this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2023
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Dating, Relationship Advice, Personals

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Five honest questions to ask yourself if you're unsure about your relationship (that I stole from Instagram) (monyet.cc)
submitted 2 years ago by [email protected] to c/[email protected]
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  1. If someone told you you're a lot like your partner, would this be a compliment to you?

  2. Would you want your future or imagined child to date your partner?

  3. Are you truly fulfilled or just less lonely?

  4. Are you able to be unapologetically yourself or do you feel the need to show up differently to please your partner?

  5. Are you in love with your partner right now as a whole, or are you only in love with their good side or with the potential or idea of them?

Man these are some hard-hitting questions which I feel may or may not apply to Asian-centric countries because we just have too many different social and cultural expectations and roles to fulfill. The above feels like it can only be a resounding yes if you are in an absolute perfect relationship, which feels like it's more the exception than the rule. What even is a perfect relationship nowadays anyway?

I think having some "no"s to the above doesn't absolutely mean your relationship or partner is no good though; although I am absolutely guilty of number 5. Don't date someone hoping they would change for you, bbs.

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[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

I'm curious - which of these questions strike you as inappropriate for asian contexts? From my middle-aged pov, my long married friends seemed to be able to say yes to these questions to a large extent that doesn't seem too out of the global trend (imo)

[โ€“] [email protected] 1 points 2 years ago

The other 4 questions make sense, so let me talk about Number 1. Many people said I was very similar to my ex. We acted exactly the same in certain ways and we had pretty much the same interests. But our core values and beliefs were never the same.

Being a lot like your partner, sometimes is just on the surface.