this post was submitted on 09 Aug 2023
102 points (94.0% liked)

Coffee

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submitted 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) by avidamoeba to c/[email protected]
 

๐Ÿค”

E: This thread made consuming this impostor so much more enjoyable. Thank you!

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[โ€“] [email protected] 29 points 2 years ago (3 children)

Are you suggesting it's not espresso since the stick doesn't stand up on its own?

[โ€“] [email protected] 21 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago) (1 children)

still don't know what op is trying to espresso here

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago* (last edited 2 years ago)

I Ihink it's more that you can continue to see the stick well below the submersion point. No espresso I've ever seen is thick enough to make a stirrer stand up, turkish is the thickest ive encountered and it wouldn't be able to, but I wouldn't consider something that looks as weak as this image espresso either. This is what fairly weak coffee looks like.

[โ€“] avidamoeba 1 points 2 years ago

It stands on its own in this one:

You can measure the thickness of the crema:

[โ€“] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago

Holy shit my sides

[โ€“] [email protected] 15 points 2 years ago

And here I thought it's soy sauce.

[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago

It's called Expresso when it looks like that

[โ€“] avidamoeba 12 points 2 years ago (1 children)

The place I got it from has bags of coffee on the floor and all that. Sells espresso machines. Very performative.

[โ€“] [email protected] 7 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Espresso means "no creamer," right?

[โ€“] [email protected] 16 points 2 years ago (2 children)

Nah, it just means they serve it to you really fast.

[โ€“] [email protected] 13 points 2 years ago (1 children)

No no, that's Expresso. Easy to get those mixed up.

[โ€“] [email protected] -4 points 2 years ago (1 children)

Easy to do because that's how it's pronounced.

[โ€“] avidamoeba 5 points 2 years ago

I'm dying. ๐Ÿคฃ

[โ€“] [email protected] 9 points 2 years ago (1 children)
[โ€“] [email protected] 5 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I suspect this was made by mixing "espresso syrup" and hot water.

[โ€“] avidamoeba 2 points 2 years ago (1 children)

It actually came out of an espresso machine. A large ass, commercial machine. That's why I was so shocked.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

What kind of machine? A good machine will produce a good espresso. Maybe it's a supermarket automatic coffee machine?

[โ€“] avidamoeba 1 points 2 years ago (1 children)

I think it was a 3-head La Cimbali.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

That's a darn good machine. So it must be other factors, maybe the barrista...

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Former barista here, it's definitely the barista.

Though to be fair, the blame is mostly on the shop owner for not emphasizing quality and training the barista well

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 1 year ago

Other factors: coarser ground, longer pull, (maybe) unscaled machine...

[โ€“] [email protected] 4 points 2 years ago (2 children)
[โ€“] avidamoeba 6 points 2 years ago

I've never had used motor oil but imagine it would taste similarly.

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

Yeah they've left the dipper in it too.

[โ€“] [email protected] 2 points 2 years ago

Grind. Just... grind.... at all....