If I see a lady burying something in the woods behind my house no I didn't
this post was submitted on 13 Nov 2024
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And if I’m on a jury I can acquit for whatever reason I want (just don’t tell the judge your reason, they don’t like that).
I dream of jury nullification.
Protip: you want to dig the hole ahead of time. Otherwise someone might stumble upon you with a body, and then you have to dig two holes.
At that point wouldn't it be more efficient just to dig one slightly larger hole?
It would get prohibitively difficult. You need to be deep enough that scavengers and cadaver dogs can't detect the body, and natural erosion doesn't uncover it. To do that you need a 5-6 foot hole, to get 4-5 feet of dirt on the body. 2 bodies in the same hole means 7-8 feet deep, which is hard to get out of and can collapse on you.
A decomposing body will also naturally cause a depression in the ground as it decomposes, two bodies would make a more pronounced depression. You can mound the dirt to counter this, but that makes it more noticeable as well.
Alternatively you can do what I do when we find dead deer on the property. Just a shallow hole with a layer of sawdust and straw covering it that's been inoculated with lactic bacteria acid.
The lactic acid bacteria supercharges the decomposition process and prevents any smell associated with putrefaction. You basically pickle the corpse with bacteria that outperforms the natural rotifier microorganisms.
In this method you can fully decompose a 150lb deer in around 30 days without any real smell. You can also then retrieve the bones, roast them over a fire to make them brittle, and then break them down to dissolve in regular vinegar, making a liquid calcium spray for your garden.
To learn how to make your own lactic acid bacteria at home using everyday products, you can look into Korean organic farming.
If you're digging a hole to bury a body, it should already be big enough that you can just toss another body in with it.
In that case you should make sure that the person dies very close to the hole you dug. Bodies are heavy! This is one of the main reasons why it’s very difficult to perform the perfect murder.
Fully grown hogs can eat up to 20 lb of "food" per day....... Just sayin'
Calm down Brick Top
Why do they call him Boris the Bullet-Dodger?
...because he dodges bullets, Avi...
Gotta love pork shortening.
They still leave evidence
Not if you burn down the hog barn afterward.
Maybe you need to watch some more true crime
You gotta crush the skull first, or they'll have trouble dealing with it.
...or so I've heard.
You better be that cops favorite little brother if you think they're going to wade into a hog pen.
This is not encouragement, it’s all meant as a joke, then and now.
I worked with two ladies who were heavy into true crime. Consumption of true crime is, apparently, at hobby level proportions among white women. They’re joking they know now, whether they want to or not, how to dispose of a body after all their true crime consumption. The lead doctor emerges and asks, jokingly, how? In unison, they reply: pigs.
Had a similar conversation recently with a buddy and his new girlfriend. He was astounded at how into true crime she was and wondered aloud if he needed to worry about corpse disposal from her. I’m not into true crime, but knew enough to participate. Poking fun, I looked at her and said: pigs. Without skipping a beat she said: you’d have to pull the teeth first.
you’d have to pull the teeth first.
You could do this afterwards, of course, but you don't want to go sievin' through pig shit, now do ya?
Hense the expression "as greedy as a pig"
I would not advocate for anyone to go a far as the meme suggests, but I will say that the most appropriate immediate response I can think of to "your body, my choice" is "your nuts, my knee."
Make sure to say it after making good on the threat. No need to telegraph.
I like the symmetry of "your cock my glock" better.
mmm i'm not quite sure i'm ready to trust that the "i've been consuming truecrime at an insane rate for a decade and have convinced myself that all men are like the ones i've been hearing about" generation of young women will check whether or not i'm minding my manners before deciding to take action against me
Yes, generally feeling unsafe around a whole gender is what this is all about.
If they don't take the time to check your manners, they probably haven't been attentively listening to the true crime. So don't worry, your body will be found!
Maybe try to get your bros to mind their manners so nobody feels the need to test out body disposal methods.
me: "i'm kind of sick of women assuming i'm a murderer or a rapist just because i'm a man who happens to be standing near them"
intellectual women, invariably: "if you aren't personally talking to your friends about why rape is wrong, the fact that women assume that about you is your fault"
me: "i'm kind of sick of women assuming my friends are rapists just because they happen to be men"
Women don’t owe you trust. They have reason to be afraid. There are a lot of shitty men out there. You’re sick of people making assumptions about you, women are sick of being raped and murdered. If you’re not doing anything to change things, then stop whining and let women defend themselves.
Invest in woodchipper stocks, got it.
Vsisne, Pre formula change Antifreeze, denatured alcohol.
Always the minority making the rest of us look bad.