this post was submitted on 21 Jul 2023
1765 points (99.0% liked)

Memes

46399 readers
2568 users here now

Rules:

  1. Be civil and nice.
  2. Try not to excessively repost, as a rule of thumb, wait at least 2 months to do it if you have to.

founded 5 years ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] [email protected] 94 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Don't hang up. Instead, enable airplane mode for increased verisimilitude.

[–] [email protected] 32 points 2 years ago

Thanks for showing me a new word! “Verisimilitude” seems useful.

[–] [email protected] 23 points 2 years ago (1 children)

For those like me.....

noun: The quality of appearing to be true or real. synonym: truth.

Context implied it but still....Nice word!

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I'm glad you like it! I like how it's made up of three common and easily-identifiable components: it uses the same root as verify meaning true, the same root as similar meaning "like", with tude being a common suffix like -ness. Basically "true-likeness".

https://www.etymonline.com/word/*were-o-
https://www.etymonline.com/word/*sem-#etymonline_v_52581
https://www.etymonline.com/word/-tude#etymonline_v_18793

[–] lemonadebunny 6 points 2 years ago

There really needs to be a word of the day community on here!

[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

Just keep your phone permanently in airplane mode; problem fixed.

[–] [email protected] 58 points 2 years ago

I would try this and say "I'm about to die" by accident and then spend five minutes explaining the mistake and five days thinking about it. No thanks,.

[–] [email protected] 45 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Tried this at work the other day. Apparently this doesn’t work in call centers… anyone hiring?

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago

"My wireless bluetooth headset is about to die..."

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

Look for those "call before you dig" signs, then do the opposite.

[–] [email protected] 42 points 2 years ago (4 children)

Where are the rest of the tips? Asking for a friend.

[–] [email protected] 29 points 2 years ago

My phone’s about to die, but I’ll start typing the rest of the tips for your friend:

  • Never, in ANY circumstance
[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 years ago

Here's one, set an alarm to go off in the middle of a date, pretend it's a phone call and if the date is going badly "take the call" and say you've got to leave. I could say my roommate has forgot their keys and accidentally locked themselves out for example.

[–] masterofn001 20 points 2 years ago

Never start a phone call.

[–] [email protected] 20 points 2 years ago

I'll wait with you in awkward silence.

[–] [email protected] 25 points 2 years ago (2 children)

And don't just press the red button. Turn on airplane mode so it says connection timeout instead of call ended.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I believe the phone does hang up the active call as part of its shutdown routine though. So getting a hangup message is still in line with that.

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

How about throwing it into a faraday cage? Like the bags used for those transponders for tolls, or wrap it in foil... Or just mute the phone and ignore it.

Thank you Skeletor!

[–] [email protected] 21 points 2 years ago

Skeletor is always there for us. Thank you, Skeletor! 💯 🙏

[–] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Unless they have you on the Find My app with an iPhone then they can see your battery.

[–] SilentStorms 36 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (3 children)

iPhone users' brains work different

Why would you willingly let someone else track you?

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

If you are a cellphone user I have bad news for you

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Not understanding why someone would give their family and friends access to their location in case of an emergency really is a peak internet moment

[–] SilentStorms 23 points 2 years ago (2 children)

I can understand turning it on if you're doing something like going backcountry hiking by yourself, and turning it off when you're back.

But leaving it on all the time so people I know can open an app and see where I am at any given moment? That's creepy as fuck. There are people in my life who I trust, and care about me, but that's still creepy as fuck.

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It’s called marriage. It isn’t so bad once you get used to it.

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

It’s a joke.

Yes, my wife can see me on Find My Friends, but that is because there is nowhere I am that I’m uncomfortable with her knowing about, and it’s nice that she can see when I leave the office to know when to put the kettle on. It’s a convenience between us, not a Big Brother spying program.

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

It's weird how divisive this topic is. I share with my parents, kids, and husband, and vice versa. It's cute to pinch up the map and look, mom's at yoga or whatever. It's not like anyone's sitting around all day staring at the map. I guess I'm lucky not to be haunted by control freaks past or present.

[–] [email protected] 24 points 2 years ago

You are a shit introvert if you are letting people track your phone. Start listening to Skeletor more.

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago

Haha Find My Network goes [Turned Off]

[–] bearfootbees 15 points 2 years ago

IM SO HAPPY SKELETOR MADE IT TO LENNY SAFE AND SOUND!!! AND IT'S BACK! made my day

[–] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago

"My phones is about to di..." click

[–] [email protected] 11 points 2 years ago

My phone is about to d

[–] [email protected] 10 points 2 years ago

This is less introvert and more "crippling anxiety".

[–] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)

or you can just not answer to begin with??

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Well, you have to answer to make sure that nobody died; otherwise, if you let it go to voicemail, then you just sit and wait to see if a message is left, and then oh shit, they did. Now, I'm going through the 2 fucking minutes it seems to take to get to my voicemail, my heart pounding, oh God, what happened? And then it's just a robot trying to reach me about my car's extended insurance.

(End scene)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

That's horrific.

Do your device not do voicemail transcripts?

I only listen to a voicemail is the transcript is so bad it's unreadable, which hasn't happened in a very long time

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago
[–] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

I would like to subscribe to Skeletor, please!

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

Legend has it that someone's phone is still "about to die" to this day

[–] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago

This is actually pretty useful. Thanks!

[–] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

This tip only works if you have an iPhone, if you own an android they will know you are lying

[–] [email protected] 8 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

Android at 1% lasts more than iOS at 1%.

(It's a meme, but it's kind of true)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I just take up calls I want to take Checkmate

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

Same! (I don’t answer my phone)

[–] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Except the person writes you on Signal after the call and he gets two approved marks

[–] [email protected] 6 points 2 years ago

Who leaves read receipts on?

[–] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago
load more comments
view more: next ›