially responsible for me changing my mind. I grew past the bad religion and far right ideology that I was taught.
I'm going to send him a thank you note.
Not an easy thing to change about oneself. Good job and thanks for sharing ๐
I'm just an internet stranger, but I'm proud of your growth. Many people in similar positions would've spent those years digging themselves deeper, because confronting the cognitive dissonance is not easy (you may well have spent some of that time digging deeper, but you made it out, and I'm glad you're here with us)
I dug into 'Creation Science' for a while as a result of the cognitive dissonance. Trying to square reason and science with religion and belief in an inerrant Bible. Ultimately, I lost my religion and had an existential crisis that lasted about a year.
It was terrible. Panic attacks and circular thinking. An existential crisis is depression's cousin. Painful, frightening, and eventually exciting. I'm free now. I got rid of the slavery that was pushed into me as a child. Still have to fight the guilt and bad thought patterns.
I was not successful in bringing any friends or family with me from before. I tried. I have regrets, but would do it again.