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Making close friends as an adult (beehaw.org)

submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]

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Hi everyone! I'm in my late 20s and I've been reminiscing on my young adult life and what I like/don't like. One point that has been coming up for me is close, vulnerable friendships. I used to have a few friends who I was very close to a few years ago, who I could talk to about deep life stuff, big emotions, vulnerable feelings and worries, and also just enjoy time together discussing silly/serious media or the world.

I have since lost these friends, one way or another. Some simply drifted, some left in a flurry of drama and hurt feelings. I thankfully kept some friends, but a lot of them have been lost.

Despite the volatility of those friendships, there was something I was getting from them that I really needed and still need. I think that need is simply the human desire for close companionship. I have a partner, and he's wonderful; he's not particularly feel-y however, and my friends aren't either. I think I need more emotionally-vulnerable people.

My question is this... How does one make these friends as an adult? In fact, how does one make any friends as an adult? I'm finding myself not knowing how to proceed and find other emotional folk. Any advice would be appreciated. <3

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[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

I have 3 very close friends, the kind where if I told em I need to bury a body, they'd grab a shovel. I lived with all 3 of them. Two as roommates, one is an ex-SO (found out we work better as friends). Something about living with people allows that depth of friendship you don't get when you're siloed away most of the time and only see them on occasion.

But it's not everyone of course. My current roommates are friends, but not close friends.