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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/Infinite_Step3417 on 2024-01-23 01:57:44+00:00.
I 37f have a daughter Mia 15f. Mia is very forgetful/irresponsible when it comes to school. She is barely on time/late to school most days even though we live a 10 minute walk away. She will do homework last minute and often ask for extensions with work.
She had a tendency to remind me to pay for school related things like lunch money, just before I’m going to bed, or that she needs to take something into school so can we run to the store and quickly get it.
Last month, I went on a wild goose chase to help Mia locate ingredients for her home econ class, after she told me at half 10 she needs xyz ingredients and she just checked the fridge and we don’t have it.
She was reading the ingredients of an email, and when I saw it was dated a week prior, got annoyed Mia couldn’t have told me before when we did the big food shop for the family.
I told her the next time she needs something for school to tell me the day she gets told or the day after latest, or I will not be helping her out.
My husband has stopped helping Mia with her last minute requests and calls me a pushover for helping her out, but when she asked today to put down the deposit for a school trip I put my foot down.
Mia has known since the start of the school year she had a school trip to Germany. Her school sent an email out two months ago asking for deposits for kids to secure their place on trip. It’s is about 150, and Mia asked me today to pay as the deadline is midnight or she may not be able to go.
I reminded her what I said last time about deadlines and organisation and as she chose to tell me last minute I will not be paying for her deposit. She got upset as all her friends from history class are going.
I told Mia that she can pay herself from her savings as she has a part time job, which is more than enough to cover her deposit, but she wanted to save up to buy a new game console.
I told her to pick if she wanted to go on the trip or get a new game console and she called me an AH, and now I’m wondering if I’m being unreasonable. My husband is on my side but my youngest said it was mean and Mia is very upset with me.
ETA- Mia doesn’t have ADHD, but she is dyslexic so this does explain the schoolwork sometimes, but she will ask for extensions on top of her extensions which is a sore spot for her and my husband who wants her to be more organised and not leave work last minute.
Mia has been tested for ADHD and doesn’t not have it, I did my research at the time and realised it often gets overlooked for girls but even after getting another opinion she doesn’t have ADHD. She gets help from a school advisor regarding her dyslexia and at home we have discussed strategies to help her stay on track with her responsibilities.