this post was submitted on 17 Mar 2021
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Privacy
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IMHO the best option would be to self-host a XMPP server and use an app like Conversations (Free on F-droid). You can make a free account on blabber.im to see it in action. Other community run XMPP servers should also be fine.
Self-hosting a Matrix server is also an option, but not as easy or low resource as a XMPP server like Prosody/Snikket or Ejabberd. Using a free Matrix account somewhere is less recommended, but ok as long as you are aware that the network is quite centralized and your identity & meta-data will end up on the matrix.org servers in the UK one way or the other.
As for centralized commercial apps: Threema is probably the best option right now, but it isn't free (but with open-source clients). Signal is more popular, but hosted in the US on AWS/Google servers and IMHO fake open-source. Signal also requires a phone-number which is a serious privacy issues in most countries.
Last but not least, Telegram might be the lowest friction entry option for your friends, but it has several privacy draw-backs and thus only an option of last resort (still better than WhatsApp though).
I thought I deleted this post... oh well. I think I'll go with XMPP/Matrix combination. thanks for the recommendation.
It was displayed as deleted shortly after posting my reply. Not sure what happened exactly.