this post was submitted on 17 Dec 2020
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Linux
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Linux is a family of open source Unix-like operating systems based on the Linux kernel, an operating system kernel first released on September 17, 1991 by Linus Torvalds. Linux is typically packaged in a Linux distribution (or distro for short).
Distributions include the Linux kernel and supporting system software and libraries, many of which are provided by the GNU Project. Many Linux distributions use the word "Linux" in their name, but the Free Software Foundation uses the name GNU/Linux to emphasize the importance of GNU software, causing some controversy.
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The real question would be self-hosted? Because if not, well... lots of trust to be given to a 3rd party then...
Anyways, if self-hosted definitely XMPP (Clients: Fdroid: Conversations, Debian: Dino or Gajim). You can try it with a free server , but self-hosting is easy. Both Dino and Conversations support e2e encryption so even with a free host you are relatively secure, but metadata will still leak. Conversations also supports 1:1 video-chat, with that feature AFAIK soon coming to Dino (edit: maybe not so soon, but Gajim supports it).
Another XMPP based option would be Movim. It runs in a browser or via the Android client on Fdroid. Their main instance is free to use, but all communication is in clear-text (Edit: SSL transport encrypted of course). It also supports 1:1 video chats including with people on Conversations. Self-hosting it is a bit more involved, but definitely doable.
Non XMPP options would be matrix.org / element. But I can't recommend them for self-hosting and there is no real audio-video chat (it just embeds an external instance of jitsi-meet, which ironically is XMPP based).