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There are two kinds of copes: healthy & unhealthy. What is your goal? If it's to actually heal, you need to take steps towards healthy coping.
I'm working through my unhealthy copes. Things like targeted bitterness, willfully ignoring the issues, depersonalization, detached relationships, etc.
Long-term, I ain't doin' so great. But I'm trying to be in a healthier mindset in order to get better.
Baby steps.
And in case anyone needs a reminder: forgiveness does not mean "letting it ride"— sometimes it means letting it go of the hurt that's clung onto you so that you can move forward, regardless of the other party. It's a journey.... it.. certainly is a journey.. and it will absolutely take time. And it doesn't always involve closure. That's where I personally am right now.
Anyhow. Yeah.
I don't enjoy healthy coping. It hurts a lot. But I know it's what I need to do in order not to destroy both myself & the others around me who may genuinely care.
Idk. Shit's hard, yo.
EDIT: yeeeah, one time I did nothing else except immerse myself in a video game for like 3 months straight. No joke. Addiction has a lot of forms, but they'll all fuck you up.
This is about the best answer that can be expected for such a vague plea for help.
I've done the video game addiction thing myself. Path of Exile.....the game was good. Using it for unhealthy coping was not good.
Basically I would agree. The only thing you can change is yourself. Work on yourself. Dodge the second arrow.
Thank you for the link. It's as if that article was spying on my wife, and I'll share it with her when she wakes. Happy Tuesday!