I recently did this for the second time. Started on FreeNAS, switched to TrueNAS Scale when it released and just switched to Debian. Scale was too reliant on TrueCharts which would break and require a fresh install every couple of months. I should've just started with Debian in the first place.
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I would’ve gone with a less powerful nas and got a separate unit for compute. I got a synology nas with a decent amount of compute so I could run all my stuff on the nas, and the proprietary locked down OS drives me a bit nuts. Causes all sorts of issues. If I had a separate compute box I could just be running some flavor of Linux, probably Ubuntu and have things behave much more nicely
Would've used NixOS
Not go as HAM on commercial server hardware. iLO is really nice for management though...
To be honest, nothing.
Running my home server on a nuc with proxmox and a 8 bay synology Nas (though I'm glad that I went with 8 bay back then!).
As a router I have opnsense running on a low powered mini pc.
All in all I couldn't wish for more (low power, high performance, easy to maintain) for my use case, but I'll soon need some storage and ram upgrade on the proxmox server.
Probably splurge just a bit more for CMR hard drives in my ZFS setup. I've had some pretty scary moments in my current setup.
The only real pain point I have is my hard drive layout. I've got a bunch of different drive sizes that are hard to expand on without wasting space or spending a ton.
I would go smaller with lower power hardware. I currently have Proxmox running on an r530 for my VMs, plus an external NAS for all my storage. I feel like I could run a few 7050 micro's together with proxmox and downsize my NAS to use less but higher density disks.
Also, having a 42U rack makes me want to fill it up with UPS's and lots of backup options that could be simplified if I took the time to not frankenstein my solutions in there. But, here we are...
Run the cables more neatly.
I built a compact nas. While it's enough for the drives I need, even for upgrades, I only have 1 pcie x4 slot. Which is becoming a bit limiting. I didn't think i'd have a need for for either a tape drive or a graphics card, and I have some things I want to do that require both. Well, I can only do one unless I get a different motherboard and case. Which means i'm basically doing a new build and I don't want to do either of the projects I had in mind enough to bother with that.
Getting a better rack. My 60cm deep rack with a bunch of rack shelves and no cable management is not very pretty and moving servers around is pretty hard.
Hardwarewise I'm mostly fine with it, although I would use a platform with IPMI instead of AM4 for my hypervisor.
Use actual nas drives. Do not use shucked external drives, they are cheaper for a reason, not meant for 24-7. Though I guess they did get me through a couple years, and hard drive prices seem to keep falling.