this post was submitted on 24 Aug 2023
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Bruh I was dead asleep when I had my toes attacked by one cat and my face attacked by the other.
Your own fault for having a face and toes and dangling both in front of feral killers. Also, they wanted food and you chose to selfishly indulge in resting your body while your superiors literally fought starvation with their last bit of strength left. I also assume the bottom of the feeding bowl was visible, you monster! You probably deserve everything you got.
Are you sure your cats aren't assassins? Their playful demeanor may just be an act so you put down your guard.
At this point everything is on the table.
I take it they haven't been in your apartment for long?
oh no I've had these two both since they were kittens. 9 years and 1 year.
They pulled that shit at like 1 am. I have no idea what kind of conspiracy was going on.
It was mostly a joke about them not throwing everything off the table :D