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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Noonehere79 on 2024-01-19 06:19:15+00:00.
My girlfriend (32F) and I (41M) have an online relationship and have done so for about 6 months.
We meet up when we can but most of our communication is via FaceTime, phone and text.
She lives in a rural area and due to a complete lack of rental accommodation she still lives in the same house as her ex finance (38m) with their two kids. They separated 2 years ago after he cheated on and had a 12 months relationship with another woman in secret. They have separate bedrooms and live separate lives but work together on raising the kids.
Recently she mentioned she was taking the kids away on a vacation. It had been planned for months but she hadn’t mentioned it to me. It wasn’t until after the trip started that I found out she had taken the ex with her. That detail had not been mentioned once in any discussion around the vacation. I’m told this was a last minute change due to him being able to get time off work.
When I came to the realisation that he was there with her I voiced my concern at not having been informed that she was taking her ex on a trip with her. I expected some acknowledgment that this was, at the very least, a pretty significant oversight on her part and some sign that she understood going on vacation with her ex was absolutely something I would expect to be told and that I was justified in feeling upset by the omission.
The reaction was very different. She informed me that what ever steps she takes to allow her children to spend time with their father is up to her and none of my business. She thought she had told me but in any case the situation doesn’t affect me and it’s up to her what she does. She also informs me that by starting an argument over this I have ruined part of a vacation that I know she needed and is now refusing to speak to me until she calms down.