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The original was posted on /r/amitheasshole by /u/WestVast9127 on 2024-01-24 01:25:04+00:00.
I (24f) & my boyfriend (23m) moved into our first apartment about a year ago after living with his dad for awhile. We were so excited to have a home that was officially ours, even if it was just a small 2 bedroom apartment. One thing we both agreed on was any visitors giving us a visit would also need to give us a heads up. We're not big on people showing up unexpectedly, this is our home & we would like our privacy, which I think is understandable. Everyone has been respectful of this boundary...minus my boyfriends grandmother. She knows of our request about calling before showing up. But she acts like that boundary does not apply to her. She shows up unannounced, even as late as midnight with no warning. This has happened MULTIPLE times, no matter how many times we ask her not to. Fast forward a few weeks after she's done this numerous times, and I finally had enough. I told my boyfriend that any time she now shows up with no heads up, I will not be answering the door. (This applies to anyone showing up unannounced. She's just the only person who actually does.) She will just have to stand out there until she gets tired of knocking & leaves. He agreed this was the only way we could get it through her head. Side note, I don't mind her coming over. She's allowed to visit, as long as we have that heads up. But this has been going on for almost a year. Even after we told her we won't let her in if she shows up unannounced, that doesn't stop her from continuing to do it. I'm sure she thinks we'll cave, but so far we have not. I won't give in & reward her for disrespecting boundaries. We've been called rude & assholes for doing this, but I don't think I'm wrong for asking for a notice before someone shows up to our home, our safe space. All I asked was for my boundaries to be respected, and she can't do that, so now she has to suffer the consequences.
So reddit, AITA?
*ETA: I see a lot of comments asking if she has dementia or has been evaluated, so I'd just like to post here: her 2 sons have had her evaluated. Dr's believe nothing is wrong, there's no signs of dementia and claim there is nothing to be worried about. She is a very intrusive human being. Bf's family claims that's "just how she is" & I "signed up for it when I joined the family." Thats how the always excuse her behavior...I wish I could say this is the worst of it